Think aloud
What does it mean if he hasn’t contacted you in a month and what can you do about it? Is there one simple answer that can help you turn the circumstances to your advantage?
There could be many logical explanations as to why you’re sitting alone in your room and asking yourself why a guy hasn’t reached out to you for a whole month.
Maybe you’ve been casually going out and all of a sudden, he disappeared completely. Perhaps he’s your ex but you’ve been secretly expecting him to contact you or maybe you’ve been in a long-distance relationship that was running smoothly when out of the blue, your guy completely disappeared on you.
No matter what, you can’t stop thinking about his behavior. What can it mean if he hasn’t contacted you in a month and is there something that you can do about it?
Well, worry no more, since you’re about to find out every possible answer to your question. I’m sure that you’ll be able to get an explanation for your current situation once you read the article.
So, buckle up because this may be a bumpy road!
What does it mean if he hasn’t contacted you in a month?
Some of the answers you’ll read may sound obvious at first. But once we fall in love or when we like someone very much, we tend to ignore the facts.
We create an idea inside our head and keep it as our guideline and that’s because we’re afraid to admit the truth to ourselves.
After all, it means admitting the fact that we may lose something. And you never want to lose the person you like.
So, when a guy doesn’t contact you for a month, you may start making excuses for him. You may look for different reasons that can explain his behavior.
That’s why you need someone to be honest with you and tell you what’s actually going on. That’s the only way you’ll be able to face the truth and look it directly in the eye.
1. You broke up
Obvious or not, one of the first reasons why he hasn’t contacted you may be because you guys broke up.
As an ex-boyfriend, he doesn’t feel the need to call you, while you on the other hand have been waiting for him to make a move.
This may be a result of a misunderstanding between the two of you. Maybe you’re the one who thinks that you guys are only on a break.
This means that you don’t see him as your ex and you don’t see your relationship as failed. Instead, you believe that you’ll get back together, so you’re just waiting for him to take the first step.
A text message, a call, or even reaching out through social media – whatever he does, you’ll be eager to reply.
On the flip side, your ex doesn’t feel the same way. To him, this is a big deal and he doesn’t look at it as a break or a way of taking some time away from each other.
Instead, he counts it as a real break-up and therefore, he sees no reason to reach out to you.
Maybe he’s the kind of guy who never goes back to his ex-girlfriends. In that case, you shouldn’t even be waiting for him to call you because that’s probably not going to happen.
2. You decided to apply the no contact rule
It could be that you noticed that your healthy relationship isn’t so healthy anymore, which is why you decided to apply the no-contact rule as a way of trying to fix the issues between the two of you.
As the no contact period usually lasts for a month, the fact that he still hasn’t called you may be because he realized that he doesn’t want you in his life anymore.
Perhaps he believes that you’re not a good match for each other and he doesn’t want to give you another chance.
On the other hand, he may believe that you’re supposed to reach out to him first. You have his phone number, so why should you be waiting for him to call when you could do that as well?
If you see yourself in this situation then it could be the reason why he hasn’t contacted you in a month. You have two choices – to call him first or give up on him completely. It’s up to you to make a decision.
3. He’s not interested in you
Maybe you’ve been seeing this guy for some time. It’s nothing official but you think of him as a nice guy.
Actually, you want to give him a chance because you feel that things between the two of you could actually work. Your first date was amazing and he seems like a good man so why wouldn’t you try your luck with him?
But it’s been a month and he still hasn’t reached out to you. You’ve been wondering whether everything is okay and whether you’ll ever see each other again.
Perhaps you even tried texting him but he hasn’t replied.
At this point, you start to worry whether he’s okay. Maybe something terrible happened to him and you have no idea about it.
Well, the reality may be very different from that. It could be that this great guy you’ve been seeing simply isn’t interested in you.
This is one of the logical explanations if he hasn’t contacted you in a month.
And since you haven’t been official, he doesn’t feel the need to call you and give you a full explanation; he simply disappears the same way he appeared – all of a sudden.
If this is the reason, then there’s really nothing that you can do about it. Move on, as there’s no point in fighting for someone who doesn’t see you as a perfect fit.
4. He has someone else
It looks like the first time you saw him was also the last time, since it’s been a month and you still haven’t heard from him. You’ve been waiting for him to reach out to you but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.
Every time you check your phone, you pray to God that you’ll see his name but you’ve still got nothing.
If you’ve found yourself in these words, then it may be that your guy has someone else.
And it’s possible that he didn’t want to call you or send you a message to let you know what was going on because he wanted to keep his options open.
If things don’t work out with this other girl, he wants to be able to go back to you. So, don’t be surprised if he hits you up with a ‘good morning’ message months after your last call.
When this other woman leaves him or when he gets bored of her, he’ll most likely reach out to you since he hasn’t given you full closure.
By leaving you like this, he left the door half-open so he can come back whenever he wants. At least that’s what he thinks!
5. He doesn’t think that you’re a good fit for his life right now
If he hasn’t contacted you in a month, it may be because he doesn’t feel that you fit his life plans at the moment.
Maybe he’s not in a place where he’s ready for a serious relationship or perhaps he’s too stressed about a new job that he doesn’t want to spend time and energy on anything else.
In that case, messaging you is the last thought on his mind. You may not think that this is a logical explanation but I can assure you that men sometimes work this way.
Whenever they like someone, they fight for that person. They make an effort to keep them in their life.
But whenever he feels like he can’t take up the burden of a relationship because there are many other things on his mind, he’ll give up on you.
Maybe he’ll reach out to you in a year’s time, if he feels that the timing is better then. But unless that happens, don’t expect him to call and don’t even think about creating a good relationship with him.
This guy simply isn’t ready for that step and that’s why he hasn’t contacted you in a month.
6. He’s been occupied with other parts of his life
If he hasn’t contacted you in a month, it could be because your guy is dealing with serious issues. It could be that he committed a crime, has some sort of addiction, or even a debt that he needs to find a way to pay.
He has some serious problems that he needs to solve and he knows that bringing you into his life right now would be bad for both of you.
He doesn’t want to go through a heartbreak because there’s a strong chance that you’ll leave him once you see the scope of his issues. Plus he doesn’t want to show you his dark side since your relationship is still young.
Maybe it’s a good thing that this guy has been ghosting you, as who knows how serious his problems are. This was possibly God’s way of saving you from troubles you don’t deserve.
7. You haven’t given him a reason to call
There are always two sides to a story. What one person sees one way, another could see completely differently and maybe that’s why he hasn’t contacted you in a month.
When you went out on a date, the two of you might have had different impressions of each other.
Perhaps you liked him for being open and leading the conversation throughout the whole night but at the same time, maybe he didn’t like the fact that you didn’t make an effort to initiate it.
It’s possible that you saw that things were going so well and you had your cell phone in your hands throughout the whole night so your could text your best friend and inform her about the best date ever.
In the meantime, he found it rude that you were holding your phone and waiting for an opportunity to text someone since it looked like he was boring you.
The following day, he waited for you to let him know that you had a great time with him but since you were waiting for him to initiate the chat, you didn’t do that.
And now, he feels that there’s no reason to contact you since he must’ve been boring to you. On the other hand, you’re dying to hear his voice or hear the phone buzzing and his name written all over your display.
It looks like the two of you misunderstood and had different expectations about each other.
8. He doesn’t know what to do about you
Maybe your relationship with this guy has been a bumpy one. Over and over again, you kept going through phases of breaking up and getting back together.
One day, you feel like you’re over forever. The next day, you hold each other as if nothing has ever happened.
And now, your loved one has been indecisive over what he should do about you.
A part of him wants to always be with you and never let go of you. Another part of him would rather walk away for his own good because he knows that your relationship could never work out.
That’s why he hasn’t contacted you in a month, as he no longer knows the right step to take. The dilemma is tearing him up but he can’t seem to find the right solution for it.
9. He’s returning the favor
Let’s say that you got your ex back and it seemed like your relationship had improved for the better. Compared to your last attempt, things seemed flawless until a month ago.
All of a sudden, he stopped contacting you. It felt like he disappeared and there’s been no way for you to reach him.
You tried calling him but he ignored your calls. You tried texting him but he left your messages unread.
It had gotten to the point where you generally felt worried about whether something had happened to him but then last week, you saw him hanging out with some of your mutual friends.
He’s alive and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him so why hasn’t he contacted you in a month?
Well, if you go back in time, you’ll realize that you put him in a similar situation. Now, he’s giving you payback for something you once did to him.
It could be that he got back with you just to get revenge for himself for your past behavior. Maybe you can’t even recall how things actually went but it looks like this guy remembers everything.
He must be a vengeful type, so good luck with him if you decide to try and get back together!
10. He’s playing with you
With online dating, relationships have taken on a whole new form. Now, instead of giving yourself fully to the person you like, you need to be careful about almost everything.
Has he given you any red flags? Is he a manipulative or toxic type or is he just a player who’ll treat you like an option?
So, if he hasn’t contacted you in a month, it could mean that this guy is playing games with you. Maybe he wants you to chase after him or he thinks that you’re naive enough to let him treat you like a second choice.
The fact that he hasn’t called you in a month suggests that he’s playing hard to get.
He thinks that you’ll chase after him and do whatever it takes to have him back but I hope that you’ll make him regret thinking this about you as you’re worth so much more.
How to stay high-value if he hasn’t contacted you in a month
Now you know all of the possible reasons why he hasn’t contacted you or why he kept ignoring you.
But just because you’re aware of what may be going through his mind, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be having a hard time accepting the reality.
Your self-esteem will most likely suffer and you’ll have no idea what you’re supposed to do.
Should you call him at least once or maybe you could share a cute pic or a meme with him? That doesn’t seem too pushy, right?
However, if he hasn’t contacted you in a month, it’s important to stay high-value and prevent him from walking all over you. He had his share of chances and if he decided to ghost you, then he has to be aware of the consequences.
These are the things you can do if you want to show him your worth. And then, if he decides to come back to you, you will at least know that you haven’t been chasing after him.
1. Figure out your feelings for him
When he hasn’t contacted you in a month, feelings of sadness and separation may take over you. But are you really sad because you lost him or are you sad because you don’t want to be alone again?
Sometimes, we linger on someone for too long because they make us feel safe. They make us feel that we’re not all by ourself.
The problem is that you don’t realize that this doesn’t necessarily mean that you love that person or have strong feelings for them. Replace them with anyone else and you may feel the same way.
So, before letting yourself heal after him, you first need to see whether you actually care about him or if he was there only to fill the void.
If you realize that you never felt anything special about him, then maybe you chose him out of boredom, as he made your days a bit brighter.
But if you realize that you felt strongly about him and that you still love him, then you need to give yourself some time to move on.
Healing won’t come easy but once it happens, you’ll be glad that you didn’t pressure yourself about anything.
2. Stop obsessing over him
Perhaps last night, you tried to call him once more but thank God that your friend stopped you. That’s something you shouldn’t be doing, no matter what.
If he hasn’t contacted you in a month then you need to have the same amount of courage and stop bombarding him with calls and messages.
If he wanted to talk to you in the first place, he would do that. So why would you then keep on obsessing over him when he hasn’t lifted a finger for you?
The game is over and you need to accept that.
It’ll be hard to move on, especially if you love him. Holidays will suck without him and Valentine’s Day will be just one of those days where you don’t want to get out of bed but it will all be temporary.
One day, you’ll realize that you’ve moved on after him and that your mind has been set free of all those feelings you felt for him.
But to get there, you have to stop calling him 24/7, stalking him on social media, and asking his friends about him. Those things never help.
3. Focus on yourself
It’s a clichĂ©, I know, but it carries all of the truth that you need to hear right now.
No matter how serious your relationship was, when a guy hasn’t contacted you in a month, you get the feeling that you’re the one to blame. And that’s one of the worst things you could be doing right now.
Instead, the smart move would be to focus on yourself and finally put yourself as a priority. Stop thinking about him and try to realize what you could be doing with your life.
How about a new hobby, like taking a pottery class that you’ve had in mind for some time? Or spending all of your free time with your friends?
Now is the right time to do all of these things.
And if you’ve been thinking about possible ways to get back onto the dating scene, then you can start with reinstalling Tinder on your phone. It can be an easy way to meet new people and maybe even fall for someone.
Who knows what can happen in the future. Just keep your spirits up and don’t let the negative thoughts overpower you.
The fact that he hasn’t contacted you in a month may be a good thing, as it can force you to move on with your life.
