Think aloud
Have you ever wondered why men choose a situationship rather than a serious relationship? I know I have. That’s why I took some time and did a little research of my own.
I know that being committed to someone takes a lot of effort, especially when you’re young and you’d like to explore all the possibilities. One day, he may want to date a party girl; the next, he’s all about that little nerdy angel he spotted at the local library.
It’s hard for many guys to be consistent and sometimes they’d rather choose to be somewhere in between than to officially define what they have with you. Naturally, that confuses you and so here you are reading another article about those hideous situationships.
Men, men, men – the root of every problem we have. (I believe this is what they say about us too, but hey, you get where I’m coming from.)
As I was in an almost relationship not too long ago (it was fun, what can I say), I’ve been curious to discover all the reasons men choose to stay in one. Here’s what they’ve told me.
1. “I have all the boyfriend benefits and no obligations!”
“Situationships are the best kind of relationships, if we’re allowed to call them that. She’s a buddy, partner in crime, and a shoulder to lean on. I have all the benefits of a boyfriend but without the obligations! I know I can count on her, and it’s vice versa as well.
We did have the talk, but we both like it this way, so we’re not going to change our relationship status any time soon.”
Owen, 26
2. “There’s no pressure to go on dates.”
“I love being in a situationship because I get to do all the things I want. There’s no pressure to go out on dates. If I’m in the mood to hang out with a girl, I’ll call her. If I’m not, who cares.
Also, I don’t have to think about all those important dates and spend hours buying a gift she may not even like anyway.”
Thomas, 33
3. “I’m keeping my options open. You never know who may come around.”
“It’s a very simple answer, in fact. I wanna keep my options open. You never know who’s around the corner. I don’t want to commit to one girl, because I may meet someone I like better.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like this girl that I’m kind of seeing right now, but there are some things I wouldn’t like my girlfriend to do. Like seriously, she expects me to spend the whole day shopping?! I can’t do that.”
Eric, 24
4. “It’s just easier and a lot more fun!”
“Well, actually, I’ve never given it much thought. I think I like being in a situationship because it’s just easier and a lot more fun! Going out on dates with different women, and flirting whenever I feel like it. Sounds perfect for me.
I don’t have to think if I’ll be cheating on my girlfriend – because I don’t have one.”
Richard, 32
5. “I think I’m still not ready for a serious relationship.”
“Honesty, I don’t know. I think I’m still not ready for a serious relationship. Sometimes I’m not even sure about the girl, if I like her, you know. That’s when I like to keep things casual. We’ll go out on dates and I’ll get to meet her and get to know her.
But then, she’ll do something that I don’t find appealing, and meh… I simply stop trying. Maybe I still haven’t found the one worth chasing.”
Zach, 29
6. “It makes me feel good.”
“Huh, I thought you were going to ask me something serious. That’s a piece of cake. It makes me feel good. It kind of boosts my ego to know that I can have a girl by my side and I’m not even trying. Imagine what would happen if I start acting differently.
I’m just going with the flow and figuring things out as they happen. This girl I’m in a situationship with right now, she’s really cool. She lets me be myself and I don’t have to pretend to be something I’m not.”
Jesse, 31
7. “I really don’t want to lose my freedom.”
“Oh, I know what relationships are like. Women tell you that they don’t want to change you, but the moment you commit to one – bam! She starts telling you what you should and shouldn’t do.
Complaining that you’re seeing your friends too much, or criticizing you for playing video games all night long. I really don’t want to risk losing my freedom.”
Lucas, 22
There you go ladies, the men have spoken. Situationships are something that brings them joy and doesn’t stress them out. They don’t have to worry about all those things a boyfriend should care about. Having them by your side from time to time is something you’ll have to get used to.
If you’re the type of girl who also enjoys being in a situationship, go ahead. Explore your possibilities and relieve a bit of stress. You’re a woman, you can do anything you want!
Choosing this kind of relationship (if we can call it that, as James said) can be liberating, but it can also get tricky if one of you catches feelings. Be clear about what you want right from the start so you can avoid heartbreak and other “complications” romantic relationships leave behind.
