Think aloud
It doesn’t matter whether the two of you have been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, months, or even years. The only thing that matters is that this guy seems to think that waiting for him to make up his mind is an option. Am I the only one who thinks that’s crazy?!
He’s got more issues than Vogue, yet you’re the one falling head over heels for him and trying to get him to commit. Trust me, you don’t want to be someone’s option when you deserve to be their first choice.
If he’s failing to see your worth right now, how can you expect him to appreciate you in the future?
Matters of the heart are never black and white. You shouldn’t ignore the fact that there could be many reasons why he found himself in this situation. He might have just broken up with someone he truly cared about and he’s not ready to move on.
He might be involved with someone else, in the midst of an ugly divorce, or even preoccupied with a co-parenting arrangement. In the end, he might simply be unsure of how he feels about you and that’s completely fine.
When you think about it, his reasons don’t make much of a difference to you. They don’t change the fact that he doesn’t seem to want to be in a serious relationship with you right now. So, why should you keep waiting for him?
10 reasons why you shouldn’t keep waiting for him to make up his mind
Give me one reason why you should put your needs aside and keep waiting for him to make up his mind?
He says he loves you but he doesn’t see himself in a serious relationship? He says he can’t imagine his life without you but he’s emotionally unavailable? Yeah, right.
When you have feelings for someone you don’t sit around pondering whether you should be with that person. Think about it, the moment you locked eyes with this guy you knew you wanted him in your life. You decided to stick around even though he didn’t bite the bullet and commit to a relationship.
Let’s be honest, the only thing worse than a guy wearing socks with sandals is the guy who can’t seem to make up his mind. If you’re still unsure whether you should give him another chance and continue waiting for him, here are a couple of reasons why you shouldn’t.
1. He doesn’t deserve you
He might not be a bad guy, but he certainly doesn’t deserve your attention at the moment.
You might have feelings for him, but that doesn’t mean that you should put your life on hold on the off chance he might change his mind. For once in your life, you should put your needs before his!
You have better things to do with your time. If you find yourself staring at the green dot next to his name on Facebook wondering why he hasn’t texted you yet, go outside and take a walk. Not only will it do wonders for your emotional health, but it will also prevent you from coming off as desperate.
Think about it. If you have your heart set on this man you shouldn’t let him see this side of you. There’s nothing appealing about desperation, obsessive behavior, and insecurities.
After all, he’s trying to figure out whether he wants to be with you. This kind of conduct might scare him away.
On the other hand, you deserve to be with someone who doesn’t get scared away that easily. There are plenty of guys who would do anything to be in a relationship with someone like you, and you’re not giving them a chance because you’re too busy pining over this dingus.
Don’t wait for him!
2. He doesn’t have feelings for you
This might be a tough pill to swallow, but you should take into consideration that there’s a possibility that he no longer has feelings for you. He might have thought the two of you would work great together, and it took him some time to realize you weren’t what he was looking for after all.
Instead of dealing with the situation like a man and having an open conversation with you, he decided to string you along. What you can’t seem to understand is that he’s keeping you from moving on with your life.
If you leave, you might end up meeting someone a thousand times better than him.
He doesn’t want to be with you, but he also doesn’t want you to be with anyone else. This type of behavior is extremely toxic and manipulative, and you should remove yourself from the situation while you still have the chance.
Waiting for him to make up his mind shouldn’t even be an option if he doesn’t have feelings for you. The only reason he’s asking you to wait is that he doesn’t want to be alone while he’s looking for someone else to entertain his needs. If nothing else, you deserve to be treated like a human being!
3. He’s involved with someone else
Whoever said that ”you should never build your happiness on someone else’s pain” was absolutely right.
You should walk away as soon as you realize the object of your desire’s involved with someone else. You shouldn’t allow yourself to build a relationship on the foundations of betrayal and infidelity.
Don’t let yourself be sweet-talked into waiting for him to leave his wife, his girlfriend, or whatever poor women he managed to lure into his web of lies. You know better than to trust someone who spends most of his time lying to other people. What makes you think he’s not lying to you, too?
One of the biggest mistakes most women make is thinking they could change a grown man. He’s long past puberty!
Trust me, the only thing you should be changing is your phone number; in case this good-for-nothing cheater decides to take a break from other women and beg you to take him back.
It’s so easy to make excuses for people like him. ”Oh, it’s not his fault he fell in love with me while he was in a relationship with someone else.” If that was the case, he wouldn’t ask you to wait for him. He would do everything in his power to make sure he can be in a healthy relationship with you.
4. He’s playing you
Let’s get this straight. This guy wants you to wait for him while he makes up his mind whether he wants to be with you. He’s not involved with anyone else, he’s over his ex, and he doesn’t have any other problems in his life that he needs to deal with.
So, why exactly do you need to wait for him?
Because he’s too big of a coward to commit to a serious relationship with an accomplished woman? At the risk of sounding too harsh, you shouldn’t put your life on hold for a man who isn’t brave enough to immerse himself in a healthy relationship.
Sounds to me like he’s playing games. He’s testing your limits to see how far he can go before you give up on him. Chances are he never intended to stay in your life long enough to build a lasting connection. What happens next is completely up to you.
If you’re looking for something serious he isn’t the guy for you. However, if you’re interested in beating him at his own game you should go for it!
5. He’s not ready for commitment
If I had a penny every time a man told me he wasn’t ready to be in a serious relationship, I’d be very rich. This seems to be a common phenomenon among the male species, so you shouldn’t be surprised you’re one of the many victims of the ”I’m not ready” speech.
There’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries and being honest about your intentions. However, you shouldn’t believe everything that comes out of his mouth.
Chances are he’s just avoiding having an open conversation with you. He’s asking you to wait for him because he simply doesn’t know what he wants!
You shouldn’t be surprised if a couple of months from now you find out he’s in a serious relationship with someone else. After all, you can’t control who you fall in love with, but you can control how you decide to deal with uncomfortable situations.
So, what should you do if a guy asks you to wait for him because he’s not ready to be in a committed relationship right now? Run as fast as you can! Trust me, if he had any feelings for you he wouldn’t waste a chance to be with you.
6. He’s the right person, but the timing’s wrong
Contrary to the popular belief, you shouldn’t waste your time waiting for a man simply because he seems to be the right fit for you. If the two of you were meant to be together you would have found a way. It might be difficult to accept, but the universe works in strange ways.
He might be in your neighborhood visiting his family but he’s leaving in a couple of weeks. He might be in between jobs or moving to a different country as soon as his papers are done.
Either way, you’re completely aware that this guy isn’t going to stay in your life for much longer.
If he asked you to wait for him, you should sit down and think about your options. He might be coming back in a couple of months, or he might have a reason to believe the two of you should give your relationship a try in the future.
Obviously, you shouldn’t let your skepticism stop you from experiencing a once-in-a-lifetime romance with a handsome stranger. But, if you have any reason to doubt his words, don’t fall for the ”Wait for me to come back” story he probably tells to every woman he meets on the way.
7. He doesn’t want to make an effort
You can’t expect something to succeed if you’re not willing to put in the work. Trust me, you can’t be the only person in your relationship making an effort.
He’s sitting on his butt all day expecting you to pull the strings? How does he have the audacity to ask you to wait for him to make up his mind?!
Take a look in the mirror and tell me what you see? If the answer is ”a successful and independent woman who shouldn’t let a man walk all over her” you’re correct. With everything you’ve done for this relationship to succeed, he should be on one knee asking you to spend the rest of your life with him.
If you really love him, try having an open conversation. On the off chance that he isn’t a glorified man-child, he should be able to listen to your needs and take them into consideration.
There’s no reason why he shouldn’t agree to make an effort to change, and to finally make up his mind about your relationship.
He might try manipulating you into feeling bad for ”forcing him to choose between you and his freedom.” If he does, that would be your cue to leave. You want nothing to do with a man who can’t let go of his childish inhibitions.
8. He can’t make up his mind
If he can’t make up his mind about you, you should make up yours and leave. A guy who doesn’t see you as a necessity in his life isn’t someone you want to keep around. It’s about time we hold men to a higher standard!
If he’s asking you to wait for him to make up his mind, he’s putting your relationship on hold. He doesn’t want to make an effort to change anything about himself because he doesn’t think he’s the problem. He doesn’t want to be with you, but he also doesn’t want you to be with someone else.
You should never be with someone who makes you feel uncertain about the future. Does he make you feel insecure or simply not good enough? Does he make you question your sanity and manipulate you into thinking you’re crazy?
Trust me, you don’t want to be in a relationship with a guy like him.
You should know better than to believe him when he tells you he loves you. Someone who loves you wouldn’t ask for time to figure out his next move.
He wouldn’t sit around waiting for someone else to swoop you off your feet. The only person he loves is himself!
9. He wants to take a break
There are many different situations in which a man might ask you to wait for him. The two of you might have already been in a relationship when he decided to shake things up a bit.
So, what should you do when a guy asks you to wait for him because he wants to take a break?
First things first, there are a couple of reasons why he might be asking for a break. He might be confused about his feelings, dealing with other issues, trying to take control of his life, or even trying to break up with you but he’s too scared to admit it.
Either way, you should let him do his thing. You shouldn’t sit around waiting for him to call you, or try to get in contact with him through mutual friends. If he needs a break from your relationship, you should keep your distance, and let him come to you when he’s ready.
On the other hand, you deserve to be with someone who doesn’t run away at the first sight of trouble. If you’re tired of waiting for him to make up his mind, you should simply make up yours and leave. Take this opportunity and tell him you want to break up.
10. If he’s meant to be with you, he’ll find his way back
At the end of the day, you shouldn’t force anyone to stay in your life.
If he’s asking you to wait for him to make up his mind, you should accept and make sure he understands what that means. He’s free to go into the world and explore his options – but so are you.
You shouldn’t sit around your apartment all day eating ice cream, listening to sad songs, and waiting for him to come to his senses. You have better things to do with your life.
Focus on making yourself happy, do the things you always wanted to do, and simply go about your business.
Disagreeing with him, going on endless rants about all the ways in which he’s wrong, and questioning his decision will only make him drift further away. After all, waiting for him to make up his mind doesn’t mean you have to put a pause on your life.
You can go out with other people, explore your options, and enjoy life! You should surround yourself with people who want to be in your life, who make a positive impact on your emotional health and enrich your mundane existence.
If the two of you are meant to be together, he will use this time to realize his mistake and come back to you. If not, you can always use this experience as a reminder not all relationships work out. And that’s completely fine!
You shouldn’t be waiting for him, but…
You’re completely aware of everything that might go wrong if you agree to wait for him, but… The heart want’s what it wants.
You’re willing to take the risk because you believe he’s worth the effort. He proved his love to you before this sudden change of heart.
It goes without saying, but you should be careful. Don’t let him manipulate you into thinking you’re insane for doubting his reasons. Before you agree to do anything you might end up regretting, make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.
Don’t waste your valuable time on a player!
On the other hand, there are a couple of things you should keep an eye on when deciding whether he’s worth the wait. There are two sides two every story, and the least you can do is take both of them into consideration. So, let’s dive in.
He loves you
What can I say, I’m a sucker for a good love story!
He might be asking you to wait for him because he needs some time to process his emotions. You might have run into a guy who was hurt in the past and wants to make sure he doesn’t make the same mistake in the present.
He’s the most perfect guy in the world. He’s the human embodiment of a Greek god, doesn’t hide his affection towards you, and mentions your name every time he makes plans for the future?
Chances are he’s simply overwhelmed with his own emotions. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t wait and see what happens.
He’s open and honest
You have no reason to doubt his intentions because he doesn’t shy away from having open and honest conversations with you. He keeps you up to date with everything that’s going on in his life, and he made sure to keep you up to speed with the inner turmoil he’s experiencing at the moment.
When you think about it, he’s asking you to wait for him to make up his mind out of respect for you. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you unless he’s completely sure you’re the one he wants to spend his life with.
You should trust him because he hasn’t done anything to prove you otherwise.
He’s not preventing you from living your life
He’s not one of those guys! If anything, he wants you to move on with your life and do everything that makes you happy. He might be asking you to wait for him to make up his mind, but he’s not expecting you to put a pause on your life.
He understands how unfair that would be, so he’s simply asking you to keep an open mind once he does decide to reach out to you. You know what they say, ”If you love something, set it free.”
If the two of you are meant to be together, you will find a way back to each other.
