From the moment we met, I kind of knew you could never love me. At least, not the way I needed and expected to be loved. And I knew you could never love me the way I loved you.
But, I stayed by your side anyway.
I loved you so much that I always hoped you would start feeling the same way. But, you never did. And I guess my love wasn’t enough for the both of us.
It took me more tears and sleepless nights than I could count, but now I finally realize you don’t love me.
Yes, you always told me you loved me and you’ll probably be shocked, even insulted with this realization of mine. But, when you think of it, you’ll know I am right.
You don’t love me because you never put me first. When you love a person, this person becomes your number one priority in life. Or is at least, at the top of the list. But, for you, everything is always more important than me.
You don’t love me because you take me for granted. You just assume that I will always be there, holding your back. You think there is nothing you can do that could chase me away.
You don’t love me because you never give me enough attention. When you truly love someone, that person doesn’t have to beg for your attention. When you love someone, that person doesn’t have to anxiously await if you’d call them or come to see them.
You don’t love me because you don’t show it. Yes, you say you love me. But, that is not enough. Where is that love I am constantly hearing about? I don’t see it and I don’t feel it. You say you are a closed person who doesn’t enjoy expressing his emotions, but if you truly loved me, you’d find a way to demonstrate it to me. Words don’t mean anything if they are not followed by action.
You don’t love me because you play mind games. With you, I always have to second guess everything. I don’t know if you do it on purpose to play with me and because it is good for your ego to have me chase you all the time, or you do it subconsciously, but the fact is- I never know where we stand. And you don’t do that to the person you love. If you really loved me, you would do everything you can to make me feel safe around you and not to await for the moment you’ll leave me.
You don’t love me because you only call me when you need me. You think I would never leave your side and you know I would always be there for you. So, instead of appreciating it- you use that. When everything is going great in your life, you are nowhere to be found. But, as soon as you face some trouble, I am the first person you call. And that only means I am convenient for you and that you don’t love me.
You don’t love me because you don’t stand by my side when I need you. When you love someone, you’ll be there for them through thick and thin. But, when I am the one who needs you, you are never around. And you don’t act like that towards someone you love.
You don’t love me because you don’t accept me. When you love someone, you don’t want to change that person. But, you never accepted me for who I am. For you, I was always too sensitive, too needy or too clingy and you never did anything to work on my insecurities. Instead, you always demanded I change my personality just to fit your standards better.
You don’t love me because you don’t care how your actions make me feel. When you love someone, you’ll be extra careful not to hurt that person. But, you always do whatever you want, without thinking what impact it will have on me or on our relationship.
You don’t love me because you would never chase me. When you love someone, you fight for that person and you chase them. But, you never go after me. Instead, you constantly show me that I am not important for you and that me walking away from your life wouldn’t make a big difference.
You may say you love me. I am sure you even think that you do. Maybe this is the best way you can love someone- we don’t all have the same capacities for love.
But, you don’t love me enough. You don’t love me the way I need and want to be loved. And most importantly, you don’t love me the way I deserved to me loved. And you never will.
This is me finally realizing that and walking away from you.