Think aloud
People with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) are real trouble-makers and they will wreak havoc in your life. They have some serious issues that they don’t want to admit and go around hurting people as if it’s not a big deal. But how do narcissists test you? What do they do to push you to your limits?
These people use all sorts of manipulation techniques to get things their way. From love-bombing to hoovering, they won’t stop playing with your sanity until they’re sure you have nowhere else to go.
Their main point is to get you hooked and deteriorate your self-esteem to the point of no return. Once that happens, they’re sure they can treat you however they want, and you won’t be able to do anything about it.
I told you, narcissists are seriously damaged, and the list of things they’re not willing to do is pretty short. They have no feelings, which means they won’t feel sorry for you during any step of the process called manipulation.
They will play with your sanity, your emotions, and your boundaries, only to see how much you’re going to take. But how far will this go? Let’s find out.
How do narcissists test you?
To be honest, narcissists don’t care about you. They keep you around as long as you serve their purpose. But once they get tired of you, they will abandon you as if you meant nothing to them.
So, even if you’re in a relationship with a person who shows narcissistic tendencies, don’t think you can change them. No matter how much you love them, they will always stay the same, and in the end, you’ll be the one getting out of this whole thing hurt and broken.
In the meantime, narcissists will play with your patience just to see how much you’re willing to take for them. And this is how they’re going to do that.
1. They ignore your boundaries
Narcissists know very well what boundaries are but, to be honest, they don’t really care. They will push you to the limits just to see how much you can take.
For example, a narcissist will flirt with someone else right in front of you just to see what you’re going to do about it. The first time it happens, you’ll probably tell him that his behavior makes you uncomfortable, but there comes a catch.
Instead of changing his ways, he’ll repeat the same action a couple of times. This way, he wants to see if you’re willing to ignore your boundaries because of him.
In most cases, you’ll feel like you’re losing yourself. Deep down, you’ll know that you’re tolerating something you shouldn’t be, but somehow, you won’t know what to do about it.
The chances are that you’ll stay quiet from that point on, and that’s when a narcissist feels like a winner.
2. They play the victim
Narcissists have a couple of roles they love to play, and being the victim is definitely one of their favorites. They love the idea of seeing how far people are willing to go just to believe them.
So, every time they find themselves in a situation where they are the ones to blame for something, narcissists simply pull out the victim card.
“Why does everyone treat me like this?”, “It wasn’t me! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” or their famous “It looks like you don’t love me!” are just some of the phrases narcissists love to use in these cases.
After that, they wait to see how you’re going to react.
3. They gaslight you
Gaslighting feels like losing your mind. You know the truth, you’ve seen what happened, but somehow, narcissists shift everything and give you a completely different version of events.
The reason why they do this is that they want to see how far you’re willing to go to trust them. The more they can gaslight you, the better supply you become.
This gives them enough room to do whatever they want and later on, pretend like you haven’t seen things right or that you don’t know what you’re talking about. At the end of the day, you’ll simply give up because you’ll no longer be able to trust yourself.
This is exactly what narcissists are trying to do. They don’t care about the consequences they leave on you as long as they get you to trust them with each lie they tell you. That’s how they know that they’ve succeeded.
4. They isolate you from your friends and family
At this point, you probably feel the seriousness of being with a narcissist. It’s obvious that these people don’t have empathy and that they’re willing to do whatever it takes to gain control over you.
One of the tests they will give you is isolation from your friends and family. The point is that they want you to rely solely on them, without asking anyone else for an opinion.
They’re aware that the people you’re close with can see through their actions. They know that those same people will try to warn you about the reality of the situation. So, they make sure to prevent that from happening.
Another reason why they isolate you from the rest of the world is that they want to see how loyal you are. A narcissistic supply is a person who’s willing to do anything a narcissist tells her. So, if you’re ready to ignore your friends and family for him, then he’ll know that you’re exactly what he’s looking for.
5. They exaggerate everything
Narcissists are the best of the best. Well, at least that’s what they want people to think.
To keep their reputation pristine, they will give you all these false stories about their accomplishments. They will present themselves in the best light possible and then wait to see what you have to say about that.
If they notice that you doubt them, they will be persistent until they see a change in your behavior. Once they realize that you believe their words, they will get a green light to keep lying to you.
Their exaggeration is just a way to see how far they can take things for you to trust them. The worse lies they manage to utter for you to believe, the more successful they feel.
6. They put you through the whole cycle of manipulation
When narcissists test you, they test you for real. These people have no shame and will do whatever it takes to control you. And one of the ways they do that is through the whole cycle of manipulation.
First, they start love-bombing you. Compliments, gifts, and expressions of love are all the things they use to make you fall for them.
After that comes the devaluation, where they do whatever they can to ruin your self-esteem. This is supposed to make you rely on them as they convince you that no one else would love you and that you should be happy that you’ve found them.
In the end, they discard you without any explanation. They just disappear from your life and give you complete radio silence.
But wait, there’s more! Once the whole process is completed, they repeat it a couple more times. By doing so, they observe your reaction. If you decide to get back with them, they know that they did a good job.
They have you hooked, and from that point on, they will treat you however they want since they’re sure you’re not going anywhere.