Think aloud
Even though a narcissist wants to appear confident, he’s actually the complete opposite of that. This guy has low self-esteem; he doesn’t believe in himself, and it’s fairly easy to shake him up. So, it doesn’t come as a surprise that some of the simplest things can make him miserable.
Narcissists are hard to deal with because they’re familiar with all these different manipulation tactics that they use on a daily basis. But if you were to prevent them from reaching for these methods of control, you would realize just how weak they actually are.
These people have no purpose without their supply. They feel worthless if they don’t have a person they can manipulate to do things their way.
That’s why they’re always moving from one victim to another, as they can’t stand being alone. They need someone to boost their ego and help them appear more confident.
But what happens when you don’t play by the rules a narcissist sets for you? Is it really that easy to trigger his misery and make him lose his composure?
6 surprising triggers of a narcissist’s misery
Who would’ve thought that a person who acts all tough and confident is actually the one who can be provoked in the most simple manner?
A narcissist will feel miserable for the simplest reasons because he doesn’t know how to control his emotions. It’s his way or the highway. Well, at least that’s how things are supposed to be.
However, when you choose to do some of the following things, you’ll get a narcissist to lose his mind and make him suffer.
1. When you don’t give him full attention
A narcissist is self-absorbed and wants to be the main star of the show ALL THE TIME. He can’t accept staying on the side and being ignored. That’s just not going to work for him.
So, even a simple moment when you don’t give him your full attention is reason enough for him to get upset and feel miserable. I’m sure that men like him truly feel like they’ve failed in life when people don’t listen to them every time they start talking.
You’ll be surprised to hear this because it makes no sense. And you’re right, this behavior would be unacceptable to any normal person who knows how to control their emotions.
It’s completely logical that we’re not always going to be at the center of attention, and there’s not much to get upset about. But when you ignore a narcissist, even for a second, he’ll lose his composure.
2. When you prove him wrong
Everyone can be wrong from time to time. We all make mistakes, and sometimes, it takes others to point them out.
But prove to a narcissist that he’s wrong about something, and he’s going to lose it. This man thinks that he’s always right about everything he says and can’t comprehend that it’s impossible.
So, don’t be surprised to see his face getting all red when you tell him that he’s wrong about something. He can’t tolerate the idea of someone correcting him, and the chances are that he’ll get all passive-aggressive since he doesn’t know how else to react.
You’ll never hear him say, “You’re right,” so don’t expect that from him, no matter how obvious it is that what he’s saying is complete nonsense.
3. When you do something better than he does
Hold on! You can’t do anything better than a narcissist. This man is the smartest and most intelligent man who has ever walked the Earth. He’s impeccable in every way, so don’t even try to tell him that you can do something better than he can.
As you already know, this man has low self-esteem and can’t stand the idea that anyone is better than him. In his eyes, he’s the kind of person everyone should strive to be. We could even go so far as to say that he sees himself as a god.
Do something better than he does, and you’ll clearly see the misery on his face. He simply can’t stand the idea of seeing that anyone is more successful than he is. He immediately loses his composure.
4. When you do something without consulting him first
A narcissist expects you to always ask for his opinion. He wants to feel like he’s the one in charge of your life and that you can’t make a decision without him.
So, when you do something without consulting him first, you’ll immediately trigger his misery. He’ll get upset, angry, and worried that he may lose you.
Even though you probably don’t realize it, a narcissist needs you to need him. This makes him feel in charge and boosts his ego.
When he realizes that you can make a decision on your own, without asking for his opinion, his already low confidence will start crumbling into pieces. This instantly makes him miserable as he doesn’t know what to do about it.
He can’t let you do things on your own. Instead, he needs to be the one in charge; the one you rely on.
5. When you’re the first one to leave him
You can’t be the first one to leave a narcissist. That’s just not how things work in his world.
He chose you because you were supposed to be of use to him, which means that he needs to be the one who discards you first. He never planned for you to leave him without explanation.
This will trigger him instantly, and he’ll feel confused. What should he do? Should he try to make you come back? Or should he let you go?
Honestly, he has no idea how to react, which is why he feels miserable. This was never part of the plan, so he doesn’t know what to do about it. You caught him off guard and did something he never planned to happen. And that’s not how you treat a narcissist. At least, that’s not how he wants you to treat him.
6. When he sees you happy
Other people’s happiness doesn’t sound like a trigger of misery. But regular rules get tossed out of the window when you’re dealing with a narcissist.
He doesn’t know what to do with himself when he sees that his victim is happy. His job was to tear your confidence down and make you rely on him, but somehow, he failed to do so.
This man did everything he could to sabotage your happiness. He played with your feelings, gaslighted you, tore your self-esteem down, and in the end, he still didn’t fulfill his plan.
This makes him miserable and confused. How did he manage to do all those things and still fail to complete his goals?
As you can already tell, narcissists are all about control and manipulation. They need you to do as they tell you, and they don’t tolerate anything less than that.
When you ignore their rules, they feel miserable and don’t know how to react. They can’t allow themselves to chase after you, but at the same time, they can’t let you go before they’re ready to do so.
They will start to feel like you’re playing with them, and let me tell you, they’re going to get pissed about it.