Think aloud
We’ve all been there. We stayed in a broken relationship for too long because we were afraid of admitting the truth.
We held on to memories from the past, thinking that our partner could change. Maybe one day, we would wake up and things wouldn’t hurt anymore.
Our relationship would change for the better and we would once again look like all those other happy couples.
But most of the time, you wake up with the realization that things won’t work out for the two of you. You realize that your partner isn’t actually meant to be yours.
And no matter what you do to try and change that, you’ll never reach the final destination of your initial expectations.
At that point, you have to make a choice. You either stay in a loveless relationship or you learn how to let go of the one you still love but who unfortunately isn’t meant to be yours.
If you choose the latter, you have to prepare yourself for a bumpy road. If you want me to be honest, then I’ll have to tell you that it won’t be easy.
There’s this person who meant the world to you; actually, he still means more to you than anyone else. You sacrificed a lot of things for your happiness but everything you did proved to be in vain.
Your efforts were pointless, as the two of you weren’t made for each other and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
You’re not meant to be together, at least not right now, so you decided to break up the relationship. You decided to do something good for yourself and leave the one who would never be able to give you the kind of love you need.
But letting go of the one you still love isn’t easy.
It comes in waves and some of those waves will be uplifting. They will make you feel free and high up in the sky, while others will knock you to the ground and take your breath away.
It’ll be hard to pick yourself up after them. This is what letting go of the one who’s not meant to be yours really feels like.
At first, it will hurt like hell.
Once you’re out of the relationship, the only constant emotion you’ll feel will be pain. It sounds scary but it’s the sad truth.
Every move you make will remind you of your ex. Even when you give your best to occupy yourself with something so you don’t think about him, reminders of him will still make sure to follow you.
All of the songs you hear will have his name written all over them, all of the movies you watch will make you think of him, and all of the conversations you lead with your friends will sound much like the ones you had with him.
You’ll feel like he’s become a ghost who keeps following you everywhere you go. You’re in too much pain to even think about him but still, there he is, in everything you say or do.
The thought of him strikes an ache through your heart. It feels like you’ve been stabbed with an invisible knife and you don’t know how to save yourself from the hurt.
And the thing is that you don’t need to be saved. Instead, you need to let all of your emotions out, you need to set them free.
Cry as much as you want, write down all of the things that are going through your mind, then burn all the words about him. Do whatever you want as long, as you allow yourself to express your feelings.
The worst thing you can do right now is pretend that you’re fine when you’re far from that.
After this stage comes a period of learning!
Right after the break-up, you’ll probably keep thinking of your ex as the one who’s meant to be yours. You’ll still see him as the guy who’s supposed to wait for you right next to the altar.
But once the second wave of emotions hits you, you’ll realize that things aren’t actually the way you’ve been portraying them. You’ll realize that your perfect guy wasn’t so perfect in the first place.
He had a ton of flaws you kept ignoring simply because you were passionately in love with him. But if you open your eyes, you’ll realize that the two of you were never meant to be together.
You were too different to make the relationship work and at some point, things had to fall apart. At some point, you had to walk away from each other.
And right now could be that moment. Maybe right now is the best time for both of you to move on with your lives separately.
The timing is wrong and you don’t want the same things from life. The plans you have in mind scare him and the ones he has make you feel like he doesn’t love you.
Because of that, it’s best for both of you to keep walking your own paths, without holding each other’s hands.
And then comes the healing!
Yes, your relationship fell apart but so what? It doesn’t mean that you wasted your time.
Instead, it only means that you learned a new lesson. You gained more experience and you now have a clear perspective on what you actually want from life.
Instead of hating on a guy who couldn’t give you what you wanted, you’ll feel respect for him for teaching you something valuable.
Just because you want to make things work with someone, it doesn’t mean that it’s good for you. Just because you want someone to be yours forever, it doesn’t mean that it’s meant to be that way.
And no matter how hard it is to accept this truth, at one point, you’ll realize that you’re doing the right thing. This guy you used to call yours will be a great memory but he’ll also be someone you can live without.
By this time, you’ll feel lighter. You’ll feel like you’ve finally healed from the one you thought to be irreplaceable.
You’ll realize that one day, you’ll meet the one who’ll walk into your life and stay forever. And you’ll patiently be waiting for that moment to come.
