Think aloud
Broken is a harsh word, but in some cases, it is the only word that feels right. When you start loving a broken man, you’ll know just how strong the word can be.
When a person is really hurt, it is like they feel they just can’t function emotionally anymore.
Their needs change, their way of life is sabotaged, and they struggle to leave their hurt in the past.
Someone who is broken isn’t just having a bad day, or even just a bad week.
Their pain is ongoing, and if nobody helps them, they could experience this pain for the rest of their life.
It is not just that someone has hurt their heart, or that they’ve been upset by something minor.
When a man is broken, he isn’t able to put himself back together because it is too hard.
Broken people can’t perceive that things will get better, and they see the worst in every scenario.
They believe they deserve what they’re going through, even though often, broken people are the kindest, most sensitive souls that you’ll ever come across.
Their openness to emotion means their hearts are never prepared to be broken, and they feel it twice as much as anyone else.
It is a heavy burden to carry, to say the least.
With this in mind, they need someone who can support them. They need a crutch to lean on while they heal, just like with any physical damage.
That means you, as their partner, need to know a few things about falling in love with a broken man – especially if you’ve never been broken yourself.
Open your heart to this person, and you will begin to truly understand the meaning of a broken heart and how to heal it.
Loving a broken man takes strength, and it’s not always easy, but with my help, you’ll learn how to love a broken man and help him heal.
You should be on the lookout for the signs of a broken man because if your man really is broken, he’ll need you to understand him.
Loving a broken man is a commitment, it can be tough, it means learning to listen and knowing when to step back, and it requires patience.
Just like it takes a real man to love a broken woman, you have to be a real woman when you’re falling in love with a broken man.
If the signs of a broken man are there, he needs you to be there for him and learning how to love a broken man will help you help him.
Here are some things you should know about loving a broken man:
1. You will have to earn his trust because something bad happened to him in the past
Broken people don’t like talking about their past, so don’t expect him to ever open up about it.
Such people find it hard to put their trust in strangers, so only once you stop being a stranger to him will you perhaps be able to get him to open up to you.
You will need to earn his respect and trust to get him to open his heart and let you in.
All this is because the main reason behind him being broken is the fact that he had a trauma in the past.
That trauma could be anything from child abuse or losing his parents to having trouble getting over being cheated on.
The point is that the trauma he had has left a deep scar on his heart, so getting over it isn’t so easy for him, even though he’s trying.
He will remain unhappy and broken until he finds the courage to face the past but right now, he is trapped in a cycle which can’t easily be broken.
2. You will have to learn to listen to him
When loving a broken man who has been shattered into a million pieces, it is all about the art of learning how to listen to him.
He will likely need a lot of support, and he will probably repeat his problems to you a lot.
Your man knows you have the ability to hold him up through his hardest moments, and he needs your assistance to try to bury the past.
You might not be accustomed to being a listener, and that’s okay; it’s a learning curve you need to master.
It is a good skill to have whether you’re dating a broken man or not, so there’s no excuse to hang back and let someone else do the heavy lifting.
When you’re listening to another person’s problems, you might discover that they seem a little trivial, and you might scoff, thinking they’re being overdramatic.
Though the solution may seem obvious to you in any given scenario, let him try and relay the issue to you for now, because it does take a massive weight off his shoulders.
Some people are not equipped to deal with their own feelings as well as you are, and a person with no worldly experience will struggle massively to see their own problems from a sensible and logical perspective.
If it is a decision he’s trying to make, just tell him what to do, even if the answer seems to be obvious to you.
Decisiveness is hard when you have no way to process information, which is a difficult part of depression or depressive symptoms.
Taking one little thing off a person’s shoulders may seem like nothing to you, but it makes a massive difference to them.
However, people can be stubborn, and they may not be ready to take your advice.
People with depression are often loath to take action because they don’t feel they have the energy to make a change.
They believe that no matter how hard they try, everything is going to stay the same for them.
Such people don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is staring them in the face. If this is the case, don’t give up on him. Keep listening.
Abandoning him now is the worst thing you can do for his broken heart.
That is what his depression wants, and you can’t give in to it, or he will finally be beaten.
Stick it out, and you will eventually see a man who is learning to heal on his own, and you can then return to being normal people.
3. He doesn’t think that he’s good enough for you
He doesn’t think that he’s good enough for you, and you’ll often notice him comparing himself to others.
Don’t be surprised if he’s even ready to let you go just because he thinks you should find someone better than him, as that is one of the signs of a broken man.
His self-esteem is extremely low, and he doesn’t think of his life as valuable.
You will need to teach this man how to love if you intend to be with him and keep him around.
Help him understand that his past isn’t as significant as he believes and let him know how much you need him.
It’s always easier to deal with life problems and learn to cope when your loved one is there to help you with it.
4. He won’t ever let you near
This is one of the clearest signs of a broken man. A man like this will always have trouble with letting someone new into his life.
Earning his trust will be very hard because a lot of people have hurt him.
Whether you want to choose to be with a man who is broken or not is up to you, but you should know that he isn’t incapable of loving, he just loves differently.
If you put enough effort into winning him over, he could make you really happy; you just need to learn how to love a broken man.
5. He acts anxious
All broken men are anxious, and it’s something they have to deal with all their life.
He has gone through a lot of difficult things over the years, and that is the reason why a dose of caution is something he’ll always have.
It’s impossible to forget when you have been hurt so badly.
When it comes to being hurt, all he wants is to prevent it from happening again, and that’s the reason he acts anxious, especially when meeting new people.
What he needs is to bring back his faith in people and in life again, and allow others to make his life happier.
6. He is suffering from depression
People hurt him badly in the past, so it’s only natural that he’s depressed and needs to start recovering from what happened to him.
His heart has been broken, and now he has to find a way to help it heal.
He needs to start trusting people again and letting them in, to start feeling alive again. Otherwise, his life will be miserable.
Every human being is a social being, and we can’t function when we don’t have other humans in our life.
Be there for your man if he’s showing the signs of a broken man, like depression.
You need to help him see how beautiful life can be and show him that he has to let go of the past in order to move on.
7. He would rather be alone than around other people
A broken man would rather be alone than around other people, especially when it comes to crowds.
People have hurt him, and that scenario is stuck in his head, so it’s very hard for him to get back on track.
Loving a broken man can be very tough, but if what you feel for him is sincere, nothing will be able to stop you from getting the best out of him.
You just have to be patient, and everything will start working in both your and his favor.
8. He drinks
Some people deal with stress by drinking alcohol, and most broken men choose this option.
A bottle of alcohol keeps him company on sleepless nights when he’s thinking about those who have hurt him and the women who have left him.
When your man has this problem, all you can do is talk to him and try to explain that his problems won’t disappear if he drinks.
In fact, those problems will become even bigger once the morning comes, as his hangover makes him remember them.
You need to tell him that all of us sometimes have to start from scratch and that that’s perfectly fine.
Most importantly, let him know that you’ll always be there, regardless of what happens.
This man needs to know that you’ll be there to support him when he has to deal with problems in life and that you’ll always give him the helping hand he needs to find salvation.
9. He doesn’t have friends
A man who is broken doesn’t feel like spending time with friends, and this is a big sign of a heart that has been broken.
By not having friends, he’s letting the world know that he feels he’s better off alone, as well as that he needs time to figure out everything that’s going on in his head.
All you can do when he feels that way is let him go. Let him have some time to heal.
You need to show him that you’ll wait for him because he means that much to you.
It won’t be easy, but this man depends on you, and you can save him from the inner demons he’s fighting with.
10. He’s not ready to go the extra mile to see you happy
If he only met you recently, he still thinks that you’re just like everyone else so don’t hope that he’ll go the extra mile in order to make you happy.
People hurt him, and he wants to see himself happy before he can make anyone else happy.
You have to earn it if you want him to go the extra mile for you.
If you really care about him, show him that life isn’t as bad as he thinks. You need to show him that you’re not like those who have hurt him.
Bad people tried to ruin his life, and he needs to know that you’re not the same as them.
Show him that you’ll stay by his side, no matter how hard he tries to push you away because of his fears.
He needs to see that you’re not going to quit on him. This will mean more to him than anything else in the world.
11. He’ll only give you one chance
You only have one chance with a broken man, because he won’t give you any more and even the one you get is a lot to him.
So, be careful and don’t mess things up if you want to stay with him.
Be who you are around him and let him learn the ways you function.
Perhaps you have plenty in common with him, but you’ll need to work on finding it out.
He feels the way he feels, and you need to accept it, so be gentle with him. He simply can’t be different, no matter how badly he wants to.
He’s in the process of learning to love himself for who he has become.
You need to be his biggest support, which he’ll appreciate.
12. He only thinks about today because he’s scared of what tomorrow could bring
Thinking about the future scares him, so he only lives in the present, and that sort of emotional insecurity can’t disappear easily.
What all this means is that broken men aren’t really cut out for long-term relationships, because they can’t think that far ahead.
A broken man won’t consider getting married and having children, and this isn’t because he doesn’t want to, it’s because he’s afraid to.
He only thinks about today because he’s scared of what tomorrow could bring.
13. He is always cautious
You can’t ever know what could go wrong in a broken man’s head, so every second with this man is rocky.
You two have built something, and it took time, but you can’t ever know when his fears or his anxiety may destroy all of it.
His irrational fears and insecurities could ruin everything at any moment.
The reason why it takes so much time for him to build a relationship is because of the trauma from his past.
He is always cautious because he needs to make sure no one ever hurts him again.
This can be frustrating for you if you have the goal of getting married and having children, as you can’t wait forever.
The truth is, you can never know whether you’re wasting your precious time with a broken man because he struggles with making things official when it comes to relationships.
14. You have to have patience
A broken man is unable to process his own emotions, which means he needs someone to guide him and help him understand what he’s feeling.
Loving a broken man doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of yourself so make sure your mental health doesn’t suffer in the pursuit of improving someone else’s.
It is good to know that if you want it enough, and he wants it enough too, your methods will work and he will get better but this takes time.
It can take months, or even years, to help someone out of a rut.
Depending on what happened to him, he could be broken for the foreseeable future so be prepared to wait it out by his side.
Let there be good days and bad days, and try to take however he feels in your stride.
After all, someday you could be in his shoes, and you’d want someone to stick by you too.
15. Knowing when to step back is important
Everyone needs space sometimes. It is a fine balance, discovering when someone needs you, and when to leave them to their own devices.
If a person is telling you to back away, sometimes you understand that you can’t – they still need you.
To know whether this is true, you have to observe him carefully.
It is the habits of a broken man that will reveal if he can sustain himself alone.
People with depression, for example, often abandon their personal hygiene because they don’t care about it anymore and this is a common sign that they can’t be left to their own devices.
They need someone to remind them how to function normally, and if they’re feeling too low to do so themselves, they might need someone to encourage or help them to do it.
Sometimes, though, it is the opposite. You can see that he needs to figure something out alone, but he still clings to you for help.
As the emotionally stable one in the situation, you need to be able to gauge when it is time to step away, and when to stay close by.
16. Loving him is a big commitment
If you’re approaching the beginning of a relationship with a broken man, you have to understand what you’re getting yourself into.
Depression wants to destroy anything in its path, and it’ll try to take you down with it.
It is a big commitment to enter a long-term relationship with someone who has mental health issues.
It may also start to affect you in a negative way and make you more susceptible to mental health issues of your own.
Do you think you’re too sensitive to handle the situation? Then it’s best for everyone involved that you don’t stick around.
If you’re unprepared to love a man with all of your heart, you shouldn’t be with him anyway, but especially in the case of a broken man, it is not advised.
However, if you’re in, you’re all in.
If you think you’ve got what it takes, or you’ve been in a relationship with him for a while, stick your roots in the ground and be prepared.
You shouldn’t allow yourself to ever back out halfway through, because there’s no worst way to destroy progress like breaking a broken man’s heart all over again.
Go all in, or leave before things get too messy.
17. He isn’t cold and emotionless
He might seem emotionless and cold, but he really isn’t; it’s just that he can’t allow his heart to get involved because of his fear of heartbreak.
He’s just being rational, and he found a way to react to the heartbreak that doesn’t require him to use his emotions.
All this is justified considering what he has gone through.
Being broken isn’t something bad, it just means that the broken person has gone through more tough things than others have.
He needs a woman who’ll be able to show him that he can be unbreakable again.
