What does taking it slow mean to a guy? This is a question many girls want answers to since men and women don’t interpret taking relationships slowly the same way.
I know that you’re head over heels with this man. Maybe you even can’t wait for him to pop the big question and seal the deal.
So it must be frustrating hearing him say that your relationship is going faster than he’s used to. But in the end, you need to respect his wishes.
If multiple thoughts are going through your mind over this, believe me, you’re not alone. I understand that you feel admiration and appreciation for your guy telling you this because talking about sensitive subjects can feel absolutely nerve-wracking.
On the other hand, you may feel a bit of sadness creeping in. Your mind gets consumed with all these questions and it’s natural that you want answers.
What does taking it slow mean to a guy?
Is he hesitant about your relationship because you’ve done something wrong? Or did his feelings for you change for some reason?
You don’t need to worry if you find yourself tossing and turning over your new guy’s wish to take things slowly.
It’s understandable that your mind immediately thinks about the worst-case scenarios. However, many scientific papers have concluded that a man’s reluctance to move fast can actually be a good thing.
Today’s dating scene is quite chaotic and complex and sometimes it can feel as if real love doesn’t even exist. Many men play mind games and manipulate women into thinking they’re serious when they’re actually not.
So, that’s why it could be a blessing in disguise that your partner wants to take things slowly.
What does taking it slow mean to a guy?
Knowing when to pump the brakes in a relationship can prove to be beneficial for both of you.
Perhaps your partner has some past issues or wounds and he needs to let them heal before committing to you. In those times, it’s important to slow down a bit and give your partner some space.
That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to take some time apart. Instead, be there for him and support him in his wishes.
There are plenty of other meanings behind your partner wanting to take it slow. I’ll list some of them in this article.
1. He’s having some personal problems
Everyone knows that men like to keep things to themselves.
Rather than cooperating with their partner, they isolate themselves and try to solve their issues alone. So when one arises, it’s quite challenging and tough to cope with other areas of their life too.
So, what does taking it slow mean to a guy? Well, it could mean that he’s having some personal problems he needs to take care of and that’s why he wants to distance himself from you a bit.
He’s aware that he won’t be fully present in your relationship and as such, you won’t be satisfied at all. So, he takes some time off to sort out his affairs.
You play an important part in his life. After all, you’re his girlfriend whom he loves very much and he doesn’t want to leave you but he prefers to slow down your relationship until he gets back on track and can devote his entire attention to you.
Giving your man space when he’s going through something is vital because there’s little that you can do to help him. Once he sees that you respect his boundaries, he’ll appreciate you even more.
2. He prioritizes friendship first
You shouldn’t be surprised that many guys prefer to establish a reliable emotional connection with a woman before taking things further. Despite what many think, men are also human beings who have feelings and many would rather spend more time getting to know you than rush things and get hurt.
Perhaps your man values emotional intimacy over everything, so that’s why he could request that you take things slowly. For a man like this, having a strong connection and good communication is a must because he knows that they are pillars of a healthy relationship.
He has to be sure that you won’t run away when things get tough and instead work together with him to find the solutions to your problems. If the spark that the two of you share isn’t strong, there’s a possibility that your relationship won’t last as long as expected.
A mature man will ensure that you’re ready to go through thick and thin with him so that your relationship doesn’t end like his previous ones.
3. He wants to take his time
One of the more obvious reasons why a guy may suggest slowing things down a bit is to take his time with the relationship. When a man says that things are going a bit faster for him than usual, it merely means that he wants to take his time with you.
There are countless reasons why he would suggest that but none of them should prompt you to question his commitment. Sure, most men have commitment issues but you shouldn’t immediately think that he’s not ready for a relationship.
What does taking it slow mean to a guy? It can mean that he cares about you and doesn’t want to mess things up between you two.
He’s afraid to make a mistake that will scare you off and that you would leave him. Rushing things won’t get you closer to your goal.
What’s meant to be will happen and that’s why there’s no point in forcing him to commit to you. That’s something you should never do because it’ll only push him away.
4. He just got out of a draining relationship
Maybe your partner just got out of a messy relationship and protecting his feelings is his number one priority. For that particular reason, he may tell you to take things slowly and give him some time to think.
Most of us associate our exes and past relationships with heartbreak or betrayal, which is normal. A lot of couples cheat even though we don’t want to admit that to ourselves.
But sometimes the reason why you’re not ready to get into another relationship right away isn’t that you’re hurt or hung up on your ex but rather you’re just exhausted from the last relationship.
What’s interesting about many men is that if they’re drained, they’ll make sure that the relationship progresses on their terms, as they have no wish to jump right into another committed relationship. If that’s something that sounds familiar to you, then it could be one of his reasons.
5. He’s afraid of getting hurt
One of the most common reasons why a man will tell you to pump the brakes is because he’s afraid he may get hurt. Believe it or not, guys do that too – they want to protect their heart from breaking into a million pieces.
Perhaps your man has been through some pretty dark stuff emotionally in the past and believes that if you two keep going the same way you are that your relationship will end like his previous ones.
Perhaps he’s insisting on taking things slowly for now because of his past experiences that taught him that nothing great comes out of rushing things. He’s afraid to put himself in a vulnerable position and allow someone to possess the ability to break his heart again.
Maybe you’re just dating and you aren’t even in a proper relationship yet, so it could be that he caught feelings for you and now he’s wondering whether or not he should give you a real chance. Or maybe he thinks you’re too good to be true and the insecurity he feels forces him to slow down the pace.
6. He respects your boundaries
You can never know what’s going on inside his head. But sometimes a man can think that he’s being overly demanding with a woman and as a consequence of that, he wants to take things slowly.
Perhaps he assumes that he’s pushing you out of your comfort zone a bit too much and suggests taking a step back to let things flow naturally. By doing so, he’s reminding himself to be patient with his significant other – in this case, you.
He’ll think this action can only prove to be beneficial for your relationship and that you’ll both grow while feeling comfortable around each other. Therefore, his goal is to slow things down to help maintain harmony in your relationship.
The worst mistake you can make if you ever find yourself in a situation like this is to wonder whether he’s loyal to you or not. If he’s afraid he may lose you, that’s your proof of how willing he is to make it work.
You hit the jackpot if you recognize that this is the reason why he’s slowed things down. Be patient and let him figure this one out by himself.
7. He wants to make every date exciting
Some people may think that if they rush things, the initial spark may go away and they’ll kill the excitement. If the two of you spend a lot of time together and do activities together far too often, they may become routines that you’ll take for granted later on.
This could be the reason why your guy suggested taking a step back and slowing things down, in order to keep every date exciting and unique. A man like that will spend a great amount of his time planning a fantastic date night every weekend instead of going out with you every evening.
This prevents you and him from getting too accustomed to each other and your relationship won’t become boring. By holding off on some activities while dating, you can actually build the anticipation.
8. He’s uncomfortable with your pace
As I said earlier, it could be that your partner is afraid of catching feelings or getting hurt again. An alternative to these is that you’re just too fast for him and your pace is making him feel uncomfortable.
Perhaps he gets the sense that you’re rushing somewhere while he’s enjoying the ride and wants you to do the same. For him, it’s not the destination that counts but rather the journey.
Being friends and having a strong emotional connection are important qualities for a healthy relationship and he knows that. That’s why he’s not comfortable with your pace and wants you to take things slowly.
If you’re really serious about him, you don’t need to drag him along but rather adapt to the situation.
9. He’s afraid he can’t satisfy your needs
When a guy is in love, his entire world turns upside down and he’ll do anything he can to make his partner happy – and I mean anything. If your man is genuinely in love with you, then he’ll make sure to make you smile every day.
Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase ‘happy wife, happy life’ and that’s true to some extent, even if you’re not yet married but just dating.
So, what does taking it slow mean to a guy? Well, it could be that he’s afraid that he can’t fulfill your desires or needs at the moment.
He’s scared that your relationship will meet a sudden end if he doesn’t slow down a bit and find a way to make you happy.
It’s important for men to feel as if they have a purpose. Otherwise, they’ll think they’re incompetent and as a consequence of that, they won’t be able to open up to you.
That’s why your partner may suggest pumping the brakes because he wants to find a way to make you feel comfortable around him. He’s aware that the only way your relationship can grow is by satisfying your needs so that you never feel as if he’s taking you for granted.
10. You remind him of his ex
There’s nothing worse than being reminded of that one ex who almost tore you apart and made you believe that true love doesn’t exist. The reason why your man says that he wants to take things slowly could be that something reminded him of a past relationship.
Perhaps it was something you said or did, it doesn’t really matter. Even if this man is head over heels for you, he doesn’t want to be put in a situation where he’s thinking of his ex – one who hurt him.
His wish is to start anew with you. He needs to feel that this time will be different and unique and that his feelings will be unharmed, which is why he wants to focus on the essential parts of your relationship.
A man like this would put a lot of effort into getting to know you better. He’ll build on the feelings you have for one another.
He knows that it’s easy to be carried away by the excitement of a new relationship. And that’s exactly what he’s trying to avoid.
11. He’s trying not to let you down
It’s only natural for a man to try to impress the woman he loves. He gives his best to meet his beloved’s desires and fulfill her every need.
If he believes that certain things may prevent him from creating a deeper bond with his significant other, he may want to take the relationship slower. And every man who has ever been in a serious relationship is familiar with this.
Perhaps your man doesn’t want to let your down with his incompetence. Instead of breaking up with you, he takes a step back and lets you know to slow down the pace.
Maybe he believes that taking your dating to the next level isn’t the right call yet as that he’ll just let you down. And in that case, he’ll decide to take it easy.
He wants to get to know you on a deeper level before making a final decision. It’s not easy for a guy to make this kind of move, so cut him some slack and trust that he has your best intentions at heart.
12. He thinks that his other relationships may suffer
According to research, most of us will lose a friend or two once we start a romantic relationship. That’s because we become so absorbed in our relationship that we start neglecting our friends.
Therefore, your guy may opt for taking things slow just so he can balance out the relationships he has with other people.
Perhaps he thinks that your relationship has had an impact on how much time he spends with his family and friends. And the truth is you should be fine with that.
His intention isn’t to hurt you in any way. Instead, he wants to point out that you shouldn’t be preoccupied with each other.
You have to have a life outside of your relationship, remember that. Having other healthy relationships can benefit the two of you in the long run.
Your partner should never be your entire world. Everyone needs to have their own personal space, even if they are in a committed relationship.
So, don’t be mad at him when he says he wants to slow things down.
13. He needs some time to adjust
There’s the possibility that you met a nice guy who doesn’t have too much experience with dating or he’s trying to get over his last relationship. If that’s the case, then it’s completely natural to want to take some time to adapt to a fresh relationship.
In a situation like this, it’s important that you get to know your partner as much as possible. The more comfortable you are with each other, the better he’ll adjust to his new environment.
If you see that he’s struggling to open up to you, respect his desire to move slower. Don’t pressure him to do anything that’s out of his comfort zone and be patient with him.
Sooner or later, he’ll see that he doesn’t have to worry about anything and what happened in the past should stay in the past. The last thing you want to do is scare him off, am I right?
14. He wants to focus on self-development
A man may decide to take a step back when it comes to his relationship because he wants to work on himself in the meantime.
Essentially, he’s taking his time to change his own flaws. By doing so, the bond you two have will only get stronger and it increases your chances of succeeding together.
If he’s trying to be better, then don’t be angry at him and run away because you think he’s a narcissist in disguise. He’s improving and working on himself for you.
That means your relationship is important to him and he’ll do anything he can to become a better person for you. He knows that neglecting his imperfections and not working on them will create a rift between you two, which is why he’s taking his time to work on self-development.
15. He doesn’t want to be in contact all the time
If you two are dating right now, then it’s likely you text and call each other on a daily basis. For some unknown reason, maybe he wants to limit your communication and that’s why he requested to slow things down a bit.
Perhaps he’s stressed about his job or one of his close friends is sick and he needs to take care of them. If he can’t contact you as much as you want him to while you’re dating, then he would prefer to steadily grow your friendship until he has time to take things to the next level.
16. He’s testing your compatibility
A man who wants to find out whether or not the other person is a match for him will take his time to test the waters. He won’t fully commit until he knows that he won’t get hurt again.
Therefore, your man may want to take things slowly because he’s trying to determine whether both of you are compatible. He isn’t interested in being in a casual relationship, so that’s why he’s taking his time to get to know you as a person.