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5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

Undermining someone in a relationship is never okay, so if you’re involved with a toxic man, you need to become aware of it.

There will be some signs of a toxic relationship if you’re dealing with a toxic boyfriend, and you can’t ignore them!

There are many ways a relationship could be toxic, and one of them is a controlling relationship.

If you’re in a controlling relationship, you need to be aware of what could happen if you don’t end it.

A controlling relationship is when your toxic boyfriend gradually isolates you from your friends, family, and anyone else who’s dear to you.

You end up losing your self-esteem and having trouble remembering the things you once believed, thought, and felt.

This is only one example of why you should watch out for the signs your boyfriend is toxic.

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

Undermining someone in a relationship results in that person losing their self-esteem and having trouble remembering who they were before they got together.

When you first meet a toxic man, he doesn’t show you his dark side; instead, he may present himself as your dream come true.

But with time, he changes and shows his true face and this is usually when you are already deeply in love with him, and you refuse to face his true nature.

Don’t ignore the signs of a toxic relationship. If you see signs your boyfriend is toxic, you need to get away from him for your own good.

Undermining someone in a relationship can have serious consequences for the mental health of that person.

You deserve someone who will see you as equal to them, not less worthy.

I know how hard it can be to give up on someone you love even once you see how bad the relationship is for you, but you have to think of yourself.

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

A man who likes undermining someone in a relationship is not a man you want to be with.

He isn’t a healthy human being, and in fact, he is very toxic, and it can cause you great pain.

I know that you think that leaving him now would be painful because you still love him… but trust me, it will only get worse with time.

It will never be easy to leave him, but the sooner you do it, the more likely it is that you’ll get out of that relationship with as few consequences as possible.

Maybe you think that you could change him, but you need to realize that it’s much more likely that he will change you… for the worst.

For all these reasons, you need to read these signs your boyfriend is toxic and undermining someone in a relationship is something he enjoys:

1. He is the one handling the communication

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

If one thing’s for sure, it’s that there’s no healthy communication in a toxic relationship, whether you realize that or not.

You may not notice it in the beginning, but you two will only fight when he is in the mood to argue, and it’s the same with reconciling.

Once you realize that you can’t really talk to your boyfriend, it’s time to leave that relationship.

Sometimes, it may happen that you want to resolve a conflict or something that has been bothering you, but you will feel like you are talking to a brick wall if he is not in the mood to have that conversation.

Instead of talking things through, he will be passive-aggressive, and he will give you the silent treatment, which will make you even more furious.

You don’t deserve that treatment from him, and you want to talk things over, but he simply won’t allow it.

By giving you the silent treatment, your boyfriend is actually trying to train you, so that eventually, you become scared to confront him about anything because you are afraid you’ll end up in the same situation. 

This is one of the ways he uses to show you that you two are not equal in this relationship, and over time, he manages to undermine you.

2. His behavior is inconsistent

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

If this guy is so bad, how come you don’t leave him? Well, this sign explains why.

The truth is, he doesn’t always act toxic.

There will be times when this guy will be kind, generous, romantic, loving, and caring, and everything a woman could wish for.

The reason you haven’t left him yet is exactly because of those precious moments when he acts like the best boyfriend you could imagine.

You hold on to those moments, and that is why you hold on to him.

However, soon, that behavior is followed by something the total opposite, so you even wonder if you are involved with a bipolar guy.

His mood shifts happen without apparent reasons, and he is the only one who understands the logic behind them.

That terrible logic is that he knows you would leave him if he was always bad to you, and he doesn’t want that to happen… so he gives you what you need, for a while, making you always hope that the nice guy you love will come back again.

In one moment, he may plan the future with you, and you will really feel the intensity and the depth of his love, and in the next, he will withdraw and push you away.

Also, his nice episodes can easily be followed by aggression or anger that he doesn’t care to explain.

When this starts to happen, gradually, you begin to blame yourself and start to think you are the cause of his behavior; you think he is like this because of something you have done or said.

You need to understand that that isn’t true.

Nothing you did caused his bad behavior; he is simply a toxic man who uses this tactic to keep you from leaving him.

3. He doesn’t behave the same when you two are alone and when you’re in company

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

Most toxic people are also narcissists.

A narcissist has a very fragile ego and feels the need for constant affirmation and the admiration of everyone around them.

It’s probably very important to your boyfriend that others see him in the best possible light because he needs their love and respect.

This is why he tries hard to maintain a good public image, and he will get mad if you don’t act accordingly in public.

Others think of him as a great guy because he acts very nice, polite, and friendly and this is probably what drives you crazy the most because people tell you that you are lucky to have him.

However, they don’t know how his behavior changes when the two of you are alone, when he takes off his mask, revealing his true personality. 

Of course, he was nice to you at first too, but once he was sure you loved him, he knew you wouldn’t leave him when he showed his true face.

All this is driving you mad, mainly because you even think that you’re imagining things. How can everyone think he’s a nice guy if he isn’t?

Thinking like this starts making you believe that it’s you who has a problem, not him.

Since he shows his bad behavior only in front of you, you start thinking it’s because of you.

Do you believe you’re somehow causing him to behave in a toxic manner? Well, that is what he wants you to think, but you most certainly shouldn’t.

Don’t let his mask, which fools others, fool you as well, and especially don’t let it convince you that you have done something wrong.

He is trying to undermine you by making you doubt everything you know is true.

4. He acts superior

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

When you are in a relationship with a toxic guy, he will use every opportunity to undermine you.

In the beginning, he will do it subtly because this way, you won’t even understand that he is belittling you, but your level of self-confidence will get lower and lower, without you even realizing it. 

He will compare you to others and will use what appears to be humor and jokes just to make you feel bad about yourself.

Those jokes aren’t funny, and their only purpose is to mock and criticize you and once you get offended, the excuse of it being just a joke is there to give you the final punch.

That excuse makes it look like not only was the criticism true, but there’s an additional one because you’re not reacting correctly.

He’s basically telling you that you don’t have a right to feel what you’re feeling, and that he has a right to tell you all the mean things he wants.

This guy thinks he is superior to everyone around him, including you, and could never stand for the two of you to be equal partners in the relationship.

He is actually intimidated by your beauty and intelligence, so he undermines them because of his own insecurities.

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

Instead of working on those insecurities, he will try to destroy your self-esteem and self-image, because that is the only way he can feel superior to you and this will cause you not to feel smart enough, beautiful enough, or good enough.

By always indirectly implying he is superior to you, this guy is trying to convince you that you should be grateful that he even laid his eyes on you, let alone put up with you for this long.

He wants you to think that you would never find anyone to treat you right or think you are enough, so you would get the impression you are stuck with him, whether you like it or not.

I know how that feels, but you can’t buy into his lies and tricks.

You will start thinking that he’s the best man you could find, and no one else will want to be with someone like you.

He basically brainwashed you to think that, and you have to become aware of it! 

You are good enough, and there are plenty of men who would kill to be with a girl like you.

I know it’s hard for you to believe it now, but trust me that I’m not just saying it, it’s true.

Any man you could find would be better than one who undermines you, and you will find a man who’ll treat you right.

A man who recognizes your worth will teach you that you deserve that!

You will find such a man, so don’t let your toxic boyfriend convince you otherwise, and realize he’s just trying to keep you from leaving him!

5. He gaslights you

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic and Trying to Undermine You

One of the worst forms of emotional manipulation is gaslighting, which all toxic people use, and it’s more dangerous than you might think!

Gaslighting means that he will go out of his way to convince you that you have misinterpreted or misunderstood some things he said or did.

He may even claim that something didn’t happen or that he didn’t say some things, even though you are sure he did.

A toxic man will constantly play with words, so he can make you think you didn’t understand what he actually wanted to say.

This behavior could seriously harm your mental health, so you need to leave this man as soon as you notice that he’s doing this to you.

All he wants is to be right all the time, and he’ll do anything to convince you that he is, until you simply start assuming it every time.

Besides being exhausting and tiring, with time, gaslighting makes you doubt your mental sanity because suddenly, you don’t know what really happened, what your version of events is, and what his is so you start avoiding any type of confrontation because you know you won’t accomplish anything, and this gives him the opportunity to act the way he wants.

If you have noticed these signs of a toxic boyfriend in your relationship, you need to get away from him before he completely ruins your self-esteem and mental health.

A healthy relationship is when both partners are equal, so don’t settle for anything less than that!

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Toxic And Trying To Undermine You