Think aloud
Situationships are all sunshine and rainbows until one person starts developing feelings or maybe even realizes that their fling is going nowhere. When you find yourself in a similar situation, you realize that you’re just wasting your time. How to end a situationship and come out of it as a winner?
At one point, you didn’t feel ready for a serious relationship but you also couldn’t stand the idea of being alone. That was when you decided to seek comfort in a situationship.
You loved the idea of having someone by your side whenever you needed it. But you also appreciated the fact that you didn’t feel constricted since it wasn’t anything serious.
Now, things have changed and you no longer feel happy about this whole concept. You don’t like the way it’s going and you’re looking for a way out of it. But how do you do that? How do you break up with someone when you were never together in the first place?
How to end a situationship?
There are a couple of different reasons why a person decides to end their situationship. Most commonly, you realize that you’re falling in love with the other person even though you’re aware that was never a part of the plan.
Other times, you meet someone else and want to see if the two of you could work together. That’s impossible for as long as you’re casually seeing some other dude.
Or it could be that this type of arrangement is simply not making you happy anymore. It’s completely normal to outgrow things that once used to bring you happiness. When that happens, it’s important to realize how to make the right moves and protect yourself from getting hurt.
Now that you’re considering how to end a situationship, you may feel confused. Where do you even start? How do you move on after someone who was never officially yours?
1. Be honest with the other person
Once you realize that you’ve been constantly thinking about ending your situationship, you should first have an honest talk with yourself.
Do you feel like you’re missing out on something? Have you reached a moment in your life when you’re looking for something more serious? Does it feel like you’re sacrificing your happiness for the sake of being in a situationship?
These are all some important questions you should have an answer to. Once you realize that you’re no longer happy with this complex situation, it’s time to be honest with your situationship partner. Sit down with him and have a chat about how you’re feeling.
In the beginning, he may try to persuade you to give this whole thing a bit more time. He may even get upset for bringing this topic up. But you have to be honest with yourself and step aside when you’re no longer feeling satisfied.
Make sure you do this in person. Sending a message isn’t the best idea simply because both of you deserve closure. Ending a situationship over a text may seem a bit unclear and may lead to some unresolved issues in the future.
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable especially if this is the first time you’re doing this. But you need to be aware that distancing yourself from a situation that’s no longer making you happy is perfectly normal and you have nothing to be afraid of.
You may be closing one door behind you but that only means that other ones will start opening right in front of you.
2. Remind yourself that there’s nothing to regret
Sometimes, the hardest thing about ending a situationship is the idea that you’re losing something that used to feel good. It’s the thought that you’re going to regret your decision down the line.
In reality, that’s your brain trying to save you from going into the unknown. You’re used to being in a situationship; it has become a habit and we all know how hard it is to deal with habits.
Getting out of your comfort zone will never be easy. But what you don’t remember now is that there’s something better waiting for you outside of it. You just have to trust your instincts.
Of course, you’ll feel a bit lost those first few days after you end things for good. You may even reach for your phone and start typing a message to your ex situationship partner. But as long as you’re aware that you have nothing to regret, you should be fine.
Shift your focus to something else and forget about your previous arrangements.
3. Set clear boundaries and be consistent
Before you cut the contact completely, you should first set clear boundaries with your ex-buddy. These rules are completely up to you.
You should decide the level of communication you’re comfortable with. Maybe you’re fine with the idea of staying friends. Maybe you want to cut every possible line of communication.
Honestly, no one can blame you for your choice so do whatever feels comfortable. If you think that the two of you can stay friends without slipping up, then go for it. If you, on the other hand, don’t like the idea of staying in touch, know that’s okay as well.
You have every right to set the boundaries you want. However, the most important part is to be consistent. On those days when you feel lonely, don’t reach out for your phone, and don’t intentionally go to the bar where you know you’ll see him.
This feeling of being lost will pass sooner than you think and in the end, you’ll be glad that you listened to your gut.
4. Focus on yourself
Once you’re out of the situationship, you’ll need to prioritize your self-care. You’ll need to allow yourself to take some time to heal and move on after everything you’ve been through.
Even though it wasn’t a real relationship to start with, it also required you to put your emotions, time, and energy into it. So once it ends, you may feel lost and confused.
During this period, you shouldn’t rush yourself and move into another relationship as soon as possible. Instead, you should take your time and do whatever makes you feel better.
Treat yourself to some pamper nights, spend some nights out with your friends, or pay a visit to your favorite family members. Do everything you want as long as you know that it will help you get back in shape and feel like yourself again.
5. Surround yourself with people who support you
Again, just because you didn’t end a real, serious relationship it doesn’t mean that you don’t need a support system. This is still a part of your life when you’ll need to talk to someone and share the way you feel.
Even though you don’t expect it, your emotions will be all over the place. You’ll realize how much you’ve been invested in your situationship, even though you didn’t even assume it.
So, don’t rush yourself into anything, don’t try to suppress your emotions, and always have someone to talk to. Even though you’re a strong woman, you still need someone to share your thoughts with. That doesn’t make you weak. It actually makes you even stronger because you’re able to admit when you need help.
6. Set some goals for the future
As you already know, the period after a relationship (or anything similar to it) is a great time to make some decisions and change the outcome of your life. So, use this time alone wisely and realize which way you want your life to go.
Don’t fall under the pressure of others and don’t think that you should be doing something just because someone else said so. This is your life and you have every right to choose how you want to live it.
If you still don’t feel ready to go back on the dating scene, then take your time. Don’t listen to a cousin who keeps telling you how you’re wasting time and instead, allow your mind and body to rest from all of the emotions you’ve been through.
You’re not going to be late for anything, even if you don’t feel that way right now. Everything that’s happening to you is meant to take you to your final destination where you’ll finally feel like things are just how they’re supposed to be.
So, set your own goals and keep on living your life at your own pace. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone because this is your life and you can live it however you want.
You just ended a situationship and even though you assumed it would be easier, you now realize how much you’ve been through. You’ve been under a lot of stress and you need some time to get back to your old self.
As long as you know that’s perfectly okay, everything should be fine. Just be present and be aware of your feelings. When you’re feeling down, grab a journal and put your emotions on paper, cry your heart out, and listen to the songs that always make you feel better.
Do everything you want because it’s your life and you’re in control of it.