On the anniversary of my 23rd birthday, I realized that life has been so unfair to me. I found myself in a situation of unsustainable job, failing relationship, financial mess and anxiety.
The following year was not different. We graduated and were thrown into the labor market, having incurred huge student debt, dead-end job and a failing relationship. I quickly came to the conclusion that no one, even yourself, likes you at 23.
Thank goodness, we scaled through. Most of us achieve breakthrough at 24. Majority can say that life after 23 is promising and secured. However, if you have not attained 23, here are a few things you should not ignore.
1. Loneliness is not forever
At 23, you are likely to be lonely and uncomfortable because college is probably over while you are hopefully beginning your career life.
Remember that you will be far from well known people while you will not be emotionally close to those who surround you. You need to adjust your social life in response to these changes and be guided by the fact that loneliness doesn’t last forever, even when it feels like it will.
2. You may not get your dream job by now
Agreed, you can take up a shitty office job or utilize your spare time volunteering for experience. You can take many routes to arrive at your destination. However, don’t beat yourself up in the process. Move on slowly and steadily. You will get there.
3. Everyone gets confused at sometime
Everyone at particular time has experienced confusion. People at times may be completely clueless about what they are doing. You may not be an exception to this, so get prepared.
4. You have more time ahead
As a young individual, you have more time and strength to take big and scary risks about your creative aspirations or your personal goals. Even if you fail, be determined as time is still in your favor to pull yourself together and start over.
5. You will find love again
You may not feel it right now, but definitely, you are going to love and be loved again by people, because the love instinct in you have not disappeared.
6. Don’t be over-anxious
You need to worry less about who you are or not at 23. You still have much time left to become who you will be.
7. Setting and keeping boundaries is allowed
You are free to set professional or personal boundaries to enable you stay healthier and stable. Remember that you deserve the right to take care of yourself as a basic product of your existence.
8. You are never left alone
You may lack financial support from parents or emotional support from friends. Be rest assured that should something really go wrong, there will be people who are willing to help you in ways you may not expect.
9. Failure in goal attainment shows you can perform better
Falling short of your goals (in moderation) means you believe you can do better. Upholding this principle will propel you further than what you could possibly imagine.
10. Live your dream
Do not live to impress anybody, be it your parents or friends. It is never advisable to live someone else’s dream. Do not take important decisions like where to live, choice of vacation, marriage, etc, simply because you want to impress someone and make him or her happy. Make your own choice and make yourself happy.
11. Do not say “yes” when you need to say “no”
You are not barred from saying no. Say no to bad friends, unpromising jobs and unpromising opportunities. Say no with confidence and whenever you need to. This is one of your greatest assets.
12. Ask, ask and ask
It is whoever asks that receives. Nobody can read your mind to know if you are in need of a job, perfect relationship or ideal lifestyle. Ask directly and incessantly for these things. Many people are not getting results today because they are too afraid to ask for them.
13. Be confident
Be guided by the fact that confidence is a major predictor of success. Never feel embarrassed on your job, the person you date and where you find yourself in life, in relation to your mates whom you graduated college with. Be proud of yourself wherever you are in life.
14. You are not growing any younger
Giving your body proper treatment will positively impact your life than you could presently imagine. Watch your diet as your body changes to prevent you becoming worn out.
15. You are probably more attractive than you think you are
I often hear many middle aged people say that they were more attractive in their twenties. Be confident in your appearance and believe in yourself a little more.
16. Don’t be stagnant, keep moving
There are some rare beautiful moments in our earlier twenties when we think we have arrived. However, they will never last long as life constantly changes. Remember you are still developing, so likewise your brain. Never yield to stagnancy.
17. Take a break
At 23, you are occupied with so many issues, ranging from work, striving for goal attainment, to relationships. We hardly rest. You need to give yourself a break from these; live and enjoy your life. Your future will come sooner than you expect.
18. It is normal to lose contact with old friends
It is a normal thing to lose touch with your loved ones, old college colleagues or home town friends. This is natural as you grow older. It is impossible to keep all friends you‘ve ever had alive. Take note.
19. As you grow older, you will definitely leave some people behind
As you grow older, some people will cleave to you while others will leave you. It is unnecessary to force people on yourself, although you can love, support and encourage them. Just keep on moving forward without them.
20. If you will compare, use it as a motivation
Comparing yourself to others will result in time wastage and energy loss; however, it is a great way of motivation to attain someone else’s level of greatness. You are you and not someone else. If you want to rise above the rest, use the skills that are unique to you.
21. Everyone makes mistakes
At one time or the other, everyone has made at least a huge mistake which they wish they could take back. We made terrible mistakes and survived it. You may probably not be an exception.
22. Everyone is scared
No one knows what comes next. In fact, no one has a foolproof plan, perfect unfailing direction nor has it all figured out. The most confident and brave people even start doubting at a point. That is life.
23. Overcoming these obstacles now will result in boredom afterwards
If at 23, you have your life locked and loaded, you will experience a letdown for the rest of your life. Remember, the ups and downs are not only natural, but keeps us from being bored; hence, now is the best time to eliminate them. You get prepared for a future of resilience after a period of struggle.