Think aloud
How do cheaters feel after the breakup?
It’s a mystery as they never talk about these things openly. It’s like these men act as if nothing ever happened and they can just ignore their past. All we can do is speculate about their feelings and thoughts.
Fortunately, we found a way to talk to men who were willing to share their thoughts and feelings.
It’s not as black and white as we may believe at first. Everyone has their own story to share and it could trigger some unwanted memories. So just be aware of that before going into this.
This article doesn’t exist for you to feel some kind of contempt for these men or because we want you to feel sorry for them and then forgive the man who did this to you. Your feelings are valid and whatever you thought of doing at the time is unique to you and you had the right to it.
We’re just here to share a few different perspectives on how cheaters feel after a breakup.
1. “I deserved to lose her”
“What would you do if you woke up one day and realized you deserve to feel the pain you’re in? Well, that’s every day of my life.
I think of my ex every day. She’s my first thought the morning and the last before I fall asleep at night. You’d think that I’d move on if I was the one who cheated, but no.
She was caring, loving, kind, and considerate. One drunk night brought me to the knees of my dignity and I haven’t stood back on my feet since. I lost her and I know I deserve the pain I’m going through.
I just hope that one day she’ll be able to forgive me. The day she decides to just acknowledge my existence will be the happiest of my life.
She didn’t deserve a cheating boyfriend. There’s a hole in my chest shaped like her and I’ll have to live with it forever.”
– Matthew, 33
2. “I didn’t even bother to apologize”
“Whoever says they were unfaithful against their own will is lying. I can tell you with certainty that it’s a conscious decision.
Now, when you ask me what cheaters feel after a breakup, I can honestly tell you that I feel no remorse. I probably would if I was in love with the woman, but she knew what she was getting into.
Before we even started dating, I told her that I couldn’t give her a serious relationship. I’m young. I’ve got so much to experience that it makes no sense to me to bind myself to one person.
So when all of this went down, I didn’t even bother apologizing. Did it hurt somewhere deep within? Absolutely, yes. But will that make me feel worse about my decision? No.
I’m sorry for wasting both of our time, but she knew what she was getting the moment I slid into her DMs. Back then, she was the side-chick.
She should’ve known. At least I’m free again.”
– Jason, 29
3. “It was a mistake”
“How do cheaters feel after the breakup? Wow, that one’s a toughie.
Well… It hurts like hell. It feels like you let the only person who was ever there for you down. Now you’re all alone and you have to live with your own conscience every day.
That’s the scariest part, you know? When you have this constant reminder that you lost her because of one stupid mistake you made.
Yes, I had a couple of drinks, the girl was beautiful, we danced, and things escalated quickly. Does that justify my behavior? No. But if she’d given me another chance, I would’ve made it right.
She won’t even read this, I don’t know why I’m even telling you this. But it feels like a whole heap of trash that’s been thrown onto your shoulders and now you have to carry it around, trying hard not to let it bring you down. And it’s like a trademark that everyone knows you by.
But I could live with that, only if I had her by my side right now.”
– Gary, 30
4. “It wasn’t such a big deal!”
“Ugh, why do people make such a big deal out of it? We’re all human.
It’s like I don’t deserve a second chance. Well, that’s what I feel. Like I’m some type of criminal that doesn’t deserve any redemption.
Okay, yes, I messed up. I could find a way to fix it and work on it, but that crazy woman just started creating more drama than what was needed.
Now I’m just angry and frustrated. I mean, don’t make such a big deal out of such a small thing. It was one night and it has nothing to do with the love I felt for her.
Now I’m the bad guy? Great. That’s just great.”
– Scott, 25
5. “She did it first, so I thought it would make me feel better”
“Back then a revenge affair was the perfect way to cope. Or at least, that’s what I thought. Now I know I was sorely mistaken.
I should’ve shown her that I was a better man than that. She did regret her decision and she’d cry night after night, begging me to forgive her.
It’s heartbreaking to see the person you love the most in the world in that much pain, especially when I told her that I did it, too. I’ll never forget her facial expression when I told her. But I guess it had to be done – back then, I didn’t know any better.
You’re asking how cheaters feel after a breakup? Like absolute trash. Like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. Especially when you both know there’s no way to turn back time and stop yourself from making this mistake in the first place.
I’m guessing that’s the answer you wanted to hear?”
– Philip, 46
