Think aloud
The obvious question most of us ask ourselves when experiencing a breakup: Will he ever come back after dumping me?
The period after your boyfriend broke up with you can be challenging to endure, especially if you were in a serious relationship.
The post-breakup emotions can take a toll on your mental health as well as your self-esteem.
But you know what they say: If you love someone then you should set him free, and if he comes back then it’s meant to be.
After a breakup, especially if you were the one who got broken up with, it’s normal to be consumed with thoughts of wanting a second chance with your ex-partner.
However, it doesn’t matter who ended things with who, breakups are generally tough on everyone, no matter how strong you think you are.
But now that you’ve experienced a breakup, you’re wondering if he will ever come back after dumping you.
Well, if he’s in a new relationship, chances are that that particular relationship isn’t anything serious.
Instead, he’ll treat it as a rebound relationship and that’s it.
Your dumper wants to make you jealous or perhaps he’s just looking for a bedwarmer.
And maybe your ex-boyfriend is considering coming back to you, but doesn’t know for sure if it’ll work if he gives the two of you a second chance.
Maybe you had some unresolved issues in your relationship and now he’s wondering if giving it another shot would be worth it.
Whatever the reason might be, in most cases, people do end up giving it another shot, especially if your relationship had strong foundations.
The time that you have to wait for your partner to come back to you can vary from a few days to a couple of months.
And no one can say for sure when it’s going to happen.
However, one thing is certain: If he loves you, he’ll come back!
But why do boyfriends go their separate ways even though they had a healthy relationship?
Well, there are a couple of reasons why a man would leave a relationship.
At first, guys develop particular negative thoughts about the girl.
There’s a lot of negative emotions bottling up inside him before he makes the final decision to leave her.
When these bad thoughts and feelings about her start piling up, the guy starts to question whether or not the relationship is worth his time and effort, since he feels miserable in it.
He simply feels trapped and displeased, so he begins to look for a way out. He questions why the two of you even got together in the first place.
Eventually, he comes up with a solution and that’s to break up.
Breaking up will provide him with the relief that he needed (or that’s what he thinks).
It will give him the emotional and physical distance that he longed for because it’ll “set him free.”
The breakup will also give him some time to think about himself and his new-found freedom.
Men have a tough time understanding their own emotions.
They believe that a breakup will give them some time to think about whether or not their emotions for you are genuine.
And finally, the breakup gives them the ability to do whatever it is they’ve been planning to do for a while.
The dumper truly believes that the very day after breaking up, he’ll feel better.
He believes that the breakup is his path to happiness and that he needs to seize the opportunity right now.
Or maybe the relationship became boring to him and he’s looking to spice things up.
Most of today’s breakups are rarely caused by boredom, even though a relationship provides you with a sense of security and comfort.
However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that both partners are happy.
After being in a long-term relationship or a long-distance relationship, you learn to predict each other’s thoughts, feelings, and reactions – and that’s when most couples break up.
Often, it’s only one partner who feels bored and questions whether or not a breakup is the right decision.
No one wants to be the cause of someone’s broken heart, but someone has to take the blame.
But don’t worry, the dumper will almost always come back after dumping you.
The thing that’s important to remember is confidence. It’s natural to lose some self-confidence after your heart’s been broken into a million pieces.
Having someone reject you and tell you you’re not enough for them can really leave a bruise on one’s heart.
But remember to try to look as confident as you can be.
Start making real changes in your life and he’ll beg to come back to you, trust me.
There are different reasons why your ex-boyfriend may come back to you.
Have a look at the most common ones and later I’ll focus on a couple of things that you can do to increase your chances of him coming back to you.
Will he ever come back after dumping you? Here are the right reasons why he might just!
1. He’s changed for the better
Trust me, men are aware when they’re the reason your relationship didn’t work out.
And even if they try to hide their feelings from you and tell you they aren’t hurt, they’re actually lying.
Guys are affected by these things more than you think.
That’s why they’ll go back to the person they’ve hurt in the past to show them that they’ve truly changed for the better.
Maybe your relationship ended because he was childish and immature before, but due to whatever circumstances, he’s finally grown up and become a real man.
Your breakup might have been a reality check for him and taught him that he took you and your relationship for granted.
Don’t think that he’s playing any sort of mind games with you because he’s probably not.
Thinking about you forced him to rehash some past memories, reminding him of what he no longer has and what he could have had he not made the mistake of breaking up with you.
That’s why he’s trying to rekindle your romantic relationship and show you he’s changed for the better.
2. He thinks your love is meant to be
Since you and your ex broke up, you’ve had plenty of time to sit and think about what happened and what might have happened if you two stayed together.
A lot of couples find themselves wondering what the cause of their breakup was.
Trust me, your ex will come back to you, just give it some time. Don’t go running back to him. Instead, wait.
Your ex-boyfriend may be doing some thinking right now and you’re probably doing the same thing.
Both of you are thinking about the highlights of your relationship, the best date you ever had, and how you felt when the two of you were together.
Dealing with heartbreak is tough, I know, but maybe he’s just realizing now that you two are really meant to be together.
This might not always be the case, but if there was ever a perfect time to think about it, it’s now.
And if your dumper gives your relationship some serious thought, then he’ll find a way to win you back.
He’ll put in the effort to rekindle what’s been lost.
And if it’s meant to be, it won’t take long.
3. He genuinely misses you
The truth is, single men secretly wish they were in a relationship, and guys in a relationship secretly wish they were single again.
But when the guy made you his ex-girlfriend, don’t assume he was too glad about it.
Sure, he may be happy for a couple of days, but soon he’ll be sad once he realizes that he’s single again.
Sure, he can go out with his friends (though he could’ve done so even when he was in a relationship with you).
He can try to find a new girlfriend and go out and party all night without constantly thinking about you.
After all of that, it slowly starts fading away.
He’ll genuinely miss you and the little quirks that made you so unique and beautiful. He’ll miss the way he felt while being in a relationship with you.
This happens always – unless, of course, he had a needy and clingy ex-girlfriend.
4. He sees that you’ve changed
If you’ve been asking yourself “Will he ever come back after dumping me?” the answer is yes, he will when he sees that you’ve changed.
Why, you may ask?
Well, as I already said, chances are that he thought your relationship was boring and too predictable, and now that you’ve changed, he sees that as an opportunity to chase you all over again.
Men like the thrill of the chase. They want to think that they can’t have something.
That’s when they’ll put in extra work to prove, not just to themselves but to you, that they can achieve anything.
Of course, it’s up to you whether or not you’re going to take him back.
And men also like to prove to themselves that the breakup wasn’t their fault.
5. He realizes that breaking up was a mistake
In most cases, your ex will try to come back after dumping you once he realizes that breaking up with you was a mistake.
He might give you a couple of phone calls saying that he’s sorry for dumping you and that he wants the two of you to get back together.
The reason your ex thinks that your breakup was a mistake might be because it happened in the heat of the moment and he wasn’t thinking rationally at the time.
You two had an emotional blowout that ended in tears and heartbreak.
And most couples who break up because of an argument are most likely to get back together once they’ve had time to cool off.
Trust me, if your ex thinks that your breakup was a mistake, then he’ll call you up or send you texts, asking to see you so you two can get back together again.
6. He realizes how lucky he was to have had you
As he reminiscences on the relationship and what a huge mistake he made for dumping you, he may realize how lucky he was to have had you.
After a breakup, it’s common for both people to reflect on the relationship.
Even though men aren’t known for being emotional beings, they actually are.
Even guys will reflect on what went right and wrong in the relationship.
Soon enough, your ex-boyfriend will have these realizations.
He may have even tried to find a new girlfriend, only to realize that she had nothing on you.
And now he realizes how perfect you two were for each other.
Sometimes in a relationship, the partners don’t value each other enough.
And only once we lose our partner do we get to see how lucky we were to have had them in our lives.
That’s exactly what’s happening in your case, or at least it might be one of the reasons why he’ll come back after dumping you.
He may recall how beautiful those little, happy moments were and how much it means to him.
These abovementioned reasons should be considered valid and rightful reasons why your ex would come back after dumping you.
Will he ever come back after dumping you? Probably, but it shouldn’t be for these wrong reasons!
7. He craves physical intimacy
Don’t fall into the trap of getting back together with your ex-boyfriend for the wrong reasons.
Sometimes, men like to take the easier route and instead of searching for a new girlfriend to be his bedwarmer, they go back to their old flames.
This might happen to you too, and could be the reason why your ex is sending you those long text messages in the middle of the night saying he misses you and asking you if he can come over.
And if that’s the only reason your ex wants to comes back, then it won’t take long for you to be dumped again by him once his needs are satisfied.
8. He’s jealous of another guy
Guys can get very possessive sometimes. They want to protect what’s theirs and they’re not afraid to show it.
Once he sees you with another guy, it might upset him to the point that he starts asking you to come back to him, even though he was the one who dumped you.
And if he sees you with another guy in your favorite restaurant, he may not show his jealousy straightaway.
But you know that deep down, his blood is boiling and he really wants to confront that new guy of yours.
The next thing that could happen is that he’ll either try to make sure you aren’t happy with this guy and start annoying you on social media, or he’ll make an effort to win you back.
9. He wants to control you again
Your ex may start missing the time when he held an unhealthy amount of control over you and try to get back with you.
This scenario is particularly true for those guys who are manipulative and controlling in a relationship.
Once they’ve lost that sense of control over someone, they seek to regain it.
If you think that your ex was controlling or manipulative, that might be the reason he wants to check up on you.
Of course, this isn’t the case with everyone but is certainly something to be mindful of.
10. He feels guilty
If you didn’t follow the no contact rule and instead tried talking your ex into getting back together with you, then you’ve definitely tried to make him feel guilty by saying how deeply hurtful it was when he broke up with you.
And if you did that, chances are that he wants to come back to you out of guilt for breaking up with you in the first place.
But remember, guilt doesn’t equal love. You can’t force someone to love you just because you love them.
It’s not easy to restore the attraction and make sure everything goes well the second time.
And if he does come back to you after dumping you because he feels guilty about it, then it won’t take long before he breaks up with you again.
11. He doesn’t want to start over
While some men like the thrill of the chase and the whole “getting to know each other” phase, others would rather skip all of that and jump right into a couple of months’ worth of a relationship.
You might think that your ex-boyfriend wants to go out every night and meet other girls, but eventually, he’ll get bored by the “been there done that” situation.
And when he does get tired of it all, he’ll try to come back to you where he doesn’t need to start from scratch again.
I mean, I don’t think that’s a valid reason why two people should get back together again.
A relationship like that will inevitably have an unhappy ending.
I know you’ve been wondering if he will ever come back after dumping you.
But you have to understand that he needs to come back for the right reason(s).
You have to remember that if he comes back for the right reasons, then it’s more likely to be long term.
So what is the best way to get an ex to come back?
Well, first things first. You have to stick to the no contact rule. Your main goal isn’t to get him back – that’s the byproduct of sticking to the rule.
The best thing you can do is to take time and focus on improving yourself.
Don’t believe that you need a man in your life just to be happy. You don’t!
Try to find time for yourself and experience new stuff. Join a book club or take yoga classes together with your bestie.
​Don’t let the weight of your past relationship hold you down. Instead, think about what you can do in the present.
Whatever it is you decide to do, remember to always keep busy and distract yourself from thinking about him.
By implementing the no contact rule, you’re also raising your level of attractiveness.
It’s extremely important that you let him go and give him some space. Only then will he find out how tough his life is when you’re not with him.
Also, it revives attraction by making you scarce. Eventually, he’ll start to miss you and beg you to get back together.
Also, keep in mind that it takes time for two souls to meet again if it’s meant to be.
You have to give him time to process the breakup.
He may need to go out and experience the single life a bit before he realizes what he really needs is you by his side.
Maybe he needs to be disappointed a couple of times before he realizes how beautiful and gorgeous you really are.
Casual relationships mean little. Keep in mind that they hold no value and they’ll bring him nothing but emptiness.
Your first step is to give him some time to think, even though it seems counter-intuitive at the moment.
And when you think about it, the power of silence is a mighty tool that you can use to get him to come back after dumping you.
If you apply the no contact rule, you actually regain some of the control you’ve lost after being dumped.
Remember to focus on the things that you can control after the breakup!
Whether that be spending some extra time with your friends or chasing after your career, it doesn’t matter.
Spend some time working through your feelings and improving yourself to become a real superwoman.
Even if he doesn’t come back to you, you won’t be spending time crying yourself to sleep. Instead, you’ll have used it to greatly improve your life and yourself.
