“Am I intimating or are you intimidated? What are the signs you are an intimidating woman?”
We, as women, often view the label of intimidation as the worst thing that could happen to us. We’re ambitious. We’re capable of crushing our careers without sacrificing our family life. We’re setting our standards high and pursuing our dreams with absolute conviction. We aren’t intimidating, though.
Men might consider intimidation positive, productive, and even desirable, but women don’t. Women see intimidation as something they’re embarrassed of. When they’re deemed intimidating, they’re typically considered mean, unapproachable, and domineering. Women see intimidation as a threat.
Where does that disconnect come from? Society teaches women that they’re supposed to be agreeable and approachable. Women are supposed to be sweet, but not tempting. Women are supposed to be successful, but not powerful. Women are supposed to be ambitious, but not achieve anything.
When women are labeled intimidating, that’s not because they’re encouraged to continue doing what they were doing to get there. Quite on the contrary, they’re expected to change and contort to the mold the society has prepared for them. When someone deems you intimidating, it’s because you intimidate them.
Whether you’re tempted to change to appease others (don’t!) or you want to explore the reasons why people aren’t comfortable around you, we’re bringing you the surefire signs you are an intimidating woman. Whatever you decide to do, know that there’s nothing wrong with you.
10 signs you are an intimidating woman
1. You’re not afraid to speak up
“Whoa, she really knows what’s up!”
“She knows what she’s talking about.”
Next time you’re speaking up remember all the women around you that were told to stop taking up space, to make themselves small, and to shut up. Women (and men) who aren’t afraid of knowledge, power, and success are always going to support you for speaking up and letting everyone hear you.
You don’t shy away from letting everyone know where you stand, even when your opinion might not be in line with the opinion of others. You might be off-putting to some, but that’s because most people aren’t accustomed to women who speak their minds. You’re better than them, anyway.
2. You don’t seek validation from others
You might be intimidating, but you don’t waste your time waiting for approval and validation from the people you work with or hang out with. You’re confident in your choices, actions, and decisions, and you don’t need anyone to pat you on the back. You’re not above some support, but you don’t depend on it.
When you’re a strong, confident woman, you’re intimidating to people because you’re different from anything they’ve come by before. Women are taught to focus on fostering more gentle qualities, qualities that men find appealing. You, on the other hand, have no desire to appeal to others by not being yourself.
You’re more than enough exactly the way you are and you don’t see what’s wrong with not depending on other people for validation. You go, girl!
3. You’re financially stable
Nowadays, women strive to be financially independent to ensure they’re equipped with everything they need to go through life without depending on anyone. Needless to say, not everyone’s happy about women venturing out into the world and “stealing” their careers and paychecks.
Achieving financial stability can be such a rewarding thing to a woman, but most men don’t agree that women should be equally or more successful than that. Men prefer when women earn less money than them or spend less time working outside the home than them. Most men, to be more precise.
Girl, you’d be surprised how offensive financially stable women are to men (and even other women!).
4. You’re ambitious
Ambition might be one of the most common signs you are an intimidating woman. Women aren’t allowed to be ambitious because they’re supposed to abandon their careers when they start their families – apparently. Women are expected to abandon their dreams when they become mothers.
When people see how unapologetically ambitious you are, they’re confused. You have dreams and you’re not afraid to chase them. You have a great work ethic and you’re not afraid to work hard to achieve your goals. You’re all about your own personal growth, making money, and making a mark on the world.
At the end of the day, that can be quite unsettling to people who aren’t accustomed to such a powerful drive and who mistake your ambition for greed or power.
5. You’re focused on your goals
When a strong woman, an alpha female, sets her heart on something, there’s little that can sway her from her path. You know exactly what you want and you’re more than happy to do everything you can to get that.
Whether that means you need to work late at night, spend your weekends at the office, or suck up to CEOs and powerful people above you, that’s what you’re going to do. You don’t care what other people think about you and that’s what scares them the most.
When people look at you, they’re afraid to tell you what they think about you because they know you’re going to chew them up and spit them out. What a great way to get rid of coworkers who overstep your boundaries!
6. You embrace your independence
What can you say, you enjoy your company more than you enjoy spending your time with people who don’t deserve your attention. You have friends and you adore hanging out with them. You’re fond of your family and you’re more than happy to have them come over.
But you’re the happiest when you’re alone and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You take care of yourself. You paint or watch movies when you’re alone. You go to the gym or venture out for a walk. You have coffee at your favorite coffee place.
Before you even think of spending your time with someone else, you make sure you’re up for that, physically and mentally. You don’t fear solitude – you find strength and peace in it. But that’s what bothers people the most because people aren’t accustomed to spending time alone. You do you, boo!
7. You’re not swayed by what other people think
An outstanding trait of an intimidating woman might be that she’s not easily swayed by what other people think of her. You don’t change anything about yourself for the amusement of others.
Most people fall victim to the pressure to fit into societal norms and expectations, and there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re all human. We want to think we’re above doing things for the sake of other people’s acceptance and approval, but we’re not.
You, however, are. You walk your own path. You don’t follow the crowd, especially if the crowd doesn’t agree with your core beliefs. You’re not afraid to speak up and show your strength. You’re not stubborn or contrarian, but you recognize the importance of upholding your values.
8. You’re true to yourself
“Why, oh, why are people intimidated by me?” People are intimidated by you because you remind them of what they’re not. You’re authentic. You’re true to yourself. You’re not interested in putting up a facade to trick people into thinking you’re someone you’re not. People hate that about you.
Authenticity can be quite intimidating to people who aren’t used to transparency. Although you’re soft-spoken and gentle, you’re way too confident for them to be comfortable around you. Although you’re friendly and fiery, you’re way too domineering for them to accept you the way you are.
And that’s okay. You don’t need to be liked by everyone you meet on your journey, right?
9. You own up to your mistakes
When you make mistakes, you don’t shy away from them. Most people try to cover up the fact that they’re not perfect and that they’re not made to do everything right. When you confront them, they get defensive and accuse you of trying to defame them.
Rather than playing the victim, you own up to your mistakes and you hold your head high. You learn from your mistakes. You use them as stepping stones to becoming the best version of yourself. You don’t repeat your mistakes.
Self-awareness and accountability are some of your biggest strengths which bothers people. People don’t understand how a woman can be strong enough to acknowledge her flaws and work on them like they’re strengths and not weaknesses.
10. You’re not afraid of being alone
We can’t forget about one significant aspect of an intimidating woman – her comfort in her solitude. We mentioned beforehand that strong women aren’t afraid of being on their own.
More often than not, they’re accused of being anti-social. But that’s not the case. It is far more likely that strong women are equipped with a strong sense of self and an understanding that they can enjoy their own company without feeling lonely.
You value your relationships, but you’re aware that the relationship you have with yourself tops the rest of them. Your alone time might be somewhat of a necessity. You need your alone time for self-discovery and introspection. You crave balance – time for others and time for yourself.
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