Think aloud
“I can’t stop thinking about him! No matter how hard I try, I always fail to get him off my mind.” Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt like that?
This person who can’t leave your head may be your ex, your current boyfriend, or your almost love. He may even be some guy you just met but who left a serious impression on you.
No matter who we’re talking about, it can be hard to deal with constant thoughts about a guy. When his picture in your head distracts you from your daily activities, there are two things you want to know – why you can’t stop thinking about him and how to make these thoughts stop.
Having conversations with people has become a task since he’s the only thing you’re focused on. You find yourself unable to follow what others are saying since he’s the one who’s always on your mind.
Getting your work done has also become almost impossible. Instead of thinking about how to finish a project, you’re working on the thought about him that possesses your mind.
It feels that everywhere you go and whatever you do, he keeps following you.
Many times you’ve called a friend, yelling down the phone, “I can’t stop thinking about him. Why is this happening to me?”
Well, don’t worry as you’re about to find out the underlying reason why you can’t stop thinking about a guy and what you can do about it.
Why is it that I can’t stop thinking about him?
The amount of time you spend thinking about him has started to irritate you. You don’t know why he’s the only constant thought in your head.
It feels that everything else is put on hold and he’s the only thought that’s left.
You would be fine with it if it lasted for a day or even a week. But maybe it’s been a whole month and you still can’t get him off your mind.
By this point, there’s another thought that keeps bugging you.
“Why can’t I stop thinking about him? Is there a reason why he’s a permanent resident of my mind, even though I never asked him to be?”
Get ready because you’re about to find out why this keeps happening and why you can’t forget about him, not even for a second of a day.
Let’s dive right in and find the right solution that will get him out of your head.
1. You’re in love with him
It may seem too obvious to be true but this could be one of the reasons why you can’t stop thinking about a guy. Maybe you still aren’t fully aware of it but your mind knows it very well.
It makes no difference whether the two of you just met or if you’ve known each other for some time. You’ve fallen for him and now you can’t get him out of your head.
He seems like a great guy and whenever you spend time together, you realize that you have so many things in common. You enjoy his company and feel the need to be around him all the time.
But since we all know that’s impossible, you keep replaying his picture in your head.
You keep thinking about the way he talks and how he tells some of the best jokes you’ve ever heard. You keep remembering the way he pronounces your name and smiles right after it.
It could be that deep down, you truly believe that you’ve found the right one and you don’t want to let go of him. You want to call him yours and that’s why he’s been the only thing you can think about.
“I can’t stop thinking about him because I’m in love with him.” Try saying these words and see how your body reacts to them.
Maybe this is the reason and you’ve been avoiding it because it’s out of the blue and totally unplanned. But love doesn’t choose a time or a place so go with the flow and see what happens.
2. You’re infatuated with him
If it isn’t love then it may be infatuation. Maybe you’re intoxicated by everything he is because he’s different and one of a kind.
Deep down, you’re aware that even if you end up together, it won’t be anything serious. There’s no chance of the two of you working out but still, something keeps pulling you in.
You’re curious to see what could happen and besides, he’s really attractive so you can’t seem to get him out of your mind.
Right now, he may be the only one you think about but once the infatuation period is over, he’ll be gone from your mind and out of your life.
Just wait some time and see what happens. A day and then a week will go by and it’ll hit you that you haven’t been thinking about him at all.
At that point, you’ll realize that the main reason for your constant thoughts was infatuation and nothing else. Once it passes, you’ll be free and the picture that you created in your head won’t bother you anymore.
3. You’re lonely
It’s easy to say, “I can’t stop thinking about him and it’s making me go crazy.” But what if your loneliness is the reason why it keeps happening?
What if deep down, you feel the urge to think about someone so you don’t feel lonely anymore?
Maybe you met someone who seemed like a nice guy or you’ve just got out of a long relationship and you need something to fill your thoughts. It’s either that or you’ll be calling your ex non-stop.
This new guy seems like the best fit to daydream about. He seems nice and you like the idea of having someone new in your life.
But it feels too early to admit your feelings to him and you don’t even know whether you like him or if you just like the idea of having someone next to you.
It’s all confusing so you end up daydreaming about him because that seems like the easiest option.
Now, you’ve got so used to having him in your head that you can’t get rid of the thoughts about him. Your loneliness got you here and now you don’t know what to do about it.
You would rather stop these thoughts from invading your mind but it seems that there’s no right way to do that. They keep reappearing, even when you try to ignore them.
So, if you just got out of a long relationship or if you’ve been alone for a long time, then you may feel lonely not having anyone around you.
In order to escape that loneliness, you may start thinking about a guy you just met because he seems like a great person.
If you’ve found yourself in these words then you should admit the truth to yourself. After that, it’ll be easier to take your mind off him and stop these thoughts from overpowering you.
4. You need something to escape reality
Maybe you’re going through a rough patch in your life. The negativity is overtaking you and you need something to escape the reality of your everyday life.
All of a sudden, you met a nice guy and he seemed like a great distraction from everything that was happening to you. You let yourself go and you got lost in all those thoughts about him.
But as time has gone by, you realized that you’ve become obsessed with him. Your daydreaming has got to the point where you’re irritated by the amount of time he spends in your mind.
“Why can’t I stop thinking about him?”
The answer is simple. He’s there for you to save you from the negativity that’s been surrounding you; he’s given you a reason to smile.
Maybe you’ve had a horrible time at work, your romantic relationship fell apart or you had a fight with a best friend. Whatever the reason, this guy has been your salvation and he made it possible to distract yourself from reality.
That’s why you’ve been thinking about him this whole time.
5. Your mind is fascinated by the idea of him that you created
One of the possible reasons why you can’t stop thinking about him is because of the picture that you created in your head.
You met a guy and he seemed great at first. You fell for his wide smile and beautiful eyes and in your head, you started filling in all those blank spots so you could try to get a better idea of who he actually is.
Your mind was on a roll when you created this idea of a perfect man, the guy of your dreams. And because he now looks like the man you want to marry, you can’t stop thinking about him.
The problem with this is that you’re most likely to end up disappointed once you get to know him better. He could be a great guy but the expectations that you set for him are too high.
So, even if you decide to get to know him better, you know that there are high chances that you’ll end up devastated because he’s not what you expected him to be.
No matter how the situation turns out, it looks like you won’t end up happy.
6. He’s an enigma you want to solve
“I met this guy and I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s a real enigma and I wonder what’s hiding underneath.”
If you’ve found yourself in these words then there’s your answer. You can’t stop thinking about a guy because he’s different and you want to decipher him badly.
If he was like all of the other guys, your mind wouldn’t be focused on him but since he’s different, he keeps being the only thought you have.
It’s not that you like him or that you’re infatuated with him; it’s more that you want to figure him out. You want to know what’s hiding behind his smile.
So, you keep thinking about everything he says, analyzing his words. You keep thinking about his actions and what he tries to achieve with them.
Everything about him has become puzzling and you want to go deeper to understand the underlying reasons.
Does he actually like you or is he playing with you? What makes him so different from all of the other guys?
Once you figure this out, you’ll probably stop thinking about him, since he won’t be as interesting anymore.
7. You wonder whether the two of you could ever work
Maybe you just met a guy and you seem to like him or you’ve been going out for some time now and you haven’t noticed anything bad about him.
Still, there’s something missing and you don’t know whether the two of you are the right match. So, you can’t stop thinking about him because you’re trying to figure out whether you have a future together.
Is he the right one for you or should you give up on him? That’s exactly what you’re trying to figure out by analyzing his behavior.
But the thing is that you’ve become so involved in your constant thoughts and thinking about your future together that you’ve forgotten to pay attention to him.
The reality is slipping away from you and if you don’t do something about it, you’ll probably lose him. That’s when all those hours of thinking about him will have been in vain.
8. You wonder whether he’s worth the effort
You’ve been making a lot of effort with a guy but you can’t seem to understand whether he’s even worth it. Should you keep the pace and try your luck with him or should you give up on him completely?
This question has got you puzzled and you can’t stop thinking about him because of it.
You keep asking yourself whether he likes you, whether his intentions are real and whether he’s going to replace you with someone better the moment she walks into his life.
That’s why he’s been your only thought lately. Even when you’ve tried to distract yourself, your mind has always gone back to him and you keep wondering whether you should keep making an effort.
9. He rejected you
The final reason why you can’t stop thinking about him is that he rejected you. No matter how harsh it sounds, this could be what’s keeping you on the hook, even though you want it to stop.
Don’t reject this reason instantly. Instead, try to think about it for a second.
There have likely been many times when a friend called you and told you these words: “He rejected me and I still can’t stop thinking about him. Why is this happening?”
Admit it, we all know that we keep chasing things that we can’t have. In this case, when a guy rejected you, he became ten times more attractive and your wish to have him grew bigger.
The fact that he made it clear that he doesn’t want to be with you makes you pursue him even harder. That’s why you’ve been thinking about him, trying to figure out the best way to get his attention.
What should I do if I can’t stop thinking about him?
“I can’t stop thinking about him. Is there something I can do?” You’ve asked your friends this question multiple times and nothing has worked yet.
However, once you finish reading this article, you’ll know what to do to take your attention away from the guy you keep thinking about and finally get yourself back on track.
All this time, he’s been the only thought on your mind. Now is the right time to change that.
1. Don’t force yourself to stop thinking about him
When someone tells you, “Don’t think of an elephant!” do you know what you’ll do next? Naturally, you’ll actually start thinking about an elephant.
So, when you keep forcing yourself to stop thinking about this guy, you actually make yourself think about him even more. That’s why you shouldn’t make any effort to stop thinking about him.
The more attention you pay to it, the harder it gets. Instead, completely ignore this problem.
Forget the fact that he’s been on your mind a lot and that it’s driving you crazy. Once you ignore it, you’ll actually realize that a few days have passed and that you haven’t even thought about him.
But if you keep putting pressure on yourself to get him out of your head, you’ll find it harder to actually achieve that. So, simply forget about it and focus on other parts of your life, and soon, you’ll notice a significant change.
2. Move away from him for some time
It’s obvious that you can’t stop thinking about him if he’s always around you. Maybe you constantly stumble upon each other while in town or when you don’t meet face-to-face, you use your phones as a way to keep in touch.
No matter whether we’re talking about your ex or a new guy you just met, the principle is the same. And something has to change if you want to stop these constant thoughts.
If this is your ex you’re trying to forget, then you should block him on social media and delete his number from your phone. Stop answering his calls and don’t even think about hanging out with a mutual friend group.
If it’s a new guy you’ve been seeing way too much, even though you still have no idea where the two of you stand, then take a break from going out with him.
If you used to hang out every day, make a deal with yourself to see him once a week.
This way, you’ll have enough time to figure out your feelings and to see whether you actually want to have something with him or if it’s just an infatuation.
3. Have a talk with him
Often, having a conversation is the best way to solve your issue.
So, if you’ve figured out that you can’t stop thinking about a guy because you’re not sure whether he’s worth the effort, then sit him down and be honest with him. Let him know everything that’s going through your mind right now.
After this, you’ll be able to conclude whether his intentions are real and whether he actually wants to fight for you. Then, you’ll know what you can do next and whether you want to give your relationship a shot.
Plus, after having a talk, you’ll feel like the burden has fallen from your shoulders and you finally know where you stand. And that will be a relief in itself.
4. Focus on yourself
Wondering what to do when you can’t stop thinking about him? Well, simply focus on yourself more and you’ll notice a significant change.
All this time, you’ve been giving all your energy to this guy. Actually, your energy has been focused on thinking about him but the point remains the same.
Instead of you being your own priority, you gave that title to him. But now it’s time to get back on track and think about yourself more.
Take up a new hobby, spend more time with your friends and family, or go on vacation to that place you always wanted to visit. Take yourself to the cinema or buy that dress you’ve had your eyes on for a long time.
Once you focus on yourself, you’ll notice that you’ll stop thinking about him, as your attention will shift to other, more important things.
5. Work on loving yourself more
All that time you used to spend thinking about him should now be spent on loving yourself more. Imagine the difference that will come after that.
Maybe you don’t think that there’s a way to stop these thoughts from flooding your mind. You believe that he’s deeply rooted inside your head and that there’s no way to take your mind off him.
But once you choose yourself as a priority and learn to love yourself more, you’ll start opening doors that have never been opened before.
You’ll realize that thinking about him has impacted you on so many levels and that you should know better than that.
After that, loving yourself becomes the only thing on your mind. You finally get all of your love and attention and in no time, you’ll be moving in the right direction.
6. Meet other guys
If the person you can’t stop thinking about is your ex, then one of the things that can help you is if you start meeting other guys.
You can’t let yourself be stuck in the same spot for the rest of your life. That’s why moving on and continuing with your journey is one of the best moves you can make.
Once you see that there is plenty of fish in the sea, you won’t regret taking this step and moving on after a guy. In the end, you won’t even think about him as he’ll evaporate from your mind completely.
