Think aloud
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, you’re left wondering what just happened. What made him end things all of a sudden, without any explanation?
As you were slowly getting to know each other, there were no red flags. Your new relationship was progressing and the connection you initially felt was only getting stronger.
But it all ended up being in vain, as one day you woke up and there was a text message waiting for you.
“I’m sorry but I don’t think I can do this anymore. It’s not your fault, so please don’t blame yourself for it.”
After this, you probably called him but the chances are that he didn’t pick up. You were unable to get in touch with him and just like that, you became an ex-girlfriend, even though you have no idea why.
It’s not the first time you’ve gone through a heartbreak but this time, it all feels a bit different as you have no idea of the reason why such a good relationship suddenly came to an end.
At the end of the day, he could at least have met you face-to-face to talk and that way, you would have got some kind of closure. This way, you’ll keep asking yourself a ton of questions and you probably won’t have answers to any of them.
What just happened? Why did this man abruptly end a relationship with me?
Did I do something wrong? How did it all happen so fast and unexpectedly?
There are many things you want to know the answer to and one by one, I’ll try to explain what just happened.
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, there are at least 7 possible reasons why
There must be a reason why he left you all of a sudden.
Last week, you were perfectly happy and you finally felt like you’d made the right choice. You felt like he could potentially be your soulmate as things felt easy with him.
Today, you’ve given him the new nickname of ‘ex-boyfriend’ and the idea that your whole relationship fell apart in a matter of hours makes you feel an extreme amount of emotional pain.
The end of a relationship doesn’t come easy to anyone. It often feels like someone stabbed you directly in the heart and you struggle to breathe but it’s especially hard when you don’t know the reason for the break-up.
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, why does he do that? Well, here are some of the likely explanations.
1. He realized that you were incompatible as a couple
It could be that your ex-significant other realized that you were incompatible. He may have started to feel like the two of you weren’t made for each other and he didn’t want to waste his time.
Throughout his previous relationships, it became obvious to him that true love shouldn’t be forced. And maybe he felt like he was pressuring himself to fall for you even though he knew deep down that you weren’t meant to be.
I know that these words are not something you want to hear right now but this could really be the reason why your romantic relationship fell apart all of a sudden.
If this is the case, then you have nothing to be sad about. Eventually, your relationship would have probably got to this point anyway, as a break-up is inevitable when the universe doesn’t want you to stay together.
Maybe he saved you a lot of unnecessary pain by ending things early. Perhaps this is your blessing in disguise but I know that it’ll take you some time before you realize that.
2. He had unrealistic expectations about you
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, it could be because he realized that you’re not the person he fell in love with.
He may have created a completely different picture of you in his head. Maybe he didn’t want to be alone and he needed someone’s company or perhaps he wanted to be with someone like you but eventually realized you weren’t his type.
The options are endless but what matters most is that you didn’t suit the unrealistic expectations he made about you. Don’t blame yourself right now or think that you’re a bad person.
You had nothing to do with the fact that he painted you differently in his head. The blame is completely on him as he tried to see you as someone you’re not.
But once again, maybe it’s good that things ended between the two of you before you developed even stronger feelings for him. If he didn’t like you from the start, then you shouldn’t expect him to like you later on.
And even though it’s never easy to experience the pain of a broken heart, maybe it was all meant to be this way.
3. He was afraid of commitment
When a man realizes that he’s getting a step closer to a more serious relationship, he can freak out. He starts panicking as he’s trying to cope with the fact that he may spend the rest of his life with the same person.
If your guy has commitment issues and has never been in a long-term relationship, then this may be the reason why he abruptly ended things, without an explanation.
In his eyes, commitment means lack of freedom and that’s not something he can live with. He doesn’t feel ready to take that step so that’s why he decided to walk away before it was too late.
Of course, it would have been a much better choice if he had shared his concerns with you and maybe even asked for a break to figure out what he wanted to do next.
But this way, he didn’t give himself a chance to keep you in his life as the fear of commitment overtook him. And that’s why it all played the way it did, suddenly and unexpectedly.
4. He was scared that he wouldn’t be good enough for you
This is a stretch but it’s still a possibility. When a man abruptly ends a relationship, it may be because he’s afraid that won’t be good enough for you.
If you noticed any signs of insecure behavior in him, then this could be why he left you all of a sudden. His self-esteem is obviously low and he feels the need to put himself down in every aspect of his life, including his romantic relationship.
He probably went over this decision many times before finally committing to it. He then overthought every detail and made himself believe that he wasn’t good enough for you.
In his head, he had already convinced himself that you would leave him as soon as you met someone better. That’s why he didn’t want to get more attached because then the whole break-up thing would hurt even more.
He decided to walk away from you, as in all his past relationships, he was always the one who got dumped. Afraid of going through the same experience once again, he broke up with you, thinking that he was only rushing the inevitable.
5. He was afraid of being vulnerable
In every healthy relationship, there comes a point where a couple shows their real faces. It’s that moment where they no longer pretend that everything’s okay and instead where they express their real emotions.
We’re all human, which makes us vulnerable and sensitive. It doesn’t really matter whether you’re a woman or a man, we all have those moments where we feel like crying our heart out as we can’t tolerate the pain anymore.
If your relationship was slowly getting to that stage where you were expected to be vulnerable around one another and share some parts of you that the other person didn’t yet know about, then maybe your ex got scared of that.
The idea of opening up to you didn’t make him feel comfortable and as a result, he ran away from you. Instinctively, as he was trying to save himself from something he didn’t feel like doing, he made the decision to leave you and never see you again.
And since it would be too hard to explain the reason why he was breaking up with you, he ended the relationship abruptly, without any warning.
6. He had his eyes set on some other girl
One day, it all seems fine and the next, he’s out of your life completely. And while you’re wondering what went wrong and why he left you all of a sudden, he’s already dating someone else.
In this case, when a man abruptly ends a relationship, the reason is that he already had his eyes on some other girl. Maybe he’s trying to win his ex back or he met some new girl through social media.
It doesn’t really matter who we’re talking about as the point always stays the same. He fell for someone else which made him leave you without an explanation.
He knew that staying in a relationship with you wouldn’t have made him happy, which is why he decided to end things for the sake of his happiness.
Once again, telling you why he was leaving you while looking you in the eyes would have been too hard. That’s why he probably decided to text or call and he probably gave you the usual, “It’s not you, it’s me,” excuse.
He may have even gone with the, “You deserve better,” line.
In this case, what hurts the most is when you see him dating someone else days or weeks after the break-up. While you’re still having a hard time figuring out what recently happened, he already moved on, as if the two of you were never a thing.
7. The spark was gone
Many people have unrealistic expectations about relationships. They simply believe that once you meet the right person, everything will be perfect.
They think that you’ll always feel drawn to each other and that the relationship will always feel the same way as it felt at the very beginning. So, the moment the spark is gone, people start thinking that something must be wrong and it’s time to end things before it all gets even worse.
They don’t even bother fixing the issues or trying to reignite the flame. They simply assume that things should be perfect and if they’re not then it’s not real love.
Even though this is the completely wrong attitude when it comes to relationships, it could still be the reason why a man abruptly ends things with you. He assumes that it all must feel perfect but he doesn’t realize that love isn’t a fairy tale and you can’t expect perfection from two imperfect people living in an imperfect world.
It truly doesn’t make any sense.
How can you find closure and move on when a man abruptly ends a relationship?
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, at first, you don’t really know how to move on. It becomes obvious that the healing process will take a long time, since you haven’t gotten the closure you need.
That chapter of your life is over but that one last page of it is still missing. So, how do you find it?
Do you write it by yourself or do you ask him to provide you with the answers that will finally allow you to move on? Here’s what you can do when you’re trying to get over a guy who never gave you an explanation as to why he was leaving you.
1. Know that his inability to explain himself has nothing to do with you
First of all, you shouldn’t blame yourself for the fact that he wasn’t capable of giving you an explanation as to why he was leaving you. You have nothing to do with that as the entire blame is on him.
He’s an adult and he should’ve known better at how to act in situations such as this one. He had the right to leave you if he felt that the relationship wasn’t making him happy anymore but he also should’ve explained himself to you so you knew what was going on.
This way, he only proved to you that he’s immature and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Stop blaming yourself, as no matter what you had done differently, he would still have left you the same way, without giving you an explanation.
2. Express your feelings
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, you fall into a state of shock. You can’t really figure out what just happened and how you move on from there.
All of your emotions overtake you and it starts to feel hard to breathe. And even though it feels like there’s no way out, you mustn’t give up right now.
The feelings you feel are all a part of the healing process and you must express them whatever way you like.
Write down what’s bothering you, talk to a friend or a close family member, or express your emotions through a hobby of yours. Do whatever makes you feel better and allows you to free yourself from the pain that is bottled up inside of you.
You couldn’t have made the relationship work, no matter how hard you tried. But that doesn’t mean that things won’t get better and that you won’t ever be free of the pain.
The moment you give yourself a chance to express what you feel, you’ll realize that the healing process has begun.
3. Give yourself enough time to process everything
This isn’t the time to pressure yourself to move on and pretend like you’re okay. This is the time to process everything carefully and to allow yourself to grieve for however long you need.
When a man abruptly ends a relationship and doesn’t explain why he’s leaving you, it all tends to feel like you’re in some sort of dream. It can take a while before you realize that this is your new reality and that you must learn how to deal with it.
That’s why you must give yourself enough time to process everything correctly. You need to allow yourself to heal properly and move on.
If you don’t do that, you’ll never let go the right way and there will always be something that’s holding you back. But if you take your time and go through all of your emotions step by step, it will be easier to get to the place that you’re destined to reach.
4. Keep in mind that you can get closure on your own, without his help
Maybe you’re thinking right now that you won’t ever be able to get closure without the help of your ex. Perhaps you feel like he’s the only one who can help you move on.
But you don’t realize that you’re the only person who’s responsible for the healing process. You know what you want from life, you’re aware of what’s good for you, and that’s why you can find closure on your own.
Analyze what went wrong, figure out how you don’t want to be treated in your next relationship, and move on from there. End that chapter of your life without waiting for him to give you a hand.
Let’s be real, if he wasn’t able to explain why he was leaving you, he certainly won’t be able to help you move on either. That’s exactly why you shouldn’t put your destiny in his hands and wait for him to help you heal.
You’re more than capable of doing that on your own, without his assistance.
5. Surround yourself with people who love you
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, you probably start to feel like you’re not worthy of love. You begin to think that if you weren’t good enough for him, you won’t be for anyone else.
That’s why you need to surround yourself with people who believe in you, who love you the most, and who’ll be your biggest support throughout the following days.
They will keep reminding you of how amazing you are until you’re able to figure that on your own. Let them be there for you and don’t try to push them away.
We can’t always be strong and sometimes we need others to help us get through the hard times. The bare idea that you have people you can count on will make the process much easier to go through.
6. Get rid of any negative thoughts
At first, it won’t be easy to stay away from negative thoughts. “It must be my fault.”
“I will never be good enough for anyone.” “If only I had done things differently, he would still be with me.”
These negative sayings that blame you for the break-up must end. The sooner you stop thinking this way, the easier it’ll be to move on and heal.
You have nothing to do with the fact that this man decided to suddenly end the relationship with you. It was his decision from the start and even if you had acted completely differently, he would still have done the same.
Replace your negative mindset with a positive one and allow yourself to heal. You deserve to feel happy but right now, you’re the one who’s making it impossible.
7. Start meeting new guys whenever you feel ready
This relationship didn’t work out in your favor but that doesn’t mean that you should stop dating completely. You have every right to meet other guys and you can do that the moment you feel ready.
Don’t rush things and listen to your heart. Once you feel that it has healed properly, then give yourself a chance to look for real love, one that will make all of the pain of your previous break-ups go away.
8. Take care of yourself and your mental health
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. You focus on the pain too much and you forget that you’re a person who deserves to be treated the right way.
And if you can’t do that for yourself, then how do you expect others to do that?
So, this is your chance to make yourself a priority. It’s your chance to shower yourself with all of the love you deserve because that’s the best way to move on.
Heal yourself with all of the love you carry within your heart and don’t allow this break-up to destroy you forever. If it had been meant to be, you would still be together.
So, wait for the opportunities that are getting closer to you and until then, enjoy your single life and fill it with happiness.
