Think aloud
“What if she likes me but is scared of getting hurt?”
This is a very valid question when you meet someone interesting and you actually develop feelings for her. However, she doesn’t seem to reciprocate.
You’re extremely confused, because she always says that she likes you and replies to your texts.
She even flirts with you! So why doesn’t she give you any actual signs that she’s interested in making things official?
She might have never told you that it’s because she’s scared of getting hurt but there are actual signs you can catch on to if you pay close attention.
Maybe she has a painful past that causes her to run away from vulnerability. She carries that trauma with her still and you will be able to spot it.
Even if she has developed very strong feelings for you, she won’t admit it, simply because she’s scared of getting her heart broken.
1. She never asks for help
Because of her fear of getting hurt, she doesn’t often show her emotions. Whenever you ask her how she’s doing, she always says, “I’m fine.”
You genuinely want to know what’s going on, but even in her darkest times, she never asks for help.
She seems like she doesn’t need anything or anyone to rely on.
When you see her struggling, she reassures you that she can do it herself.
It can get frustrating when she’s always there for you, whenever you are in need of help, but she refuses to let you help her.
2. She’s extremely secretive about her past
She always changes the subject whenever you bring up her past. You ask her questions but she expertly dodges them.
Something in her past was so traumatizing that she doesn’t want to revisit those memories.
Of course, you want to understand but it’s hard when you don’t know what’s going on.
However, if she’s scared to talk about her past but makes an effort to get to know you better it means that she likes you but is scared of getting hurt.
Letting you know what happened in her past means that she has become vulnerable. What if you find it laughable? What if you walk out of her life?
The only way you can help her open up to you is if you give her enough time to trust that you won’t hurt her.
3. She only flirts via text
A good sign that she likes you but is scared of getting hurt is that she’s only capable of flirting with you via text.
When she’s right there next to you, she gets extremely anxious and shy. She might not even know how to respond when you flirt with her.
You don’t want to make her uncomfortable, but it is quite confusing. When a girl is so open when she flirts over text, you expect to see the same IRL.
She does this because hiding behind the screen makes her feel safe and she doesn’t have your eyes on her.
That screen gives her the possibility to hide her insecurities.
4. She doesn’t talk about her feelings
When a girl is scared of getting hurt, she’ll avoid any type of conversation that involves feelings. You have never heard her start a sentence with, “I feel…”
She stays guarded on purpose or she might not even realize she does it. You can see her struggle with herself when you ask her to tell you how she feels.
She wants to be honest with you. She wants to tell you what’s going on, but she ends up shutting down immediately.
Something in her past has made her believe that her feelings aren’t valid or that if she lets you know how she feels, you’ll take advantage of that.
Telling her that you won’t hurt her like that isn’t going to help, it’s just going to frustrate her more.
Because of that, again, the only way you can actually get to her is by giving her enough time.
5. She pushes you away to see if you’ll come back
No matter how much she likes you, this woman is scared of being hurt, so she’ll test you.
You will fight with her, she will tell you hurtful things with tears in her eyes and you will just want to walk away.
In moments like these, your best bet is to hug her and keep her close. Don’t let her push you away if you actually like her.
She will see you walking away and she will be glad that she didn’t open up to you.
However, if you choose to stay right there next to her, she will let her armor down.
Even when she tries to push you away, show her that you are there for the long haul.
6. She doesn’t initiate physical contact, but doesn’t shy away when you do
You’re always the one who initiates any type of physical contact. Be it a hug you exchange when you go out, holding hands, or actually any type of touch.
You might be worried that you seem too clingy or too forward. However, she doesn’t seem to mind.
She never seems uncomfortable and she never tells you to stop.
On the other hand, she never initiates physical contact herself, which can confuse a person.
She doesn’t want to get hurt so she tries to keep from touching you.
Touching you is scary because then she would feel like she had become too attached.
7. Her insecurities slip through
She likes you but is scared of getting hurt so she very rarely talks about her insecurities, but once they slip through, she will try to brush your concerns away.
For example, she may say that you can do so much better than her, or she might even tell you that she thinks she’s unlovable.
You can’t just forget things like this.
When you hear her say these things, you want to assure her that you will be there for her, that she is lovable.
However, she brushes your concerns aside. She tells you that she, “… says things like this sometimes,” or something like that.
Pay close attention to moments like these, because they will show you what she truly thinks about herself and love in general.
This will be the clearest sign that she likes you but is scared to get hurt.
