Think aloud
An INFP’s dark side isn’t easy to discover. They’re an introverted personality type, so it can sometimes be hard to decipher how they feel at any given moment.
Their four key personality traits are introversion, intuition, feeling, and perception. Moreover, this personality type is artistic and idealistic.
Also, they’re really caring and nurturing. INFPs are the people who wish to make the world a better place.
You’d never think that a person like this would have a dark side to them, but here we are. No one’s perfect and it’s okay to have a dark side to you.
Everyone has it, but not everyone shows it. That’s the difference. We all carry with us a dark side, and we can’t do anything about it.
The sooner we accept it and learn to live with it, the better. However, not all people will be pleased with what they get to see from our dark side.
Sometimes, it isn’t a pretty sight, but it’s what makes us who we are today. Humans are a puzzle and each part of us is a small piece that fits perfectly.
Therefore, even our dark sides and unenviable qualities are inevitable for being complete. Let’s see what we can find out about the INFJ’s dark side and what it is that makes this personality type complete.
What are INFPs like?
Before we dive deep into their dark side, we have to know what INFPs are like. As we already know, there are sixteen different Myers-Briggs personality types.
Each and every one of them is unique in its own way. All of them have a dark side to them, but we’re going to focus on INFP.
As you already know, this type is introverted, which means they’re generally quiet and reserved. They don’t really mingle a lot with others and so you will almost never see them living it up at a party.
They’re rather shy and withdrawn people who don’t feel safe getting out of their comfort zone just for fun. For an INFJ, fun is something completely avoidable.
They dodge going to family dinners and friend gatherings because they tend to be a bit insecure. Also, these introverts are not as good at socializing, as you could’ve guessed. Instead, they’ll be overjoyed with one true friend who stays close to them.
An INFP doesn’t like drama, but will nevertheless fight their territory. This is where the dark side of an INFP may come out.
We’ve already established that they want to keep everything for themselves. And it’s completely normal, unless it starts to take its toll on them.
However, they’re not quick to rush and ask for help from others. Instead, an INFP will only go back to what they do best – spending some more time alone.
What is the dark side of an INFP?
INFPs are also quite perceptive, which means they spend a lot of time following their instincts and seeing where they end up. Despite the fact that their intuition is a powerful motivator, individuals nonetheless base their judgments on logic rather than gut instinct.
Finally, INTPs value creativity, spontaneity, and flexibility, as well as living life to the fullest. Given their introversion, this may come as a surprise, but they don’t enjoy wasting time waiting for life to happen.
However, just like everyone else, this personality has a dark aspect to them. We don’t often see this, or any other side, for that matter.
They’re a highly private personality type, striving for their own comfort and wishes. Most of the time, they do their part of the job quietly in the far corner of the room.
However, even this personality type can lose control at times. Bad things can happen and before you know it, the INFP dark side takes over.
1. Lack of emotions
An INFP is known to come across as cold toward others, even those who only wish them the best. This is one of the dark sides of an INFP that affect them and others greatly.
This introverted personality type can sometimes have a hard time dealing with emotions. Oftentimes, they can feel flooded with feelings.
An INFP knows how to deal with them, but struggles to show consideration for other people. When they see someone in distress, they’re more than eager to help, but just don’t know how.
They don’t forge friendships that easily and that’s alright. Instead, they have a small group of close friends that they share their private lives with.
Unlike extroverts, an INFP doesn’t need a large group of friends to support them. All they need is a little wind at the back from someone close and they’re good to go.
That said, when they get overwhelmed by something, they tend to just shut down to others. INFPs cut themselves off from the rest of the world and become engulfed by their dark side.
2. Blaming themselves
Another dark side of an INFP is pointing fingers at themselves. This personality type doesn’t do well with failure and will blame themselves for it.
These people will see how everything that’s happening is their fault. This can only result in lower self-esteem and a lack of confidence.
However, they can also turn the tables around and start pointing fingers at others. They tend to have some trouble with self-criticism, which can manifest itself in various ways.
Because of this, they can make people drift further away from them. This doesn’t help their introverted self because they’re already locking themselves up in their own minds.
What this dark side brings with it is this weird obsession to constantly prove something. They don’t think they’re ever enough and that’s what they keep telling themselves.
3. Getting lost
No, I’m not talking about wandering off the beaten track or anything like that. When an INFP’s dark side shows up, it’s hard to mentally keep track of them.
They withdraw into their own world and try to cower away from the outside one. This personality type believes this is the best-case scenario they could have in order to help heal themselves.
However, oftentimes this reaction is known for having an adverse effect. INFPs tend to isolate themselves quite a lot and that can heavily impact them and their close ones.
This dark side of an INFP isn’t that visible because, after all, they’re introverts. How can they become even more introverted?
4. Overthinking
What do you do when you have so much free time and are all by yourself? You overthink, of course. Usually, women tend to do this the most.
However, it doesn’t have to be. An INFP can sit for hours, contemplating things that still haven’t happened.
This dark side of INFPs is definitely affecting them and others around them. Overthinking never brought anything good to anybody, right?
Overthinkers or INFP personality types may become paralyzed by their concerns, making it difficult to make decisions or take action (ever heard of analysis paralysis?) Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can all be exacerbated by overthinking.
This is only one of the dark sides of an INFP that comes through every once in a while. If you’re an INFP, please remember that overthinking brings you nothing good.
5. Selfishness
Another dark side of an INFP is when they’re being selfish, especially towards their loved ones. This could be in the form of not spending time with others, and instead retreating into their turtle shells.
INFJs are also often viewed as self-absorbed when they don’t share their feelings with others. Moreover, it’s heartbreaking to find out just how much they can struggle to open up at times.
Unfortunately, most of the time, it’s their choice to be by themselves. They withdraw from the real world and stay in their safe zone until they need to pop their heads out.
This is selfish because they can’t be there for others when they’re most needed. Sounds like the INFP dark side is a bit self-absorbed again.
6. Idealization
This is yet another aspect included in the dark side of an INFP. This personality type tends to idealize everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything.
From romantic to business relationships, an INFP will fall in love with the idea of it. Unfortunately, this can leave some of their partners feeling rather hurt and insulted.
However, this dark side of an INFP doesn’t care much about those people’s feelings. Instead, they’re more worried about the way they envisioned these relationships.
The same goes for work. An INFP can’t say that they’re happy with doing their job because they’re generally not. And they’re honest and straightforward with you on this one.
On the other hand, they can be a bit too blunt when it comes to something they like. This is uncommon for an introvert, but an INFP will have no problem jumping from one job to another.
This specific dark side affects many people surrounding INFPs. Although you wouldn’t think that an introvert could possibly affect so many people from different aspects and for different reasons, it’s true.
However, they’re not too bothered about what others feel or have to say. They just want to move on with their life as if nothing happened.
Here, once again, we rewind to that selfishness we mentioned before. The dark side of an INFP doesn’t really allow them to be there for other people in times of need.
They’re best at looking after themselves and making sure that things and people fit their picture-perfect view of how things should be.
7. Lies
This probably isn’t something that they’re proud of, but it’s definitely one of the INFP’s dark sides. Lies can get a hold of this personality type before they’re even aware of it.
When an INFP becomes stressed or something provokes them to behave differently, they can turn into real manipulators.
They do that by using all of these made-up events or things to cover for themselves. Also, they use lies to trick their minds into thinking that everything’s okay.
This can easily lead to delusions and a distorted image of reality. Moreover, they can look like a narcissist that’s gaslighting you.
I’m not going to lie, this dark side of an INFP makes them look pretty bad.
8. Acting impulsively
When INFPs go through some hardships, another dark side of them comes out. It’s showcased by having a hard time holding their horses.
They pile up all of their emotions inside of themselves because they don’t have a lot of people to talk to. Or they simply don’t want just anyone to be their shoulder to try on.
Either way, what they’re doing is no good for them in the long run. At some or other time, all those pent-up feelings will have to explode.
You would think that an introverted personality type would be much calmer and more collected. However, this isn’t always the case.
An INFP proves you wrong because in stressful surroundings they’ll just explode like a ticking bomb. They’ll hold all of that in and just burst all of a sudden.
9. Ruling out their feelings
We all need to be guided by our hearts most of the time. However, sometimes we need something a bit smarter than the heart.
This is where the brain comes in to help us. Solving the riddle has been bothering us this whole time – to follow the heart or the brain?
In many exhausting situations, an INFP will make sure they rule out their emotions so they’re only left with brainpower.
The INFP dark side takes over them in that they’re only led by simple logic. This can sometimes work in their favor, but other times, it can completely ruin them.
Blocking out your feelings is never a good idea, no matter what kind they are or how strong they are. We all know that the mind is smarter than the heart, but how are you then supposed to learn?
INFPs walk through life largely oblivious to their feelings. They aren’t especially interested in establishing friends or wasting time on small talk.
This personality type has a hard time connecting with others on a deeper level since they are uncomfortable sharing personal information with others.
10. They cut off others
The INFP’s dark side comes through in tough times when they don’t want anyone helping them out. This usually pleasant, helpful personality type suddenly becomes the Grinch.
They become grumpy and too good for everyone else. The thing is, they don’t believe or trust anyone to help when with their situation.
An introverted person doesn’t open up that easily to someone. Therefore, it’s also understandable that it’s easier for them to simply cut off others from their world.
Yet this doesn’t mean it gives them the right to do that. This is something this personality type also does impulsively and they may regret it afterward.
11. Perfectionism takes a hold of them
When an INFP begins showing their dark side, you may notice a hint of perfectionism there. This introverted personality type strives for the best of the best.
However, sometimes they fail to succeed and it’s all because of their high expectations. To make matters only worse, they can’t just give up and move on.
First and foremost, they have to complete the task so perfectly that no one can judge them. If it was a normal thing, you’d probably call it competitiveness.
The ability to compete with yourself is highly desirable and brave. However, it can also be dangerous as you’re constantly setting the bar higher up.
Success isn’t always guaranteed and that fact is what makes INFP’s dark side come out. The failure becomes too much to bear for someone who strived for perfectionism.
12. Ditching people
This dark side of an INFP can be traced back to their measure of selfishness. When this personality type feels threatened by anything that comes their way, they’ll ditch their partners.
It isn’t always necessarily in a romantic relationship context. It may be a business relationship that ends in disaster.
An INFP is usually the type of person who will go out of their way to help you fulfill anything you need. On the other hand, stressful situations can turn their world upside down.
Of course, this is no excuse to ditch people, but it’s their way of coping.
13. Overanalyzing things
Another dark side of an INFP shows up when they’re under stress or feeling pressured lately. They’ll happen to overanalyze things, which only makes them even crazier.
Introverts like INFPs have a lot of alone time they can spend thinking about every move they took, which can be detrimental to their health.
Most of all, they start to distance themselves from other people, leaving them isolated in their own bubble. This can be deterring to some people because it comes off as rather rude. You might think an INFP is ignoring you or something when they’re actually just too busy rewinding the scenes in their head.
INFPs are thus analytical and insightful. When attempting to make any kind of decision, they spend a lot of time gathering information, calculating the benefits and drawbacks, and attempting to consider every conceivable result of the scenario.
14. Judging others
INFP’s dark side has many downsides to it, but this might be one of the worst of them. This personality type doesn’t have a problem with judging others openly.
They tend to have all of these prejudices that everyone is evil and out to hurt them. While it’s true that introverts don’t trust people that easily, you never know if you don’t try, right?
However, INFPs seem to be on the skeptical side when it comes to people. They’re especially cautious around someone who they’ve only met recently.
All they want to do is make themselves comfortable and not leave their safe zone. A lot of introverts can’t understand that sometimes you have to go out of your way to make something happen.
However, it’s still better to not try at all than try with already formed opinions and prejudices. This is the least liked dark side of an INFP.
To wrap up
An INFP is a caring, loving, and nurturing personality type, just like any else. However, we all have our flaws and are allowed to feel a bit under the weather at times.
We’re all humans and we make mistakes; that’s completely normal. We’ve all been through some stressful days, but nothing you can’t get out of.
Still, there are some things an INFP dark side holds and uses against themselves and others. It’s an easy way to burn off some of the emotions they’re feeling.
However, it might be seriously damaging in the long run. Dealing with your emotions is crucial so you don’t end up a time-ticking bomb.
