Think aloud
How long do rebound relationships last? Can you make it last?
I’m guessing that you’re already seeing all the signs that your relationship is nothing more than a rebound. Still, you want to believe there’s more to your story than something this trivial.
A rebound relationship can be described as a type of relationship that happens very quickly after one of you has come out of a relationship. For example, if your partner just came out of a serious relationship, and he’s already talking about serious stuff with you.
He tells you that he loves you, that he cares for you, that you’re the most beautiful woman to him, and so on. I mean, it raises suspicions in you, as well. You feel like things are going too fast, but it’s too perfect to let go.
Most people take a long time to bond. They need time to figure out if they’re compatible – if they have similar wants and needs – to see if this is even the person for them.
No one wants to spend months or potentially years with someone who only sees you as a rebound. You want a person who’ll give you all of their time and attention, for the rest of your life.
That’s why rebound relationships are so dangerous. Your heart can be broken in a matter of seconds.
The psychology of a rebound relationship
Before you start questioning how long rebound relationships last, you need to understand the psychology of this phenomenon.
To be completely honest, a rebound relationship is nothing more than a self-healing journey of the person who just got out of a relationship. They don’t know how to live without a partner by their side, so they find someone who’s attractive and kind and just roll with it.
This doesn’t mean that they’re a bad person. They may be kind, caring, and the most charming human being out there. However, deep down, they’ll want to continue something that isn’t there anymore.
This is especially true for men who just got out of a long-term relationship. After years of being with one person, they don’t really understand what it means to be single again.
Sometimes people have vicious intentions. They just want to get back at their ex, and it doesn’t matter who they may hurt in the process. In this case, you’re nothing more than a means to an end, which is absolutely unacceptable.
The man you’re with isn’t even thinking straight. He may actually believe that he’s in love with you when, in actuality, he only wants someone to fill the void that his ex created.
How long do rebound relationships last?
You can see that he’s invested in making you his own, which is exactly why you can’t stop questioning how long rebound relationships last.
To put it frankly, never long. It doesn’t matter how much effort you put into this relationship. There’s a slim chance that this relationship will be long-lasting.
Most commonly, these relationships last between a month and a year. Many last even less than a month.
On extremely rare occasions, they can last longer. And something that may start off as a rebound relationship can turn into something serious and long-term. You may even find your life partner this way and stay together forever.
That doesn’t mean it’ll be easy, it just means that both partners will need to put a lot of effort into the relationship to make it work.
But, we’re only talking about the short-term rebounds here. If it lasts longer, then it wasn’t a rebound in the first place.
To be more specific, rebounds last until the moment he decides that he’s healed. It may not be a conscious decision, but rather a revelation from deep within.
He’ll start saying that he’s been through enough and that he just wants everything to be peaceful again. Which makes no sense. No one should bring up their past relationships as an excuse for why they don’t want to put effort into the relationship.
Nonetheless, that’s exactly when he’ll walk away from you. It may happen in a month, but this relationship could also drag on for longer, making the heartbreak even worse.
5 reminders to help you get through this
1. You have the right to ask for what you want.
Once you find out how long rebound relationships last, you may become frightened. You know that this won’t last long, so you simply draw back into yourself.
What you do need to understand is that you have the right to ask for what you want. If you want a serious relationship, you should be open about it.
If something doesn’t appear to be part of the relationship dynamic that you want, then you need to speak up about it.
Just because you went into this relationship understanding that it may be a rebound, you shouldn’t avoid difficult conversations. Ask him about it, talk about it, and don’t settle for being a rebound just because you want him in your life.
Because staying silent will break your heart even more.
Even if you’ll just be together for a couple of months, you have a right to voice your thoughts and feelings.
2. You deserve genuine love.
Okay, so how long do rebound relationships last when you feel like you’re getting the love and attention you deserve? Is this still just a rebound if someone loves you the way you want to be loved?
Well, if you’re really in a rebound relationship, this means that your partner is trying to get over someone.
He wants to move on from his previous relationship, and he could either be a complete jerk or the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. Just remember that he had years to learn how to be a good boyfriend with someone else.
Genuine love – the love that you deserve – is seen in the small gestures. It’s not love if he’s constantly trying to talk to you about his ex.
3. Just because he’s hurt, it doesn’t mean that you have to help him heal.
There’s a good chance that you didn’t like hearing how long rebound relationships last.
You want him to heal and to love you the way he loved her, or maybe even more. You want to have a happy and healthy relationship that will make you excited about every new day.
But he needs to do a lot of healing before that’s possible. And although he’s hurt, that doesn’t mean you have to stay by his side through all of it.
If this is nothing more than a rebound, you’re not obligated to stay. He’ll move on to someone else once you’re done helping him heal. Why would you want your relationship to be this shallow?
I know that, as women, we want to be there for our partners and help them. But this isn’t your responsibility. He can take that time to heal and mend his heart, and then start something with you.
Ask yourself this: Should you really put so much time and energy into a relationship that’s going to last a year (at best)?
4. Take what you need from the relationship, if you choose to stay.
Many people will simply walk away once they realize it’s a rebound relationship. Many people want more from romance than this, and they’re not ready to settle, which is completely understandable.
However, if you choose to stay, make sure that you get what you need from this relationship.
Maybe you’ve gone through a tough breakup recently, and you also need a rebound. You need someone who will give you the attention that you need, to remind you that you’re worthy of love. Sometimes, you can both profit from this type of relationship.
So, if you choose to stay even though you know this is nothing more than a rebound, then make sure that you get what you need. If you need a companion for these tough times, then use this opportunity.
You’re probably both broken and bruised right now. It’s better to be on the same page and have a common goal than to genuinely fall in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same in return.
You’ll have this man for a month, or in the best-case scenario, a year! Use that time wisely.
5. Don’t waste your time.
Last, but definitely not least: Don’t waste your time!
You’ve probably thought about how you didn’t want to lose months on someone who isn’t there to stay. Someone who can’t give anything other than fleeting moments of affection.
If you can’t get anything from a rebound relationship, if you feel like there’s nothing other than heartbreak at the end of this, then don’t waste your time!
There’s someone out there who will do anything to keep you around. There’s someone who will love you truthfully and wholeheartedly. Don’t stand in your own way of a loving and healthy relationship.
It’s time to face facts: A rebound doesn’t last.