Hopeless Love – We Love Each Other But Can’t Be Together

“We love each other but can’t be together.” Tell me how many times you’ve heard people say that?

The thing about love is that you’re never sure whether it’s meant to be forever. Not every couple who has confessed their love for each other will stay together forever.

There are few things more complicated than love.

When you fall in love with someone, first, you’re unsure whether or not the other person will reciprocate. You confess your feelings to them and you sit there and wait for them to say they love you back.

The uncertainty is nerve-wracking, you feel anxious and scared that the other person will reject you. You have your doubts, but still, you muster up the courage and go all in.

But what if you already know that your relationship with that person is going nowhere? Can you be with someone even though you know you’re not going to stay together forever?

Well, some people are courageous enough to try their luck.

If you’re in love with someone and due to certain circumstances are unable to be with them in the future (or that’s what you think right now), then your best approach is to find a solution that’ll work for both parties.

Many people have said, “We love each other but can’t be together,” and still managed to find a way to live together.

Your road might be bumpy and filled with obstacles, but remember to remain calm and try not to be overly emotional. Why? Because emotions will not work for you in the long run.

“We love each other but can’t be together.” Why do we fall for those we can’t have?

Well, we might do that because we enjoy the thrill of the chase. 

It’s a well-known truth that men enjoy this, but women aren’t that different from men.

They love to be challenged, and they love winning even more.

When you think about it, if something’s easy to obtain, you’re more likely to perceive it as less valuable than something one has to work hard for.

It’s simple psychology really. And the same goes for people.

When someone you like reciprocates with any kind of positive reaction, you instantly feel more alive, like you’ve been awarded a trophy.

Another reason why we might fall for those we can’t have is because we have a fear of commitment. 

Sometimes we place so much importance in a person that we live in constant fear of the day that we finally get what we truly want.

Some even might refuse marriage because of this reason.

Many relationships fail because the opinions they had about their partner don’t match with the reality of that person.

Another reason might be because we have the need to fuel up our vanity.

Vanity is closely connected to self-worth and the way we see ourselves out there in the world.

Humans always want to feel special, attractive, one-of-a-kind, and important. That’s why we’re vain creatures.

When we finally fall for someone we can’t have, someone who is unobtainable, we start to question our value and desirability.

We feed our vanity by pursuing someone we can’t have in the hopes that the situation might resolve itself in the near future and we finally get what we want.

Regarding this article, I’ll mostly focus on the possible reasons why you think you can’t be together.

I’ll also give you solutions on how to move forward in a relationship that you feel is going to end soon.

Sometimes it’s important that you hold on to it and fight for it. Other times, it’s for the best to break it off and move on with your life on your own.

1. We love each other but can’t be together because of family issues

This one is tricky, but hear me out.

There’s no doubt that we all love our family, but sometimes they’re the ones who hinder us from being with the one we love.

It’s completely normal to listen to their advice and follow it if they’re right, but even our loved ones can make wrong assumptions about someone.

Sometimes our family members don’t support our relationship because they think they know what’s best for us.

If they’ve said that to you, don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you’ve made a horrible choice, it’s just that in your family’s eyes, you could do so much better (or so they think).

They think they know you best since they have spent the most time with you and know what your aspirations and desires are.

However, that’s not always true.

Sometimes, they simply don’t hear what you need or want and they’re just stubborn because of their own selfish needs.

And if that’s the case, then you’ll have endless arguments with them about your boyfriend.

They don’t know that all those disagreements and fights will eventually push you away from them.

But it’s not just that. All that pressure that they put on you may force you to break it off with the person you love.

Eventually, the only things that will be left are violence, anger, and an emotional breakdown.

The best way to deal with this is to sit down and calmly talk to them.

Tell them that it’s your choice you’ve made and not theirs and make them see that you really want to succeed with your partner.

Try to emphasize the positive sides of your partner and show your family why you and your partner belong together.

2. We love each other but can’t be together because I’m not happy

Have you caught yourself complaining to your partner a lot lately?

If that’s the case, it could mean that you’re entirely unhappy in your relationship and certain things need to improve ASAP!

Maybe your partner doesn’t make you feel good about yourself.

It could be that he brings up all your flaws and as a consequence of that, your insecurities start to kick in.

Or it could be that you’re the one putting all the effort into the relationship, and he’s doing nothing about it.

Eventually, your only desire is to be left alone because you prefer loneliness to being unhappy.

You and your partner don’t seem to be on the same page anymore. A lot of thoughts pop into your head and you start to move away from him.

Everything that once felt right in your relationship is now gone and you don’t know how to fix it.

So, what do you do now?

First, you have to know that there’s no such thing as a happily ever after.

No one stays happy forever in their relationship, and there will always be some conflicts or unresolved issues that might pop up.

Fights and arguments are fairly normal and they shouldn’t be viewed as a bad thing.

They can help you resolve your issues and move your relationship to the next level.

If you feel unhappy, then try to find the cause of it. Talk things out with your partner and try to find a common ground.

See if he’s willing to work things out so he can help you become happy again. If not, then it’s for the best that you find your happiness elsewhere.

3. We love each other but can’t be together because my partner isn’t supportive

Being in a relationship means that you always have someone to count on.

This is someone who makes you feel loved and happy and they always care for you.

Your partner is someone who has your best interests at heart and will try his best to support you, no matter what.

Having that unconditional support is important in a relationship because it means that you’ll grow together as a couple.

You won’t be afraid to fail because you’ll always have your partner to support you.

However, what if that partner is the one who is always against you? The one who’s stopping you from becoming a superwoman?

Sometimes, your partner might be the one who doesn’t understand you at all.

He doesn’t see things from your perspective and as such, forces his decisions on you.

So, what can you do in such a situation?

First, you have to think about a particular situation in which you expect to have their support.

Will the outcome of that have a positive or negative impact on you?

Could it be that your partner is only protecting you from something harmful to you? If that’s the case, then you should rethink the situation.

On the other hand, you should talk to your partner honestly about what you want and expect from him.

Don’t expect too much from him and try to be as objective as you can.

If you’re in a relationship with a partner who doesn’t support your dreams and goals then you should reconsider whether or not you should stay with him.

4. We love each other but can’t be together because we don’t see eye to eye

Almost every relationship has this problem where you and your partner have a difference of opinions.

Sometimes those issues are tiny and you can resolve them easily without any fuss, but there are times when your differences in beliefs make you want to leave your partner.

There will be times when you and he don’t see eye to eye and that’s completely fine.

Having different opinions, interests, and even principles is quite normal and you shouldn’t leave your partner because of resulting disagreements and conflicts.

Instead, what you should do is find a way to cope up with them in healthy and respectable ways.

If you’ve thought about ending your relationship, then you’re at the stage where you think leaving your partner is the only solution. Or is it?

Have you considered making compromises with your partner? If not, try explaining your differences to him and work together on fixing them.

Those compromises should be made in a way where both partners won’t hold any grudges later on.

Try to see things from his perspective. It can be an eye-opening experience, believe me.

It can improve your relationship and give you a fresh outlook on things, but the thing is that you have to be open-minded enough to do that.

5. We love each other but can’t be together because my partner cheated on me

Tell me, how many times have you said that you’re going to give him another chance even though he cheated on you?

I’m sure you’ve thought to yourself many times, “We love each other but can’t be together because he was unfaithful to me.”

Being cheated on is one of the most gruesome feelings in the world.

It’s hard to accept that you weren’t enough for your partner and that he needed someone else to fulfill his needs.

It seems as if your life is turned upside down and you don’t know where you stand.

However, no matter how hard it is in your relationship, nothing can justify cheating.

Everything that you have built up to that moment is crushed and destroyed. You start questioning yourself and your sanity.

In those dark moments, it’s difficult to remember that you’re not the cause of his cheating. You’re not to blame for his bad behavior.

He chose to hurt you for his selfish desires and nothing else. He didn’t even think about how you would feel if you found out he cheated on you.

So, what should you do?

Well, the only thing you can do is kick him out of your life. If you find out you’ve been cheated on, leave him then and there and don’t look back.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. He’ll most definitely cheat on you again if he gets the chance, even if he promises you he won’t do it again.

Never give him a second chance to walk all over you. Move as far away as you can from this person and apply the no-contact rule.

Take time to heal and analyze your mistakes so you won’t repeat them ever again.

You deserve so much more than a cheating boyfriend and you should never try to rekindle a flame that’s long been extinguished.

6. We love each other but can’t be together because my partner is moving to a different city

Love is very powerful. It can make you do things you never thought you were capable of doing.

Even if you hate doing something, you still might do it because you love your partner and you want to make him happy.

This situation is very similar. Maybe your partner had a job offer where he needs to move to a different city and he’s asking you to go with him, but you’re hesitant.

He wants to pursue his dreams but you don’t want him to go, yet you can’t ask him to stay either. It would be very wrong to ask him to choose between his dreams and you.

It is expected from you to support and encourage him to chase his dreams and not make him choose between his goals and love.

I know that the thought of your partner leaving you is driving you crazy.

So, what should you do?

Well, you should talk to your partner openly about your future together. You can’t make that decision on your own.

Talk to him and see whether you’re on the same page or not.

Maybe you’re more involved in your relationship than he is and in that case, it’s best to let him go and move on with your life.

However, if you’re both okay with moving to a different city, and he wants you to go with him, then that’s the best thing to do.

You could always opt for a long-distance relationship, but keep in mind that it takes a lot of effort and patience to make it work.

Often, those kinds of relationships end on an ugly note and with heartbreak.

7. We love each other but can’t be together because my partner is abusive

Abuse doesn’t just refer to physical abuse. It can come in different forms and none of them should be tolerated.

However, most women don’t recognize they’re being abused by their partner, and if they do, they suffer silently and hope to find a way out.

This can happen when you’re in an unhealthy relationship where your partner forces you to believe in anything and everything he says.

He always uses the love card to his advantage and he leaves you feeling empty and manipulated.

If your partner always blames you for everything bad that happens in your relationship, then you should know that he’s manipulating you, which is a type of abusive behavior.

I know that love can make you feel like you’re in seventh heaven, but you shouldn’t ignore any red flag out there.

If you’re experiencing any sort of abusive behavior, then you should end it and immediately run away.

Don’t tolerate either physical, emotional, or verbal abuse because you won’t find happiness there.

And after you’re done with this person, don’t contact him ever again.

Don’t give him a second chance and know that he won’t change because of you.

He’ll most definitely try to come back into your life, but the situation won’t get any better.

8. We love each other but can’t be together because my partner has a wife

We don’t choose with whom we’re going to fall in love – our heart does.

There’s a possibility that you’re going to fall in love with a guy who already has a girlfriend or a wife.

Or it could be that you have a partner and fall in love with someone else.

The only thing you know is that both of you are in love and you’re not sure whether or not it’s morally right to continue your relationship.

So, what can you do?

Whether or not he has a wife or girlfriend, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that he has someone else, and you’re not his only one.

There’s someone else in your relationship who might not be even aware of you. You shouldn’t be responsible for ruining someone else’s marriage.

If he can cheat on his wife, then he won’t hesitate to do the same thing with you.

The best thing you can do is move on with your own life unless he’s ready to leave his wife for you.

Now that we’ve covered the possible reasons why you can’t be together and some of the solutions, you might be wondering how to handle the pain of loving someone you can’t have. 

The process of letting go might take a while, but if you can’t find a solution, then it’s probably for the best to move on from your partner.

Try to find a hobby and keep yourself occupied. 

If you’re hopelessly in love with someone you can’t have, it’s difficult to focus on anything else that’s going on in your life.

Try to divert your attention to other things that occupy your mind with something other than him, like trying out a new hobby.

Find a distraction and put all of your time and energy into that.

If you can find a way to distract your mind from obsessing over someone you can’t have, you’ll have an easier time moving on from him.

Find a support system. 

When you’re in love with someone you can’t have, it’s difficult to cope with your feelings on your own.

You should surround yourself with good people who will support you and make sure you don’t feel alone.

It’s important to know you can always count on them and not be afraid to contact them when you’re feeling low about your unrequited love.

Tell him how you honestly feel.

This might be your best solution if you’re going through pain and feeling down. If you do that, both of you can try to find a way to cope and move on.

Don’t expect anything from him, though, and try to be as open-minded as you can. Be honest about how you feel and how your love is hurting you.

He definitely deserves to know how you feel about him, just as much as you deserve to tell him.

When you love someone you can’t have, it can feel as if you’re riding a roller coaster.

Sometimes you feel high and happy, but other times, you feel lonely and sad.

Learning how to cope will make your life easier and happier.