Think aloud
Ever felt like you’re playing a game of emotional chess with a narcissist and can’t quite figure out the rules? Well, you’re not alone! Narcissists are masters at manipulating words to fit their twisted narratives, leaving you wondering what the heck they really mean.
In this blog post, we’re about to crack the code on those baffling phrases they throw around. When narcissists say these 10 phrases, it’s not just empty chatter—it’s a calculated move in their game of self-glorification.
So, buckle up and get ready to decode their cryptic language, because they speak a whole different dialect of deception!
1. “You’re too emotional.”
Once you realize that a narcissist has hurt you, they often feel cornered. Since you’re aware of their actions and are holding them accountable, their typical escape is to shift the blame onto you.
They’ll label you as overly sensitive, claiming you take everything too seriously and that they meant no harm. They might even feign empathy by saying, “I know you’re a bit sensitive, but you can work on it step by step. Don’t worry, I understand.”
This shifts the focus from their behavior to your supposed flaw, making the issue about you while highlighting their supposed compassion.
2. “That didn’t happen.”
This is a classic example of gaslighting, where the person makes you doubt your perception of reality. The worst part is that, despite how certain you are of the truth, their words linger in your mind, planting seeds of doubt.
Narcissists may say or do terrible things but then dismiss these actions as figments of your imagination. They might accuse you of exaggerating or deny the incident ever occurred.
3. “You’re crazy.”
When you confront a narcissist about something they’ve done, you’ll never leave the room as the victor. They’re incapable of admitting fault, so they’ll find it easier to place the blame on you instead.
They may accuse you of being crazy and become as dramatic as possible, staging a performance to show how deeply they are hurt by you—essentially, by your acknowledgment of their fault.
4. “You never think of me.”
The essence of every narcissist is to play the victim when confronted. When you share your feelings about a situation, they seize the opportunity to accuse you of being inconsiderate and failing to consider how your words might hurt them.
Their goal is to make you feel guilty and activate your empathy, leading you to apologize to them instead of the other way around.
5. “You’ll regret it one day.”
This is another narcissistic tactic to make you feel like the bad guy. They emotionally abuse you, you confront them, and then they put on a dramatic act, claiming that your actions will forever haunt you.
You shouldn’t feel bad about reacting to an abnormal situation. In fact, it’s important to defend yourself and prioritize your well-being. They should be the ones regretting the severe pain they cause you daily. But narcissists are incapable of a redemption arc.
6. “You made me do it.”
Imagine this scenario: Your partner cheats on you, and you eventually discover it. Instead of apologizing, they respond with, “But you never paid any attention to me!”
This is an example of blame-shifting. Even if you could have given them more attention, it doesn’t excuse their choice to cheat. They could have been honest about their feelings or ended the relationship if they were unhappy. Their infidelity is not, and can never be, your fault.
7. “You can trust me.”
Narcissists are often very charismatic because they focus on maintaining a polished public image while neglecting their true inner self. This is why they might whisper sweet words to you, aiming to gain your trust so they can later use it as a tool for manipulation.
It can be difficult to distinguish truth from lies, especially in an environment where gaslighting is a constant form of communication. However, try to focus less on their words and pay more attention to their actions.
If their words and actions don’t align, and your intuition senses something is seriously wrong, trust your instincts.
8. “I never have a moment of peace.”
The true drama queens are narcissists, but their intentions are far more malicious. When you become aware of their abuse, they accuse you of causing chaos. They claim you disturb their peace, even though they are the ones who have hurt you.
You are simply reacting to a traumatic situation, but to keep you under control and silent, they try to convince you that you’re constantly bringing them down—when, in fact, the reverse is true.
9. “What about that time…”
This is another effective manipulative tactic used by narcissists. When you blame them, instead of admitting guilt or even acknowledging their role, they divert the conversation to a completely new issue.
Let’s imagine a scenario: You’re excited about a new job offer, but the narcissist undermines your confidence by calling you incapable and insisting that you could never have a bright future on your own.
But when you confront them about their remarks, they dismiss your concerns and redirect the focus to a past incident, saying, “But what about that time you called me a hypocrite?”
By doing this, they aim to shift the focus onto you justifying your behavior rather than addressing their own. This tactic evokes guilt and diminishes the impact of their recent words.
10. “Nobody else would put up with this.”
By using this tactic, the narcissist plays the role of a martyr, trying to gaslight you into believing you’re a horrible person no one could ever be with. They imply that they’re staying by your side, making you think they truly love you despite everything.
But that’s not the case. When someone truly cares about you, they validate your feelings and make an effort to correct their mistakes. They reassure you that you are worthy of love and that anyone would be lucky to have you. Anything less is just manipulation.
And there you have it—narcissistic jargon decoded! Next time you hear one of these 10 phrases, you’ll know exactly what’s lurking beneath the surface of their smarmy smile. Armed with this knowledge, you’ll navigate their mind games like a pro and keep your sanity intact!
