Think aloud
What happens when a narcissist replaces you quickly? Does he do that to anger you? Is he a changed man? Will the new girl get the version of him that you were never able to see?
When you’re freshly out of a relationship with a narcissist, it’s hard to understand what reality is supposed to look like. You’re a victim of his disorder, and he made sure to leave permanent marks on you. There were times when he was actually nice, but most of the time, it was nothing shy of torture.
You’re confused, considering that most narcissists tend to become weirdly desperate when you’re trying to break up with them. So now, you’re sitting here, wondering if he lied to you when he said that you’d be together, and all those times when he was threatening you.
So now that he’s posting photos of his new girlfriend, and you’ve heard from so many people that he has someone new, it’s frustrating. You don’t understand how he could do that so quickly without needing any time to get over your relationship.
For that exact reason, we have to dive deep into the psychology of a narcissist and understand why it was so easy for him when you’re still trying to heal from that entire relationship.
There are valid explanations for why a narcissist can replace you so quickly, and we’ll talk about all of them.
6 reasons why a narcissist replaces you quickly
1. He didn’t experience your relationship the way you did
When a narcissist replaces you quickly, it’s mostly because he didn’t share your experience of the relationship. I mean, he was the abuser! He had the time of his life; however, you’re left with so much trauma that you’ll have to spend eternity trying to figure things out again.
He was able to move on quickly and find a new victim for his abusive behavior because he’s had a wonderful time. This man had someone he could get validation from, and he was able to get what he came for. However, you were at his mercy.
You will need time to move on because you have to heal from all the abuse you’ve been through. You’ll have to go to therapy, talk to people about what you’ve been through, and then you’ll have to carry that into every new relationship. He doesn’t have to do that! He’s the same awful person he’s always been. A narcissist can easily move on to the next person without batting an eye.
2. He has to find a new source for his narcissistic supply
Do you know what narcissistic supply even is? It’s the narcissist’s need for validation and admiration. When he doesn’t get that, he can become aggressive, agitated, and even physically abusive. He doesn’t know that he needs this, but it’s obvious with the amount of validation he was asking of you.
A narcissist needs to know that the people around him, especially his partner, see him as an incarnation of God himself. So, when he doesn’t get that, he needs to find it as soon as possible.
That’s why it’s so easy for him to move on. When a narcissist replaces you quickly, he was probably going crazy with thoughts of unimportance and started losing his mind.
However, he’s a master manipulator. He can get under someone’s skin and convince them that they should be together. He creates this false sense of security for someone, and that poor woman falls for it because no one has ever given her this much attention.
What she doesn’t know is that he’s only using her for his narcissistic supply.
3. He has a sense of superiority
In a narcissist’s mind, he’s better than you, and he’s better than anyone else. So why would he wait for a new relationship when he can just jump into something and let you wonder what’s going on? Why would he wait around when you could beat him and find someone sooner than he does?
He believes that he’s entitled to attention and affection. A narcissist will make someone fall in love with him because he’ll convince this poor woman that he’s the best thing that’ll happen in her life.
With this sense of superiority, he goes through life just taking whatever he can get from people, and that’s why he replaced you so quickly. He convinced himself that you don’t matter and that he’s the grand prize.
When a narcissist replaces you quickly, it’s not because you did anything wrong, but rather because he believes that you’re not worthy of his mourning.
4. He doesn’t want to be vulnerable
One thing that we all know is that we go through an extremely tough time whenever we break up with someone. We tend to overanalyze everything, fall into a deep depression, and give ourselves time to heal and move on.
You probably don’t want to bring this amount of hurt into someone else’s life, so you’re trying to figure things out for yourself. You want to go to therapy to see how much damage the relationship has caused you and how much work you have to do on yourself to move on.
This isn’t a quick process at all.
The one thing that this type of work needs is vulnerability. You can’t work on yourself without being vulnerable and understanding what happened to you, and how you can improve from this experience.
However, the narcissist doesn’t see it that way. He doesn’t care about vulnerability or improvement. He doesn’t care about showing his true colors and changing anything about himself. A narcissist believes that he’s perfect just the way he is and sees vulnerability as a weakness.
In his mind, he couldn’t care less about emotions – either his or the emotions of another person. That’s why he’s able to move on so quickly!
5. He wants to hurt you
A narcissist will replace you quickly when he wants to hurt you. He’s not actually over you, but he does this to make sure that you’re suffering.
This is especially true if you’re the one who broke up with him. He doesn’t want to seem pathetic or hurt, so he’ll want to show you and everyone else that he’s above those stupid emotions.
I know that breaking up with him was probably a process that took you quite some time. It had to be done, but he did his best to make the breakup the worst experience of your life. Now, he’s moving on with another woman, but he’s still able to hurt you. If you believe that it’s unintentional, then you’re wrong.
He’s doing this because he knows how much it’ll break you to know that he already has someone else while you’re trying to process everything that happened. A narcissist knows that he’s done enough damage to his ex to hurt her when he moves on to someone else.
He may even try to get you to contact him or ask him for forgiveness when you start feeling all that pain. But, you shouldn’t even bat an eye.
6. He was already cheating on you
Considering just how much attention and validation a narcissist needs, it’s possible that he was already cheating on you and that this entire thing started long before you even broke up. He doesn’t have to be single to move on from you.
It was nothing more than a way for him to feed his stupid delusions and to continue breaking your heart. Now, when you look back at it, you are probably able to see the signs that he was cheating on you.
When a narcissist replaces you quickly, it’s because you weren’t giving him what he was looking for. It doesn’t matter that you spent all your time loving him. It doesn’t matter that you made him the center of your world.
All that he cares about is attention. And yours simply wasn’t enough.
Which is in no way your fault.
What can you do when a narcissist replaces you quickly?
Considering that you’re here, you’re probably wondering what you can do when this happens. He replaced you so quickly, which makes you even doubt your sanity. You want to know if there’s anything that could make you feel good about yourself again!
To be honest, the only thing that you can do is work on yourself. You can’t change this man, no matter how hard you try!
Don’t go against everything you know to be true just to try and save a relationship that had no way of being loving and healthy. He’s better off somewhere else, far away from you. I know that you feel sorry for that new girl, but don’t contact her!
Don’t just throw away all of the healing that you’ve done. Because every type of contact that you make with him, or the new girl will bring you back to the beginning of your healing journey.
And that’s definitely not what you want. Let him replace you, let him move on from you, but don’t let him win.