At first, you thought you were getting on really well but then he started talking about some other woman. Why would a guy tell you about another girl and does it mean that he’s not actually interested in you?
His behavior makes you feel confused and you have no idea what to do next. This is the first time you’ve found yourself in a situation like this so you don’t even know whether you should keep communicating with him. If he likes this other girl then why would you even bother to make an effort around him?
Even if he’s a nice guy and he actually acted as if he liked you, right now, you’re puzzled. Is he the kind of guy who plays with women’s feelings?
Are you expecting too much from him? Is he going to tear your heart into pieces once he secures his place in your life? These are only some of the questions that are currently going through your mind.
It’s obvious that he’s giving you a hard time with his behavior and you don’t know how to get to the bottom of it. Even though you probably think that he doesn’t like you when he tells you about another girl, it doesn’t have to be the case. There are numerous reasons why he could be acting that way.
And you’re about to find out many of them.
Why would a guy tell you about another girl? 9 possible explanations for his actions
When you meet a great guy and start to fall for him, the last thing you want is to hear him talking about another girl. It’s at the very bottom of your list of preferences.
At that point, you probably start to think that you should walk away from him as he’s clearly not interested in you. You should simply let go of him as it seems there’s no way that he would ever even consider taking your relationship to the next level.
But what if I told you that you don’t have to see his behavior as a big deal? There are many reasons why a guy would tell you about another girl.
So, buckle up and enjoy the ride as I’m about to reveal to you the main reasons why a man decides to talk about someone else when with he’s you.
1. He’s trying to appear more attractive to you
Let’s be honest – guys love to show off. They love that feeling of being at the center of attention, feeling like all women are raving about them.
So, by telling you about another girl, your guy could be trying to show you how attractive he is. He’s trying to persuade you that many women would die to be with him.
He believes that you’ll try harder around him once you find out that there’s already a line of women who want to call him their boyfriend. He wants you to think that he’s the one everyone’s looking for.
By doing so, he assumes that you’ll start chasing after him. He thinks you’ll play by his rules, that you don’t want to lose him because of someone else.
So, he’ll give you a few reasons to make you see that he’s boyfriend material and that all of the other girls know that. In his opinion, it’ll only make you more attracted to him.
After that, you’ll probably try to spend time with him so you can win him over. You’ll try to get his attention so the competition doesn’t steal him and that’s exactly what he wants to happen.
So, whenever he hints about another girl, the chances are that he’s simply trying to get you more interested. He probably doesn’t want to lose you but if he admits that to you, he could end up looking desperate. But if you end up chasing after him then he has nothing to worry about.
2. He’s trying to make you jealous
One of the reasons why a guy would tell you about another girl is that he’s trying to make you jealous. It’s as simple as that.
Maybe he likes you a lot but he doesn’t know how to tell you so. Or he just doesn’t know whether you feel the same way about him. That’s why he’ll use subtle ways to slip in the name of another girl whenever he’s having a conversation with you.
He won’t tell you whether this other girl is his female friend but he’ll simply mention her only to provoke a reaction. He wants to see what you do when you hear him talking about other women.
Will you get upset? Will you react to his words or simply keep the conversation going?
He knows that jealousy is a great trigger and it can push people to do things they normally never would. Maybe you’re not the kind of girl who texts first but after hearing that he’s already talking to someone else, you may decide to break your own rules.
I know you’re afraid that he could be a player but it’s likely not the case here. When he openly tells you about another girl, it probably means that he’s trying to get a reaction from you.
If he was a player, he would never give you a clue about the other women he’s talking to. He would simply keep that a secret and make sure you never found out about it.
So, the good thing is that he’s not consciously trying to play with your heart. The bad thing is that we’re still not sure whether he actually has strong feelings for you.
3. He’s trying to show you what it’s like to be in a relationship with him
Why would a guy tell you about another girl? Well, if that other girl is his ex, then I have two suitable explanations. Before I tell you about the other one in the next point, you have to ask yourself these questions:
When he talks about this woman, does he make sure to put himself in the spotlight? Does he talk about the way he took great care of her, bought her presents every now and then or cooked her dinner every night?
If these are some of the things he tells you about then don’t worry, he no longer cares about her. Instead, he’s trying to show you how amazing it feels to be in a relationship with him.
He’s trying to portray himself as a great and caring boyfriend because he knows how attractive that is. He knows you’d love to be with someone who cares about his partner and he’s using these subtle ways to show you he’s a catch.
Trust me, many of my male friends have done the same. Every time they met a new girl, they’d start talking about their exes and how well they treated them.
It was their way of getting their attention. Not only did it boost their self-esteem but it also made them appear more attractive.
When you hear a guy telling you how amazing he is in a relationship, you immediately want the same. But honestly, the chances are that he’s simply trying to win you over with all these sweet words. If he was actually as great as he said, he would let his actions talk instead of his words.
4. He’s still dwelling on a past relationship
Now, the second reason why a guy would tell you about another girl (in this case, his ex) is that he’s still not over her. No matter how hard he tries to convince himself that breaking up with her was the best thing that happened to him, he’s lying to himself.
He’s still suffering from the heartbreak he went through and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He thinks that he’s ready to move on but the most you’re going to get from him is a rebound relationship.
If he’s giving you ‘grieving vibes’ then you better pass on him. When you see all of the obvious signs that he’s not ready for anything more than a hookup, then don’t get your hopes up.
Lots of guys try to act as if they’re ready to move on while they’re still subconsciously in a relationship with their ex. So, when he pretends that he’s doing great but keeps talking about his ex all the time, then walk away.
A woman can easily tell whether a guy likes her but this one is obviously preoccupied with his ex. He won’t care about you the same way you care about him until he closes the previous chapter of his life.
5. He’s open about his feelings
Some people don’t mind sharing their feelings. They’re open about their emotions and don’t have an issue with being honest all the time.
Maybe this guy is the same. He won’t have a problem telling you about his past relationships and the reasons why they ended. Even if it was his fault, he’ll still let you know that.
It’s just the way he’s acted his whole life. He would rather speak the truth than pretend to be something he isn’t.
So, when he’s a straightforward guy and tells you about another girl, it doesn’t mean he’s not interested in you. His behavior only reveals the kind of guy he is and it has nothing to do with his feelings for you.
6. He’s testing you
Why would a guy tell you about another girl, especially if you only recently met and there’s been some sort of chemistry between the two of you? It simply doesn’t make any sense, right?
Well, somehow, there’s a logical explanation for his actions. I’m not trying to justify his behavior, I’m simply letting you know the reason why he acts that way.
It could be that he’s simply testing you. He’s trying to push your buttons to see how you’re going to react. By doing so, he’s trying to figure out whether you care about him.
Do you simply see him as a good friend or is he more than that? That’s exactly what he’s trying to find out by telling you about another girl.
If he sees you upset then he’ll know he means a lot to you but if you don’t react to his words at all, then he’ll assume you’re not interested in him.
7. He’s insecure
An insecure guy doesn’t know how to admit his feelings to you. He doesn’t know how to tell you that he likes you and cares about you.
At the same time, he doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of your time or attention. That’s why he needs food for his ego. He needs you to think better of him than he thinks of himself.
By telling you about another girl, he’s under the impression that he’ll become more attractive in your eyes. Maybe you’ll be more interested in him once you find out that someone else already likes him.
If you then start chasing after him, he’ll get that well-needed ego boost. He’ll feel better about himself and his self-esteem will increase. If by any chance the two of you then decide to take things to the next level, he’ll then definitely feel like a winner.
8. He’s tactless
One of the reasons why a guy would tell you about another girl is that he’s simply thoughtless. He doesn’t care about the words that come out of his mouth and his behavior shows that.
Maybe this guy is the same. He doesn’t mind telling you how hot some other girl is. He’ll look at her and make a comment while you’re sitting next to him.
This kind of thing doesn’t bother him as he’s not used to hiding his feelings. He says what he thinks and is transparent about everything he does.
Even though he could hurt you by saying things like this in front of you, he doesn’t mind doing so. He could be making you insecure but he wouldn’t care about that if he’s tactless.
So, if his words start to hurt you and you can no longer tolerate his behavior, then you shouldn’t waste your time on him. It’s always better to be alone than with someone whose presence doesn’t make you feel comfortable.
9. He sees you as a friend and nothing more
The reason why a guy would tell you about another girl is that he sees you only as a friend and nothing more. Like it or not, you’re in the friend zone and it’s hard to get out of there.
Because he doesn’t see you as anything more than a friend, he’ll feel comfortable sharing his feelings about other girls with you. In this case, he probably doesn’t know that you secretly like him which is the reason why he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong.
You can either admit your feelings to him or keep listening to his relationship issues while pretending like it doesn’t bother you. The choice is yours.
How can you know that a guy likes you when he tells you about another girl?
Now that you know many of the reasons why a guy would tell you about another girl, you probably want to know one more thing. How can you know whether he likes you when he acts this way?
Should you see him only as your guy friend and nothing more than that or is it reasonable to get your hopes up? Here’s how you can find out.
1. Consider what he’s telling you about another girl
The most important thing is to figure out what he’s telling you about this other girl. Is it something harmless and within the boundaries of friendship or is it more than that?
Has he ever told you that he’s dating this other girl? That he likes her or has strong feelings for her? Has he ever mentioned that he’s attracted to her and wants to try his luck with her?
If any of the answers are yes then the chances are he’s already too involved and doesn’t even think of you as anything more than a friend. She’s the one who stole his heart and there’s not much you can do.
However, if he clearly told you that the girl he mentions a lot is his best friend, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t jump to conclusions.
If they’re just friends as he says, then you should believe him. As long as their behavior stays like that, you have nothing to worry about.
2. Pay attention to his body language
When he talks about another girl, you should pay attention to his body language. Does it change or does it stay the same as usual?
If you notice him getting nervous every time he mentions her name, then there’s a good chance that he likes her. When the thought of her makes him act awkward then he probably has strong feelings for her.
However, if he keeps eye contact with you while telling you about this girl and his behavior is relaxed as normal, then don’t worry. If he doesn’t feel attracted to her, he won’t feel anxious when talking about her. In this case, she’s probably his friend and nothing more than that.
Once you get to know each other better, you can easily ask him about her. If he has nothing to hide, he’ll tell you the truth and prove to you he doesn’t see her the way you think he does.
3. Think about how often he talks about her
One of the subtle signs a guy is interested in someone is the number of times he mentions her name. When she becomes a part of your every conversation, that’s when you should start seeing red flags.
It means that he likes her, even if he hasn’t told her so. He’s probably hiding his feelings because he doesn’t know how to admit them to her.
In this case, he doesn’t see you as anything more than a friend and that’s why he feels comfortable sharing his feelings with you. He keeps talking about her day and night and he uses you as his shoulder to cry on and for moral support.
On the other hand, if he simply mentions her name once or twice, every now and then, then there’s no cause for concern. It could mean she’s just a friend.
If she’s his best friend then it explains why she’s a part of every life situation he’s been through. It’s just that they’re always together and have always been there for each other. Plus, if he shows you obvious signs that he likes you and only you, then you have nothing to worry about.
4. Consider whether he makes an effort around you
Now, you already have in mind how much he talks about this other girl. Put that aside and pay attention to the following: How much effort does he put into his relationship with you?
Once you figure out the answer to that question, you’ll be able to find out whether he actually likes you or if you’re nothing more than a friend.
Does he pay attention when you talk? Do you see him listening to you closely or looking around and simply waiting for his time to talk?
Is he the one who invites you out most of the time or are you always the first to plan a meeting? Does he text or call to see how you’re doing or do you have to send a message first?
Even though these things may seem irrelevant, they’re of huge importance at the very beginning. As you’re slowly getting to know each other, you need to know that this guy wants to have you around.
And in that case, he’ll do all of the things mentioned above to show you he needs you in his life. It’s his way of letting you know that he doesn’t want to lose you.
So, when you’re the first one to always text or call, it gives you the impression that he doesn’t like you the same way you like him. It shows he’s not interested in you the way you would want him to be. That’s why you should pay attention to his actions.
If he acts like he doesn’t like you then you don’t need anything else. You already have yourself the answer and even though it’s not what you’re looking for, at least you know the truth.
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