Think aloud
How to respond when he says he’s busy can be quite a tricky question to answer.
When you meet someone new, you let certain things slide because you believe that they will become better over time.
This leads to numerous times when you’re left questioning yourself and the relationship you’re building.
Why is he always so busy? Is texting you that low on his priority list that he will find any excuse to avoid it or is he actually busy?
These questions are actually valid and like any other girl, you just want to know where you stand on his list of priorities.
This is especially true when you know that he is free at that time, that he isn’t doing anything important, and he still chooses to ignore you.
Saying that you’re busy is a luxury when it comes to a romantic relationship, but not in a bad way.
You have to understand that your partner comes before anyone and anything. Your job is more important than minuscule problems, but if your partner needs you, you’re there for them.
You might have received the, “I’m busy,” text way too often to deem it normal, so what can you text him back to get his attention?
On the other hand, there is also the problem of seeming like you’re too needy.
You don’t want to seem like you’re clingy and like you thrive on his attention.
So is there even a right way to answer him in this type of situation? Will he only get mad or will he focus on you?
How to respond when he says he’s busy
You have so many options! I am glad to inform you that you aren’t limited to just one type of response.
You will find the perfect answer to the question of how to respond when he says he’s busy and you might even be surprised.
You won’t seem needy and you won’t seem like you have to be the center of his attention 24/7.
Rather than that, your response will lead him to you (or you away from him!).
Men’s logic in relationships and dating is quite simple.
They either like you and they put all of their effort into the relationship or they don’t and they find any and every excuse to avoid talking to you.
Which one is the case with the guy you’ve been talking to?
Getting a rude response from you will only annoy him even more and he will just want to be as far away from you as possible.
So what’s the perfect balance when you want to know how to respond when he says he’s busy?
There are only two possible answers to his behavior and those are that he’s actually busy or that he just isn’t that into you.
You know his work schedule, you know when he’s off work, you know if he doesn’t have any projects due that he has to work on from home.
So what’s his deal?
To be honest, it doesn’t matter what his deal is. The most important thing is that you have a quality response!
1. Never double text him
So you texted him to see how he was doing or to see what he was up to and he didn’t respond?
Even if he replied hours later with a mediocre text, do NOT double text him to get his attention.
You did your part. You texted him once to see how he was doing.
He wasn’t the one to text you first, to show you that he thought of you. He didn’t mind waiting for you to text him first.
So why is he not responding for hours? What is he doing?
This is especially concerning if you know that he should be home, especially if it’s the weekend.
Don’t just text him multiple times to make sure that he sees the notifications.
Believe me when I tell you that his phone is always on him and if he wants to talk to you, he will.
If you choose not to text him twice, he will know that you are not desperate for his attention.
Double texting him and demanding a text back will only put him off even further.
Let’s be honest, you don’t need his attention. If he isn’t able to spare a few seconds to text you back, he might as well find someone else to play his games with.
You are better than that.
2. How to respond when he says he’s busy and can’t see you
Don’t get defensive and don’t try to convince him that he should go out with you.
Your time is valuable and if he can’t see how you’re trying so hard, then he shouldn’t even have the privilege of seeing you.
I know this sounds extremely harsh, but if a man is finding any and every excuse to not see you, what else is there to do?
For example, you called him, you were on the phone talking and you mentioned that you hadn’t seen each other in a long time.
His natural response should have been to ask you when you’d be free.
He should have been arranging the next date instead of telling you some lame excuse.
A reply like: “I’ll let you know when I’m free,” or, “I’ve been so busy, I don’t know if I’m going to make it,” without any attempt to reschedule a date is just insulting.
Don’t fall for this trap.
Don’t get defensive and don’t tell him things like, “You never have time for me,” or, “I should have known, you’re always like this.”
The best response to these situations is to respond with a casual, “OK,” and then not be available when he asks you out.
You will know when he’s playing you and when he’s actually busy.
If he really does have a busy schedule, you’re an understanding woman, you can handle that.
However, if he continues to play his cards wrong and tells you that he’ll let you know when he’s free so that you can accommodate him fully, then you know what to do.
Two can play that game. You deserve better than that.
There is someone out there who would love to spend time with you!
3. How to respond when he says he’s busy that night, and wants to reschedule
This is a very common occurrence and you shouldn’t get mad at him for this right away.
However, if he has been rescheduling dates for the past few days or maybe even weeks, it’s time to move from that man because he obviously doesn’t care.
On the other hand, a man who simply says that he’s busy that night and needs to reschedule for another time is someone who’s worth another shot.
What you’re going to do is give him a few options. Tell him two days when you’re free to go out.
By doing this, you’re telling him that you’re free to see him, but under certain conditions.
When you do this, he’ll see that you’re not just desperate to hang out with him.
You’re also setting a standard that he can’t expect you to ditch your own plans and responsibilities because of him.
By doing this, you’re even helping him decide.
If he truly wants to see you, he will pick one of the options that you give him and you’ll easily reschedule the date.
However, a man who is not interested in you will simply find another excuse and he’ll continue to lead you on.
4. How to respond when he sends you a text at an ungodly hour
You had been talking to him for a while now and you had never found yourself in a position where you questioned his motives – until you got that text.
Even if it was just a simple, “You up?” text that followed a string of messages that he didn’t reply to, it’s a huge red flag.
Another thing that we can put into this category is if he only asks you to meet at ungodly hours, like 10pm or even later.
He tells you that he’s really busy at other times, even though you know that he finishes work much earlier.
If he sends you texts like these, I am sorry to inform you, but he doesn’t want to have a deep connection with you, at least not in the sense you’re thinking of.
He’s asking you to meet on his terms, not caring about your own sleep schedule or job.
This is especially concerning if you never meet during the day but only when he texts you like this.
If he really cared about you, he would want to meet you during the day as well.
He would accommodate you at other times and you wouldn’t have to question his intentions because he would lay them out in front of you.
Otherwise, he’s just taking advantage of you and the fact that you like him.
If he does this, the best response is no response. Leaving his messages on ‘read’ will show him that you’re not interested in these antics.
However, if you don’t want to do this and you want to be polite about it, tell him that it’s too late.
Give him the option to meet you the next day, or sometime during the week.
You’re making sure you’re making the decision together by doing this, so he can pick a time when he’s less busy.
5. When he sends you a text days after you went out on a date
You two went out on a date and it was amazing! Or at least you thought it was and you waited for him to text you afterward, but he didn’t.
Now it’s several days later and he texts you something as simple as, “Hey, what’s up?” or, “The date the other day was amazing!”
He could have sent that same text message right after the date to ensure you knew what he thought about how it went.
If his excuse is that he was busy and couldn’t text you right away, he could have told you that during the date.
It’s true that a lot of responsibilities find us in the most unexpected times, but those situations are still very rare.
He would have known during the date if he would be busy the next week.
The best way to respond in this situation is to tell him how you felt about the date. Play it cool and casual.
You might want to avoid dropping hints about how annoyed you are that he didn’t text earlier.
You shouldn’t let his behavior slide, but you also don’t want to look needy.
The next time he asks you out on a date, make sure to tell him that you don’t know when you’ll be available, but when you do go out, tell him that you’re expecting him to text you first.
If there are any types of excuses coming from his side that you know can’t be true, ditch him. You deserve better.
6. How to respond when he continues to send you only one-word replies
As with any other scenario, there are just two options.
He is either really stressed and busy to the point where he can’t find enough time to give you a proper reply, or he’s not that into you.
The best way you can deal with this is to start with the assumption that he’s truly busy at that time.
You can send him another text or reply a few hours later, when you assume he should be free, and see how he responds.
If he redeems himself and tells you the entire story about why he’s been so busy or simply starts having a normal conversation with you, then you should forgive him.
It’s not that deep. The man really was busy at that time.
On the other hand, if he continues to send you simple and short replies, please don’t give him your time of day anymore.
If he actually tries to have another conversation with you when he needs something like a favor, or when he wants to meet you on his terms, know that he’s really not that into you.
7. How to respond when he says he’s busy but you see him online for hours
So you talked to him for a while and then he told you that he had work to do, but you still see him online.
You see that he is commenting under posts or he’s posting stories on his social media accounts. He might even be sending you snaps on Snapchat!
How much time will pass until he decides that he’s not really busy and that he wants to talk to you again?
How do you respond to this type of behavior? It’s simple: You don’t.
If you respond to him after he obviously lied to you about what he was doing, you’re giving him control over your relationship.
If you respond to him, you’re basically telling him that you’re fine with whatever stunt he pulls as long as he decides to talk to you.
You should know your own worth and you should know that this type of behavior is unacceptable.
If he wanted to talk to you while he was online, he would have. Nothing in this world can change that fact.
8. When he explains why he’s busy, this is how you should respond
Not every man will make some lame excuse for his behavior. There are decent men out there who will explain themselves!
Just like you and me, he might want to focus on his career or classes or his family. A man who is truly interested in you will explain this to you.
Something like this deserves your full respect because he made the conscious effort to explain to you what’s going on in his life.
He’s also saving you a lot of overthinking by explaining the situation to you.
In these circumstances, you should wish him well and wait for him to text you first.
If you see that it’s taking him a bit longer than expected, you have the full right to text him and check on him.
You won’t seem needy at this point, you’re just concerned. You can even go as far as to offer him your help, if it’s something you can assist him with.
This is the perfect scenario you can find yourself in. It means that he really cares about you and he doesn’t want to lead you on.
9. What you should do when he says he’s too busy for a relationship right now
It doesn’t matter whether you’ve gone on five, ten or a hundred dates with a guy; when he says that he’s too busy for a relationship, you let him go.
I know that it’s hard, but the worst thing a woman can do is pretend like she can change him.
You can’t. Let me be the first one to tell you that you can’t change him.
On the other hand, he might try to contact you even though he doesn’t want to make things serious between the two of you.
In this situation, you need to be very direct about what’s happening.
Tell him that you’re not looking for something casual (if that’s the case), thank him for his honesty, and wish him a happy life.
It sounds so dramatic, but it needs to be done. If not, he will continue to text you and call you, just to get some benefits out of your friendship.
Don’t fall for that trap. He said he’s too busy for something serious and you should believe him.
10. What you should do when he ignores your texts completely
Sometimes, silence speaks louder than words. Let his actions tell you what he thinks of you and the relationship you have.
How many texts did you send him? Did you perhaps try calling him but he’s still not answering?
He’s obviously ignoring you and you should take that as an obvious sign that he doesn’t want to talk to you at all.
No one is too busy to ignore your texts for days.
Even though he might reach out to you days later to tell you that he was in the middle of something, don’t fall for this foul trick.
He didn’t want to talk to you. It’s that simple.
If he does reach out to you days later, after obviously ignoring your calls and your messages, make sure to give him a piece of your mind.
No, he doesn’t deserve your anger. No, he doesn’t deserve you at all, and he needs to know that he can’t mess with you like that.
Tell him how you feel, tell him what he’s done, and tell him why you’re going to block his number.
That’s what he gets for pretending that he was busy!
Conclusion
The conclusion to this article and the question at hand is quite simple: If a man wants to make the effort, he will.
There is no person out there who is too busy or too tired to send you a simple text to confirm that you really do matter to them, which is something you need to always keep in mind.
Because of that, if a man tells you that he’s busy without a proper explanation or simply decides that he’s going to ignore you for the better part of a week (or maybe even longer), he’s just not that into you.
Instead, a man who wants you in his life and wants to start something more serious with you will put effort into texting you and finding time for you.
No one is too busy if they really want to see you or talk to you. Everyone has a few minutes per day that they can put aside to catch up with you.
You deserve someone who will put in the effort instead of pretending like they have something better to do!
