The worst-case scenario – Suddenly, he pulls away from you, and the only thing you can do is let go of him.
It doesn’t look like a dream come true, but unfortunately, it happens all the time.
It’s as if most men come to the point where a relationship becomes too stressful and they don’t know what to do next.
It puts too much pressure on them so they slowly start to pull away.
And when this happens, you feel as if it’s the end of the world. And you break into pieces.
You never thought that one day, you’d have to let go of the man you love so dearly, that he’d pull away from you and crush all of your dreams in one move.
And it’s understandable why you feel that way.
You’ve planned your life with this person and now when you look at him, you realize that his feelings have changed.
Things aren’t the way they used to be, and you have no idea what to do.
How do you even treat a man who starts pulling away from a relationship? They never taught us that in school!
They gave us lessons on how amazing love feels and how painful heartbreak is, but they never mentioned the agony of standing in front of someone you love and following his gaze as he slowly pulls away from you.
He used to call you all the time, and now it’s been two days and you haven’t heard from him.
You text him to see how he’s doing, and it takes him an eternity to reply.
He no longer initiates date nights even though you never skipped them before.
You just feel it in your bones.
He’s pulling away from you and you have no idea how to react.
Is there anything you can even do to help yourself in this situation?
Is there a way to bring him back and make him remember how much fun the two of you used to have?
This might surprise you, but when he pulls away, you need to let him go.
Sounds like an impossibility, but if you keep pressuring him to return to you and be his old self, you’ll end up with the very thing you’ve been trying to avoid: He’ll disappear completely.
That’s why the best thing to do is to actually let him go. You’ll have to take some other steps too, but we’ll talk about them later.
First, I want you to know why men pull away in the first place. What makes them stop out of the blue and take a step back?
Why is he pulling away from you?
Even though you might think that a man pulls away only if he doesn’t love you anymore, there are actually many different reasons for it.
Men usually put a big price on their own space and the second they feel that someone’s entered it, they get scared.
They don’t know how to react, so they slowly start pulling away.
They want to be sure that they want to have you around, so they need to thoroughly analyze the situation.
But what makes them do that? Something has to happen in order to trigger their behavior, right?
Let’s find out!
1. He pulls away because he wants to explore his interests
We all have something that’s our passion. Something that keeps us going and renews our energy every time we do it.
And it’s completely normal. You need to have your own interests apart from the relationship.
But sometimes you can give yourself so fully to your hobby or interest that you forget about everything else. You simply forget the world outside of it.
This may be the case with your man.
Maybe he’s been too committed to something he’s been doing as a hobby. Let’s say that he plays some kind of a sport or instrument.
Lately, he’s been practicing more than ever, and it feels that he simply forgot that you exist.
He has been so focused on his interest that he ignores everything and everyone outside of it.
He’s simply been drawn into something that he’s always been doing, so he’s started to ignore you.
But the good thing is that this doesn’t last forever. And as long as you know how to treat him while he’s doing his thing, you’re golden.
You have strong chances of getting things back to the way they used to be.
2. He pulls away because he doesn’t feel the spark between the two of you
Many men decide to give a relationship a try even though they don’t feel the initial spark.
They want to see if you’ll make them feel things they’ve never felt before.
But once they realize that a relationship doesn’t make them feel the way they want, they’ll start to pull away from you.
If the spark doesn’t appear somewhere down the road, a man thinks that there’s no point in giving his time to something that doesn’t make him happy.
This may sound harsh, but it’s the way most humans work.
We give something a chance thinking that our initial feelings will change. Then, when nothing happens, we pull away and move on with our lives.
3. He pulls away because he wants to slow things down
Sometimes, things move too fast and you simply have to do something about it.
If this is the case with your relationship, chances are your man will start pulling away. It’s his way of saying, “Things are moving too fast and I’m not ready for it.”
The relationship needs brakes, that’s exactly what he’s pressing.
He’s slowing things down in order to give the two of you a bit more time to think about things.
What do you want from the relationship? How genuine are your feelings? Are you fine with the current pace of the relationship?
Your man wants you to be sure that you’re taking the right path and that in a few month’s time you won’t be regretting your decision.
That’s why he’s decided to pull away – to be clear in his intentions.
4. He pulls away because he feels pressured
One of the most obvious reasons why men pull away is because they feel pressured in a relationship.
He feels that he needs to act a certain way and he has no idea if he can make that happen. It’s too much, and it brings him to the breaking point.
Maybe you’re mentioning moving in together or talking about your future wedding, while your man feels enormous pressure to do something he’s not ready for.
He’s been listening to you and it all seems too much for him.
Million of questions start to pop up in his head.
“Can I do it? Isn’t it too early for that? Am I the commitment type? Am I here for the long run?”
This pressurizes him and the only thing he feels is the need to run away as far as possible.
Now, he could pull away from you for as long as it takes him to realize what he actually wants, or he can disappear forever as he’s not ready for the next step.
It all comes to how ready he is to deal with the pressure.
And only time can show you that, because the second you ask him about his decision, you’re putting even more pressure on him.
5. He pulls away because he feels controlled
This doesn’t mean that you’re being controlling and you’re guiding every step he takes.
Instead, it simply means that your man feels that he’s losing the control he used to have.
Maybe he was the one who planned all those cute date-nights for the two of you and now that you’ve taken the lead, he feels lost.
Or you keep criticizing him every time he does something the way he wants.
It all makes him feel that you’re the one who’s in control.
And we all know what men want. They have a need to be the decision-makers.
You could give him the illusion that he was the one who had the last word and he’d be happy.
So, when he finds himself in a situation where he feels that he has lost control, he freaks out and starts to pull away.
He needs his sense of independence back and that’s what he’s trying to regain by pulling away from you.
6. He pulls away because he’s thinking of taking the next step in a relationship
A man can also pull away if he’s working out the next step in a relationship.
Maybe he wants to make things more serious, but he needs to be sure of his decision.
That’s why he pulls away and gives himself some time to think.
He doesn’t want to pull the both of you into something he isn’t certain about. He needs to make sure that it’s exactly what he wants.
This may take some time but at least you’re sure that he’s planning serious things with you, and it’s always nice to know that.
7. He pulls away because he still has feelings for his ex
I know, this one doesn’t seem nice to hear. But unfortunately, it’s one of the possibilities.
If you notice that your man still has feelings for his ex, or he occasionally mentions her name and then shuts down, that may be why he’s pulling away.
He likes you but there are emotions inside of him that stop him from committing to you.
He still has feelings for someone else and until he sorts them out, he won’t be able to be fully yours.
So, he decides that the best thing is to pull away from you in order to understand what he actually wants.
Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but from this point of view, it looks as he’s taking it that way.
That’s why he wants to press pause and think about the best possible step to take.
Now that we know why men pull away, I’d like to tell you a bit more on how you should let him go if you find yourself in a similar situation.
I know that it looks wrong to let go of someone you like (or love) just because they decided to pull away from you, but you’ll have to trust the process.
Step by step, you’ll find yourself where you want to be!
How to let him go when he pulls away from you
Letting go probably doesn’t seem like the best step to take, but if you decided to reach out to him now, you’d only succeed in making him pull away even further.
That’s why you need to know the best thing to do in a situation like this. And I’m here to help you with that.
We’ll look into steps you should take to help you let go of him when he’s pulling away.
Trust me, this takes power back in your hands and helps you get what you want.
1. Don’t panic!
Once you realize that your man is pulling away from you, the first thing you need to do is make sure that you aren’t panicking. Trust me, it doesn’t help!
If you start to panic, you’ll also start doing things that won’t be of great help.
You’ll probably try to convince him to change his mind, which will then make him run away from you even faster than you expected.
Just because he’s pulling away, it doesn’t immediately mean that your relationship will fall apart.
It simply means that he needs some time and space to think.
He needs to figure out the right step to take.
So, the moment you start pressuring him to change his decision, know that you’ll only make him more persistent in it.
Take a break and don’t let yourself do something you’ll later regret.
He needs some time to think about your relationship, and if you want to save it, then you need to let him think.
2. Give him the space he needs
If he pulls away from you and you decide to let him go and reconsider his opinion, you need to be persistent in that decision.
He now needs space more than ever and you need to give him that.
If you don’t let him think about it on his own, you stand high chances of losing him and that’s not what you want.
Sometimes, men need some space in order to understand what they want from life.
They need space to be sure that you’re the exact person they want to grow old with.
And even though it sounds contradictory, when you’re not around him, you give him time and space to realize that he misses you.
You give him a chance to realize that he wants you around.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder – use that to your advantage.
This can easily make him realize that he doesn’t want a life that doesn’t include you in it.
After feeling how bad it is to be without you, he’ll find his way back to you, and forget he ever needed to pull away from you in the first place.
3. In the meantime, focus on yourself
While your man is reconsidering his options, take the time to focus on yourself.
It can be hard to know that the person you love decided to pull away from you.
It can make you feel that it’s your responsibility and that you did something wrong.
That’s why you need to remember that you have nothing to do with your man’s decision to pull away.
It all came from within him, and you can’t change his feelings.
But there’s one thing you can do and that’s to focus on yourself.
Remember that you need to love yourself first in order for others to love you.
And maybe this is your sign from God that it’s time to work on your self-love skills.
By improving yourself and learning something new, you’re giving yourself a chance to be a better person.
You’re giving yourself the opportunity to change and become a better version of yourself, which can directly affect your chances with your man.
So, you’ll learn to love yourself more and be your own priority, while also showing your man that you’re able to improve as a person.
This can make him realize that he wants you around.
And even if he decides that the two of you aren’t a great match, you’ll know your value and that it’s his loss.
Why should you grieve over fallen love when you know how much you’re capable of?
4. Avoid checking up on his social media
When he pulls away from you and you decide to give him some time, it can be tempting to check up on him, just to see how he’s doing without you.
But if you take this road, you’re willingly making a decision to go down the unhealthy path.
Having no contact with a person who means a lot to you can feel like the hardest step you have to take in your life.
You used to share every step of the way with this person, and now that they’re gone, you feel lost.
Everything reminds you of them and you feel the constant temptation to contact them and see how they’re doing.
But because you know that you should give them space, you reckon the better way is to stalk their social media accounts.
This would give you a good picture of how they’re doing without you, right?
But this can bring you more harm than good.
You’ll probably be expecting that your man is grieving, posting sad photos and posts as the two of you have taken a step back.
So, the moment you see posts like this are nowhere to be found, you’ll feel sad and think that he’s doing fine without you.
You’ll convince yourself that he doesn’t need you and that’s where the trouble starts.
So, to save yourself from this, stop typing in his name in the search bar and scrolling through his profile.
Even if he’s having a good time without you, there’s nothing you can change about it.
You’ll only make yourself feel bad that he’s moved on and that’s the last thing you need right now.
So, stop stalking him. And if it’ll make you feel better, mute his posts so they don’t come up on your feed.
Trust me, it helps to take your mind off him.
5. Accept his reasons
It’s possible that after some time of being apart, the two of you will want to have a conversation about where you’re supposed to go from here.
But before you sit down to have a chat, you need to know that you should accept his reasons.
They might differ from your belief, but everyone has a right to an opinion.
Let him be honest about his reasons and what he wants to do next.
Only after that should you share your part of the story and your idea of how to deal with the situation.
By shutting him down and acting as if he’s wrong, you’re only making him frustrated that he even has to talk to you.
Even if he wanted to try to work things out with you, he’ll now change his mind completely.
6. Know how much you’re willing to take
When he pulls away from you and you let him go, you’re paving a road for him to get back to you.
But once that happens, things might change. He might expect something from you that wasn’t part of the original plan.
That’s why you need to know how much you’re willing to take.
If he gives you the option to be in an open relationship, would you accept that?
Or if he mentions that the two of you should only be friends, could you agree to that?
Or maybe he still hasn’t called you and asked if the two of you could talk. How long are you willing to wait?
It’s all up to you and what you can accept.
At the end of the day, we’re talking about your life, which means that you’re the one who calls the shots in it.
You know what you can take and what’s best for you, so you should act that way.
Never let a man make decisions for you. If you aren’t happy with something, raise your voice.
If he respects you, he’ll appreciate you as a person and show you that he cares about you.
When there’s no respect, once he pulls away, he won’t even bother giving you an explanation why. He’ll simply disappear from your life.
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