When you see the signs of a controlling woman in a relationship, a lot of questions come to mind.
Why is she so controlling? What can you do about it?
A lot of the time, controlling behavior is caused by insecurity. Maybe your girlfriend experienced some sort of trauma in the past or has low self-confidence.
Also, she may not feel confident in the way you see her or in the relationship itself.
When a woman feels vulnerable but doesn’t want to, she could try controlling the situation and she can do that by controlling her boyfriend.
Maybe she is afraid of being abandoned or betrayed, but she could simply be a narcissist.
Whatever the reason is that causes her to act that way, it’s not healthy behavior.
What can you do about it when you see the signs of a controlling woman?
If you notice these signs, you need to take the situation seriously. Try to set boundaries and make it clear what behavior can and can’t be tolerated.
Talk to her and let her know what sort of behavior is unacceptable.
If she truly cares about you, she will try to work on herself, but it’s best to try counseling too.
On the other hand, if you feel like you’re in an abusive relationship, you need to leave it.
Women can abuse men just like the other way around, whether it’s verbally, emotionally, or even physically.
Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help if your girlfriend is abusing you.
If you see the signs of a controlling woman but she isn’t abusive, there could still be hope for your relationship.
You both have to be willing to work on it to finally have a healthy relationship.
Here are the signs of a controlling woman that you should watch out for:
1. She tries to isolate you from your loved ones
Maybe she complains when you want to spend time with a family member or a friend.
The truth is, this doesn’t have to be one of the signs of a controlling woman, especially if the problem is your female friends.
She could simply feel a little jealous, insecure, or neglected when you spend a lot of time with someone else.
However, if she actually tries to isolate you from everyone else you care about, it’s a red flag.
This happens when she tells you who you can and can’t spend time with.
She could tell you that she doesn’t like one of your friends and that you shouldn’t see them anymore.
Maybe you rely on a family member for support and she tries to turn you against them.
If she does any of these things, she wants to make it easier for her to control you.
Who are you going to complain to about her if she isolates you from everyone?
Of course, you should be aware that a lot of people distance themselves from friends and family when they are in a relationship.
However, if your girlfriend makes you do that against your will, it’s one of the signs of a controlling woman.
2. She uses emotional blackmail to get what she wants
Does your girlfriend try to manipulate you but you aren’t even aware of it? She could be using emotional blackmail to get what she wants.
Also, she could use anger, tears, pleading requests, or puppy dog eyes.
A lot of women use at least one of these things to get you to do something, but without having the intention of tricking you.
How can that be? Well, if she makes it obvious, does it teasingly or jokingly, it could just be her being playful.
However, if she doesn’t make it clear that she’s doing it, she’s manipulating you. These manipulation methods are signs of a controlling woman.
3. She constantly criticizes you
It doesn’t matter what you do, because she always finds something wrong with it.
You try to make her happy, but she always finds something to use against you.
The truth is, all couples criticize each other to a certain extent, and it can even be a good thing.
However, there’s a difference between constructive criticism and making you feel unaccepted and undervalued.
If she constantly criticizes you and it makes you feel like you’re not good enough for her, it’s not healthy.
This is one of the signs of a controlling woman that could destroy your relationship.
You should definitely talk to her about it and make her see that she’ll push you away if it keeps happening.
4. She threatens to leave you if you don’t do what she wants
It’s one thing when a woman threatens to leave you if you don’t stop taking her for granted.
It’s a whole other thing if she threatens to leave you whenever you don’t obey her will and she could use these threats to get you to behave the way she wants.
If she constantly gives you ultimatums that she’ll walk away if you don’t do something, she’s controlling you.
5. She makes all the decisions for you
If your girlfriend decides everything for you, she is controlling you.
She decides what clothes you wear, what aftershave you use, and what you can and cannot buy.
In fact, she’s taken control of your finances and she doesn’t allow you to spend your own money on the things you like.
Of course, some men want women to make some of these decisions for them.
For instance, maybe you like her input about fashion and looking good.
Naturally, you could ask your partner whether it’s okay to buy something expensive when you’re on a tight budget.
However, if she makes all the decisions for you and she takes control over your life, she’s controlling you.
6. She constantly points out your flaws
Does she make you feel like you’ll never be good enough, no matter what you do? This is one of the signs of a controlling woman.
If she constantly points out your flaws and doesn’t support your wishes and dreams, it’s a red flag.
She always makes you feel like you need to change to win her love. Maybe she is trying to turn you into who she wants you to be.
This isn’t what love should look like, and you need to be loved and appreciated the way you are.
7. She reads your texts and demands to know your passwords
The truth is, at some point in a relationship, almost all partners go through their loved one’s phone.
We just can’t help it because we are curious about whom they talk to and what they say.
However, we do it only once or maybe a few times during the relationship.
If your girlfriend often goes through your phone, it’s something else. It’s unhealthy, controlling behavior that could make you feel suffocated.
If, in addition, she demands to know all your passwords, it’s a huge warning sign.
Sure, she could politely ask whether the two of you could share passwords and be open about what you do online.
However, if you aren’t comfortable with that and want a little privacy, she should respect that.
8. She wants you to do everything for her and she does nothing for you
When was the last time she did something nice for you? Is it always all about her, her wishes, and her desires, and never about yours?
She expects you to do everything for her, but she never does anything for you. You feel like you’re giving your all, and getting nothing in return.
This is not okay, and a relationship without reciprocity is doomed to fail. You deserve to get the same treatment you give her.
9. She is embarrassed by you
When you’re around her colleagues or friends, she demands that you act a certain way, which is one of the signs of a controlling woman.
In fact, she always gives you instructions on how to behave in public and around other people.
You want to just be yourself and maybe you joke around a little but she never finds it funny and looks at you as if you’re embarrassing her.
Sure, if you really act inappropriate, this could make sense, but still… you should be more important to her than what others will think.
It makes you lose your self-esteem and feel like she is embarrassed by you, which is not okay.
10. She constantly makes you feel guilty
Whenever anything bad happens, you’re the one to blame for it. Without any solid proof, she points out that you’re guilty of everything that goes wrong.
This shows that you’re dating a controlling woman who wants to manipulate you.
Do you know about the dreaded guilt trip that even some mothers use? It’s a very unhealthy tool that makes you do anything just so you won’t feel so guilty anymore.
You feel like you need to wash away all your sins, so you start behaving like a completely different person.
Guilt trips are a tactic that controlling women often use, and it’s really not okay.
11. She constantly wants to spend time with you
Sure, wishing you could spend all your time with someone you love is perfectly understandable.
However, when your girlfriend doesn’t let you have a life outside of the relationship, it’s wrong.
It’s one of the signs of a controlling woman and you feel like you can’t breathe.
When a controlling woman falls in love, she tends to become clingy. She wants you around all the time and takes you with her wherever she goes.
Not being allowed to have a life outside of the relationship is bad and unhealthy.
After all, a relationship where you can’t breathe is bound to eventually suffocate you and make you leave it.
Help her understand that you need a chance to miss each other and that you both should have a personal life too.
12. She acts like you owe her when she does something nice for you
Maybe your girlfriend makes you feel like you’re indebted to her when she does something nice for you.
She could give you a lot of love, or buy you something nice just so she could use it against you afterward.
You feel like you owe her for what she has done for you, and that’s what she actually wanted when she did it.
This is very unhealthy behavior, and it’s not how a relationship should work.
It makes you wish that she wouldn’t do anything for you and you should tell her that.
You don’t need to pay someone back for giving you love.
13. She demands that you always answer her calls and respond to her texts right away
Truth be told, we all want our partner to always answer the phone and respond to texts right away.
However, we don’t freak out and make such a big deal out of it when he doesn’t.
Does she always answer your calls and respond to your texts right away? Probably not and this is one of the clear signs of a controlling woman.
The thing about controlling women is that they are often actually selfish. She will want to be a priority to you, but she won’t make you a priority.
Maybe you even feel anxious when you see that you have a missed call from her because you know how angry she’ll be.
It’s not healthy and she needs to know that you can’t constantly be available to her.
14. She needs to know everything
You always have to tell her where you’re going and with whom, what you’ll be doing, and when you’ll get back.
She demands that you tell her even the tiniest details about your whereabouts when you’re away from her, which makes you feel like you’re deprived of your freedom.
She acts this way because she feels insecure and isn’t able to trust anyone. Why can’t she trust you if you have never given her a reason not to?
It’s not about you, it’s about her, and you need to talk to her and make her understand that you need a little freedom.
15. She always makes you agree with her and doesn’t care about your points of view
You can’t state your opinions because your emotions and values are always invalidated.
She constantly interrupts you and dismisses or doesn’t acknowledge your opinions.
You are never right and she always is. It seems impossible to convince her that she’s not always right about everything.
Your girlfriend dominates every conversation and doesn’t seem to listen to you when you talk.
When has she ever asked you a meaningful question and listened carefully to your answer?
She doesn’t do that? Have you ever told her how that makes you feel?
If you have, and she dismissed it or even accused you of not having valid opinions, it’s not okay.
16. She gets overly jealous for no reason
It seems like you aren’t allowed to interact with any other woman. She sees every one of them as a potential threat and she reacts like she’s gone crazy.
Maybe you were texting with a female friend or colleague and it made her overly jealous or she accused you of having an affair when a random girl liked your photo on Facebook.
She instantly made you convince her that you’re not cheating on her or hiding something.
You weren’t even flirting with this woman and you were just having a normal conversation or she simply liked your picture.
Maybe she even forces you to admit that you lied to her or had been unfaithful even though you did nothing.
All this could mean that she either doesn’t trust you, feels very insecure, or has been cheated on before.
In any case, she is trying to control you. You need to help her overcome this because you won’t be able to take it forever.
17. She thinks she’s better than you
Hierarchy is very important to a controlling woman. She has a need to be better than her partner in every possible aspect.
You will be forced to boost her fragile ego by recognizing and applauding all her achievements.
Once you start believing that she really is better than you, you will start turning to her for every little thing.
Sure, it’s okay to ask her for advice about something she knows better than you. However, is she really better at everything?
She makes you feel like a lesser man, and maybe you even feel like she doesn’t love you anymore.
18. She doesn’t respect your need for alone time
If you want to have some alone time, she simply won’t allow it. It doesn’t matter if you’ve spent the whole day with her and just want an hour to yourself.
Whenever you want some alone time, she thinks that you aren’t willing to spend your time with her.
In addition, she always starts thinking that something’s wrong when you want to be away from her.
19. She is always disappointed
She’s often disappointed with you for the smallest reasons. When she’s not disappointed with you, she is disappointed with someone else in her life.
It seems impossible to please her and keep her satisfied. Something always happens that completely spoils her mood.
You can’t seem to figure out what went wrong, but she finds a reason to feel disappointed.
It’s like she doesn’t know how to be happy or relax and there’s nothing you can do about it.
20. She teases you in a bad way
Your girlfriend teases you about the things you do and the way you look.
Maybe this doesn’t sound too bad, but she doesn’t tease you in a playful way; she makes fun of you, makes you mad, or makes you feel guilty.
This is another thing that makes you feel that you’ll never be good enough for her and it’s wrong.
If you are a controlling woman, you should be aware of the signs you really hurt him and his feelings.
You tease someone to have fun with them, not to make fun of them. There’s a huge difference and you should be aware of it.
21. She has a short temper
When she’s angry, it’s like her looks could kill, and she gets angry easily. It even makes you scared of her.
You don’t dare do anything to upset her because you’re afraid and you know what happens when she gets angry.
She screams and yells at you, and you just keep quiet.
Try not to be scared of her, and speak your mind. Stick to what you think is right, no matter how angry she gets.
If you feel like you’re being abused, walk away and find someone who isn’t so controlling.
22. She doesn’t believe in you
Maybe you have an unusual dream, such as having a singing career.
Does she ever support you? No, instead of supporting you, she makes you doubt yourself and your skills.
She never misses a chance to remind you that you’re not really qualified for what you would like to do.
It makes you feel like she controls your future and your wishes, and you’re probably right.
A controlling woman is often a disrespectful woman as well. She doesn’t respect you enough to believe in you and help you achieve your dreams.
Maybe they really are unrealistic dreams, but a woman who respects you will gently try to lower your expectations and still support you.
23. She badmouths everyone
Controlling women are often self-obsessed, which makes them blind to see the good in others.
She badmouths everyone just because they don’t function the same way as she does.
Because she knows that she can’t change them and force them to like her, she talks badly about them.
This is why she probably only has a few friends or none at all.
Does she think that she’s better than everyone? Probably, and it’s a very big flaw.
24. Things have to go her way
When something doesn’t go the way she said she wanted it to go, she’ll get mad.
She is dominant, so things have to go her way, and if they don’t, she will give you the silent treatment.
You also have to change your plans when she doesn’t think that they’re convenient.
If you don’t do what she wants, she’ll be angry, stop talking to you and bring it up later a hundred times.
Being with a controlling woman is hard and you only have two choices. Either you will help her change or you will leave her and find someone else.