12 Reasons Why Men Always Come Back After Breaking Your Heart

Even though he was the one who left you, he contacts you months later for no reason. So, you start wondering why men always come back. 

Breakups are never easy, especially when you’re the one being dumped. You think that your ex-boyfriend will quickly move on and find another girl, and you’ll be sitting in your room sad and lonely. 

You experience heartbreak and you think that you’ll never recover. But what if I tell you that you will? Would you believe me when I say that being dumped isn’t a bad thing?

After all, you’re a strong woman that can survive anything and anyone. In the end, they always come back, you just have to patiently wait for it to happen. And he will miss you. 

Maybe you don’t want him back, though. Maybe you moved on to a new guy and think that giving your ex a second chance isn’t worth it. And that’s completely fine, you shouldn’t feel guilty at all. 

But why do men always come back, you wonder? What is the reason for them taking the same road all over again? 

Is it because they got bored with those other girls and they want some familiarity in their lives? Or is it because they finally accepted they made a mistake?

Maybe it’s because you used the no-contact rule and you moved on from that awful guy who always mistreated you. Or maybe they want a sneak peek into your life to see if you miss them as much as they miss you? 

Many men come back after breaking up with you.

The real reason that men come back months later is they realized they took you for granted. That’s often why exes become exes in the first place.

Throughout your relationship, you felt as if you’re the only one putting in the effort. The only thing that he did was selfishly feed off your love, without reciprocating even the tiniest bit. 

And once he realized that he could get away with that, he just continued to mistreat you as if you didn’t have any emotions. He just expected you to love him.

And you blindly believed in every word he said because you truly loved him. Your love was unconditional – the only way you knew how to love. 

However, as you matured over time, you became aware of the fact that he was using you, so you backed off and gave yourself some time and space.

That’s when he noticed that you’re not as involved anymore as before, so he left you. 

Your heart was broken, but you found out that happiness comes within yourself. You realized you don’t have to have a guy in your life to feel happy and satisfied. You have your close friends and family who’ll give you the unconditional support that you need.

And once you took that attention from him and focused on yourself, he comes back into your life as if nothing ever happened.

So why do men always come back? 

Once he feels the need for that unconditional love, he will come back. He knows you’ve been devastated and heartbroken, but he simply doesn’t care because he needs to have that feeling again.

And his reappearance leaves you with dozens of questions and not a single answer. 

Well, have a look at these top reasons why men always come back to find your answer. 

1. He has a guilty conscience

Dealing with a breakup can definitely leave some consequences on your mental health. 

A guy who leaves a girl for his own imaginary reasons (because he got bored and wanted to play the field a bit) will definitely feel guilty once he realizes that she was the only valuable thing in his life. 

And conscience doesn’t age ever. You can be an old grandpa or grandma and still feel guilty for damaging someone’s self-esteem and overall well-being, even if that happened twenty years ago. 

The reason why men always come back is that at some point in their lives they start feeling guilty about what they’ve done, said, or thought about you.

That’s why many love experts will tell you that the best relationship advice when experiencing a breakup is to put your ex on a hold and maintain a period of no-contact. It can be tough if you’re using the no-contact rule the first time, but it’s worth it.

His guilty conscience will kick in and his love life will be turned upside down. He’ll realize the guilt he’s feeling deep down in his heart is interfering with his everyday life.

And once he becomes aware of that, he’ll make a move to save himself from that misery.

He’ll reach out to you – be it through social media or a phone call – saying that he’s changed and that he deserves another chance. He might even tell you that everything will be different the second time.

But you know that’s not true. He’s only doing that because he can’t live with his guilty conscience.

He knows that he ruined your life and now he wants to make everything right. His happiness depends on whether or not you’ll ever forgive him.

2. He’s only testing your boundaries

So, your heart is broken and you’re thinking, “Will he ever come back?” Well, the truth is he might just do that to test your boundaries and nothing else.

Sometimes men are curious to see your reaction when they come out of the blue and surprise you with a phone call or a text message. 

Maybe he wants to know whether or not he still has you in the palm of his hand or if you prepared to give him another shot. 

Whatever the reason, it’s always dangerous to test someone’s boundaries. 

What you’re doing is that you’re trespassing on someone who probably forgot about you a long time ago. You’re testing their patience to see how far they will go. 

And no one with any decency would ever do that, but still, some men will try this technique.

Why? Because they got bored and they can’t accept the fact that someone who loved them dearly moved on from them.

Or maybe they’re doing it because they think you’re weak and you won’t fight against it. 

That ex of yours who called you last week just to see how you’ve been doing is testing your boundaries to see how you’ll react. He wants to know whether or not you’re prepared to give him that sweet unconditional love that you used to. 

The question is: Have you moved on?

3. He wants to make sure you’re not dating anyone else 

Even though you’re not together anymore, a man can still be possessive and try to manipulate you.

Once you become his ex-girlfriend, he’s free to roam and play the field as much as he wants. He can hang out with his friends and hit on other girls without feeling guilty for any of it.

However, the next day when the party stops and he’s alone with his own thoughts, guilt kicks in.

He’ll think about how unfair it actually was to leave you alone and break your heart. He’ll start wondering about what you’re doing, if you’re dating anyone else, whether the guy is better than him – his mind will go on hyperdrive. 

And as a consequence of his jealousy, he’ll come running back to you just to prevent you from seeing anyone else. He’ll want to ruin your current relationship (if you’re in one) because he can’t stand the fact that you moved on without him.

And nothing hurts a man’s ego more than knowing that you found someone better than him.

4. His family and friends are pressuring him

Family and friends can be very influential. After all, they play an important role in your life and can lead you to believe that you’re not making the best decision for yourself.

Maybe the reason men always come back is that they’re being pressured by their family and friends. Perhaps your mutual friends are saying that breaking up with you was the worst decision he ever made, so now he wants to come back. 

But why does that happen? Well, it might be because you left a very powerful impact on his family members and friends and now they want him to reunite with you. 

Maybe it’s because they know you’re the only one who had a positive impact on him and they’re trying to get him to go back to you one last time. 

They helped him realize that you were the best thing that’s ever happened to him and that he should apologize to you and ask you to give him another chance.  

You never know, maybe he truly needed to hear that outside opinion from the people closest to him. And maybe he does finally realize he made a mistake by letting you go. 

5. He senses you’ve moved on

You know that women have this sixth sense, but did you know that guys have that too? 

Tell me, has this ever happened to you?

So, you two have broken up and you’re racking your brain trying to figure out what you did wrong. You know you aren’t the one to blame for the breakup, but still, it’s very hard for you to move on. 

Months pass by before you finally find happiness within yourself and bring all the pieces of yourself back together. Instead of crying over some guy who broke your heart, you decided to get a grip on your life and start a new chapter without him.

So, you go on a couple of dates, you meet awesome people, and the smile finally returns to your face. You don’t think about him anymore and everything that happened before is now a thing of the past.

You’ve learned your lesson and finally moved on.

But then, all of a sudden, he contacts you. He sends you a message saying that he misses you and he’d like to see you again.

You start wondering: How did he know that you finally moved on from him? And how come he didn’t show up when you were healing from the breakup? 

Well, it might be that he senses that you’ve moved on and that’s why he wants to come back. This psychic radar is something that most exes have built into them. 

6. He’s second-guessing his decision

Another reason why men always come back is that they start questioning their own decision. I know, it’s one of the worst reasons that someone could think of.

It’s not like you decided which movie to watch and now you’re wondering whether or not you made the right decision. Deciding to leave someone isn’t the same as choosing a movie for the night. 

Now that you’ve moved on with your life without him, he’s thinking that he made a mistake and wants you back.

But, love doesn’t work that way. You can’t break someone’s heart and expect them to welcome you with open arms once you regret your decision.

As I said before, having a guilty conscience is the worst. When you have it, you start to go over the pros and cons of your decision and the fact that you probably made an irreparable mistake. 

7.  He’s changed

The most common reason why men always come back after a breakup is that they think they’ve changed. 

There are various reasons why it didn’t work out for the two of you. Maybe one of them was because your man had some bad habits that you thought he would change but never did. 

And some men will definitely want you back after a breakup to prove to you that they genuinely have changed. They think that they deserve a second chance based on the fact that those habits are now gone. 

But what if you had some deeper issues that are unfixable? 

I know that you might still have feelings for him and now that he says he’s changed, you might consider taking the poor guy back. 

But be careful not to fall into the same trap all over again. He might just be sending you some mixed signals and you don’t know how to interpret them because you didn’t give yourself enough time to heal. 

8. He’s curious about your life

Sometimes, men are bored, so they want to test the waters and see how you’re doing. What does that mean exactly?

Well, once he decided to leave you, he didn’t think that he would come back to you ever again – or any time soon. 

He was sure that he made the right decision for himself and he didn’t think about your feelings at all.

And while you’re feeling alone and empty, he’s continued with his own life like nothing bad ever happened. But that will last only for a while before he comes back to you.

Maybe he saw a girl that looks like you or heard a song that reminded him of you, and now he can’t stop thinking about you.

So, that’s why he decides to contact you and test the waters. Curiosity can force you to do things you never imagined doing. 

And suddenly, he’s asking you how you’ve been, what you’ve been up to, if you’ve met someone new, or something like that. That’s him testing the waters to see if you would accept him back. 

In most cases, he doesn’t contact you to really see how you’re doing and if you’re okay, but because he needs the affirmation that he still has a chance of getting you back. 

After a while, once he’s gathered enough info to satisfy his curiosity, he’ll continue with his life. 

9. He wants to chase you

Chasing after a girl is something that every man likes to do. It’s a well-known fact that men love the thrill of the chase. 

They have this inborn feeling that they have to chase someone from the very beginning, from the moment they’re born. It’s very difficult to describe, so hear me out.

Let’s say you meet a handsome guy on a girl’s night out and you find him very attractive. You can’t help but give him your number, even though you’ve promised yourself you won’t fall for anyone. 

But the second he gently touches your shoulder and whispers sweet nothings into your ear, you fall head over heels for him. 

You play it smart and you don’t show him that immediately. You let him chase you because you know he craves that. 

And once you show him some signs that you like him, he’ll be done with the chase because he feels fulfilled.

Why does that happen? Well, because his ultimate goal was to feel that adrenaline again. 

And let’s say that he took it to the next level and you had a healthy relationship. But once you built a routine, he slowly started pulling away from you. 

It seemed as if nothing excited him anymore. And that’s when he decided to leave.

Then after some time passes and you no longer think about him, he comes back.

But why? Well, he has the opportunity to chase you again and he secretly wants that. It might sound silly to you, but it’s the truth.

Many men come back just to feel that thrill again.

10. He genuinely misses you 

It is possible for a guy to become aware he made a mistake and now he genuinely misses you. This is a valid reason why men always come back.

He can’t stop thinking about the beautiful time he spent with you and now he wants a second chance.

Every single thing starts to remind him of you. When he sees someone holding hands and eating ice cream the same way you used to, he immediately reminisces on the past. 

It’s possible that he kept all of your gifts because deep down he believed that he would come back to you. And now that he’s looking at them, he starts missing you.

He can’t help but think about you 24/7. Everything distracts him and reminds him of you. His heart is longing for your gentle touch and sweet words. 

So, that’s why he decides to hit you up with a text: “I miss you.” 

And the first thing that pops into your head is that he is lying to you and isn’t speaking from his heart. 

It’s difficult to believe someone’s words once trust is gone. I know it’s hard to believe, but maybe he genuinely misses you.

11. He found out the grass isn’t greener on the other side

Some guys just don’t mature enough. They think that there will always be someone better for them than who they already have. 

They fear that they might be missing out on something and that’s why they leave their women.

I know, it’s really toxic to think this way, but it’s a reality in our lives.

When he left you, he was thrilled and excited because he could date other girls and experience the “better.” He was optimistic he’d find someone more perfect than you. 

But little did he know that the grass isn’t greener on the other side.

He’s now suddenly realized that every single person he meets has their own flaws. The reality that no one is perfect has hit him.

He’s become aware of what he already had, and that’s when he starts regretting ending things with you. That’s when he’ll try to come back – when he realizes that he took you for granted. 

12. He regrets breaking up with you

Once he realizes that everyone has their own flaws and that the grass isn’t greener on the other side, he’ll regret breaking up with you in the first place.

He’s fighting against his feelings, but emotions always win. However, it might be too late for him if you’re already happy with another guy. 

One of the big reasons why men always come back is that he finally realizes he was selfish and ignorant. He admits to the fact that he prioritized himself over you.

And so he says he’ll try to change for you. The question is: Do you believe him?