Think aloud
What are the relationship issues that lead to cheating?
It’s a question we all believe we know the answer to, but when we look deeper into it, we’re just finding excuses for this unacceptable behavior. However, those awful behaviors also have some type of background.
Let me preface this by saying that there’s nothing that could excuse cheating. It’s much easier to just break up with your partner and move on to someone else if you really want to sleep with them so badly. Yes, this will break your partner’s heart as well, but at least it won’t leave them traumatized for the rest of their life.
There are serious consequences for cheating. One person has to live with the reality that they’ve done that, while the other person has to live with the trauma of being cheated on.
But, let’s at least try to understand why anyone would want to do such a thing.
10 relationship issues that lead to cheating:
1. Lack of love
One of the issues that lead to cheating in a relationship is when there’s a lack of love involved. That’s not to say that this makes it okay; it’s just an obvious reason for the doings of people. The moment someone doesn’t feel loved anymore, they start to find other ways to cope with the relationship.
Now, you may be wondering why they don’t just break up instead of cheating. Well, it’s easy to stay in a relationship when you’ve been together for a long time. Once you feel like your relationship is completely void of emotions, that’s when someone decides to cheat.
Because there are no emotions involving the relationship, the cheater doesn’t feel bad about doing this, and they search for love somewhere else.
2. Boredom
Boredom doesn’t sound like a valid reason for cheating, but considering that nothing is actually a valid reason, it’s just something that happens.
A cheater gets bored with their partner, so they choose to find another way out, instead of finding ways to make things more exciting. This boredom can be connected to your bedroom life, to the activities you’re doing, or maybe life is just getting in the way of feeling fulfilled.
3. Feeling neglected
Neglect is one of those relationship issues that lead to cheating, but it’s more common among women. For example, when her husband comes home from work, he just throws his stuff around and turns the TV on. He doesn’t care to talk to her about things, he doesn’t care to help her out, he’s plain lazy.
Another obvious way to neglect your partner is to always refuse their advances in the bedroom, or one of you isn’t giving the other any time of day. This could also be connected with the lack of love because a man who loves you would never treat you like this.
4. Situational stuff
“I was just drunk, it didn’t mean anything!”
“She was the one who made advances! I didn’t want to, but she persisted!”
“Everyone was going to the strip club; why should I be the odd man out? It was just a lap dance!”
Have you ever heard these excuses? Well, these fall under the category of situational stuff. He didn’t go out of his way to cheat on you; it wasn’t something emotionally charged, but rather a fling that happened due to the situation your partner was in.
5. Addiction
Addiction is a dangerous thing. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about substance abuse or addiction to physical intimacy. Either way, it’s hard to understand what goes through the mind of someone like this.
When your partner is addicted to physical intimacy, it doesn’t matter how much you comply with his needs in the bedroom; he’ll always want more. If you can’t satisfy his urges, then he’ll go out of his way to cheat on you and find that satisfaction somewhere else.
This has nothing to do with you but has everything to do with him.
Also, if he’s a substance abuser, those substances will completely cloud his judgment. He won’t be able to understand what’s right and what’s wrong. All he knows is that this is happening, and he’s letting it.
6. Dissatisfaction
Dissatisfaction can be one of the issues that lead to cheating. When there’s no communication involved in these moments, that’s when the cheater acts on his urges even though he shouldn’t.
It doesn’t matter if he’s dissatisfied with his job, his home life, or if he’s dissatisfied with your bedroom life. He’ll go and find someone to satisfy him in any way possible. It’s a form of validation that a cheater is looking for, so he’ll do his best to find it somewhere.
You’re probably wondering why your affirmations wouldn’t be enough. Well, my dear, in his mind, of course, you’d be praising him; however, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t see your praise as something special, and that’s why he’s looking for it somewhere else.
7. Commitment issues
Commitment issues are a horrible thing. If the man you’re with is scared of commitment, he’ll want to inconvenience you with his presence however he can! That’s when he cheats on you because things got a little bit too serious for his liking.
That’s actually sad. What you should understand is that this behavior hurts him just as much as it hurts you. However, you still shouldn’t excuse his infidelity just because he’s unstable. Commitment issues will forever be a part of his life if he doesn’t get professional help for it, but you definitely shouldn’t be there to see that process. You have to protect yourself.
8. Trauma
To be honest, one of the leading issues that lead to cheating is past trauma. People go through a lot in their lives, and they don’t get the help they need, so they make the lives of others miserable.
That’s such a common reason for infidelity because trauma can lead to self-destructive behavior. These people are so used to pain that they don’t understand how life can work without it. That’s why they inflict pain on themselves and others.
For example, if he’s been cheated on before, he’ll think that this is acceptable behavior because of his trauma. Also, unresolved childhood trauma can lead to this when he has a false sense of self, and he doesn’t understand that his worth isn’t linked to the things he can physically offer.
9. The fear of aging
Have you ever heard of the midlife crisis? Well, it’s an actual thing. When people get to a certain age, they start to wonder where their life has gone and if they can do anything new, just to bring that spark back into their hearts.
That’s most common with older men who go after women who are much younger than them. These men want to know that they’re still attractive and that they have a chance with a younger woman. Even though so many things are hanging on the line here, they still choose to cheat.
This doesn’t mean that someone who’s in their forties is suitable for this category. Actually, even people in their twenties have this same fear, and they still choose to cheat.
10. Just an awful human being
Okay, let’s stop with the shenanigans. The issues that lead to cheating aren’t things that should ever be excused, so let’s just say that your partner is an awful human being for being in a situation where he’d even think about cheating on you.
He had a choice to make, and that’s what he chose. There’s no going back from that, even if he tries to change; it’s going to haunt your relationship forever. That’s why you have to keep a clear head throughout this process and genuinely understand that things aren’t always the way they seem.
Only an awful human being would do such a thing to their spouse.