Think aloud
Married couples promise each other eternal loyalty but that loyalty is often questioned. Are there warning signs your husband has a crush on another woman?
Before you start thinking about getting a divorce, you should know that he may not be cheating on you… at least not in the traditional sense of that word.
Having any type of affair can destroy the trust in a relationship but an affair doesn’t have to be physical. If there are signs your husband has a crush on another woman, it could be that he’s having an emotional affair.
All people sometimes have crushes on others, even the married ones… but what is a crush? It’s not the same when you’re attracted to a famous movie star as it is your co-worker, right?
Your husband may feel attracted to a particular woman, which on its own doesn’t have to mean anything if it doesn’t lead anywhere. He may simply notice that she’s attractive but still be entirely faithful to you.
If, however, your husband starts having romantic feelings for the woman in question, it may be an emotional affair.
He may turn to her for support and a deeper emotional connection. It’s that person who’s a friend but not a lover but not just a friend either.
This is not so out of the ordinary but it’s dangerous territory because feelings get stronger with time. Taking things further with her could lead to a physical affair.
If your husband simply feels attracted to a certain woman without engaging with her, it’s normal. When he starts spending more time with her and seeing her name on his phone makes him smile, it’s more than that; it’s a sign of emotional infidelity.
Some people consider emotional affairs normal, while others think it’s cheating just the same as physical affairs. Who’s right?
This is something the two of you need to decide for yourselves. I do have to warn you that emotional affairs can lead to physical affairs, though.
Even if they don’t, seeing signs your husband has a crush on another woman hurts, which is why a lot of people consider emotional affairs as cheating, even though there’s no physical contact.
The problem with emotional affairs is that it’s sometimes hard to figure out the line between being friends and more than just friends.
A man and a woman can be just friends and a friendship involves feelings, so how can you tell when those feelings are romantic and not just friendly?
These signs your husband has a crush on another woman will help you figure it out.
If you’re a jealous type of person, you just may not like it that your husband spends time with some other woman. On the other hand, if he spends more time with her than with you, you do have a reason to be concerned.
Is she just a friend to him or does he have a crush on her? Keep reading to find out.
Signs your husband has a crush on another woman
1. He spends a lot more time on his phone than he used to
Your husband never used to spend a lot of time on his phone but now he can’t seem to keep his hands off it. There could be a reasonable explanation for this, however.
Maybe he’s doing something for work or simply plays games on his phone but what does he tell you when you ask him what he’s doing?
If he’s very secretive about his phone and even hides it, you have every right to worry. Maybe he uses his phone at odd hours or never responds to calls when he’s around you.
The next time he steps away to answer a call, simply ask him who’s calling. Pay attention to his reaction and know that he’ll be honest if he’s not hiding anything.
If his reply sounds fishy or he seems too protective of his phone, there may be another woman in his life.
2. He always criticizes you
According to your husband, you can’t seem to do anything right… Well, that can’t be right…
He always criticizes you, whether it’s about the clothes you wear or the food you cook. It seems like he notices everything you don’t do perfectly and ignores everything you do right.
If another woman has caught his attention, he can’t see the nice things you do to make him happy. He doesn’t acknowledge your value in his life because he may be comparing you to someone new.
Anything that’s new is always more interesting and exciting, so he takes you for granted. This is one of the signs your husband has a crush on another woman, even if he’s not aware of it.
Yes, he may not even be aware of what’s going on or how he started treating you.
Ironically, if he’s attracted to another woman, he feels loyal to her. Maybe he’s even trying to convince himself that she’s better than you to justify his feelings.
3. He’s always there for her when she needs a helping hand
If your husband looks forward to helping another woman without wanting anything in return, he may actually want something in return and not be aware of it.
He’s always there to help her with anything she needs, which is a red flag, although he may just be a caring and kind person who acts friendly to everyone.
Is he? If there’s only one woman he’s willing to lend a helping hand to, she’s probably his crush.
You can even test his willingness to be helpful by asking one of your female friends to ask him for help.
4. He seems to be less interested in you
Are there signs your husband is less interested in you? Maybe he used to spend a lot of time with you and loved the intimacy you shared.
Now, it just seems like you don’t mean as much to him as you used to.
This doesn’t have to be one of the signs your husband has a crush on another woman, though. He may be under a lot of stress or you’ve just been together for so long that he doesn’t appreciate you as much as he once did.
It may be a sign he’s romantically interested in someone else, however. When he doesn’t show you the romance and love he used to, he may be showing it to another woman.
5. He refuses to tell you how he spends his money
Married couples share everything, including money… so you should know how your husband spends it.
If he has started to hide his receipts and bills from you, it’s a huge red flag.
When a man falls for a woman, he often wants to impress her with money and gifts. Has he been spending money on another woman?
Maybe they went for a ‘business dinner’ or he ‘buys flowers for all his female friends’…
What does he say when you ask him about the money he spent? If he accuses you of being mistrustful instead of giving you a direct answer, it’s a bad sign.
6. He shows more interest in you than he ever did
It may sound strange but your husband could show you even more interest when he’s interested in someone else.
Men tend to go over the top when they try to hide their infidelity, simply because they feel guilty about having romantic feelings for someone else.
Maybe he started surprising you with gifts, flowers, or romantic dates. What woman wouldn’t be glad to be treated that way?
Well, if this is not his usual behavior, he’s probably hiding something from you. Most likely, it’s one of the signs your husband has a crush on another woman.
He probably feels guilty about it so he wants to show you that you’re the one he loves. Maybe he’s even trying to make your relationship more romantic to prove that he wants to stay with you.
7. He acts defensive or edgy
Everything you ask him seems to annoy him and he gets angry at everything you do and these are both clear signs your marriage is in trouble.
When you try to talk to him about it, he just accuses you of being paranoid or jealous. In addition, he always blames you for everything he’s unhappy about.
This could signify that your husband has a crush on another woman. Even if he doesn’t, it’s a bad sign and there’s surely a problem in your relationship.
8. He gives her all of his attention
When this particular woman is around, your husband becomes someone else. He’s overly affectionate with her and acts differently when he’s near her.
Maybe he always wants to talk to her, even though he doesn’t really have a reason to do so. It may even be clear that he wants to give her all of his attention, as when she’s in the room, it’s like no one else exists.
Perhaps she’s just a good friend of his but you’ll be able to tell the difference.
9. He avoids showing you physical affection
Regardless of how long you’ve been married, your husband should still be glad to kiss and hug you. One of the signs your husband has a crush on another woman is if he avoids intimacy.
He can’t get someone else out of his head so he literally needs space from you. If he’s attracted to another woman, he’ll avoid showing you physical affection but when he’s around her, he’ll use any excuse to touch her.
10. He spends a lot of his time away from you
Suddenly, your husband has to go to a lot of business meetings or works late almost every day, which is surely suspicious.
Yes, sometimes these things actually happen because of work obligations but men often use this as an excuse not to spend time at home.
It’s actually very typical for cheaters to use work as an excuse. How can you know whether your husband’s ‘work obligations’ are just a cover-up story?
Talk to him about his job and ask him to tell you what he’s busy working on. Offer your help and pay attention to his reaction.
If he acts defensive and instantly refuses to accept your help, something’s up. You could even try a surprise visit to his office to see whether he’s really there.
Avoiding spending time with you is not just an indication that your husband has a crush on someone… It’s a sign of a big problem and may even be a sign of a physical affair and not just an emotional one.
Maybe he has an attractive new co-worker, though, and in that case, perhaps he’s just attracted to her and isn’t having a physical affair yet.
11. He makes more effort to look good
Maybe your husband didn’t use to care about his appearance but suddenly, it means a lot to him to look his best. This is often a sign that he’s trying to impress another woman.
Is he spending more time getting ready before going to work? Perhaps he makes sure to have perfect hair and puts on a new cologne before going somewhere?
If he’s putting more time and effort into his appearance, he may be doing it for his crush.
Maybe he suddenly started going to the gym on a regular basis instead, even though it didn’t interest him before. It’s very likely that he wants to look attractive for someone other than you.
12. He makes sure not to leave any evidence in his phone history
Maybe you looked at your husband’s phone and found nothing… literally nothing. He deleted his phone history so that there are no messages or calls showing.
When you see him using his phone, however, you hear notifications and see him smiling. Unfortunately, this is a clear sign that he has a crush on someone.
When someone is secretive about their phone in front of their spouse, it’s alarming. It may even be a sign that he’s already cheating on you.
13. He lies about where he’s been
It’s extremely unlikely that your husband will come right out and tell you that he has a crush on someone. Inevitably, this means that when he’s been with another woman, he’ll lie about it.
Maybe he’s already cheating but maybe she’s still just a crush. Either way, there’s no room for lies in a marriage.
If he just has an innocent crush on someone, he should either end the relationship with that person or tell you about it.
Naturally, most people won’t say something like that, so he’ll try to avoid her if he sees that it can lead to infidelity. If he avoids you instead and already started creating alibis for his whereabouts, it can be very upsetting.
14. He’s very nervous around you
Your husband has no reason to act nervous around you since you’re a married couple. If he’s hiding something from you, he will act that way, though.
If you know the name of the woman he may have a crush on, try casually mentioning her name. In case she really is his crush, he’ll act defensive and jumpy at the mention of it.
He may even try to quickly change the subject.
While you’re worried about thoughts like, “My husband hates me,” he’s worried by thoughts such as, “My wife knows I’m not entirely faithful to her,” and this causes nervous behavior.
15. He questions your loyalty
Cheaters often accuse their partners of cheating so your husband may act overly jealous and accuse you of infidelity for no valid reason.
Even if his crush is more than a crush, he won’t want to lose you. He basically wants to have his cake and eat it too, which is why most men don’t leave their wife for their mistress.
It still bothers him to imagine you with someone else and the guilt he feels makes him question your loyalty. There are many signs of cheating husband guilt but unjustified jealousy is a very clear one.
16. He talks about her often… Too often
All people have the need to talk about their crush. If your husband talks about this woman, it may make you feel like your husband doesn’t respect you.
He may simply tell you a funny story he heard from her or mention her in random conversations.
The truth is, maybe he does respect you but he just can’t help it. If he keeps thinking about this woman without acting on it, he’s just like a boy who has a crush on his teacher.
The fact that he talks to you about her often indicates that he hasn’t had an affair yet. Sometimes, it even means that he’s not aware that he has a crush on another woman.
If he’s aware that she’s his crush, he may be pretending that he only has platonic feelings for her. Men don’t often mention other women in front of their loved one, so this shows that something’s going on.
17. He’s overly active on her social media accounts
Liking pictures and commenting on posts is perfectly normal but there’s a particular woman on social media that your husband seems to be stalking…
Maybe he writes flirty comments on her pictures. If he even saves some of her pictures on his phone, it’s a very bad sign.
The question is whether she responds to his flirting or not. Maybe this is just some random woman he finds attractive and he has no intention of doing anything with her.
If they engage in conversation, though, they surely have some sort of a relationship. It’s not hard to notice the difference between a friendly conversation and a flirty one.
18. He’s distant and avoids you
When a married man falls in love with another woman, he often becomes distant. Maybe he even avoids you and you don’t seem like a married couple anymore.
Whenever he doesn’t come home when you expect him to, he doesn’t answer your calls. You don’t even have meaningful conversations any longer and act more like roommates.
These are all clear signs of a big problem in your marriage. Your husband may be having an affair or he may have a crush on someone else.
19. He has changed and you can’t even recognize him anymore
Maybe your husband suddenly acts a lot happier than before or seems tense now. Any drastic changes in personality indicate that something else has changed too.
Something is causing your husband’s change in behavior, so what could it be?
Maybe you already know about something that happened so there’s no reason to worry. But if you can’t even recognize him anymore and he keeps you in the dark about it, it’s a big problem.
Maybe he has a crush on someone but perhaps there’s something else he’s not telling you.
20. He acts jumpy
Whether he has feelings for another woman or the intention of taking it further, he’ll be jumpy. He simply knows that what he’s feeling or doing isn’t okay.
This means that he’ll either be bothered by himself for feeling these emotions or by you for ‘letting it happen’.
Most of the time, he’ll feel guilty but will be upset with you because he wants to place the blame on you. Convincing himself that ‘you pushed him into the arms of another woman’ is his way of avoiding the guilt he feels.
For all these reasons, he’ll be extra anxious. He’s not the same person he was and he always seems on edge and ready to start a fight over nothing.
In addition, he seems to be ready to give up on your marriage.
You should definitely try talking to him, find out what’s going on, and consider whether you should give up too or try saving your marriage.
