Decoding A Man’s Behavior: 6 Signs He’s Using You To Get Over A Heartache

Understanding men
By Zoella Woods
👇

Breaking up with an ex-partner and thinking you’re over them and won’t have any feelings whatsoever is an imaginary idea that won’t come true. You need to heal and take time for yourself after a breakup if the other person meant anything to you.

Dealing with feelings afterward is tough for everyone, but it is especially tough for a man if he invests too much in the relationship, and suddenly everything disappears.

However, women have this sixth sense, they have this innate ability to feel when something is wrong in a relationship.

It’s a heartbreaking moment when you realize that you are in a relationship with a guy whom you love, only to find out he might still have feelings for his ex.

Maybe if you are being honest with yourself, there were red flags at the beginning of your relationship that you simply did not see. It could’ve been obvious from the start that the guy you are dating was not over his ex-girlfriend (and still isn’t).

It’s a sad truth, but most men and women don’t give themselves enough time to heal. They date as soon as possible, only to find out they’re not ready for a new relationship.

They jump from one partner to another, never finding the true happiness that comes from loving the right person.

By starting a new relationship without properly healing from the previous one, you are taking unnecessary baggage into it, and you can end up hurting someone just like your ex may have done to you.

What’s even worse is not knowing you are the rebound girl and living in this illusion that he really likes you. However, I think I can help with that.

Some of these signs might help you realize that you’re just the rebound girl and he still feels heartache

Source: Shutterstock

See, when you like someone too much, you can miss the obvious signs he is not over his ex. You’re so invested in the idea of getting together that you fail to see the truth that’s right in front of you.

But these following signs will help you realize that what the two of you have is just a scam. He’s simply using you to get over the one who broke his heart into pieces.

1. You’re all over his social media

A guy who still feels heartache because of his ex-girlfriend will want to prove something to his ex, and what better way than by showing off his new girlfriend on social media.

Every photo that he posts will be with you.

It may be because he really likes you, but another reason might be because he wants to make someone jealous.

Yes, it is pretty sweet and charming that he immediately posts about you and him, but think about it. Is he trying too hard to show you off? Maybe he has something to prove to someone and you are not even aware of it. Maybe he wants to show his ex that he has moved on (though he clearly hasn’t).

I’m sure you like the attention but just be careful about this whole situation. If he’s using you to get revenge then there’s nothing adorable about that.

2. He doesn’t want to talk about the past

Usually, when you’re dating someone, it means you are ready to open up to the other person. You are ready to talk about your feelings, needs, and each other’s past.

However, if your partner has a hard time talking about it, you might wonder what his ex did to hurt him so badly that he doesn’t want to mention her.

He may change the topic or shift the conversation to you every time you bring it up.

Trust me, when a guy really loves a girl and is ready for a relationship, he won’t have a hard time talking about anything, especially his past.

So, if it is difficult for him to talk about his ex-girlfriend, then please, for goodness’ sake, leave him, or else you will get hurt.

3. Little things remind him of her

Source: Shutterstock

Well, let’s just say this one is a no-brainer.

Let’s picture this: You two are driving down the road and suddenly he tells you how he and his ex always ate at a particular restaurant.

Okay, you let that slide, no biggie, but as the evening wears on, he talks more and more about her, and the date ends up being all about her and not about you two.

So, you may ask, how do you know whether he still loves his ex? Well, girl, if your conversations are more about her than you, it is a definite sign he is not over her.

The little things matter and they make us remember stuff but if a guy is ready to start a relationship, he won’t talk about his past experiences all the time.

4. He doesn’t talk about your future

I can see how talking about your future at the beginning of your relationship may be a turn-off, but a guy who is genuinely interested in you will make plans for the future, when it’s for, let’s say, next weekend.

I’m not saying he is ready to propose and start a family, I’m talking about the little things, like going on a hiking trip or visiting a museum.

Those little things will make you feel secure that he won’t leave you by next week.

A guy who does not talk about the future is not really serious about you and does not see you two together.

5. He moves way too fast

Source: Shutterstock

A relationship that moves too fast will end too quickly.

You might think there is something fishy going on if your relationship goes from seeing each other and texting every other day to texting and seeing each other all day, every day.

A guy can’t be in love with you that soon because he doesn’t even know you yet.

Being overly enthusiastic about a relationship is a sign he is not over his ex-girlfriend, and he is just trying to convince himself that he is happy with you.

6. He doesn’t want anything serious

You might think that he is head over heels for you, but maybe he is hinting to you that he’s not looking for anything serious. Maybe those calls and late-night walks are signs that he wants a rebound relationship and that is it.

Let me tell you something: He is not worth your time or effort.

You truly deserve someone who is fully invested to please you and fulfill every need you have.

Don’t settle for a guy who wants to have a casual relationship just because he hasn’t moved on from his previous one. You have so much more to offer, you just have to wait for the right one to come along.

Don’t settle just because he promises you kisses and beautiful flowers. Know your worth and know when it is time to move on.

The truth is, him not being over his ex has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with him.

You can be there to listen and support him, but eventually, he needs to decide whether he is ready to fully commit to you or not.