If a guy wants to spend time with you, does it mean that he actually likes you? Or could be that he’s using your attention to get something else for himself?
In a world where it’s hard to trust people and everyone only cares about themselves, it can be hard to figure out the real intentions of a person. So, when a guy starts spending more time with you, it can feel impossible to know what he actually wants to get out of it.
Is he only a good friend and nothing more, or does he want to have a serious relationship with you? Should you trust him and give in, or should you stay cautious until you figure out his actual plans with you?
I know that it sounds impossible to figure out what he actually wants from you, especially if you’re starting to catch feelings for him. The fact that he pays attention to you makes you extremely happy, but at the same time, you’re afraid that it will all be short-lived.
You don’t want to get your hopes up and expect a romantic relationship from him if he doesn’t have any intention of making you a part of his life.
So, what do you do now? How do you know what he wants from you and if you’re on the same page?
Well, you’re about to find out.
What does it mean if a guy wants to spend time with you?
A guy may want to spend time with you for a number of reasons. Some of them are pure and won’t cost you your happiness. Others could hurt you deeply and make you regret the moment you let him walk into your life.
In order to be sure, you first need to be prepared. You need to know what’s waiting for you around the corner so you aren’t blindsided.
So, here are possible reasons a guy wants to spend time with you. Pay close attention to the signs and try to figure out which situation describes your guy the best.
After that, it will be easier to figure out his intentions and you’ll know what your next step should be.
1. He likes you as a friend
If a guy wants to spend time with you, it could mean that he likes you as a friend. He won’t do anything to escape the friend zone as he’s not attracted to you romantically.
He simply likes hanging out with you as he believes you’re a great person to be around.
Whenever he needs someone to talk to, you’re always there for him and you don’t make him feel like a burden. He truly feels like you’re a close friend he can rely on.
In this case, he won’t ever make a move that could take your relationship to the next level. You’re just friends and nothing more.
If you’re starting to catch feelings for him, then this isn’t something you want to hear. You’ll probably be disappointed to find out that the guy you like has every intention of remaining friends only, no matter what.
To him, you’ll never be seen as a potential girlfriend – you’ll always be merely one of his good female friends.
You’ll realize this in all of the little things. He won’t ever flirt with you, and even if you start flirting with him, he won’t give you anything in return.
He’ll always introduce you as his friend and won’t ever try to cross that line. There won’t be any hints that suggest you should make a move since he’s doesn’t like you that way.
To him, you’re just a friend and he wants things to stay like that.
2. He likes you as more than a friend but is scared to admit it
If a guy wants to spend time with you, he may actually like you but is scared to admit it. Maybe he’s a shy man who doesn’t really know how to act in a presence of a woman.
He doesn’t want to be just a guy friend and is desperate to take your relationship to the next level. At the same time, he has no idea how to get himself out of the friend zone.
For a long time, his love life suffered as he hasn’t been able to find a girl who actually made his heart skip a beat. Once he finally met you, everything changed and he knew that he wanted to try his luck with you.
But at the same time, he’s afraid of rejection and he doesn’t know how to make the right move without messing things up.
What if he says something wrong and pushes you away? What if you don’t like him the way he likes you and then he loses you completely?
In that case, maybe it’s best for him to keep quiet about his feelings and wait for you to make the first move. Honestly, he’d be happy even with the slightest signal that suggests you like him back.
That tiny glimmer of hope will be enough for him to initiate the conversation he’s been avoiding for a long time.
You’re now probably thinking how he’s making a big deal out of it. I mean, if he likes you, then he should let you know that, right?
But we all know that men are afraid of rejection, so they avoid it at all costs. That’s why he’s keeping his distance and acting as a friend, as he doesn’t want to risk losing you.
3. He wants to make things official with you
If you’re already dating and your guy keeps showing you that he wants to spend time with you, then it could mean that he’s thinking about taking the next step and making your relationship more serious.
He probably wants to make things official as this mediocre thing isn’t making him happy. He wants to spend every second of his day with you since he truly cares for you and doesn’t want to lose you.
You’re already a part of his world as all of his friends and family know about you. He’s let you in and shared with you the parts of his life few people know about.
You now know everything about his past relationships, his broken friendships, and lost opportunities. He’s let you in on his dreams, values, and biggest secrets.
So he doesn’t want to wait any longer to make your relationship official. He already likes you more than he anticipated he would and believes that it’s the right time to take things to the next level.
He wants to spend time with you because you make him happy in a way no one else can. And that’s a great sign that you’re the one for him.
4. He likes the attention you’re giving him
If a guy wants to spend time with you, it could also be because he likes attention. He likes having around someone who cares about him and makes him feel like he’s a great catch.
You’ve probably already shown him that you’re into him, which gives his ego a boost. He now knows that you don’t want to lose him and will do whatever it takes to keep him in your life.
A lot of time, when a man realizes that a woman likes him more than he likes her, he’ll start using that to his advantage. He knows that, as long as your rose-colored glasses are on, you won’t be able to see what’s actually going on.
This gives him a chance to manipulate you and get whatever he wants from you.
So, if you realize that you’re the only one putting the effort while he’s not doing anything in return, be careful about this. It’s a huge red flag that shows he’s not actually into you but only keeping you around for the attention you’re giving him.
He loves the feeling that comes with someone wanting to be with him, that’s why he doesn’t want to lose you. He may give you few crumbs of love only to secure himself a place in your life.
As time goes by, you’ll be the one who calls and texts first. You’ll be the one who asks him to hang out. And he’ll enjoy the fact that you’re working hard to get him to pay attention to you.
This behavior is toxic and won’t bring you anything good. He’ll only break your heart when you finally realize that he never liked you in the first place. Instead, he only craved your attention.
5. He doesn’t want to be alone
A guy may want to spend time with you because he doesn’t want to be alone. He can’t stand the fact that he has no one while everyone around him is in a relationship.
In this case, he’ll be satisfied with the first woman who comes around. And if you were that woman, then you just found out the reason he’s keeping you close to him.
This man probably won’t put in much effort to win you over. You won’t see any of the body language signs that suggest he actually likes you.
Instead, he’ll give you just enough to keep you around. Whenever he realizes that he’s losing you, he’ll make few moves that he knows will make you stay.
He’ll secure himself a space in your heart for a little longer and make sure you won’t leave him right away.
But the second someone better walks into his life, he’ll break up with you. He’ll walk away from you without even giving an explanation.
You may have thought he liked you and wanted to have a future with you, but he’ll prove to you that you were just a passing station. You were there only because he didn’t want to be alone.
That’s the most he could give to you.
6. He wants to make another girl jealous
A guy may want to spend time with you if he’s trying to make another woman jealous.
Maybe he just went through a breakup and is looking for a way to get his ex’s attention. Or some woman rejected him and now he’s trying to make her jealous by showing her how fast he moved on after her.
You’ll be able to tell if this is why he spends time with you by paying close attention to his actions.
First of all, he’ll probably always take you to a place where he knows the other woman could be. And then when he sees her coming, he’ll start to act weird.
His goal is to get her attention and it will be blatantly obvious. At that moment, you’ll feel like a puppet he’s using to fulfill his goals.
Also, he probably won’t call you much or keep the communication going in between these outings. This only goes to show that he needs you for a certain amount of time and after that, you’re free to keep on living your life.
And even though he’s not texting or calling you, he’ll still make sure to fill his social media profiles with pictures of two of you.
By this point, it’s obvious that he’s only using you to make another woman jealous. To be honest, he doesn’t care about you or your feelings. He simply wants to get things his way.
7. You’re only his rebound
The guy just ended a relationship but still, he keeps showing you clear signs that he wants to spend time with you. Could it be that he actually likes you or are you just his rebound?
Well, the chances are the latter. If he’s freshly out of a relationship and keeps inviting you to hang out, then he probably needs someone to get over his ex.
He needs a woman who’ll take his mind off the one who broke his heart. And if he likes hanging out with you, then you may seem like the best choice for him.
The chances for the two of you to end up in a relationship are low. Honestly, you’ll probably only become friends with benefits as that’s the maximum he can give to you right now.
So, if you’re looking for something serious and don’t want to be just a rebound girl, then it’s best for you to walk away. It’s either that or you’ll get your heart broken terribly.
Signs that a guy wants to spend time with you out of pure intentions
Now that you know all of the common reasons, you’re probably confused about what to do next. You’re looking for a real man who won’t play with your heart, but how do you figure out his intentions?
Well, to determine if a guy has pure intentions when wanting to spend time with you, you should be on the lookout for some of the following signs. These will make it clear that he’s not looking just for a hookup but actually likes you and possibly even wants a relationship with you.
So, let’s see how he behaves, over and above wanting to spend time with you.
1. He makes effort
Does your guy make an actual effort when it comes to you? Does he initiate the dates and always make sure to put you first?
More often than not, he cancels on his friends because he truly wants to spend some time with you. At the same time, he gives you enough space so you don’t feel pressured about anything.
The decision is yours to make, but still, he makes sure to show you that he truly wants to hang out with you.
This is a good sign that his intentions are pure. This guy actually spends time with you because he likes you and not because he wants to get something out of it.
2. He invites you to hang out with his friends
Not only does he want to spend time with you, he also wants to introduce you to his pals so you can all hang out together.
Ask any man and he’ll tell you that guys never introduce their girl to their friends if their intentions aren’t real. If he knows that you’ll be out of his life in days, he won’t bother involving you in his social life.
But if you’re a keeper and he knows that he doesn’t want to lose you, then he’ll want you to get to know all of those who mean the most to him. From now on, you’re a part of the group of people he can’t live without, no doubt about it.
3. He keeps in touch with you
When a guy has sincere intentions, he won’t only want to spend time with you. He’ll also keep in touch with you in between dates.
By doing that, he’s showing you that you’re not in his life only to cure his boredom. He won’t call you only when he needs a distraction or someone to talk to.
Instead, he wants to stay in touch with you every day of the week. He wants to know how your day has been and how you’re feeling.
He’ll be there for you all the time and not only when he wants to hang out with someone. And this only goes to show that he’s not playing with you but his feelings are real.
It’s obvious that he wants you in his life long-term and he’s not giving up on you, no matter what.
4. You laugh together
Whenever you hang out, you feel like you’re having the best time of your life. Actually, both of you feel this way.
It’s obvious that he’s not using you for some selfish purpose since you can tell that the whole atmosphere between the two of you doesn’t feel forced. He shows you that he’s spending time with you because it genuinely makes him happy.
The connection is there as you always have a great time laughing at the same things. It truly feels like you get on very well and it will be such a shame if things don’t work out between you two.
5. He brags about you
Have his friends told you how he always talks about you? He can’t go a day without mentioning your name and he always feels the need to share with them how amazing you are.
It looks like you truly mean a lot to him. He can’t stop bragging about you!
Combine this with the fact that he wants to spend all of his free time with you, and you get a guy who’s head over heels in love. This behavior only shows that his intentions are pure and that he truly wants you to stay in his life.
When he won’t stop singing your praises, it’s clear as day what he wants from you. And it certainly isn’t to play with your feelings and break your heart.
6. He never cancels on you
He won’t ever stand you up. With him, you’ll never feel like plans are hanging in the air.
Instead, you can trust his word and rely on him. He won’t bail on you because this guy truly wants to spend his time with you.
His intentions are pure and he has zero intention of breaking your heart. Instead, he wants to protect it and cherish it as you’re the only person he wants to have by his side.
If you see any of the above-mentioned signs, then it’s highly likely that he considers you the one. He likes you a lot and you can tell that by paying close attention to his actions.
They reveal his real intentions, the ones that he won’t express through words.
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