Think aloud
You love him and you couldn’t imagine your life without him, so how could he walk away from everything you have? Before jumping to conclusions, you should look for signs he doesn’t want to break up with you because you may be worried for no reason.
Naturally, when we love someone, we fear losing them. Sometimes, we’re even so worried that we’ll lose them that we get it in our head that they’ll break up with us.
Has your boyfriend said that he wants to break up with you? Even so, if there are signs he doesn’t want to break up with you, he’s not going anywhere.
If he said that he’ll break up with you, it might have been in anger or he was stressed out about something. Unless his actions have shown that he’s going to leave you, his words probably weren’t so serious.
This is especially true if he said something like this in a heated argument or when he was very upset. If you’re still together, he probably didn’t mean what he said.
Saying something like that in the first place isn’t okay, though. People should be more careful when choosing their words and threatening with a break-up isn’t fair.
If he has been doing this often, you need to let him know that he only gets to say it when he really means it.
On the flip side, maybe he didn’t even mention breaking up with you. You just somehow feel like the end of your relationship is near and you’re scared of losing him.
Maybe he started acting differently around you and you took it as a sign that he wants to break up with you. Perhaps you simply have this strange feeling in your gut that he’s going to walk out on you any minute now.
The first thing you need to do is stop yourself from overthinking. Your boyfriend may be going through something entirely unrelated to your relationship.
Maybe you don’t see each other as often as you did before but it doesn’t have to mean that it’s over. He may be dealing with a lot of other things or just wants to take things slow with you.
Don’t fall into despair just because you don’t text each other as often as you used you. Maybe you’ve been in a relationship for a while now and you’re not in the honeymoon phase anymore.
You both need to have a life outside of the relationship and slow down.
I understand that you need some reassurance anyway, so read these signs he doesn’t want to break up with you. If he’s showing many of them, you have nothing to worry about and your relationship is safe.
20 signs he doesn’t want to break up with you
1. He keeps in touch with you
If your man still keeps in touch with you on a regular basis, you shouldn’t assume that he wants to break up with you. Unless you’re only in contact to fight and discuss a break-up, everything may be just fine.
He doesn’t even get bored when you talk to each other for hours and you regularly get together. Your boyfriend looks forward to seeing you, so he calls to see when you’re available.
He texts you to ask about your day and find out how you’ve been feeling lately. It doesn’t take long until he checks up on you again and this shows that he still cares.
You have long conversations and talk about both everyday matters and deep and meaningful things. He tries to prolong each conversation by asking you questions and often messages you first.
These are all signs he doesn’t want to break up with you, so don’t worry about it. If he does most of these things, your relationship is on the right track.
2. He’s always honest with you
Of course, he doesn’t have to tell you every little detail of his day but he’s honest with you. He doesn’t hide things from you and when you ask him something about himself, he tells you the truth.
You know that you can trust him and he shares his thoughts and feelings with you, so he would have told you that he wanted to break up with you if he was planning to.
Did he say it? Unless it was said in the heat of the moment and things went back to normal afterward, he may really mean it.
However, if he hasn’t said anything about it, why not ask him? Maybe you’ve been thinking for a while now that he wants to break up with you but you never said a word about it.
Talk to him about it and let him reassure you.
3. He openly told you that he’s not going anywhere
Maybe you’ve already asked him whether he wants to break up with you and he reassured you every time. He told you that he won’t leave you but you still think that he will.
This may be because of trust issues and you should trust your man enough to know that he wouldn’t lie to you about this. If he wanted to end the relationship, he would have told you.
Maybe he had some doubts and you were able to sense it. Things were different between the two of you and you assumed that he was about to leave you.
When you asked him, he said that he wasn’t going anywhere, so why do you have this strange feeling that something’s off? People in relationships sometimes have doubts and that’s normal.
It may not even be the reason why he’s been acting differently. Something unrelated to you could be bothering him, so talk to him and let him know that you’re there if he needs your help.
He wouldn’t keep reassuring you if he wanted to break up with you.
4. You often fight but you work on finding solutions
Surprisingly enough, fighting can be one of the signs he doesn’t want to break up with you.
If you think about it, when people don’t care anymore, they don’t even care enough to fight with each other. They just resent each other in silence until they can’t take it anymore.
If you’ve been fighting but always try to work things out and find solutions, then you have a healthy relationship.
Fights should be about confronting each other, expressing feelings, and finding a solution. Name-calling, belittling, and other nasty things that happen in fights shouldn’t be a regular thing.
Ideally, it should never happen, so if it happens a lot in your relationship, you should definitely work on that.
5. He shows signs of jealousy when he sees you around another man
Naturally, your boyfriend isn’t going to flip out just because you’re talking to another man. What if a handsome new co-worker sends you a cute text, though?
If your boyfriend isn’t thinking about breaking up with you, he’ll surely get at least a little jealous. Maybe he trusts you completely but the thought of losing you to some other guy will surely upset him.
If he wanted to break up with you, he wouldn’t care if another man noticed you.
6. He does nice things for you
Maybe things between the two of you haven’t been great lately but he still tries to make you happy. He does nice things for you and still puts you first.
Maybe he chooses to watch your favorite movie instead of playing video games with his friends.
If he wanted to break up with you, he wouldn’t care about what you want. He would always choose his friends over you and do whatever he wants to do.
Instead of doing nice things for you, he’d slowly distance himself until he left you. Naturally, you can’t expect him to ditch his friends every time but it’ll be clear that you’re still important to him if he cares.
7. He’s not distant
Has your boyfriend been acting cold and distant lately? If he doesn’t want to let you in on what’s going on, you may have a reason to worry.
Try talking to him and think about what has recently changed. Maybe the reason for his behavior isn’t that he wants to break up with you.
Something might have happened and that’s why he’s been acting strange lately. If it’s been going on for a while now and he refuses to give you an explanation, he probably wants to break up, though.
Maybe he’s kind to you instead and often expresses physical affection. He kisses you and hugs you whenever he can, which is a sure sign he’s still crazy about you.
If he wanted to break up with you, he would be so distant that he’d even be physically distant. He’d avoid physical contact and any displays of affection.
8. He tries to change
You and your boyfriend have been having problems because of his bad behavior or a bad habit. You’ve started thinking that he’ll break up with you because you don’t think that things will ever change.
Recently, though, he has started working on himself and improving. People do change, they just need to want to.
If your boyfriend shows that he wants to change and make your relationship better, you shouldn’t be worried and you should support him in his efforts.
If he instead refuses to change, even though there’s something he does that really bothers you, you may want to break up with him.
You can’t change him, only he can change himself, but you can help him if he’s willing to work on it.
9. He doesn’t avoid talking about problems
Signs he doesn’t want to break up with you include wanting to discuss the issues you’ve been having.
Maybe the two of you still haven’t managed to work everything out but you’re not avoiding it. Your boyfriend talks about problems and wants to find a solution.
If he instead refuses or avoids talking about the problems you’ve been having, he doesn’t care enough about you. The relationship isn’t important enough to him to fight for it and he might have already given up on it altogether.
The point is that the issues in a relationship aren’t the problem but avoiding them is. As long as you’re both willing to work on things together, it has a chance of succeeding.
10. He really listens when you talk
You think that he’ll break up with you, so you need to speak to him about it.
Have you talked to him about the doubts that you’ve been having? If you have, did he listen to you or just ignore your concerns?
A man who cares about you will always pay attention when you talk. He won’t be busy with his phone or distracted by everything else around him.
His focus will be on you, especially when you’re worried about the relationship. Unless he has already repeated to you several times that he doesn’t want to leave you, he should listen to your concerns.
If he isn’t going anywhere, he should know how important it is to you to hear him say it.
11. He often takes you with him when he visits his family or hangs out with his friends
If your boyfriend wanted to break up with you, he’d stop taking you with him when he goes to see his family. He wouldn’t invite you to hang out with his friends either and he’d therefore exclude you from his personal circle.
If he’s thinking about leaving you, his friends probably know about it. He also doesn’t want his family to be forced to go through sad goodbyes.
That’s why he doesn’t take you with him when he visits his family or hangs out with his friends anymore.
If your boyfriend instead often takes you along, you probably have nothing to worry about. Even if you’re having problems, he’s still serious about you.
12. He’s there for you when you need him
When a man wants to break up with you, he won’t be there for you when you need him.
He won’t care if you’ve had a bad day at work and just want to cuddle up with him under a warm blanket. Instead, he’ll choose to hang out with his friends or find an excuse not to show up.
He’ll also start canceling plans and he won’t be there to give you a shoulder to cry on. He will simply act cold and avoid seeing you altogether.
If your boyfriend instead shows up for you, you still mean a lot to him. He’s still trying to make you smile and brighten up your day because your happiness is important to him.
13. He talks about the future with you
It’s clear that a man who wouldn’t want to be with you anymore wouldn’t make plans for the future with you either.
Your boyfriend likes discussing the future with you and you talk about your dreams and goals, which is one of the more obvious signs he doesn’t want to break up with you.
A man who wants to break up with you would avoid making future plans. If he invited you to his sister’s wedding that will take place six months from now, he wants to keep you around.
If you want to test him, you can ask him to buy concert tickets for the two of you. Pick one that’s a few months away and see how he reacts.
If he makes excuses as to why he can’t go or simply refuses to, he may be thinking about breaking up with you.
14. He still says the L-word
A person who wants to break up with their partner avoids using the L-word. Telling someone you love them means something and when you don’t mean it, it’s hard to say it.
One of the signs your boyfriend doesn’t want to break up with you is if he often says he loves you.
If he’s planning to leave you, he won’t want to give you false hope by saying something like that. Instead, he’d avoid also saying that he loves you when you say you love him.
So, this is also one of the ways to test how he truly feels about you. Unless you haven’t said the L-word yet at all, he shouldn’t have any trouble saying it.
15. He still enjoys spending time with you
If your partner wanted to leave you, he’d slowly start avoiding you. You’d spend less and less time together until you stopped completely.
This doesn’t mean that you should freak out if you’ve started seeing your boyfriend only three times in a week.
You shouldn’t see each other every single day anyway but if you practically don’t spend any time together at all, it’s already over.
Does your boyfriend make excuses as for why he can’t see you? Is he distracted while you’re together?
Maybe he also always has to run off somewhere and cut your dates short. If he’s avoiding you, he’s avoiding telling you that he wants to break up.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend still enjoys spending time with you, you have nothing to worry about. Maybe he says he needs space but still texts and that’s why you’re confused.
Give him some space and trust him if he says that he still wants to be with you.
16. He apologizes and tries to fix things
After you have a big fight about something he does, he doesn’t just storm off and go silent for a few days. Instead, once you’ve both calmed down, he apologizes and tries to fix things.
He wants to know how he can make things better and avoid making the same mistake again. You talk about it and make up soon after a fight.
If he wanted to break up with you, he wouldn’t care enough to apologize. Being the first one to say sorry is one of the surest signs your boyfriend still loves you.
If he doesn’t, he’ll just ignore the problem and wait for you to give up on the relationship because he already has. You’ll see subtle signs he wants to break up with you but he may wait for you to do it instead of him.
17. He seems happy with you
Does your boyfriend seem happy in the relationship? If so, you most likely have nothing to worry about.
Maybe he instead feels miserable or has constant mood swings. Again, this may be because of something unrelated to you but how long has it been going on?
If the relationship isn’t making him happy anymore, he’s probably thinking about ending it.
When was the last time you saw him smiling or simply looking joyful while he was with you? If it’s been a while, he may be having second thoughts about the relationship.
18. He doesn’t flirt with other women
A man who wants to break up with you may be searching for your replacement while he’s with you. If you suspect that your boyfriend’s cheating on you, he’s likely thinking about ending things with you.
Maybe he instead just flirts with other women or often looks at them.
Have you told him that this bothers you? If you have and he does it anyway, he probably already broke up with you in his mind.
To a man who doesn’t want to break up with you, you will be the only woman in his life.
19. He’s interested in whatever you’re passionate about
Maybe you like collecting vinyl records or are very passionate about crossword puzzles. Whatever your greatest interests are, your boyfriend will be interested in them and that’s because you are.
This doesn’t mean that he’ll do these things with you if he doesn’t enjoy them too but he’ll want to hear you talk about them. He’ll also use them to surprise you with little gestures such as finding the perfect record for your collection.
If he’s thinking of ending things, he’ll no longer be interested.
20. He forgives you for your mistakes
Are you worried that your boyfriend is going to leave you because you’ve done something you shouldn’t have? If you apologized and he forgave you for your mistake, everything may work out.
On the other hand, if he’s still holding on to anger and resentment, he could be considering leaving you.
Do your best to make up for what you did and give him time to forgive you. Good luck!
