After the breakup, your friends kept convincing you that you should look for a rebound, someone who would get you out of the suffering slump. So, you did exactly what they said and right now, you’re experiencing another breakup. What happens when a rebound relationship ends? Does it hurt the same way?
Relationships can get messy, especially when you’re trying to use them as a way of salvation. You only decided to look for a rebound because you assumed that was your fastest way to healing. But in the end, things didn’t go as planned.
So, here you are. Drowning your sorrows in an infinite amount of ice cream and binge-watching Friends as if your life depended on it. Where do you go from here? Is this pain ever going to end? Will you ever find someone who’ll truly love you?
What happens when a rebound relationship ends?
Some people believe that rebound relationships are like magical wands. They help you move on after your ex and allow you to forget about all of the post-breakup pain you’re dealing with. Well, if this were true then we would all turn to rebounds instead of giving ourselves enough time to grieve.
I know you were desperate after your breakup. You were ready to do whatever it took if it meant that you would forget about your ex quickly. And the idea of finding a rebound made sense at the time.
However, right now you have a bad feeling that you made a serious mistake. Your rebound relationship either ended or it’s near its end. The only thing you want to know right now is what will happen once it’s officially over. What will happen to you once you experience a second round of a breakup?
1. You’ll still deal with all those unresolved feelings
When your long-term relationship ended, you didn’t give yourself enough time to process everything you were feeling. You hid your emotions somewhere in the deepest parts of your soul and pretended like everything was okay.
You then assumed that replacing your ex with someone else was a fast way to recovery so you went down that road, thinking you were doing yourself a favor. But once your rebound relationship ends, you’ll realize that things are never as easy as we want them to be.
After another breakup, you’ll have to deal with all those unresolved feelings which you pretended didn’t exist. They will hit you hard and fast, and for a few moments, you won’t have any idea what’s going on.
You truly thought that you were fine but your heart never felt that way. It wants you to process every single emotion you tried to hide and it won’t leave you alone until you do it.
At this point, the best you can do is to take things easy. Don’t even think of rushing into another relationship. Right now, you need some time to fully understand everything you’ve been through. You need to take a break for the sake of your well-being.
2. You’ll feel as if you’re not worthy of love
After two failed relationships in a row, you’ll start to feel as if no one wants to be with you. Your body has been through so much pain that your brain is now trying to convince you that you’re not worthy of love.
Heartbreaks can take a serious toll on our confidence. So, the more of them you go through in a certain period of time, the worse you feel about yourself.
When you start to believe that you’ll never find love again, the best thing you can do is to keep reminding yourself that you’re not defined by your relationships. Your self-worth doesn’t stem from whether you’re single or taken.
And even though you feel better when you have someone to hold, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad and unwanted person just because you’re alone.
Stick this note onto your mirror and let it become your mantra. Trust me, you’ll get out of this; you just need to be patient with yourself.
3. You’ll feel emotionally drained
Going through a breakup (or in this case, multiple breakups) can make you feel as if your emotions are all over the place. Since you haven’t given yourself enough time to heal, you’re unable to process your feelings.
All of a sudden, it feels as though there’s nothing left inside you. You’re not happy or sad; you’re not angry or calm. You just feel empty and drained.
The reason why this happens is that you’ve been through a lot in a short period of time. You’ve experienced ups and downs but you haven’t given yourself time to process any of the emotions you felt.
You’re so used to hiding your feelings from yourself and not accepting the truth that your body now doesn’t know how to react. So just be aware that it can take some time before you’re ready to admit everything you’ve been through.
It won’t be an easy process but it’s one of the first steps you have to take if you want to heal properly.
4. You won’t know what to do next
When a rebound relationship ends, you’ll probably start wondering what should you do next. Do you get into another relationship? Do you reach out to your ex?
At this point, you’re so used to having someone around that being single feels wrong on so many levels. You don’t know how to be alone and where to go from there.
The best thing you can do is again, to take some time and think about everything that happened to you in the past couple of months. You need to accept the truth and stop hiding from it. If you don’t do that, you’ll never mend your broken heart.
Look at things this way. Okay, so you tried rushing into another relationship right after you broke up with your previous boyfriend. You pretended to be okay thinking you could convince yourself to believe in that. But in the end, you realized that things weren’t the way you wanted them to be.
Now that you have one more breakup behind you, the best thing you can do for yourself is to grieve all of the pain you’re feeling properly. This time, don’t take the fast lane but rather choose to give yourself all the time and space you need.
Trust me, your future self will thank you for it.
5. You’ll feel tempted to go back to your ex
Your rebound relationship has ended, and all of a sudden, you’re reminiscing about your ex. Since you never truly got over him, you’re now thinking of all those nice moments you shared together.
You’re focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship, completely ignoring all the reasons that contributed to the two of you breaking up in the first place.
It doesn’t matter if he left you, you left him, or if he cheated on you, or if there were tons of little things that accumulated and made you realize that you were not a match. The truth is that your relationship wasn’t making you happy and it had to come to an end.
I know that you feel tempted to reach out to him and ask him to grab a coffee. You want to remind him of all of the sweet moments you shared together. But if you do that, you’ll only take a step back on your way to recovery and healing.
So, whenever you start thinking about him, look for a way to distract your thoughts. Find a new hobby, go out with your friends, or visit your favorite cousin. Do whatever it takes to prevent yourself from making a mistake and dialing his number.
This is not the right time to make rash decisions. First, allow yourself to finally heal after the breakup, and only then, if you realize that you and your ex happened in the wrong place at the wrong time, consider reaching out to him.
6. All of the accumulated pain will suddenly hit you
Once your rebound relationship ends, all of the accumulated pain will overflow you. After everything you’ve been through, your body no longer knows how to deal with all of the hidden emotions. It no longer has the strength to pretend like everything is okay.
That’s why you’ll suddenly start to feel the consequences of ignored feelings. You didn’t give yourself enough time to grieve and move on after your first ex but you rushed into another relationship, thinking it would be helpful. Now that’s over as well, you start to realize that this was all a trap.
We’re not robots and we can’t ignore our feelings. Pretending that we’re okay won’t get us anywhere and you’re living proof of that. You assumed that a rebound relationship would save you from the pain but it only made matters worse. It only made you more exposed and vulnerable.
That’s why you have to do the right thing for yourself. Right here and right now, allow yourself to accept everything you’ve been through. Experience the pain of heartbreak and let it shape you into a better person.
Hiding from your feelings is the biggest scam of your life. And at one point, you’re going to feel the consequences of it. Let the tears fall and allow them to heal your tormented soul.
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