I Let You Go, But My Feelings Never Faded

I had to leave. For my own good. For a very long time, I deluded myself into thinking you cared about me. I interpreted each word, and each action as a sign of affection.

Just one look, and I see desire, one smile, and I see hidden love. But I was wrong. I had made up a love that was never there. Well, in a way it was, but I let you go!

It was there in the form of a friendship.

Our bond is unforgettable. You’d listen to me ramble for hours without ever getting bored, and you’d always laugh at my jokes, even though you were known as the serious guy, incapable of having fun.

But they didn’t know you like I did. I’ve seen you in every state of mind. When you get to know someone that intimately, it’s not easy to let go.

I wonder if you still remember the time we talked every day, sending each other memes because we found each other in everything?

I know it meant a lot to both of us at the time, but I wonder if it still does for you. Are you unable to forget, too?

It was a time when I was truly happy.

Waking up to see a message from you, not falling asleep without talking to you, ignoring the world and focusing on each other, understanding and being understood—it’s such a lovely feeling, isn’t it?

I may have walked away, but how could I not after sensing your indifference? That doesn’t mean I let you go. A true connection with someone stays with you forever.

A soulmate isn’t always someone you spend your life with. Just because one of you leaves doesn’t mean what you shared wasn’t real. It simply didn’t work out.

I couldn’t try for you any longer.

I had already invested so much time in you, but I don’t regret it at all. When you give your love to someone, it’s never wasted. Your pain only proves your capacity for love, and that’s truly beautiful.

So, no, I don’t wish I handled things differently. I hope I brought you happiness for a while. I hope you felt loved by me. And I hope you now have someone who loves you just as deeply.

Life is too short to spend it feeling jealous and possessive. You’re a wonderful person who deserves happiness. If that happiness isn’t with me, then I accept it.

Real love isn’t selfish.

Yes, we all experience jealousy at times. We may do and say the wrong things in the name of love; after all, we’re only human. But it’s crucial to come to your senses and recognize that if you genuinely care about someone, you never wish them harm. If you do, it’s not love but possession.

True love wishes for their person’s peace and quietly hopes they remember them. Do you remember me?

I must confess, though I wish you joy, I secretly hope I linger in your thoughts from time to time. I don’t want to be the only one living in the past.

Maybe that’s why I confessed my love.

Did it mean anything to you, or did you forget about it the very next day? Either way, I’m glad I did it. Now you know. Whether it holds meaning for you doesn’t affect me. I can always imagine it does. Isn’t that the beauty of it? We can always find solace in creating ideal scenarios in our minds.

The only thing that troubles me is that I thought confessing my feelings would liberate me. I believed they would disappear into the sky, forever forgotten. But no, they’re still here, as real as they were on the first day.

Some things last forever.

Sometimes I fear I’ll feel this way for the rest of my life. Yet at other times, I cherish it, finding poetry in it. Isn’t it profoundly romantic to love someone so intensely that it consumes your entire being?

I know I should prioritize myself and my needs, and I will. That’s why I left in the first place. But there’s still a hidden joy in these emotions. As Castiel from Supernatural says, “Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.“

I’ve said it, and despite the lack of reciprocation, I felt the weight lift off my shoulders. I also felt a slight satisfaction in being brave enough to say the words. It’s important to always express how you feel; loving someone should never be a source of shame.

However much I still love you, I love myself more. While I know my feelings will never fade, I refuse to let them consume my entire life.

I will love you quietly.

I will live my life, follow my dreams, and travel the world, creating memories with my friends. But even as I do, I will think about you. I’ll read books and enter fictional worlds, hoping to find you there as I let you go here.

When I see someone who looks like you on the street, my hands might shake. When I come across our spot, my heart might ache. But these feelings are simply proof of my enduring love for you. Your feelings don’t need to match mine—I have enough tenderness for us both.