Think aloud
The narcissistic stare can send chills down your spine and make you freeze on the spot. It’s something that can easily make you uncomfortable and squirmish.
Your skin crawls and you feel that unsettling, tingling sensation all over your body. It feels like you’re in a horror movie waiting for that final scare and the infamous jump from out of the shadows.
Well, to be fair, a life with a narcissist is a really horrific situation that you feel trapped in. When you’re confined by a narcissistic stare, all you know is fear and confusion. There’s something about it that makes your knees wobbly and makes you sweat like crazy. But, not in a good way.
This kind of stare is determined to damage you and hurt you as well. It’s done with purpose and not many people can pull it off. It’s called a narcissistic stare for a reason.
And, it happens for a particular reason as well. Most of the time, it’s almost the same cause that triggers the stare. People that are a victim of this cold-blooded act don’t wish it upon themselves. Yet somehow, they manage to attract it.
Sometimes, it might feel almost as if everything you do is the opposite of what you’re supposed to do. You try with all your might to keep away and not provoke that deathly narcissistic stare.
Unfortunately, it seems as if it’s the only thing you do. You’re not quite sure what is causing you this unsettling and uncomfortable experience.
There must be something that is provoking the narcissistic stare but you can’t put your finger on it. No matter what you do or whichever way you act, it doesn’t seem to deter the stare away from you.
What triggers the narcissistic stare?
This act can be triggered by the smallest things. However, we can’t be sure one hundred percent when talking about narcissists’ decisions.
They can just be unpredictable to the point where you don’t know what their next step is going to be and you can’t even think straight. It’s a difficult task to live a life that way.
You’re constantly in fear of the narcissist glaring at you and piercing through with their eyes. It simply digs the holes in your heart, mind, and soul.
So what is it exactly that might trigger the narcissistic stare? Is it something you do, say, or act a certain way? Could it be a flashback of their memory of some event?
With narcissists, everything’s possible. You just can’t be quite sure of what and how they’re feeling in certain moments. Especially when they’re experiencing some strong emotions (which they usually are).
Either way, you try to do everything not to provoke it and keep it from happening again. It’s such an unpleasant encounter; as if the narcissist themselves and their presence weren’t enough.
A narcissistic stare can be triggered by some of your behavior that’s unwanted in a narcissist’s eyes. It’s something you’ve done that they don’t approve of.
Or it can simply be their way to shake off some of the frustrations they feel at the moment. Either way, it’s not something you wish upon yourself.
Usually, it leaves you so baffled because it’s so intense that you can’t even think straight when it’s happening. You’re just standing there frozen in time, like a deer in the headlights.
Actually, you might even feel like a true deer, a prey running from its predator. It’s scary how the stare can be so void and blank, but intense and rigid with emotions all at the same time.
What’s so scary about the narcissistic stare?
The unpredictability is what scares you the most. You just never know what’s going to trigger it and when it’s going to happen, so you always live in fear of anticipating it at any moment.
Thus fear of the stare can turn into something even worse. The fear of your own self and your own actions.
When I say this, I think of all those times you’ve sat waiting for them to glare daggers at you thinking you must’ve done something wrong. Even more disturbing is when you start to think that you deserved it.
A true narcissist has the power to make you put all of the blame on yourself. So when you start to believe that everything’s your fault, the narcissistic stare won’t be a real surprise anymore. You’ll just casually wait around for one to shoot you right through your heart.
However, no matter how much you think you’re prepared for it, it always ends up making even more damage. What’s really scary about the narcissistic stare is something you maybe haven’t thought about before. Did you notice that you’re starting to just go with the flow when it happens?
This behavior can take place when you realize that you can live through a stare better than through some actual, hurtful words narcissists love to use.
You become content and quite happy with what you get, compared to what you’ve had before. After all, a narcissistic stare isn’t as bad as it seems.
Wrong. It’s entirely bad and it can definitely affect your mental health. It isn’t as profound as words and actions, but you shouldn’t really underestimate its power to hurt and damage.
How does it affect you?
It’s possible that you might cause that deathly narcissistic stare, even if you’re unaware of it. Now I know what you’re starting to think: victim shaming. Not this time.
There’s no excuse for anything that a narcissist does to you. It’s just the way that they see and perceive things.
Therefore, if you do something that’s considered completely normal, there’s a high chance a narcissist will think of it as inappropriate.
They’re very determined and know what they want. So if you don’t meet all of their expectations, this is likely to earn you some of that hard-core judgment, A.K.A. the stare.
Also, a narcissist is very driven by their emotions. It might not look like it, but they are unable to resist and fight them off.
Oftentimes, they’re just too intense and they don’t even know how to deal with them. Therefore, even the slightest inconvenience can make them turn on you.
It’s nice when you have someone to pour out all the anger on, eh? Well, it’s not so nice when you’re on the receiving end.
Either way, no matter the reason for the narcissistic stare, no one deserves to be treated that way. It can make you shake with different sorts of emotions just as much as regular verbal and nonverbal abuse.
The goal of a narcissistic stare
Everything a narcissist does, they do it for a reason. It’s just that they’re such calculated and analytical creatures that won’t miss a single thing.
They have it all planned out in their heads but they just choose to keep their ways a dark secret. That is until it comes to the surface.
Let’s be honest, a narcissist isn’t in love with you. Sure they might be in love with the idea of being in love. Sounds quite complicated, I know.
Well, guess what? They’re complicated as well. On the outside, they might seem calm and collected, but on the inside, they’re a mess.
As previously mentioned, anything and everything can trigger a narcissist to stare commonly without a warning. It comes out of nowhere and makes your body stiff as a rock.
For a calculated person like a narcissist, you might wonder what benefits does this stare give them? Is there a common goal that they work towards?
Unfortunately, everything they do is just to find a new way how to control you. They think of you as their puppet that they can play with whenever they please.
They want to dominate and isolate you from the rest of the world using various strategies such as love bombing and others. The stare can be a clear way of saying “Stand down”.
If you could take a look and see what’s inside their mind, I believe you’d be blown away. Some of the reasons why narcissists use that infamous stare can be quite shocking but expected.
1. They want to intimidate you
One of the most common reasons that a narcissist will resort to this evil technique is to simply intimidate you. It’s their way of getting a head start.
They present themselves as scary to get some sort of authority over you, and hopefully, make you fear them in a way.
Some people would even say that’s their defensive mechanism, but I just think it’s them being rude and unable to establish a conversation.
2. They want to pull you in
If you show fear in any way, they’ll cling to it and use it to their advantage. They’re like leeches, but they feed off of your fear.
People are usually hoping for a positive reaction when interacting with someone, but not narcissists. To them, fear is also a good response.
The intimidating narcissistic stare can draw you in like a moth to the flame. Meeting them for the first time, you don’t truly know who they are, so you can easily mistake them for being cocky or confident.
3. You’ve said something wrong
On the other hand, if you’ve decided that there’s just something wrong with this person, you might get a bad vibe and try to get away.
However, this doesn’t work well for them. That’s when the stare kicks in. At this moment, your gut’s telling you that you should run for the hills.
They probably noticed your discomfort and how you’re trying to get out of this awkward exchange. That’s when they’ll use the narcissistic stare to try and lock you in place and make you too uncomfortable to excuse yourself.
4. You’re too much for them to handle
This is one of the reasons for a narcissistic stare that would probably never even cross your mind. However, it’s usually the most common one of them all.
Narcissists are actually people with very low self-esteem and they struggle to keep their emotions in check. Therefore, they can get a bit confused at times, which makes them feel threatened.
If you’re confident and bright, a narcissist will notice it straight away. And only because they feel intimidated by YOU. That’s when they’ll reach for their weapon.
5. They don’t know how to approach you
Speaking of narcissists being unable to organize their thoughts and feelings, it just might be what’s pulling them out of social circles.
People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to be more withdrawn and unable to express themselves. Therefore, you might get that weird stare.
Sometimes, it doesn’t have to be a menacing thing. Perhaps it’s just their awkward way of trying to communicate with you.
Not all of us have great social skills, and that’s alright. Still, it could be a challenge in trying to depict whether he’s a narcissist or just an emotionally damaged person.
How to know if it’s a narcissistic or just an awkward stare?
After all these reasons that cause it, it might trigger a question for you: How to differentiate the two? There’s no such thing as a test that you can conduct.
When you’re in a room full of people and there’s a person that’s giving you this weird look, you can’t help but wonder what it means. What do they want from you?
Truth be told, you can never be one hundred percent sure of their intentions. Narcissists don’t have this disorder written all over their foreheads, unfortunately.
Still, you might figure out whether it’s a stare of a narcissist or just an awkward fella by engaging in a conversation with him.
In the meantime, look out for the narcissist red flags. They’re sometimes not visible at first, but once they start giving themselves away, you better pack up and get out of there ASAP.
