Think aloud
Dating is so exciting, isn’t it? You get to meet new people, amaze them with your charming personality and irresistible sense of humor, and spend hours waiting by the phone expecting their call. Why does this happen? Don’t you just wish you knew why guys don’t call when they like you?
Guys are perplexing creatures, and you might never understand what’s going on in their heads. One moment they’re all over you trying to spark your curiosity and get you to go out with them. Then, as soon as they have your full attention, they lose interest. How frustrating is that!?
On the other hand, you have to admit it’s not always their fault. We as women tend to expect men to think, react, and behave the same way we do.
You might think you know why he hasn’t called you yet, but what if you’re wrong? What if our perception of the appropriate time to call back after a date has been inaccurate this entire time?
Before you completely scratch him off your list, here are some reasons guys don’t call even when they like you. I might not be an expert, but I’m almost positive the reason you’re looking for is listed somewhere down below. So keep on reading.
10 reasons guys don’t call when they like you
Oh, the never-ending dispute between men and women! Who should call first? You’ve been waiting by the phone for ages expecting to hear his voice, and you’re starting to lose all hope.
But what if he’s doing the same? What if he’s banking on you to make the first move? What if he’s not sure if you even like him that way?
You’re sure you did everything right! You laughed at his jokes, and ever so slightly brushed his hand when he reached out to grab your coat. You’ve made sure he knows you’re interested.
He even insisted on walking you to your door, which is a clear sign he liked you, right? Then why guys don’t call when they like you? Or to be more precise, why doesn’t this guy call you when you’re 100% sure he’s interested in you?
1. He’s playing hard to get
It’s no secret guys love the thrill of the chase. But did you know they also like to be chased?
Some guys find excitement in knowing a girl is on the other side of the phone biting her nails, waiting to receive a call. In fact, this is one of the most common reasons guys don’t call back immediately after the date.
It’s important to mention that his intention isn’t to hurt you with his actions. He just thinks this strategy will make you want him even more (and there is definitely something to be said about girls wanting things they can’t have).
If you think he might be the type to keep you waiting, don’t give him the satisfaction of you reaching out first. Two can play this game, just make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into!
2. He’s shy
Believe it or not, guys can be shy and overthink every word they say to you. Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t call you because he can’t get over the feeling of utter despair every time he picks up the phone to dial your number!
So, what do you do if the guy you’re interested in is the shy type? You have to understand one thing: A shy guy will often struggle to keep the conversation going even if you call him.
The best thing you can do is be patient. He will become more and more comfortable around you as time goes by.
Shy guys tend to appreciate people who stick around and give them a chance to prove themselves. Rushing him or forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to will only scare him off.
3. He’s busy
There’s a time in every person’s life when you suddenly feel overwhelmed by the amount of work to be done, and by other issues that seem to accumulate at an incredible rate. You shouldn’t exclude the possibility that your date hasn’t called you yet simply because he hasn’t had the time!
Problems arise when this becomes a reoccurring situation. If he never makes time to call you, and always uses the excuse of being too busy, you have a serious flaker on your hands.
It shouldn’t be difficult to find a couple of minutes during the day to check in. Unless you’re expecting a 60-minute FaceTime in the middle of the day, he should be able to give you a quick call in most situations.
4. He has phone anxiety
Phone anxiety is very different from shyness. Some guys can be outgoing and confident but completely shut down when they need to communicate over the phone.
Phone anxiety is a real thing – look it up! If you’re wondering why some guys don’t call even when they like you, this might be the answer. It would explain why he was so amazing on the date but seemed like a completely different person once it was expected of him to reach out.
Try your best to understand his fears. You might love talking on the phone for hours, but if you truly like this guy, you should consider compromising. Besides, a face-to-face conversation is always a better option!
5. He forgot
“Why guys don’t call when they like you? I’m starting to think that my expectations were too high.”
He’s just human, you know? There’s a real possibility your date simply lost track of time and forgot to call you back. It sounds farfetched, but you’d be surprised at how many men are capable of going out on a date and forgetting all about it by the next morning.
If he’s one of those guys who run around with mismatched socks and coffee stains on his shirt because he forgot to do his laundry, should you really be surprised he failed to call you back? He’s probably still processing the fact you even agreed to go out with him in the first place.
If this is the case, you might want to consider calling him first. He’s a little muddled, but he’s got the spirit and he seems like a really nice guy. You’ve got nothing to lose!
6. He took dating advice from his friends
Why do guys think taking advice from their beer-mates is a good idea? Especially when it comes to dating women!? Unfortunately for you, some guys believe they should keep their date waiting for two or three days before calling them back.
So, the reason he’s not calling you after the date might be that his friends are telling him not to. I’m sure you talked to your girlfriends about him, too! There’s nothing wrong with asking for another perspective when you’re uncertain about your next move.
The point is, he doesn’t want to come across as too interested. In his mind, if he calls you immediately after the date, he’ll scare you off. So, he decides to keep you waiting in hopes it will make him seem more desirable in your eyes.
You shouldn’t be too mad at him. His friends are filling his head with nonsense!
7. He’s talking to someone else
Dating isn’t what it used to be. In the age of Instagram and Tinder, it’s become normal to date several people at the same time before figuring out who you want to be exclusive with.
It’s possible your date hasn’t called you because he still hasn’t decided if you’re the one he wants to be with. He might have gone on several dates this week and met someone else in the meantime. Don’t be disappointed – this type of thing happens more often than you’d think.
The best way to avoid this is to be upfront with your next date. Make sure to ask him if he’s seeing anyone else, and be clear about your wishes and intentions.
I’m not saying you should scare him off by talking about your future children, just make sure you two are on the same page before making any decisions about your relationship status.
8. He’s not looking for a relationship
People have different priorities in life, which is why you should always be upfront about yours. It’s better to avoid a misunderstanding than to sit around waiting for a guy to call you.
There are so many guys out there who aren’t ready to be in a relationship. To be honest, they’re either not ready to be in a relationship with you, or they’re looking for a no-strings-attached arrangement.
Is it possible your date was looking for a fun time, but you’ve given him signals you want something more? If that’s the case, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t call you. You two clearly aren’t on the same page.
The two of you have different views on dating and relationships, and he’s unquestionably not a good fit for you. Chances are, he’s already moved on to someone else, so you should do the same.
9. He expects you to make the first move
He’s not shy. He’s not socially awkward. He doesn’t have phone anxiety. So, why hasn’t this guy made the call? Some guys are just lazy, expecting you to make an effort and reach out to them.
Guys are simple. He took you out on a date and walked you back to your door. In his mind, he’s already done everything he could to show you he’s interested. All he has to do now is sit back and wait for you to make the next move.
In all honesty, there are worse things a guy could expect from you. If you really like him, there is no reason you shouldn’t be the one to call first. It’s 2022, and we’re ready to leave the outdated preconceptions about relationships in the past.
10. He’s just not that into you
We’ve discussed every other reason guys don’t call when they like you, but we can’t forget about one more possibility. Maybe he just didn’t like you as much as you thought he did, and that’s completely okay!
You probably misread the signals because you wanted him to like you. Did you say something that might have upset him? Were you playing hard to get and coming off as arrogant? Could you have done something differently?
Stop beating yourself up over it! You can’t control somebody else’s emotions. Guys aren’t good at talking about their feelings so you shouldn’t be surprised he chose to stay silent. It takes a lot of courage and maturity to let someone down. Avoiding calls is what cowards do!
What relationship stage are you in?
Maybe you feel overwhelmed and unable to recognize which of these possibilities describe your situation. Perhaps you’ve already called your girlfriends hoping to gain some valuable insight. Take a deep breath and think.
What stage of the relationship are you in? There is a big difference between waiting for a call from a guy you just met and waiting for a call from a long-term boyfriend.
1. Why guys don’t call in the dating stage
At the beginning of every relationship, things are funny, flirty, and undefined. Maybe you just met and went out for coffee, or you’ve been dating on and off for some time without putting a label on your relationship.
Either way, in this stage of the relationship, a missed call isn’t that big of a deal. If you just started dating, he might be too busy with work and simply forgot to check in. Or, he might be playing hard to get in the hopes you’ll be interested enough to make the next move.
The point is, you’ve only been on a couple of dates and you’re already spending all your time wondering why he hasn’t called you. You can’t force someone to reach out to you. If you want to talk to him so badly, just call him!
On the other hand, if you’ve gone out of your way to contact him (more than once), and he still hasn’t called you back, he’s likely no longer interested in you. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but you want to make yourself available for someone who will call you every day just to hear your voice.
You don’t want to be with someone who makes you feel like you’ve done something wrong, and like you have to walk on eggshells every time he fails to call you. Be patient, you’ll find someone worthy of your time and energy.
2. Why guys don’t call in an established relationship
Some guys become too comfortable in a long-term relationship. He probably doesn’t feel the need to call you because he doesn’t have to impress you – he’s already in a relationship with you!
Unfortunately, guys are known to be completely oblivious to our needs. He might not even be aware you want him to call you, so I suggest you have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. You might be surprised to find out what you can accomplish if you just ask nicely.
However, if he ignores your calls and doesn’t reach out to you when he has the chance, he might be losing interest. It’s possible he’s conflicted about whether he wants to end things between you, or he’s going through some sort of a phase. He hasn’t called you because he’s fighting his feelings for you.
I understand it’s hard, but the only way to deal with this situation is to confront him. You deserve to know where you stand with him. Make sure to avoid negative expressions, accusations, and manipulative behavior. Remember, it should be the two of you against the problem, not the two of you against each other.
Why guys don’t call when they like you, but they do text…
What does it mean when guys don’t call you, but they do text? He sends you good morning and good night texts, checks in during the day just to see how you’re doing, and even sends an occasional sticker or two.
He sounds perfect! Except, he never calls you.
Believe it or not, you’re not the only girl with this problem. Some guys prefer texting over calling, so keep reading if you want to find out why.
1. He simply doesn’t like talking on the phone
Some people hate talking on the phone, and I can relate! There’s something nerve-racking about talking to a person without seeing their facial expressions.
You have nothing to worry about if he avoids calling you at all costs, but doesn’t have an issue with texting you throughout the day. If you’ve ever talked to him over the phone, try to remember how that conversation went.
Was he nervously stumbling over his words? Did he finish the conversation before it even started? Chances are, he finds talking on the phone difficult and prefers texting to avoid embarrassment.
There’s nothing wrong with texting, and you should try to respect his wishes. However, if he feels the same way about face-to-face conversations, you might want to have a serious talk with him. Texting can’t be the only way of communication if you want to be in a serious relationship!
2. He thinks texting is more practical
“Why guys don’t call when they like you? Am I asking for too much?”
Nobody can argue with the fact that texting is one of the most practical forms of communication. You only need a couple of minutes (sometimes even seconds) to send a text, and if you receive one at an inconvenient time you can always respond later. You can’t do that with a call!
Some guys prefer texting because it gives them more time to gather their thoughts and write an appropriate reply. He can avoid awkward silences and the pressure to keep the conversation going.
It’s no secret most guys don’t like making small talk. He probably wants to avoid long conversations about the weather, and talk about what really matters to him. Plus, it’s much easier to arrange the next date over text!
3. He prefers talking face-to-face
Let’s face it – nothing can replace spending quality time in person with somebody you like. When a guy doesn’t like talking on the phone or texting you all the time, he most likely prefers seeing you face-to-face.
He might be too busy to sit down and have a long conversation over the phone, and it’s much easier for him to send you a simple text asking when he can see you. Face-to-face conversations are always more intimate, meaningful, and enjoyable for both sides.
It’s also possible he simply enjoys doing things with you rather than having a phone conversation. If he’s making an effort to be present in your life, you have nothing to worry about. You can always give him a quick call if you want to hear his voice, or ask about his day. But it’s best to respect his wishes!
Is it the end of the world when a guy doesn’t call you?
To answer the question – no, it isn’t. I can understand why you’re upset and trying to find reasons and excuses for his behavior. Trust me, when a guy likes you, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you. A simple conversation with him should solve all your issues.
On the off chance that he’s not calling you because he’s no longer interested in you, there is no reason to continue wasting your time and energy on him. Use this opportunity to focus on your own needs, and work towards becoming the best version of yourself.
You should never allow yourself to cry over somebody who doesn’t even make an effort to call you back. He is showing his value and maturity through his actions, and if he can’t be man enough to let you down gently, he doesn’t deserve your attention.
It isn’t the end of the world! There’s somebody out there patiently waiting for you to give him a chance. You certainly don’t want to waste your time overthinking why some irrelevant guy hasn’t called you.
Once you meet the right one, you’ll be happy you kept yourself available!
