Think aloud
Admit it, you’ve been there too. I think that there’s no person that hasn’t been involved with ghosting in some way. Have you ever thought about what to say instead of ghosting?
I know that sometimes you’d simply forget the date and the person you went out with. But, it’s common courtesy to at least thank the person for spending time with you, right? Maybe the other person will ghost you after that, but it’s not your problem anymore.
Relationships nowadays would be so much easier without these new trees that constantly pop up out of nowhere. It seems like we’ve got nothing smarter to do than to invent new words. Jokes aside, dating apps, in my opinion, caused all this mess.
Don’t get me wrong, they are a great way to meet potential partners, but they also brought a lot of negative things. Cheating is way easier now, ghosting and textationships became more common. I mean, they even deserved a special name!
Anyways, for those of you who maybe don’t know it, ghosting someone means that you completely disappear from someone’s life, without any explanation. You just stop texting them, when they reach out you ignore them, and you avoid all the places where you could meet them.
Basically, you show a person you’re not interested in proceeding with a relationship, but in a rude way. The one who’s been ghosted has no idea what’s happening and is left confused since everything seemed good from their perspective.
So, next time instead of ghosting, use some of these sentences below. You’ll politely say that you’re not interested and the other person won’t pursue you and wait for you to change your mind.
1. “Thank you for a beautiful night out, but I don’t feel like we want the same things in the future. Good luck.”
You can use this one to tell a guy that the date was good, but your goals and values simply didn’t align and there’s no chance you could make it work. When you want to spend a lifetime with someone, it’s utterly important that you have similar plans for the future. What do you think?
2. “Hey, I had fun on our date, but I didn’t feel the spark. I hope you understand.”
You two simply didn’t “click”. There’s no need to try and force something when there wasn’t the spark that can turn into fire, right? He should understand this and see this as a sign that you respect him enough not to lead him around by the nose.
3. “I think we’re not compatible and I don’t want to give you false hope. I’m sorry.”
Honesty is the best policy, right? This is a nice way to say to a guy that you’re not interested. You don’t have to explain yourself or elaborate on your decision. It’s not going to work out, no matter how good on paper you two look together.
4. “A lot of things are happening in my life right now and I’m not sure I can handle a relationship as well. Thank you for a lovely date though.”
When you have some personal issues that you have to solve on your own and the support of someone else would be just a burden, you can text him this. However, using “right now” in any of these messages actually leaves a place for a possible union in the future, so be careful with that.
5. “I thought I was ready to date again, but I guess I’m not.”
You clearly aren’t over your ex and you’re not ready to go through another relationship just yet. It’s completely fine, take your time to process everything that happened and heal. Just, don’t start dating another guy two weeks later…
6. “I don’t think this may progress into a romantic relationship, but if you’re okay with it, I’d like to stay friends.”
Use this one if you truly liked the guy, but you can’t be anything more than friends with him. However, don’t get mad if he says he’d rather stay away from you completely. Respect him enough not to contact him again.
7. “I’ve met someone with whom I share more things in common. I’m sorry it turned out this way.”
Rather say this than ghosting a guy and then seeing him a couple of days later while you’re holding your new boyfriend’s hand. You’ll avoid getting you all in an awkward situation, especially if there is the slightest chance that the two of them know each other.
8. “I’ve been thinking a lot and this is not the right time for me to commit. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.”
Maybe you’re looking for a casual relationship now and even though you’ve been out a couple of times, you’re not catching feelings. Being honest in this situation is also the best solution because the poor guy may think that you’re moving towards something serious.
9. “I just got recruited for a secret agency. If I tell you anything else, your life will be in danger.”
Okay, maybe you shouldn’t send this one. Well, unless that was the vibe on your last date. But make sure that he gets it seriously and not as another joke you cracked. This one could work in that case and it will leave him with a smile on his face. I can bet he’ll tell his grandkids how you dumped him in a cool way.
10. “Honestly, you seem like a great guy, but I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”
If you’re going through a very chaotic period when it comes to your love life, this is your “breakup” text. You want to keep your options open but you don’t want to hurt such a great guy, so be fair and tell him straightforwardly what’s happening. He’ll appreciate it for sure.
11. “I don’t think this will work out. I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should go out again.”
This one is for when you don’t want to see the guy ever again. The date was horrible and you could barely wait to part ways so you could let him know that was your first and last get-together. He just wasn’t the type of guy you see yourself with and that’s completely normal.
Try to use some of these instead of ghosting. Your life will be so much easier because you won’t have to hide from guys you don’t want to go out with on a second date. Be honest, express your feelings openly and make relationships at least a little bit easier.
