Think aloud
If you’ve ever fallen into the hands of a guy who kept stringing you along, then it’s no surprise that you want to know how to respond to breadcrumbing.
When you meet a breadcrumber, at first you think that you’ve finally met someone who’ll make your world a better place.
However, the reality turns out to be different. You have no idea how to deal with him the right way.
You don’t want to lose your dignity and you most certainly don’t want him to think of you as stupid and keep playing his mind games with you.
On the other hand, you know how hard it can be to stop falling for his breadcrumbs. For a second, you have the feeling like you’re in Hansel and Gretel’s fairy tale but the main difference is that your guy’s breadcrumbs won’t get you anywhere.
If he was at least ghosting you then you would know that he actually doesn’t want to have anything with you and after that, you’d stop getting your hopes up. But this way, he disappears on you for days or weeks and then starts messaging you all of a sudden.
Just when you think that you’ve reached the point of an honest conversation, he bails on you again and becomes MIA. Then, somewhere along the road, he hits you with a flirty text, sparks your interest, and leaves you wanting more.
But you know that there’s no way that your ‘relationship’ will ever look the way you want it to. It’s obvious that you’re being breadcrumbed but what can you do about it?
How do you respond to breadcrumbing and run away from this modern dating trend that’s making you go crazy?
How to respond to breadcrumbing?
The bottom line is that no one can deal with breadcrumbers for too long. They keep coming in and out of your life and have no actual interest in pursuing a healthy relationship with you.
Still, they give you just enough to keep you wanting more. You realize that the two of you could never work.
Just when you decide to move on after them, they crawl back into your life and again make you think that they may be a potential partner.
Later on, instead of actually taking your relationship to the next level, they keep giving you a loose time frame on when you could meet. There are no concrete plans, just text messages that say, “We should meet sometime.”
And even if you get lucky and actually meet your breadcrumber in person, the chances are that he’ll disappear right after that and potentially come back whenever he wants.
Over and over again, you feel like you’re playing a never-ending game. At some point, you think that this person is your soulmate, and the next day, you’re certain that they’re never going to stay forever.
Your self-esteem is already shaken and you want to know how to respond to breadcrumbing efficiently and without looking desperate.
If you keep reading, you’ll get an answer to that question and you’ll know what your next step should be.
1. Admit the truth to yourself
When you want to know how to respond to breadcrumbing, you first need to admit the fact that it’s happening to you. This can be tricky but it’s the first step you have to take.
Sometimes, when we like a person, it can be hard to admit the truth to ourself. Instead of being honest, we keep falling for the picture that we created in our head.
And truth be told, this never takes you to the place where you want to be. It only makes your life harder.
So, instead of letting yourself being controlled by a breadcrumber, you should admit the truth to yourself.
“I’m being breadcrumbed and there’s no way that this relationship will work.”
How often does he text you? Is it normal for him to disappear for some time and then walk back into your life like nothing ever happened?
When he does text you and what does it look like? Does he want to talk about serious matters or does he give you a ton of emojis and short replies?
Once you answer these questions, you’ll know what you’re up against. You can keep making excuses for him, saying that he’s busy or that he has other things on his mind, but the truth is that a guy who likes you will make time for you.
Even if he was in the middle of the busiest week ever, he would still make sure to text you regularly and whenever he can.
Trust me, he wouldn’t disappear on you for weeks and then hit you up with a flirty text, thinking that it can save the day.
So, if you know that this guy has been giving you a breadcrumber vibe, the chances are that he’s exactly that. And the sooner you admit the truth to yourself, the better things will end up for you.
This guy isn’t in it for a long haul and both of you know that, so you can let him play his games with you or you can turn it to your advantage. The choice is yours!
2. Directly tell him what you’re looking for
Being direct with him and upfront about your feelings is one of the best ways to respond to breadcrumbing.
Instead of walking behind him, feeding on the crumbs he leaves behind, you need to outsmart him and tell him directly what you’re looking for.
That way, you’ll save yourself from heartbreak and longing for someone who’s not good for you.
Breadcrumbers usually behave this way because they need an ego boost. They need someone who’ll keep falling for their sweet words, even though their matching actions are nowhere to be found.
However, when you show a man like this that you know what you want and that you won’t fall for his stories, you instantly get ahead of him.
Do you want a serious relationship? Let him know that!
Do you despise hookups with your whole heart? Tell him that you won’t fall for it.
If a guy wants the same thing as you do, he won’t run away. You can’t scare him with a serious relationship if he’s looking for the same thing.
And if you’re not on the same page then it’s better for him to walk away from you before he gets a chance to hurt you. If your viewpoints don’t line up from the very start, then you won’t be compatible with each other later on either.
Also, this is a great way to respond to breadcrumbing. The chances are that this guy will most likely give up on you completely because he’s aware that you can’t give him what he wants.
From that point on, you’ll get ghosted but at least you’ll know that your so-called relationship is over. And in this case, it’ll be a good thing.
3. Suggest a date and time to meet each other
How to respond to breadcrumbing? Well, what about suggesting an exact date and time to meet up?
I can assure you that this will scare him off and it’ll give away his real intentions.
Breadcrumbers usually spot you on dating apps. Once you’re hooked, the chances are that you’ll never meet them in person.
Your guy will most likely make a ton of plans to see you but he’ll never be exact with them. You’ll never hear him giving you a certain time or day when your meeting is planned to happen.
“I look forward to seeing you,” “We could go to this new restaurant,” or, “We should definitely plan something soon,” – that’s all you’re going to get.
At this point, you may suspect that you’re seeing one of the red flags of being breadcrumbed but how do you respond to that correctly? Actually, setting an exact date and time when the two of you can meet works wonders in this case.
If a guy is genuinely interested in you and wants to meet you, he’ll make sure to free up his schedule but if he’s a real breadcrumber who doesn’t care about you at all and only uses you to feel good about himself, he’ll reject your proposal.
Actually, he’ll most likely agree at first and then bail on you at the last moment. That way, you’ll know that you’re dealing with someone who’s not here to stay.
4. Call him out on his behavior
Breadcrumbers may act all naive and pretend that they’re not as bad as you portray them to be but they’ll always fail to give you the real deal.
So, if you’ve had enough of his behavior, then there’s one thing you need to do – call him out on it.
Breadcrumbers are sort of like narcissists. They hate when other people know their real intentions.
If you text this guy a message that explains how you know what he wants from you, he’ll first deny everything. That’s when you should give him a chance to explain himself and let him know why his behavior keeps troubling you.
If he fails to prove you differently, then you should warn him that he’s out of chances. He can remove you from his contacts list and you’ll no longer answer his phone calls or reply to his messages, as you don’t want to have anything to do with a breadcrumber.
Don’t expect a breadcrumber to change his behavior after this. He probably won’t show up on your doorstep and try to rebuild your relationship from scratch.
But he may think about his behavior in the future. Maybe he’ll finally realize that his mind games and hot and cold behavior should come to an end.
5. Leave his messages on read
Are you asking yourself how to respond to breadcrumbing? Well, what about not responding at all?
If you see that a guy has been willingly playing his dirty mind games with you, sometimes, the best way to respond is actually to not say anything in return.
He wishes to pull you in closer once again and gain his dominance over you. He wants you to feed on his crumbs and chase after him.
But if you keep ignoring his calls and leave his messages on read, maybe you’ll teach him a lesson and show him how it feels when someone plays with you.
Revenge isn’t the best way to solve your problems but sometimes, you have to show them how it feels to be a pawn in their own little game.
The moment you stop giving him attention, a breadcrumber will lose all of his power. He’ll feel like he can’t do anything to get you back.
If he double-texts you, he makes himself look like he cares and that’s not something he wants, so he’ll stop reaching out to you completely.
And just like that, you’ll escape from the vicious circle he put you in and save yourself from future pain.
6. Clear out your social media accounts
If you want to know how to respond to breadcrumbing, then make sure to remove this breadcrumber from all of your social media accounts.
Besides deleting his number, make sure to unfollow him on Instagram and unfriend him on Facebook and every other platform that you use. You can even consider blocking him if you believe that works for you.
Once you delete his number, a breadcrumber can still call and text you. He can still be persistent in his wish for you to fall for his words once more.
And if he sees that there’s no reply, he may reach out to your social media profiles as a way of keeping in touch with you.
Commenting on your pictures and replying to your stories are different ways he can use to be in contact with you.
But if you prevent him from doing do that by removing him from your lists of friends or followers, you’ll show him that you’re sick of his games. You’ll show him that you’re no longer willing to give him your time or energy.
He’ll see that you’re not his victim anymore and that you’ll no longer tolerate his behavior. At that point, he’ll give up on playing games with you because he’ll know that he won’t get anything in return.
The times when you used to reply to his messages and answer his calls are over. He’s on his own now, as you’re done feeding on his crumbs.
7. Respect yourself enough to know that you deserve more
One of the things you have to keep in mind when you want to know how to respond to breadcrumbing is your worth.
A breadcrumber may trick you into believing that he can give you everything you want. He may leave you wishing for more and waiting for him to come back into your life.
But in all that fuss, you should never forget your worth. You should never forget that you deserve so much more than feeding on crumbs of love.
I know that his behavior will shake your confidence and you’ll start to question your worth.
Maybe you’ll even start convincing yourself that his ‘love’ is the maximum of what you can get, that no one would ever be able to love you, and that it’s better to have anyone than to end up all alone.
However, if you keep doing this, you’ll only make your life harder. You’ll willingly keep hurting yourself even though you deserve so much more.
You’re worthy of love and you should never let anyone make you think otherwise. Just because one guy isn’t capable of loving you the right way, it doesn’t mean that you should give up on love completely.
The world is filled with those who would give their best to have someone like you in their life, so don’t ever forget that. Just because this guy wasn’t the one, it doesn’t mean that you’ll never meet your Mr. Perfect in the future.
8. Cut him out of your life
Once you show a breadcrumber that you don’t want to have anything to do with him, he’ll leave your life for some time but he’ll probably keep coming back for more after a while.
That’s why you should cut him out of your life completely.
Don’t even think about giving him a second chance because people like that never change. He can’t stop his games because they’re the only things that give him power.
Every time you welcome a breadcrumber back in your life, he’ll take away a piece of you. He’ll keep draining your energy and at one point, you’ll no longer know who you are.
So, the best way to respond to breadcrumbing is to totally cut him off. Walk away from him and don’t ever turn around to see whether he’s coming after you.
You don’t need a person like that in your life and that’s more than obvious.
9. Start dating other people
No matter how much you like this person, if you notice that you’re being breadcrumbed, then there’s no reason for you to focus only on him. Instead, you should go out and date other people.
Unless you do that, the chances are that you’ll get too attached to someone who has no intention of having a serious relationship with you. And that’s not something you want.
So, if you want to know how to respond to breadcrumbing, the best advice you can get is to move on with your life and start dating others. Stop limiting yourself to that one guy who doesn’t want anything serious with you.
By doing that, you’re only hurting yourself but if you move on after a breadcrumber and look for other guys, you may gain back the confidence that you’d previously lost.
Also, you may realize that waiting for someone whose maximum is to text you twice a month makes no sense and you should leave him in the past.
10. Focus on your well-being
You should never fall for crumbs, not even if you’re afraid of being alone. Your sanity and well-being should always be your priorities and not some guy who plays games with you.
Just because he’s not giving you what you wanted him to, it doesn’t mean that you should focus all your time and energy on him. The chances are that he’s never going to change, no matter how much effort you put into him.
This is especially when you can see that he’s not good enough for you. You should shift all of your focus onto yourself, which is the right way to respond to breadcrumbing.
Instead of thinking about when he’ll reach out to you again, focus on your hobbies. Instead of wondering whether you should text him or not, go for a walk.
Focus on yourself and everything that makes you happy. Set yourself as a priority and ignore all those men around you who need to choose when to pay attention to you.
11. Stop blaming yourself
When you’re figuring out how to respond to breadcrumbing, you should know that blaming yourself isn’t an option.
You couldn’t have known that this guy is a breadcrumber and that he’d play with your mind however he wants. You couldn’t have known that he’d keep walking in and out of your life like it was some sort of playground.
He seduced you with his sweet talk and made you fall for him. Every time he bailed on you, he gave himself just enough time before coming back into your life.
He knew that you wouldn’t get over him and his timing was always perfect. But you liked him and that’s why you fell for him.
There’s nothing to blame yourself for. You’ve learned your lesson and you definitely won’t let him or anyone else do that ever again.
You now know how to spot a breadcrumber from a mile and there’s no way that you’ll ever again feed on his crumbs of love.
The game he’s been playing with you is over and no matter what he thinks, it’s you who came out of it as the winner.
