Think aloud
We always throw around the word narcissist, but do we ever take the time to talk about the traits of a female narcissist?
I can say, with certainty, that everyone has met a woman like this. She’s charismatic at first, she draws you in with her charm, but after a while the facade falls apart and all that’s left is the shell of a human being.
It’s important to know the traits because you should be able to spot this woman for your own safety. You can’t go through life and believe that everyone’s a good person, so you’ll have to look deeper.
Understanding this type of behavior is hard, but NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) in women isn’t something to be messed with. She can turn your life upside down in a second if she wants to.
So, what are the traits of a female narcissist?
14 traits of a female narcissist to look out for
1. Fantasizes about power
The first on the list of traits of a female narcissist is her immense need for power. Even if she doesn’t have any power for now, she’ll always find a way to talk about her fantasies.
She dreams of holding people in her grasp and commanding people around, and she’s even able to execute those fantasies in her workplace and friend group.
2. Believes that she’s special and different
A female narcissist believes that she’s extremely special. This is one of the main traits of narcissists, and it can be seen in even the simplest conversation.
She’ll talk about how she’s better than others, and she’ll make sure that everyone understands just how different she is.
“I could never wear that much makeup, I guess I’m just born with a pretty face.”
“My goodness, you really have to study that much? I just read things once, and I remember them.”
“I mean, I’ve never been like other girls. I’m much more logical, I don’t care about those stupid things girls care about. Must be that I’m some sort of alien!”
3. Has a sense of entitlement
One of the main traits of a female narcissist is that she believes that she’s entitled to things just because she exists. She believes that she’s entitled to jobs, attention, friends, better treatment in public places, and so on.
I mean, in the modern world, people would call a woman like this a Karen. That’s the woman who says that she deserves the window seat in an airplane for no other reason than being herself. This makes no sense, but in her head, no one is worthy of nice things but herself.
4. Being competitive
Combined with that need to be special comes the competitive nature of a female narcissist. She wants to be the best at everything, and when she’s not able to achieve that, she makes everyone else feel like it’s not even that special.
She’s envious of people’s success, of their relationships, of the way they look, among other things. A woman with NPD can’t stand when someone is better than her, looks better than her, is liked more than her, and so on.
That’s why she’s always in a one-sided competition with other people (mostly women) to show that she’s definitely above them. Even if she seems nice, it’s always some sort of a back-handed compliment.
5. Goes quickly from love to hate
Because of this trait, people usually can’t differentiate BPD from NPD. However, this is one of the few similarities between these two personality disorders.
One of the traits of a female narcissist is that she’ll hate you the moment something doesn’t go her way. Even though you’ve been together for so long, you still can’t seem to understand where that hate comes from.
One moment she loves you, but the next moment she hates you with her entire being, and she couldn’t care less about hurting you. That’s when her true colors come through.
6. She’s overly concerned with her appearance
Considering the fact that a female narcissist always has to be the center of attention, she’s overly concerned with her appearance. She always has to look the best, and even if she doesn’t, she probably spent hours in front of the mirror to look casual.
This woman cares about her appearance more than anything. That’s why so many people are drawn to her, and she tends to get away with things much easier because of her beauty.
7. She doesn’t care about boundaries
Boundaries? What are those? Do you genuinely believe that a female narcissist cares about your boundaries?
No. She doesn’t.
When you tell her that something bothers you about her, she’ll make it seem like you’re the crazy one. She’ll tell you that you should be lucky that she even gives you the time of day. This woman is capable of twisting things around to make you feel guilty for even trying to set a boundary.
Did you tell her to stop flirting with your boyfriend? She’s already sitting in his lap.
Did you ask her to stop using that nickname she gave you? She’ll continue calling you that just to spite you.
Did you tell her that you don’t feel comfortable with her texting other men? Well, her DM’s are probably flooded with weird dudes at this point.
8. All hell breaks loose if things don’t go her way
This is probably one of the worst traits of a female narcissist. I mean, she becomes a predator once she’s angry. She starts yelling at you, throwing things around, she makes a scene no matter where you are.
Of course, in friendships and relationships, it’s normal to argue. However, this woman takes things to a whole new level. She starts throwing your things out of the window, she busts the windows out of your car, and she doesn’t stop until she’s satisfied.
9. Self-deprecating moments
She can’t keep that up for long. Narcissism is rooted in deep insecurity, and those moments will come to light before you know it. That’s why you believe that she has some sense of self-awareness, but it’s just a fleeting moment.
She starts saying things that are completely out of character for her.
“I’m so stupid, why did I do this?!”
“I’m awful to you, why do you tolerate me?”
She probably says these things through tears and sobs. However, she’ll use this to manipulate you.
10. She refuses to apologize
One of the traits of a female narcissist is that she will never apologize. She doesn’t care that she was the one who hurt you, or that she made you cry. You’re “obviously” the problem, considering that she doesn’t understand how she could ever do something wrong.
This woman will find a way to justify her behavior in a second, and you’ll end up apologizing even if it’s not your fault.
11. She loves to punish her partner
Even though narcissists are known for being abusive, physically and emotionally, they also tend to punish their partners in other ways. For example, she will leave after a fight, and you won’t have any idea where she went. Or she’ll block you on everything just to remind you that she can until you’re desperate to talk to her.
A narcissistic woman will even go as far as to throw out your favorite things just to get some type of reaction out of you. Sometimes, she’ll even hurt herself just to punish you.
Your reaction is the only thing she needs, even if that means that she’ll cut herself, get into a car accident, get in a fight with someone, and so on. This woman’s insanity has no limits.
12. Unfaithful in relationships
Do you truly believe that a narcissistic woman is able to thrive off of the attention of one person? No. She needs multiple people to give her attention so that she feels validated.
This is one of the most common traits of a female narcissist. She doesn’t care about your feelings, she just wants to feel wanted.
13. She’s manipulative
This probably goes without saying, but I genuinely believe that it’s important to mention. Manipulation is one of the traits of a female narcissist. She’ll do anything to manipulate you into staying in her life, and she’ll manipulate you into thinking that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
14. She tries to ruin your other relationships
Have you ever been in a toxic relationship before? When you have a support system, it’s so much easier to get out of it. It’s so good to have someone to talk to and tell them everything that’s been going on so that you can get out of that hellhole.
A narcissistic woman knows that, and that’s why she’s doing anything and everything in her power to keep you away from everyone else. She can’t handle those people warning you about her, and she’ll manipulate you into believing that she’s the only person who’s good for you.
“Everyone else is just jealous of what we have!”