“Leave him alone, he’ll come back to you before you know it…” And the truth is, men usually do.
Whether you’re thinking of distancing yourself from the man you’re with or getting him back, I’m here to help you. The same goes for if you just want the man you’re dating to finally commit to you.
There are situations where you simply have to leave him alone to win him over. How come?
Whether you want your ex back or a guy to commit, you’ll send him a powerful message by walking away.
When you do that, he will start missing you. Just leave him alone, he’ll come back to you when he feels your absence and realizes what he could lose.
Plus, when he comes back, he’ll appreciate you more. He’ll finally acknowledge how much you do for him and how important you are in his life.
This is how it usually works if the guy in question cares about you at least enough to miss you. So, it’s an effective way to get your ex back or to get a guy to commit.
You should be aware of something else though.
If you’re trying to win your ex back, don’t forget that he’ll probably be the same person he was when you parted. Unless something significant has changed in the meantime, you’ll encounter the same problems you had before.
Leave him alone, he’ll come back, but be careful because the problems you had with him might come back too.
Also, if you’re trying to get a guy to commit to you, know that you can’t force someone to love you. When you leave him alone, he’ll want you more, but it doesn’t mean he’ll suddenly love you if he doesn’t already.
Leaving a man alone is a powerful method to get him back, but it can’t fix everything. It can bring you the man you want, but it can’t change who he inherently is.
You know him best though. And if he’s the guy you want, there is a way to increase the odds of seeing him run back to you.
Let’s start with the way you act when you’re with him.
Are you constantly around him? Do you do everything he wants as soon as he wants it? Are you always available to him?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s very likely that your man takes you for granted. He knows that you’ll be around no matter how he treats you.
As you probably already know, people often don’t appreciate what they have until they lose it. If you suddenly show that you can walk away from him without looking back, he’ll be confused.
You’ll take back some of the power and he’ll see you in a different light. He’ll start appreciating the things you’ve done for him and feel the absence of everything you bring into his life.
Finally, he’ll realize that he’s going to lose an amazing woman if he doesn’t do something about it. He’ll start missing you and see that you don’t need him, which in turn will just make him want you more.
Eventually, he’ll regret letting you go and want back everything he used to have with you.
When you leave him alone, he’ll come back hoping that you’ll take him back. He’ll also keep his fingers crossed that someone else hasn’t snatched you already.
If you do get back together again, he’ll put more effort into keeping you around. Your man will show you more love and appreciation now that he knows that he could lose you.
Let me help you learn how to apply this powerful technique successfully.
How to leave him alone so he’ll come back
To walk away from a man and make him come back to you by doing so, you’ll need to do a few things. Some of the steps I mention here aren’t going to be so easy, but you have to hang tight and stick to them.
If you want him back, it needs to be perfectly clear to him that he can lose you. Only then will he finally show you the love and appreciation he should have from the start.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Cut off all contact
First things first, you have to cut off all contact with this man. I know how hard this can be, but you need to be strong.
Once he stops hearing from you, he’ll start missing your voice. He’ll miss your cute texts and all the times your name on his phone would make him smile.
When he gets bored at work, he’ll realize that he doesn’t have anyone to chat with. He suddenly won’t have anyone to send him sweet love messages to lighten up his mood.
Most importantly, he won’t have you to tell him how much he means to you. So, he’ll wonder whether he still means anything to you or you’ve moved on.
Your man will realize that you’ve actually walked away from him and it’ll hurt. He’ll be forced to realize what kind of life he would have without you being an important part of it.
This is why I always recommend the no-contact rule, but I understand how hard it can be to resist the urge to get in touch with the guy you like. So, if ending all communication is too hard for you, at least start by not being the first to reach out.
Don’t call him first, don’t text him first – give him a chance to initiate the conversation. If days go by and you still don’t hear from him, stay strong and stick to your decision.
Eventually, he will reach out to you and by the time he does, he’ll miss you a lot. Turn the tables and make him show that he wants you in his life.
2. Don’t be his friend
Whatever you do, don’t try to be “just friends” with this man.
Often, when women want their ex back, they try being friends. As a result, they get stuck in the friend zone.
You have to understand that you can’t be friends with your ex. Even if it’s not your ex but a guy you’re dating, friendship is not an option.
Do you have platonic feelings for him or romantic ones? As long as you see him as a potential romantic partner, you can’t really be friends.
If you’ve been through a lot together, it’s even a worse idea to try to be friends. You could end up giving him dating advice about finding another girlfriend and you surely don’t want that to happen.
Leave him alone so that when he comes back, he won’t want to just be a friend to you.
Don’t be overly friendly either, especially if he’s your ex. He needs to see that you’re doing great without him and don’t even need him in your life.
Only then will he start missing you and want you back. He’ll recall all the beautiful memories you created together and he won’t settle for being just friends.
3. Make sure your schedule is full
Having a full schedule is the easiest way to play hard to get and get him to reach out.
Start picking up hobbies, joining clubs, taking classes… Go to social events and live it up!
The purpose of this is to keep your mind busy and find fulfillment without a man. You won’t believe how more desirable this will make you in the eyes of others, including your man.
Do the things you’ve always wanted to try and you won’t even find time to cry over this guy. Besides, you’ll see that your life can be great without him, so you’ll be playing hard to get in a natural way.
Your man will see that you have a busy life and realize that your world doesn’t revolve around him. You’ll show him that you can be happy on your own and that you don’t need him.
He’ll see that you have an amazing life and he’ll want to enjoy it with you, but now he’ll know that he has to fight for that.
If you attend many social events and go out often, he’ll also become a little jealous. There will be a lot of other men around you wherever you go and your guy will be well aware of it.
Once he realizes that one of them might steal you away, he won’t let that happen. If he truly cares about you, he’ll try to find his way back into your life.
4. Become the best version of yourself
After you leave him alone, he’ll come back, but you’ll increase the odds by letting him see just what he’s missing out on.
Try to become the best version of yourself in every way. Start with your appearance, but don’t stop there.
After you do something spectacular with your hair, put on your makeup, and dress up, work on your mindset too.
Be sure to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re beautiful. Give yourself all the pep talks you need to keep moving forward.
Never forget that you’re a unique woman and you deserve love – don’t ever think that there’s something wrong with telling yourself that.
Repeat it until you believe it and realize that you can be fine without a man in your life. Be proud of yourself for trying to be better and don’t ever stop improving yourself.
From the clothes on your body to the thoughts you entertain, there’s nothing you can’t turn into beauty.
When you make changes you’ll also feel like you have a chance for a fresh start. And you need to use it – start fresh by making new friends and experiencing new things.
As for your man, leave him be. He’ll come back to the new you eventually… Unless someone else grabs your attention first because people will like you more.
What’s not to like when a woman does her best to look amazing and think positive? It’s what we all aim for, and what men want most.
If your man still doesn’t want you after this, he is not worthy of your time, let alone your tears. You’ll find someone better in no time.
5. Don’t beg him to come back
At some point, you’ll probably want to beg this man to come back and love you. This is something you mustn’t do, no matter what.
You will not get him back by begging, you’ll only succeed in driving him even further away. If you instead leave him alone, he’ll come back because you’re giving him a chance to miss you.
He’ll even be surprised that you’re playing it cool, so he’ll want to know what’s going on with you.
Let him be while you do your own thing, and try not to think about him too often.
During the silent period, you’ll want to reach out to him, so be prepared for that. You can’t let yourself beg him for anything – you don’t want him to think that you’re desperate.
It’s not going to be as easy as it sounds, but you have to stay strong and bite your lip.
He needs to come back to you when he’s ready, and you need to keep your dignity. Don’t fall into the temptation of begging him to come back, because it will ruin any odds of it ever happening.
6. Make sure your mutual friends see you’re doing great
Let your man find out that you’re doing great without him by hanging out with your mutual friends. Don’t let them see that you’re hurt, but act like you’re ready to move on.
You can even tell them that it’s too bad things didn’t work out with the guy. Make sure to say it casually though, like you don’t care anymore.
When it comes to your hurt feelings, that should be only known to your close friends, not your mutual ones.
Whatever you do, don’t let your mutual friends know that you’re trying to get him to come back. After you leave him alone, he’ll come back to you, but no one close to him should know about your plan.
All your other efforts to leave him alone will be in vain if your mutual friends tell him you’re still crazy about him. Let them know you’re past it and that you’re sorry it didn’t work out but wish him all the best anyway.
If he’s still into you, he’s probably going to ask your mutual friends how you’ve been doing. So, it’s in your best interest to send him a subtle yet powerful message through them.
Let them tell him that they’ve never seen you looking better and happier. If that doesn’t get to him, nothing will.
You can also get intel on what he’s been up to. When his name comes up in passing, they’ll probably let you know how he’s handling this time apart.
7. Don’t ruin the whole progress once he reaches out to you again
After you leave him alone, he’ll come back, but you can’t welcome him back with open arms just like that. Once he reaches out, playing hard to get is your best choice.
Your first impulse is surely going to be to take him back in a heartbeat – that’s what you’ve been working for, right? But don’t. Even if it seems like he’s ready to get the two of you back on track, you need to play it cool.
Before you let him back, remember all those sleepless nights you spent crying. Remember all the songs about toxic relationships that you listened to and do yourself a favor.
Don’t let him think that he can walk in and out of your life whenever he chooses. Even if he wants to come back, he needs to stay aware that you can be fine without him.
When he calls, don’t let him know that you were waiting by the phone. Wait a while before answering his calls and don’t respond too quickly to his messages either.
When you do answer his call, be polite and casual. He needs to recognize your value and if you let him behave however he wants, he’ll never respect you.
Social media shouldn’t be the place where you publicly display hurt emotions. The purpose of it is not to stalk your man’s profile either.
I’m telling you these things because we often do them anyway.
We try to make a man jealous by posting pictures, we check his profile every five minutes, and post sad songs. This has to stop because it could only ruin the progress you’ve made so far.
The best thing you could do in this case is to simply lay off social media for a while. You don’t want to post something you’ll regret and you don’t want to know what he’s been posting.
Social media can be used to make a man jealous, but if you overdo it he’ll see right through it. Posting pictures with other men and changing your relationship status might just make you look desperate.
The safest bet is to not use social media for a while at all, or just stick to the way you used it before.
You probably want to send him a few hidden messages through the things you post, but don’t fall for the temptation. The two of you need to have a proper face-to-face conversation, so try to keep quiet until then.
Not posting on social media will also prevent him from seeing what you’ve been up to. Leaving it to his imagination is even better than trying to make him jealous!
9. Don’t let your emotions overwhelm you
Leave him alone when he pulls away and don’t let him see how it’s affecting you. Yes, you will probably be an emotional wreck for a while, but he doesn’t have to know that.
You don’t want to send him late-night texts or anything else that you’ll regret later.
Men often get afraid of emotional women and we’re all very emotional. Keeping it together is difficult but it’s our only chance to win in the dating game.
Don’t let him know that you’re a mess without him.
You can always find support from family and friends. When you’re emotional, seek their help and let it all out – but don’t let your man know about it.
When you’re around him, play it cool no matter how hard it is. Don’t act out on your emotions, but rather make him see that he doesn’t have such a strong effect on you (even if he does).
Your man has to think that your world doesn’t start and end with him, so don’t prove otherwise.
10. Be honest with yourself
When you’re overwhelmed with emotions, you can’t think straight. If you just want your man back, you might be ignoring the reasons why you shouldn’t be together.
Maybe you’re wondering why men always come back and when he’ll call, but shift your thoughts to something else too.
Is your relationship really meant to be? Was it so great to begin with?
Would you be happy if you’d end up with him? What used to bother you about him?
Did your emotions for him start growing when he left, even though they weren’t so strong to begin with?
Yes, you can get your man to come back, but don’t forget to ask yourself whether you really want him to. Remember why your relationship ended and realize that the problems didn’t magically go away.
Your best choice is to wait for him to reach out to you first. Resist the urge to chase him – he needs to chase you.
If he’s not willing to do that, there’s surely someone else who will be.
Focus on yourself for now and leave him alone. If he loves you he will come back no matter what.
And if he doesn’t? You don’t need him and you’ll realize that, but leaving him alone will get him to miss you.
In the end, it will be his loss if he doesn’t act on his feelings.
This was a great read and very helpful thank you
This is very interesting