You hope for it not to be true but you see the signs your husband isn’t in love with you. All this time that you’ve been together, you’ve loved him with all of your heart but he seems to care less and less as time goes by…
Now, you’re stuck in an unhappy marriage and the signs your husband isn’t in love with you are there in front of you. It hurts so much and you try to deny it but you know you can’t run away from the truth.
Is it really possible that the man you wanted to spend eternity with doesn’t have room for you in his heart any longer?
I can’t imagine anything worse than how it could make you feel but please don’t jump to conclusions. Your husband may be going through something or it could be that you’ve just hit a rough patch.
When you see the signs your husband isn’t in love with you, of course it’s alarming. If he can’t even talk to you anymore, you shouldn’t ignore the problem.
Maybe your marriage really is over or this is something you’ll survive… but either way, the problem is there and it’s not going to go away on its own.
You’ll need to have a serious conversation with your husband to see what’s going on and if that doesn’t work, you can suggest counseling but you should know when to quit trying too.
Read these signs that your husband isn’t in love with you anymore and decide whether your marriage is worth fighting for.
20 painful signs your husband isn’t in love with you
1. He avoids communication
The two of you were talking less and less until you stopped communicating altogether. Your husband doesn’t feel like speaking to you about his day or discussing the future and it’s one of the signs your husband isn’t in love with you.
You try to talk to him about the things that interest you but he doesn’t seem to care. He rarely asks you any questions and seems distant when you talk.
It’s like he’s not even there and you’re talking to a wall. While you’re trying to have a conversation with him, he watches TV, looks at his phone, or finds other distractions.
2. He doesn’t show affection
Showing affection is important in relationships but married couples often end up neglecting it. Your husband should kiss you when you wake up and before you go to sleep and if not, he should at least hug you once a day.
Some people are just not the affectionate type and that’s okay but happy couples cuddle up on the couch under a warm blanket every now and then.
If your husband instead avoids showing affection and even pulls away when you touch him, it’s a big problem. One of the clearest signs your husband isn’t in love with you is when he stops showing affection.
3. He has become more selfish and doesn’t want to do anything for you
Every wife occasionally asks her husband to do something for her, whether it’s to help her or to take care of something on his own. If your spouse complains when you ask him to do something, it’s a red flag.
You don’t often ask him to do something but he still gets annoyed every time you do and most of the time, he doesn’t do what you ask of him.
He doesn’t even bother to come up with excuses anymore and just seems to be more selfish than ever.
Lately, he has only been doing the things that make him happy and he doesn’t seem to care about your wants and needs. His come first and he isn’t willing to make compromises.
The two of you have lunch when he wants to, you go to the restaurants he wants to eat at, and basically, you only do what he wants you to do.
This is one of the very concerning signs your husband isn’t in love with you but know that he could have simply changed. Either way, you shouldn’t tolerate such selfishness.
4. He spends most of his time away from you
Maybe you always liked to spend more time doing separate things and that’s okay but now your husband spends most of his time away from you and that wasn’t the part of the deal.
Having a life outside of the relationship is important but basically not spending any time together is a huge warning sign.
He goes out with his friends every weekend and he dedicates his free time to his hobbies. The days when you’d spend most of your time together are long gone.
You don’t even have date nights anymore and this is something married couples need in order to have a healthy relationship.
It’s like you’re living entirely separate lives and only sleep in the same bed. It seems he simply doesn’t enjoy spending time with you anymore, which is one of the signs he isn’t in love with you and wants to have some space.
Occasionally, you need to focus on each other and each other only.
You don’t do that though and your husband always finds excuses not to spend time with you. Maybe he sometimes agrees to a date night but then he keeps postponing it until a lot of time passes.
5. He doesn’t compliment you
Who doesn’t like hearing from their spouse that they look good? Your husband should notice when you get dressed up and he should compliment you.
Maybe he used to notice every little change you made in your appearance but then he stopped. Perhaps he used to call you beautiful as soon as you’d wake up, even when you didn’t believe him.
He doesn’t do these things anymore and he stopped complimenting you altogether, and not just regarding your appearance. You can’t even remember the last time your husband said something nice to you.
He used to tell you almost every day that he loved you but now he doesn’t even show it. As a matter of fact, he seems to be nicer to everyone other than you.
He listens when other people talk and shows genuine interest but he doesn’t care about what you have to say. When other people need him, he’s there for them but not for you.
It’s like he doesn’t even value your marriage – or you for that matter.
6. One of the painful signs your husband isn’t in love with you is when everything you do irritates him
It’s normal to occasionally be somewhat short-tempered but your husband has been like that with you for a long time. Everything you do irritates him and you can’t please him, no matter how hard you try.
Your husband has no patience and quickly gets annoyed, even by trivial things, and his hurtful remarks are locked and loaded whenever you do something that he doesn’t like.
He raises his voice to you too often and doesn’t hesitate to point out the things he doesn’t like about you.
Loving someone means accepting them for who they are but your husband now doesn’t seem to like anything you do. He constantly blames you for everything and says you can’t do anything right.
His criticism has become toxic and he doesn’t mind calling you stupid just because you don’t do exactly what he wants.
Maybe he even mentions the things he doesn’t like about your appearance or perhaps he blames you for ‘letting yourself go’ while not even considering how he’s changed over the years.
7. He talks negatively about you in public
To be honest, we all sometimes complain about our spouse to our family or friends.
If your husband talks negatively about you to other people while you’re in public, however, it’s an entirely different thing. It’s cruel and can make you feel ashamed and attacked.
Maybe he frames the things he says as jokes but they’re certainly not funny. Instead, they’re hurtful and portray you in a bad light.
It’s like he doesn’t have anything nice to say about you anymore. All he sees are the things that he thinks aren’t that great about you and he doesn’t hesitate to point them out.
8. He’s not happy, no matter how hard you try to meet his needs
No matter what you do, it’s never enough for him. You try hard to meet his needs and make him happy but he always has something to complain about.
He never thanks you for all the things you do for him and instead, he takes you for granted and shows no signs of appreciation.
Still, he expects thanks from you, even for the trivial things he does, and when you don’t recognize his efforts, he gets so upset that he starts a fight or doesn’t talk to you.
9. He doesn’t answer your calls
Maybe you used to spend most of your time on the phone, talking to each other for ages. Now, he doesn’t even want you to send him a text when he’s away from you.
When you call, he doesn’t answer, and if you text him, it takes him forever to respond, if he even responds to begin with.
He’s showing you that you’re not important to him the way you used to be, which is one of the signs your husband isn’t in love with you any longer.
Maybe he even hides his phone or takes it with him whenever he leaves the room. If he’s overly protective of it, it’s also one of the signs he may be cheating on you.
10. He never misses you when you’re apart
Whenever you spend some time apart, it’s clear that he doesn’t miss you. He doesn’t look forward to seeing you and seems to prefer being away from you.
When you reunite after being apart, he doesn’t ask how you were without him. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t want to talk about what he was doing while he was gone either.
While he’s away, he never calls to check on you, and instead of sounding like he would like you to be there, he seems relieved to have some time away from you.
These signs are very concerning and indicate a big problem in your relationship. It’s understandable that you’re not in the honeymoon phase anymore but your husband should care enough to miss you.
11. He doesn’t like talking about the future with you
You used to plan the future together and as a matter of fact, you enjoyed talking about it. Your plans for the future were full of your goals and dreams and you wanted a better life together.
Maybe you planned to start a family, travel, or move to a different neighborhood. Now, you don’t even mention the future and it’s like you don’t think that your marriage even has one.
This is one of the signs your marriage is over for your man and he has already checked out. You’re still in a relationship but it’s like you’ve both accepted that it’s going to end.
12. One of the worrying signs your husband isn’t in love with you is if he doesn’t respect you
Love and respect go hand in hand, or at least they should, so if the respect is gone from your marriage, the love is probably over too.
Your husband constantly disrespects you and it shows even in the little things he does.
Maybe he gets home late from work without letting you know that he was going for drinks afterward or perhaps he keeps being dishonest and you constantly catch him lying to you.
Maybe he uses your shared bank account without letting you know or explaining what he’s paying for.
There are a lot of ways your husband may disrespect you but all of them mean the same thing… Your husband isn’t in love with you.
13. He doesn’t even try to remember or celebrate important dates
Let’s face it, we remember the things that are truly important to us.
There are so many husbands who don’t care to remember special dates, though. Anniversaries and birthdays turn into fights and tears instead of celebrations.
Your husband doesn’t even remember things such as a big meeting you have at work or a doctor’s appointment. Unless you remind him of it and repeat it a few times, he’s not going to remember and you already know that.
He doesn’t care enough to remember these days even if you make it clear how much they matter to you, which is a very painful sign your husband isn’t in love with you any longer.
If he was, he would try to use every chance he gets to celebrate your love and make you feel good.
14. He doesn’t even put any effort into the relationship anymore
Ultimately, your husband doesn’t bother to put any effort into the marriage anymore. It’s like he checked out both physically and emotionally.
He lets you take care of everything and isn’t willing to work on fixing things. Instead, he’s allowing your marriage to gradually fail without blinking an eye.
You feel like you’re in a one-sided relationship. The whole marriage depends on your willingness to fight for it because your husband gave up on it already.
You won’t be able to go on like this for much longer if he doesn’t snap out of it and start fighting for you again.
15. He looks at other women and flirts with them
Your husband doesn’t hide that he flirts with other women and maybe he even does it in front of you. He never compliments you but he doesn’t mind complimenting random women he meets.
You catch him staring at other women and he doesn’t even care that it bothers you.
Whether he does this intentionally or not, he’s clearly sending you a message… He doesn’t care about you anymore and he is attracted to other women.
Maybe he’s already searching for your replacement or has already cheated on you. Even if you try to tolerate or ignore this, you won’t be able to keep doing so for long.
When your husband doesn’t respect you enough to at least try to hide his cheating tendencies, it’s one of the signs you’re ready for divorce.
16. One of the clear signs your husband isn’t in love with you is if he’s not jealous
Maybe you tried making your husband jealous by flirting with someone else but he didn’t even react to it. He doesn’t mind you flirting with another man because he’s not in love with you anymore.
It wouldn’t hurt him if some other guy stole you away from him, so other men aren’t a threat to him.
On the other hand, he may just not show that it bothers him, and in that case, flirting with other people will just lead to resentment in marriage.
This is not to be taken lightly because resentment can easily ruin a relationship.
17. He refuses to talk about the problem
When you try to talk to him about the issue in your marriage, he refuses to have that conversation. He doesn’t want to acknowledge there’s a problem, let alone try to fix it.
Maybe he’s just waiting for your marriage to fall apart on its own so he won’t have to be the bad guy who leaves. If he’s not interested in trying to solve the difficulties in your marriage, it may really be over.
Your problems aren’t going to solve themselves and things are just going to get worse.
He’ll have to talk to you and you’ll need to seek help together if he doesn’t want your marriage to end. If he’s not willing to do that, he clearly doesn’t care anymore.
18. He blames you for everything
According to him, everything is your fault. It’s your fault that your marriage is falling apart because you pushed him away or you’re the one to blame because you changed and don’t try hard enough anymore.
It’s your fault that he’s not the same man anymore and you don’t accept him for who he’s become. You’re the one to blame for everything that’s wrong with your marriage and, as it seems, with the world.
Don’t let him make you feel bad about yourself because it’s surely not all your fault. You can’t be the only one to blame for your marriage falling apart because it takes two to tango.
Your husband just doesn’t care enough about you anymore and maybe he even blames you for that but you should not tolerate it.
19. You fight all the time or you don’t fight at all
A clear sign of a marriage in trouble is constant fighting but so is the absence of fights. Let me clarify.
All couples fight sometimes and they manage conflicts differently. The point is that they focus on fixing the problem and their fights lead to reconciliation.
Your husband and you constantly fight just for the sake of fighting and having an excuse to spend less time together.
Maybe instead you don’t fight at all, which is also a problem, as it’s just not realistic for a married couple to never argue. It just means that they’re holding in their feelings or don’t even care enough to fight anymore.
20. He talks about your marriage in a negative light
Maybe your husband avoids talking about the problem but when he does mention it, he sounds hopeless and even asks you whether it’s worth it.
He often complains and says he’s not happy anymore. Instead of trying to solve the problems you’ve been having, he’s ready to let them destroy your marriage, as he’s not willing to work on saving it.
As you probably know, men are problem-solvers. When they see an issue, they want to see the solution too but your husband is not like that any longer.
Also, when he talks about your marriage now, his tone is different, so instead of having a joyfully curious or a genuinely kind tone, he sounds hopeless and bitter. He seems to be ready to give up on your marriage because he’s not in love with you anymore.
Are you ready to give up or do you want to fight for your relationship? The decision is yours to make but don’t force your man to stay if he clearly doesn’t want to.