Think aloud
Getting married is a huge step in everyone’s life, but most of us don’t want to drastically change our lives because of it. We still want to have some time for ourselves and meet with friends who were there before the spouse came. But lately, you’ve been feeling as if your friends are sabotaging your relationship. Is that how friends destroy marriages?
You would never expect to see someone so close to you trying to ruin your marriage. You thought that your friends would support you through all the ups of downs, and be there to give you advice during any disagreement with your wife.
But the more you think about it, the more you realize that your buddies aren’t as perfect as you thought them to be. Even your spouse has pointed out on multiple occasions how they’re toxic, but you didn’t want to believe those words.
Could it be that your friends are jealous of your new life? Do they wish they were married too, and is that the reason why they’re acting weird? Or are they genuinely trying to ruin your marriage? Let’s find out what’s hiding behind their sketchy behavior!
How do friends destroy marriages?
When we think of real friends, we think of people who stand by our side no matter what. We think of people who laugh and cry with us, depending on the occasion. However, we don’t necessarily think that they will be the ones to ruin our marriage.
Your friends were one of the first people to know that you were getting married. Back in time, they seemed happy about it but now, you don’t know if that’s really the case. What has changed?
When you get a feeling that your friends are trying to destroy your marriage, you instantly feel sad. Is this even possible? Are you overreacting?
Truth be told, your buddies are doing exactly what your gut feeling is telling you. And this is how you can be sure what their real intentions are.
1. They don’t approve of your spouse
Now that you’re married, it’s normal to keep mentioning your spouse much more. The two of you share a home and a life which means that you spend all this time together.
Most of the time, when you want to talk to your friends about something that happened to you, it makes sense that your spouse is going to be a part of that story as well.
But every time they hear the name of your partner, they make some weird comments. They react angrily and ignore you or even openly tell you how you’ve made a terrible decision. What’s going on?
At first, you thought that they needed some time to get used to the fact that you’re married now. But it’s been a while and they’re still acting the same.
Are they jealous? Angry? You’re 100% sure that your spouse never hurt them in any way, so what’s the issue then? Why are they hating on the person you love the most?
2. They demand a level of attention reserved for your spouse
Before you got married, you probably spent a lot of time with your friends. You were successfully balancing your work, partner, and your friendship and everyone seemed to be happy about it.
Now that you said the vows, your relationship dynamic changed. You spend way more time with your spouse, which is totally fine, especially because you’re newlyweds. However, your friends don’t think that’s okay. Is this how friends destroy marriages?
They keep demanding the same level of attention that your spouse is getting. First of all, that’s not possible and second of all, that’s not okay.
Your spouse comes first and they should be clear with that. Once they get married, they will make their spouses a priority as well. That’s simply how it works.
But right now, they don’t seem to approve of your behavior. They keep calling you out and blaming you that you don’t spend enough time with them. It’s obvious that they demand all the attention they can get since they don’t care about your wife.
3. They don’t respect boundaries
Friends who don’t respect your boundaries are friends who destroy marriages. This is especially the case if you’re hanging out with people of the opposite gender.
Texting you in the middle of the night, referring to you with cute nicknames, and sitting almost in your lap when you’re out together isn’t something a good friend would do. This only signifies that your friend doesn’t respect the boundaries and is doing everything in their power to hurt your spouse.
Imagine how you would feel if you caught your significant other having this kind of friendship with a person of the opposite gender. It doesn’t sound nice, right? So, how do you think your spouse feels right now?
4. They expect you to take them everywhere you go
Before you were married, you often took your friends to family reunions and monthly BBQs with your cousins. Now that you said “I do,” it’s only logical that you take your spouse to these events. But guess who gets angry when they find out that they’re not going with you? Of course, it’s your friends.
Somehow, they don’t seem to comprehend when they’re crossing the line. They don’t understand that what they expect from you makes no sense at all.
You definitely won’t leave your significant other at home only to bring your friends to a family gathering. That’s just crazy.
Every time you try to have a conversation with them, they simply dismiss you. They keep repeating how they used to go everywhere with you and how your spouse changed you. They keep telling you that you’re not the same person anymore. This is just one of the ways how friends destroy marriages.
I’m sure you’re feeling powerless right now since no matter what you do, someone gets angry at you. But you should know that there are certain boundaries your friends shouldn’t cross. And right now, they’re not only crossing them but they’re also sabotaging your happiness.
Are you sure they’re your real friends?
5. They have a bad influence on you
Even though you’re the one who chooses to do certain things in life, your friends can have a bad influence on you. For example, they may pressure you to start drinking simply because all of them are drinking too.
In the beginning, this may not seem like a big deal but eventually, it will affect your marriage. Your spouse will get upset if you end up partying all night with your friends, especially if it becomes a regular thing. You’re not in high school anymore and you should be aware of your priorities.
But as soon as you realize what you’re doing, they will start criticizing you and they may even start cracking jokes about you.
6. They give you bad advice
Arguments are a normal part of every relationship and sometimes, you feel the need to ask someone for their opinion about the issue you’re having. Reaching out to your friends sounds like a logical thing to do since they used to be always there for you when you needed their help.
However, now that you’re married, they seem to be giving you some weird pieces of advice, to say the least. When you think about it, their instructions are only making things worse.
Every time you listen to their opinion, you end up having an even worse fight with your spouse. Could it be that they’re doing it on purpose? Are they trying to sabotage your marriage?
Well, if you realize that they’re exhibiting more than one type of behavior from this list, the chances are that they have bad intentions. It seems that their jealousy is taking control over them, even though that’s the last thing you want to hear.
7. They don’t want to accept that you’re married now
These people don’t seem to respect the fact that you need some alone time with your spouse. They often tag along whenever you’re having date nights or they make you feel guilty for rejecting to hang out with them from time to time.
They don’t understand that, now that you’re married, you have more responsibilities. You don’t have enough free time to go out with them every single night. Most of them are probably single or dating which means that they’re not as busy as you are.
What will happen if you decide to have kids? I wouldn’t be surprised if they started blaming you for staying at home much more than you used to.
It’s obvious that they don’t care about your happiness. The only thing that’s bothering them is the fact that they want to have you all for themselves. And truth be told, that doesn’t sound like a healthy friendship.
If you want an honest opinion, I’m gonna tell you right away that these people are simply pretending that they care about you. In reality, the only thing that bothers them is the fact that you’re not blindly following their lead.
Are they really your friends or frenemies? Think about it for a second!
Read more: 11 Things That Destroy A Marriage To Give You A Heads-Up