Think aloud
What happens when a narcissist is ignored? What do narcissists do when you ignore them?
The truth about narcissists is that they can’t tolerate the fact that they are being ignored… no matter who the person is that’s ignoring them. The most common scenario is that the narcissist will act out and he’ll try anything in his power to get back the attention he craves.
Let’s face it, narcissists are people who need praise and attention by everyone but there’s a difference in their response when you are their love interest.
We first need to look at why ignoring a narcissist is a good idea in your situation.
Why do you want to ignore him? Is your goal to hurt him? If you’re in an abusive relationship with a narcissist who manipulates you, it’s understandable that you want to hurt him back.
You’ve had enough of all the lies, gaslighting, and other ways he has hurt you so you start to ignore him to have your revenge.
Are you seeking love and attention? All of us want love and praise, but don’t fool yourself that he’ll realize he’s wrong.
You might want him to apologize, but narcissists rarely do so and even when they do, they don’t really mean it.
Is he ignoring you, and you want to ignore him back? It makes you doubt your ego and yourself, and you don’t feel respected by him.
Will it really help if you ignore him back? Most likely not, because just like in the other situations, he’s better than you at hurting people.
He knows how to give the silent treatment no matter how much attention and love you crave from him.
Are you ignoring a narcissist because you broke up or because you want to leave him? If you have broken up with the narcissist in question, no contact is the way to go.
The point of all this is that you shouldn’t think that ignoring a narcissist will help change him. This shows that you still have some hope for that relationship and as long as you have hope, the narcissist will have his supply, so don’t do it for the wrong reason.
When you ignore a narcissist, do it because you no longer want to be his victim.
What happens when you ignore a narcissist? He might label you as inferior to him, and therefore he won’t think so much about the rejection. If it’s not possible for him to see you as inferior, he’ll want revenge.
Very often, narcissists treat people badly… and it’s just so they can prove to those people that they don’t consider them as important.
Their mind is different than ours, so they think differently. You are less interesting to them when they have your attention.
If you’re interesting enough to a narcissist, you’ll get his attention if you start ignoring him to take revenge. He’ll use a lot of tricks to get you to stop ignoring him, and if the two of you are in a relationship, what happens next will be the final outcome.
What if the supply he was getting from you isn’t important to the narcissist? He might simply ignore you.
Let’s get right to the point and see all the effects of ignoring a narcissist.
What do narcissists do when you ignore them? You’ll find out if you keep reading.
When a narcissist is ignored
1. He’ll pursue you harder
The thing about narcissists is that they can’t bear the thought of losing and that is why when a narcissist is ignored, he’ll pursue you even harder. His inflated ego is bruised by the thought of losing.
I know how hard it can be to resist such a man, so watch out and be extra careful at first. You don’t want him to lure you in with promises, gifts, charm, and compliments. Why? Well, because once he gets what he wants, in this case, you, it will all go away.
Remind yourself of his emotional coldness and the lack of interest he shows whenever you want to talk about any concerns you have.
A pathological narcissist will lead you on one path only if you get involved with him… and it’s a path to certain grief.
Just remember his lack of empathy and how his entitlement was out of control. What all narcissists have in common is their insensitivity to other people’s feelings.
Another important thing about them is that they don’t take rejection or criticism well and it actually causes them to counterattack with rage.
They are not the one who will apologize because even admitting that they were wrong is too hard for them.
Has a narcissist seduced you, and now you want to end things by ignoring him? Then brace yourself, because you’ll get a lot of nasty and angry texts from him.
Maybe he’ll block you because a narcissist doesn’t want to find out like the rest of us why he is being ignored. This is because your feelings don’t matter to him since it’s all about him.
The surest fact about narcissists is that they use others as a source for making themselves feel important, cherished, and loved.
When you ignore a narcissist and deny him that source, he could become enraged and that’s when he’ll try harder to get your attention, and the ways he’ll use will be abusive and toxic.
2. He will be mad because of his fragile ego
The narcissist’s ego seems large, but it’s only because he is pretending. As a matter of fact, the ego of a narcissist is very fragile.
He will feel humiliated, so he’ll lash out to protect himself. The truth about narcissists is that they don’t see the needs of other people… and don’t even care if they are exhausting someone, which can be dangerous for you if you are involved with him.
The best advice I can give you is to have no contact with the narcissist whatsoever. That means no meeting him in person and no texts, calls, or emails.
However, don’t get your hopes up that it will cause him to change. When a narcissist is ignored, he’ll move on and discover a new source… but the important thing is that you’ll finally be free.
If you were involved with a man who is a narcissist, the experience has surely caused you emotional damage and being in that sort of relationship can break your spirit.
You have to realize that you have been feeding him with the fuel he needs to be who he is – a narcissist.
Maybe you’ve tried to reason with him, like many of the victims of these abusers. You have hoped that by telling him how much he has hurt you, you’ll appeal to his conscience but don’t give yourself false hopes like that.
This is a deeply disturbed person, and he’ll keep extracting what he needs from you, his victim. In the process, he won’t care at all about the pain it’s causing you.
3. You’ll be free from abuse
If you’re in a relationship with a person who has this personality disorder, you need to break away from that narcissist. I know that it’s not always easy to ignore him, but it’s the only way for you to become free from further abuse.
What do narcissists do when you ignore them? When a narcissist is ignored, he’ll act out when he realizes that he’s been rejected… and he’ll do everything he can to reel you back in.
Since you provide him with food for his disorder then it’s up to you to stop feeding him.
He might ignore you back to get back in control. Be prepared that you’ll hear a lot of insults that will demean you or even damage your good reputation.
When a narcissist is ignored, he might start to threaten you. He can get violent or even stalk you. On the other hand, he could use tears and sweet talk to get your attention.
He won’t hesitate to use guilt to manipulate you. The answer to what happens when you ignore a narcissist could even be that he’ll threaten you with suicide.
Stay on the right path, and don’t engage with the narcissist in any way. Ignoring him must be something you’ll do indefinitely until he finally finds a new source, a new victim.
While you do that, make sure to work on the healing process that you must go through after being involved with such a person.
You must be prepared for his angry reactions since you’re the air he breathes. You’re a narcissistic supply, something he can’t live without.
4. He will react negatively
All narcissists are the same. They require constant endorsement, adoration, and sometimes even, blind obedience. So, when they don’t get your attention, they react negatively.
Such negative ways of reacting can include yelling, rage, and insults. Nariccists don’t care about your emotions and they might try to undermine you in every way they can.
What I mean is that you should be prepared for some comments on social media or among friends that will be passive-aggressive. He won’t hesitate to talk badly about you to others.
Still, there’s a bright side to all this. It’s that the narcissist will get frustrated in the long run and, even though he’ll cause you trouble, he’ll eventually find a new source.
When a narcissist is ignored, he’ll respond in all sorts of negative ways but in the long run, it will all pay off and you’ll finally be free again once he finds a new victim.
Be sure that narcissists don’t date partners, but victims. The sooner you realize you’re a victim, the better.
Ignore the narcissist for as long as it takes. Stick to your decision even when things get tough and eventually, he’ll find a new source of supply, and he’ll finally leave you alone.
You’ll once again get to experience a normal life without narcissistic abuse. Just don’t back down and don’t engage with the narcissist, no matter how tempting it gets.
5. He will try to manipulate you
Did you hear a lot of sweet talk from him when you started ignoring him? Did he make promises and tell you that he misses you like crazy?
When you ignore a narcissist, he’ll try to manipulate you the best he can. If he doesn’t succeed in sweet-talking, he’ll then change his tactic and go into a state known as ‘Narcissistic Fury’.
This means that he’ll be ready to manipulate, threaten, attack, or do whatever it takes to get you to engage again.
A narcissist doesn’t really care whether it’s negative or positive engagement, because he wins in either case. All that matters to him is that he gets what he wants, no matter what it takes.
Don’t let that fury get to you and stay strong. Maintain no contact, because this behavior must stop at some point.
‘Narcissistic Collapse’ is another term you should know, and it’s what happens when they don’t have another supply ready so they enter a state of withdrawal, a physiological one much like people who are detoxing from long-term drug abuse.
6. He’ll face the consequences and you will too
When a narcissist loses his narcissistic supply (the admiration that’s like a drug to him), he will feel betrayed, rejected, and lonely.
It will be a huge hit to his shallow self-esteem so he’ll be manipulative in order to get back the attention he used to gain from you.
He will praise, blame, lash out, punish, make false promises, pamper, blackmail, threaten, gaslight, lie, and love bomb you.
It’s a good idea that you try going into recovery from that narcissistic relationship and try to understand everything that has happened.
You’ll realize that your self-esteem is lower, but with time, you’ll feel more confident, free, and mature so you will get to enjoy your life again.
A known method of dealing with a narcissist is called Gray Rock. It encourages you to act just like a grey rock, which means that you should make your life seem motionless, static, and dull to the narcissist.
The whole point of all this is for them to get bored and start seeking attention elsewhere. For this method, it’s necessary that you have your own engagements, interests, and identity when dealing with him.
Whatever you do, don’t let a narcissist think that he’s the center of your universe. Know your worth, and it will help you realize that you’re wasting yourself on a narcissist… even if it means ignoring him.
You should be the center of your universe, and no one else deserves to have that place in your life. The sooner you realize that, the better.
7. It will lead to self-growth as well as self-worth
You can let people in and out of your life, but don’t ever make your life revolve around another person. As I said earlier, you should be the center of your world.
Understand that, because once you do, you’ll start focusing on yourself instead of focusing on ignoring him.
All you really need is to live your life and let him stay out of it, which is a lesson in self-worth and self-growth.
Just like most personality disorders, a narcissistic one has control as the primary motivator. A narcissist seeks attention and wants your world to revolve around him, which is why they perceive ignoring them as defiance of the control they need.
So, he’ll probably ignore you back at first… until he sees that it doesn’t work and then he’ll start using other tricks to get your attention unless a new supply appears in his life. In that case, he’ll move on and leave you alone.
The thing is, you don’t really matter to him. Only the narcissistic supply matters to narcissists.
8. He’ll try to trick you into coming back
I already said that a narcissist will use all sorts of manipulation tricks to get you back. Maybe he’ll act loving and tender, and even exhibit kindness and show respect.
If that doesn’t work, he’ll cry remorsefully and promise you that he’ll change but don’t fall into that trap.
If you don’t’, he’ll try more things. He will be charming just like when you first started dating, and he’ll act like the man you fell in love with. He will tell you about how much he has been missing you and remind you of the great memories you have together.
Don’t be surprised when he starts mentioning all the things he loves about you and he’ll use memories and places that evoke loving emotions in you.
You have to have enough self-respect and self-esteem in order to resist that charm. If you do, you’ll see him showing his true face.
He’ll drop the act and reveal himself as the angry toddler that he is and that is when it will get really harsh or even maybe violent.
That angry toddler maybe has the intelligence of an adult, but his emotional development is stunted. You need to start dating real men, not babies, you just first need to resist his attempts to get you back.
9. He will use nasty tricks
Since anger is an expected reaction from a narcissist who’s being ignored, he’ll use some nasty means to get you back.
Blackmail is just one of the tricks he will use so he could threaten to show others some pictures of you or threaten to reveal some of your secrets.
On the other hand, I already mentioned that a narcissist will try to charm you. He will tell you that you’re beautiful and talk about all the things he misses about you but keep in mind that it’s just a method to lure you back into a toxic relationship that you don’t want to be in.
I told you about blackmail, but do you know that he could even use emotional blackmail? This is when he says he can’t go on living without you. He is searching for your weak spot, so don’t let him find it!
He will ask you to take him back because he can’t live without you. The truth, however, is that he can’t live without his narcissistic supply, and you shouldn’t give it to him!
The scariest emotional blackmail he’ll try to use is threatening to hurt himself. That can be hard to deal with, but you must not let him win you back.
The biggest problem is that other people see narcissists as regular people because they don’t look different and they are even very often socially strong.
That strength is exactly what he’ll use when he starts spreading lies about you. He might even try to convince your loved ones that he’s the one who’s the victim.
He could also start accusing you and it will look like all of the problems in your relationship are your fault. Don’t let him make you believe that.
He will try to convince you that you made him do the bad things he did and another thing that could happen is for the narcissist to act like nothing happened. He’ll ask you what the big fuss is and ask you to grab some coffee with him.
This is dangerous because that mood is only temporary, and he’ll go back to his abusive behavior once you give in.
10. He’ll try to get your attention
There are some common ways a narcissist will try to get your attention. I’ll mention all of them, but firstly, I need to tell you again not to stop ignoring him.
He’ll use social media to contact you. Maybe he’ll just send you a message, but he might also post pictures of him having a great time without you.
So, he’ll try to make you jealous and want to come back, but resist the urge. All the things he posts are fake, so don’t buy into it.
He could also call and text to try to charm you and make you stop ignoring him.
Some narcissists start stalking their victims, so you should be aware of that. He wants to know what you’re doing without him, and you won’t feel safe.
If a narcissist is stalking you, don’t be afraid to call the police or get a restraining order if you have to.
Whatever you do, just keep ignoring the narcissist until he goes away, and you’ll be doing yourself a favor. Good luck!
