Think aloud
There are so many things that destroy a marriage. Sometimes, people tie the knot without even thinking about their compatibility, but they continue to stay together through so many horrible things.
However, sometimes, even the smallest things, like a comment, or not answering the phone when it’s an emergency could be deal-breakers. This is really up to the people within this union, it doesn’t even have to be that they’ve fallen out of love, it could just be that they’re not ready to endure certain things in a partnership.
It’s completely normal, I mean, we can’t really blame people for getting divorced. In this modern period, it’s not such a taboo to get divorced, but our grandmothers didn’t have that luxury. Nowadays, we have to be aware of all the things that could ruin the union.
It’s better to be prepared and to make sure that you never find yourself in these situations, than not knowing and then falling into one of these traps without even realizing it. So, let’s talk about the things that destroy a marriage.
11 things that destroy a marriage
1. Miscommunication
One of the things that destroy a marriage is the lack of communication. However, you can also talk a lot with each other and still not be able to communicate things properly.
You’re always fighting, and you’re not able to talk about things when they occur, but rather you find yourself getting angry, and your words are out of control. Things like this aren’t good, because at one point you won’t be able to use affectionate words anymore, you’ll only be passive-aggressive.
You have to learn how to communicate properly, and most importantly, you’ll have to learn how to listen to your partner. Just because you hear something, doesn’t mean that that’s what your partner said. You hear things from your perspective, so you’ll have to listen carefully and understand your partner fully.
2. Substance abuse
One of the things that will destroy your marriage without any doubt is when you or your partner are using drugs or alcohol. This will turn into a destructive life where you’ll both be completely lost in your need for these substances, and you’ll forget about the things that actually matter.
Addiction is an awful thing, especially when one partner is sober and the other one isn’t even trying to fight their addiction. You’ll find yourself making excuses for your partner when he starts stealing things and money just to get his next fix.
No one needs this type of dynamic in their relationship. Even if it’s just alcohol abuse, you still have the right to walk away from this marriage. This is one of the things that destroy a marriage for a reason. You don’t have to deal with the household, the kids, and your druggy of a husband all at once.
3. Abuse
This seems like one of those things that are obvious, right? However, you’d be surprised how many women are ready to cover for their husbands just because they’re scared that something worse may happen.
Another thing that happens is that the woman is so in love with her partner that she isn’t able to understand that something isn’t right. Women come to the E.R. with bruises and bloody wounds, and they still choose to say that it was an accident. So, what happens afterward? How long are you able to handle this type of behavior before you go completely nuts?
I mean, abuse should never be tolerated. Even if your partner never showed any signs that he could become aggressive in the future, you have the right to walk away once he hits you for the first time.
Even if you’re scared, even if you have no support system – it doesn’t matter. You have a right to divorce him right there and then.
4. Infidelity
This is a no-brainer. Some people are ready to forgive infidelity because they believe that their kids are more important than this little mistake.
However, infidelity leaves a huge gap in the partner who stays faithful throughout the entire relationship. You can’t tell me that you wouldn’t ask yourself for the rest of your life why you weren’t good enough for your partner.
Once a cheater is always a cheater, and your partner can’t change this title because he already cheated on you. Because of this, your marriage will fall apart in a matter of seconds.
5. Keeping secrets
One of the things that destroy a marriage is definitely when someone is keeping secrets. It doesn’t matter what type of secrets we’re talking about, but within a marriage, every single secret could destroy your bond.
Secrets like money troubles, infidelity, some issues that your kids have at school, or even keeping secrets that are related to your family. All of these things could change your dynamic forever.
You should be able to talk about anything and everything without any issues. If you choose to keep a secret, you’ll constantly beat yourself up about it, and it will eventually come out. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to keep your little secret, once it comes out it’ll destroy your marriage.
6. Incompatibility
So many people believe that being incompatible won’t influence your relationship. I mean, just because you have two different religious beliefs, it won’t make much of a difference, right?
Wrong.
This is one of the things that destroy a marriage, and I can’t tell you just how dangerous this is. I mean, you’re probably attracted to each other on some level, but if you don’t talk about your marriage expectations, then you’re probably left with a partner who doesn’t share any of your values.
He wants your kids to skip Sunday mass, but you’re a devout Christian and you want your entire family to go together. He wants to travel with the family all the time, but you’re a homebody, and you can’t seem to get out of the house.
Can you imagine how many arguments you could have in your marriage?
7. Taking your partner for granted
This is a silent killer, and your marriage could end in divorce if you’re not careful enough. It’s important to always appreciate the work and effort your partner puts into your relationship.
Even if it’s something as simple as cleaning, you should always compliment your partner. Don’t just ignore their efforts.
I mean, as women, we do so much labor around the home, and we do so much emotional labor, that it’s actually a pain more often than not. It would be amazing if your partner wouldn’t take that for granted! Because once you feel unappreciated, you’ll start to hate him. After a while, this will become a silent killer of your relationship.
8. Financial problems
One of the things that destroy a marriage is the fact that people don’t take finance seriously as a part of their marriage. I mean, you’re probably sharing your finances. Even if you’re not, then that’s another issue.
When you’re going through financial issues, it could even bring you closer together. However, if one of you loves to spend money on gambling, or is a shopaholic, then you’re in for a ride that’s not fun at all. This will destroy your marriage without any doubt.
9. Comparison
There’s nothing worse than when you hear someone tell their partner “How can her husband do that for her, and you never do that for me?” or “Why can’t you be more like her husband, you should try being more like him!”
All of these comments can leave a mark on your relationship and your marriage will fall into shambles simply because you aren’t able to leave the comparisons. Your partner will feel underappreciated and taken for granted if you’re not able to stop doing this. That’s why you have to stop.
10. Outside parties influence your marriage
It’s good to have a support system that will be there for you when things aren’t as good as they used to be in your relationship. However, when outside parties start influencing your marriage, it’ll fall apart in a matter of seconds.
People are usually very jealous, and they don’t want others to be happy. Exactly for this reason, you’ll find yourself wondering if their words are true and if you should in fact break up with your partner. However, you’re probably just overreacting because your “friends” can’t stand seeing you happy.
11. Lack of physical affection
One of the things that destroy a marriage is the lack of physical intimacy. Even though you believe that it’s not as important as people say it is, the truth is that it’s extremely important. You can’t ignore this crucial part of a romantic relationship.
If you’re lacking this aspect in your marriage, then you should probably have a deep conversation with your partner and help each other understand why there’s a lack of physical affection.
Intimacy is always better when you’re able to talk about it without any issues.