Think aloud
Where there’s marriage, there’s divorce. We’ve had our share of doubts regarding the commonly thrown-around statistic stating that half of all marriages end in divorce, but that seems to be the case. Especially when you’re the one getting divorced. What are surefire signs of a rebound relationship after divorce?
When you go through divorce, you might think you’re never going to get over your husband or that you’re never going to amount to anything now that you’re alone. Divorce hits your self-esteem the hardest and that’s why you shouldn’t be surprised by your thoughts after signing the divorce papers.
We need to be honest with you, you’re going to spend hours on end stuffing your face, crying your little heart out, and mourning the positive aspects of your marriage. When you’re done doing that, you’re going to focus on the positive, forgive yourself, and move on – maybe even with someone new.
Rebound relationships after divorce are much more common than you might think. Whether or not they’re a healthy way to cope with emotions post-divorce, that’s up to you to decide. What’s a rebound relationship? What are surefire signs of a rebound relationship after divorce? Read more down below!
What’s a rebound relationship?
We’re pretty sure you’ve heard of the age-old adage that states “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.”
When you go through a bad breakup or divorce with someone you’ve been with for years, you might want to take time off to understand what went wrong, recover, and figure out what to do next.
You might need to blow off some steam, go out, and get drunk. You might need to spend your Friday nights watching romantic movies on Netflix and scoffing down one too many bags of Doritos. But everyone’s different and everyone goes through the stages of grief differently.
Before you condemn someone who resorts to rebound relationships to cope with emotions, know that rebound relationships don’t need to be unhealthy. Rebound relationships are reactionary relationships that happen right after a breakup and before you’re emotionally or physically ready to move on.
Now, that might not sound healthy, but rebound relationships can be a part of your healing process and help you move on. Needless to say, both partners need to be on the same page about the nature of the rebound relationship and be willing to communicate openly and honestly.
Rebound relationships come with a myriad of risks you need to keep an eye on, but other than that, there’s no reason why you wouldn’t be able to rebound after divorce. Proceed with caution, but by all means, proceed.
When you’re unsure of whether you’re on the market for a serious relationship or a rebound one, consider these signs of a rebound relationship after divorce.
What are surefire signs of a rebound relationship after divorce?
1. You’re not even divorced, but you’re back on the market
Starting for the most common sign of a rebound relationship after divorce, you’re back on the market before you’ve even signed your divorce papers.
Whether you’re hiding from the heartbreak that the collapse of your marriage caused or struggling with the gravity of the situation, you might be resorting to rebound relationships because you don’t know what to do.
Moreover, you’re not ready for a relationship, emotionally or physically, but you’re ready for a distraction that’s going to prevent you from falling into a downward spiral.
2. You’re moving fast with your new boyfriend
What better way to understand the nature of your relationship than to observe your behavior patterns? While there’s nothing wrong with going out, getting back on the dating scene, or going on dates with people that excite you, you need to understand your expectations of them.
When you’re with your boyfriend, maybe you’re adamant about meeting each other’s friends and family, posting about each other on social media, or planning your future together.
You’re moving fast because you’re scared to face the reality of your relationship. You’ve been hurt by the collapse of your marriage and now you’re worried that the same might happen to your relationship.
3. You’re comparing your new boyfriend to your ex-husband
Every now and then your thoughts wander to the way your ex-husband treated you and the way your boyfriend treats you. Perhaps you get a sudden rush of sadness when your boyfriend does something that your ex-husband never wanted to do.
Comparing the two of them might not be the best way to go, but that’s not a problem when you’re aware of what you’re doing. Contrary to what you might believe, when you start comparing the two of them every moment of the waking hour, that’s when you know something’s wrong.
4. You talk about your ex-husband all the time
Considering that your marriage ended recently, we’re not surprised that you talk about your ex from time to time – even to your boyfriend. Your ex was a huge part of your life and you can’t expect to erase every trace of him from your life right away.
You might have children together or you might go to the same gym. You might have shared custody of the dog or you might go to the same cafe before work.
You’re allowed to talk about your ex from time to time, but when you start talking about your marriage, your memories, or everything the two of you did when you were together, you might be using your boyfriend as an escape from reality.
You’re not over your ex and you’re not ready for a serious relationship.
5. You turn a blind eye to your new boyfriend’s faults
When you and your ex decided to divorce, your ego was badly bruised. Whether you wanted to get a reaction out of your ex or move on with someone who looks, smells, or dresses better than your ex, there’s a chance that you went with the first man who wanted your number.
We’re not here to talk down on you because you’re a grown woman. But maybe you didn’t take the time you needed to grieve the end of your marriage, manage your expectations, and get back out there with standards.
When you figured out what you wanted out of a relationship, you were stuck with your boyfriend. We suggest reevaluating your relationship and figuring out whether the two of you are together for the right reasons.
6. You wouldn’t describe your new boyfriend as “your type”
Rebound relationships can’t compare to serious relationships whatsoever. We agree that a rebound relationship with the right person can become something much more serious with time, effort, and energy – but that’s not the case with most rebound relationships.
Rebounds are there to keep you company when you’re going through a tough time. They’re temporary and they’re not defined by emotional depth and commitment the same way serious relationships are.
Because of that, rebounds often happen with people who are not your type. Sure, you don’t always have to date your type, but when you’re with someone who’s the complete opposite of what you typically go for, you might be trying to compensate for something.
7. You’re trying to get a reaction out of your ex-husband
Now, you wouldn’t be the first one to date someone to get a reaction out of your ex. However, you would confirm our theory that you’re on the hunt for a rebound relationship rather than a serious one after the divorce.
Maybe you want to get back at your ex or you want to see whether you can get a reaction out of him. Maybe you want your ex to DM you on Instagram when you post a picture with your new beau or you want your ex to drop by your apartment and beg you to get back together.
Whatever your reasons might be, remember that you’re trying to rebound with a person who might have true feelings for you.
8. You are on-again, off-again with your new boyfriend
What better way to know that you’re not serious about someone than to be on-again, off-again with them? We can assume that you’re acting out of anger toward your ex and that you’re rebounding because you don’t know what to do with the free time you have on your hands.
You’re on-again, off-again because you’re with someone who might not be your type or might not be the right fit for you. You don’t want to be alone, and that’s why you agreed to be with someone you’re not serious about. You deserve better, but you might need more time to figure that out.
9. You don’t see yourself with your new boyfriend in the long run
Deep down, you know that you and your boyfriend are not the endgame.
You’re having the time of your life getting dressed up, going on dates, and getting to know each other better. You’re obsessed with the attention you’re getting and the fact that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone with someone who’s not your ex. You want to be all in, but you’re not.
When you look at your relationship, you know that the two of you are not meant for each other.
10. You’re trying to fill the void with your new boyfriend
We’ve arrived at the end of the article with a hard pill to swallow. When you’re trying to figure out what the signs of a rebound relationship after divorce are, remember that rebound relationships serve the purpose of filling the void left after a lost relationship.
Now that you and your ex aren’t together, you don’t know what to do with your free time. You don’t know who to talk to. You don’t know who to spend your Friday nights with. You don’t know who to turn to when you’re going through a tough time. You’re seeking the comfort of a rebound relationship.