Think aloud
Guys who have never had a girlfriend are quite rare nowadays. You won’t just bump into one randomly, especially if you’re not a teenager.
There are many reasons why a man has never had a girlfriend. It could simply be because he has never had time for one before or because he never paid too much attention to a girl.
Other than that, it could also be because he simply doesn’t believe in actual relationships or doesn’t want to put labels on things.
Either way, if you’re looking for the signs that guys who have never had a girlfriend show, then you must be thinking about dating him, right? If that’s the case, you may want to keep a close eye out, especially when you’re just starting to date him.
You like him, as he’s sweet, caring, and charming. However, he keeps his past dating experiences a secret.
So how do you find out whether he has ever had a girlfriend or not? Well, you need to watch out for all the signs.
Even if he tells you that he’s never dated anyone, you may not quite believe him.
I mean, who could blame you? What are the chances that a guy his age has never had an actual girlfriend?
Well, let’s figure this out together. It doesn’t matter whether this is something you’re attracted to or not, you need to give him a chance either way, as he’s probably going to treat you quite well.
Possible reasons why a guy has never had a girlfriend
Sometimes it’s very important to understand the reasons why someone has never been in a relationship. Guys who have never had a girlfriend may not even want to talk about this type of thing, though.
He may feel a little bit uneasy or weirded out if you’re experienced with dating but he isn’t. He’ll feel like you’ll make fun of him.
That’s why you may want to figure out why he’s never had a girlfriend without actually making him feel bad about it.
What you have to understand is that you have to be a little bit more empathetic right now because this could be a sensitive topic for him.
If you really want to talk to him about this, then you should have a clear picture of the possible reasons why.
1. He’s a very shy guy
When you look at guys who have never had a girlfriend, the first thing you’ll notice is that they’re very shy. If he’s a shy guy, he might have never felt comfortable enough when talking to women.
He may stammer over his words, avoid any type of eye contact, and not even try to make a move on a girl. He’s not the type to blame girls for it or call himself ‘one of the good guys‘ but he’s more scared to talk to girls than anything.
If you want to know whether this is the reason why he’s never had a girlfriend, just remember all of your interactions before you got to know him a bit better. You can probably remember a time when he wouldn’t talk to you at all.
You can also look at the way he talks to other women. If he doesn’t talk to them at all, the chances are he’s just too shy to even try and make a move on a woman.
2. He’s too aggressive
However, if he’s not the shy type then he could be on another side of the spectrum. You’ll never see a man who’s too aggressive in his pursuit of a woman having had an actual girlfriend.
He slides into everyone’s DMs, makes a huge deal every single time, and then expects the girl to fall head over heels for him. When he gets rejected, he makes a huge fuss about it and then accuses her of not having any taste.
How can someone like that even expect a woman to respect him and see him as a potential partner? At this point, he isn’t even getting the memo.
He thinks that he has the right to a girlfriend just by sliding into her messages; however, that’s not how things work. He isn’t giving it the slightest thought and doesn’t think twice about being inappropriate.
How could he have ever had a girlfriend?
3. He doesn’t put himself out there
How many men do you know who just expect the perfect woman to fall into their lap? Too many, right?
Just look at your own male friends. They play video games all day, hang out with their friends, and don’t leave their house for weeks.
They expect a woman to just knock on their door and be ready to deal with their video game obsession.
Most of the time, men like him aren’t even sad that they’ve never had a girlfriend. They’re aware of how much time they spend on their computer and don’t ask many questions.
The issue arises when guys who have never had a girlfriend expect you to deal with such behavior.
For example, does he forget to reply to your text messages because he’s busy playing games? Does he forget that you exist because of his little fantasy world?
Of course, we all have our hobbies but they never stand in the way of our relationship. So a man who lets them take over instead of putting his partner first will never be in an actual relationship.
4. He’s a player
Has this idea ever occurred to you before? How much do you know about his relationships in the past?
You just know that none of those girls were his actual girlfriends. He simply had casual relationships here and there but never anything official.
That’s because he’s probably a player. Now that he does want a serious relationship, no one is taking him seriously.
It just doesn’t seem right to be with a man who so obviously doesn’t care about making things official, right?
He says that he’s ready to change his ways and show you just how much he appreciates you but you’re not really sure about that.
This is a very common reason why some guys have never had a girlfriend before and you’re scared to be the first one.
5. He doesn’t take care of himself
He does seem like a nice guy but he doesn’t take care of himself. You know that he doesn’t shower as often as he probably should and you know that he doesn’t know how to cook or clean.
The few times you went over to his place, it looked like a complete mess. Is that any way for an adult man to actually live his life?
I’d say no but what do I know?
When a man doesn’t take care of himself, no woman wants to act like his mother and remind him to do the basics. You shouldn’t be the one to do these things for him either.
If he needs a reminder to go take a shower every single morning, then no woman wants to be around him.
Guys who have never had a girlfriend won’t even look at their awful habits as the issue. He’ll probably brush past this problem and then pretend as if he doesn’t know what you’re talking about when you mention it.
Of course, no woman wants to treat a grown man like a baby but he shouldn’t act like one either.
How to spot guys who have never had a girlfriend
Now that we’ve covered some of the more common reasons why some guys have never had a girlfriend, it’s time to look out for the signs. How do you spot a man like this?
How do you know whether he’s just lying to you about his previous relationships? Maybe you want to start something serious with him but you see his weird behavior and you genuinely don’t know how to act anymore?
Either way, you still need to be able to spot the signs of guys who have never had a girlfriend. You want to be sure that this is the issue so that you can bring it up as a conversation topic.
Pro tip: You really should be able to talk about this, with or without the signs showing. If you want to make sure that he’s really inexperienced with relationships, you can spot these but without a proper conversation, you won’t get far in your relationship.
1. He doesn’t know how to plan a date
When he takes you out on dates, how well-thought-out are they? Did he take you to that picnic you were telling him about?
Did he take you to wine and dine? Or did he take you to the last movie in a saga that you haven’t even watched?
Guys who have never had a girlfriend will most probably take you on this last one. Or a monster truck show.
It may sound funny but you won’t be laughing when he takes you to one of those and you’re left wondering what you did wrong in life.
A guy who’s been in a relationship before will know that he has to listen to what you want to do and find something for you both. He’ll know how important it is to take you out to something that you’ll enjoy instead of something that’s only for his own pleasure.
Someone who’s never been in a relationship won’t know that. He has no way of knowing, which is why the plans he makes seem so juvenile.
2. He’s extremely awkward around you
Guys who have never had a girlfriend are extremely awkward to be around, especially if they’re still trying to figure out the dating game.
He’ll take you out, completely avoid eye contact, and then ask you questions that just don’t let the conversation flow. When the silence becomes overbearing, he’ll end up downing his drink too fast and choking on it.
You can look at how much he fidgets with himself whenever he’s around you. He’ll constantly try to readjust the way he’s sitting.
There will be so many rushed moments that are followed by silence that you’ll lose count of them.
A guy who has experience with girls will know what to do to avoid these moments. He’ll always find a smooth way to transition from one topic to the next without making things weird.
If he’s really just trying to figure out this dating game, it’ll be easy to tell. Believe me.
3. He doesn’t know how to talk about relationships
Men aren’t usually really good at communicating, so imagine the guys who have never had a girlfriend and their failed attempts to talk about relationships.
Guys who have never dated don’t really know that conversations aren’t just small talk. He’ll probably ask you about your relationship goals and then he’ll go about his day.
He wants to know whether you want to get married one day and that’s when he’s just going to sidetrack the conversation to something else.
He doesn’t acknowledge the things you say, nor does he add his own opinion. Even when he does, it’s just a nod of his head and then a short answer in return.
This doesn’t help the absolutely awkward atmosphere around you.
He has no relationship goals and he has no idea what a relationship should look like. You can’t even ask him for an opinion about someone else’s relationship without him being completely confused.
If that’s the case, this guy has never had a girlfriend in his life.
4. He doesn’t understand your needs
Another sign that shows a guy has never had a girlfriend is when he doesn’t understand your needs.
It doesn’t matter what type of needs we’re talking about, he probably won’t understand you. You need to spell things out for him in colorful letters and with pictures.
This will be a huge turn-off for you but you should understand his point of view in this situation. He doesn’t know how to communicate his own needs, let alone understand yours.
For example, when you tell him that you need some time to figure out whether this is the relationship you want, he freaks out. He doesn’t know what that means because in his head, everything was completely fine.
If it was up to him, he’d call you his girlfriend right away. However, your needs are much different.
Another example is when you try to tell him that you need him to call you more, text you more, or talk to you more in general and he thinks that you’re asking for too much.
In his mind, there’s no actual need for that if you saw each other the day before.
To him, everything is just too confusing because he hasn’t had a girlfriend before.
5. He doesn’t understand obvious cues
Guys who have never had a girlfriend are clueless when it comes to obvious cues.
It’s a common thing for men to be confused in general, as they often don’t know how to read in-between the lines, but he’s just a tad more confused than the norm.
Your obvious cues could involve you moving closer to him, silently asking him to put his arm around you, but he doesn’t get it. Or when you flirt with him, you make eye contact and try to seduce him but he just brushes it aside.
Your natural response to this will be to feel rejected but that’s completely normal. You feel like that because you’ve made a move and you want to see him reciprocate the same energy but he simply doesn’t get it.
Maybe try to understand that when you brush your hand against his as a cue for him to take your hand into his, he’ll think that it was just an accident. He isn’t able to read these signs because he’s never had to deal with them.
This will probably be the most obvious sign that he has never been in a relationship before.
6. He’s too romantic or not romantic at all
How can a guy be too romantic? We’re always talking about how much we want a man who’s soft and romantic to the point where he spoils us but there needs to be a line.
He can’t just jump into a Shakespearean monologue every single time you meet eyes. He’s ‘too romantic‘ when he doesn’t care about your boundaries and shows up under your window, yelling songs from the bottom of his soul.
You probably told him that these things weren’t okay for you but he thought that he was doing the right thing. He saw it in a movie once and how he’s climbing up to your balcony to talk to you.
He thought that this was the best thing to do but what he doesn’t know is that there need to be lines that can’t be crossed. But how would he know that if he has never had a girlfriend before?
On the other side of that spectrum is a guy who wouldn’t know romance if it hit him in the face. He doesn’t know how to be romantic or plan something romantic and he doesn’t even know how to compliment you.
He feels awkward with all of that because he has never had to do it before. You could be next to him freezing but he won’t think to lend you his jacket.
7. He doesn’t have any relationship-oriented goals
Most of us don’t know what we actually want in a romantic relationship. We have visions that we want to turn into reality but when it comes down to it, quite often, we end up liking things that we never thought we would.
Even if that’s the case, we still have certain goals in mind. For example, you may want to take things slowly.
You’re ready to take things to a new level once you get to know someone better. You want someone who will take you out on dates at least once a week or someone who will meet your parents during the first year of dating.
You want them to respect you and know their boundaries with their female friends and so on.
Guys who have never had a girlfriend simply don’t know what they want. They don’t know because they’ve never had a girlfriend, which led to them not knowing what they do or don’t want.
When you ask him about marriage, he just shrugs and sidetracks the conversation.
When you ask him about what his perfect relationship looks like, he has no idea or he has too many ideas that let you know that he’s not really being realistic.
You can see all of these signs if he has never had a girlfriend before and they can be seen from a mile away, even on the first day you two get together.
Don’t let that discourage you and just know that it’ll take time to show him what an actual relationship looks like.
8. He’s too eager for commitment
I can tell you about my experience with a guy who’d never had a girlfriend in his life. He wanted us to sit next to a river and talk, which I completely agreed to.
However, when we went for a walk around town, his sister called him, which is when I knew for sure that he had never been in a relationship in his life. She asked him who he was with and he told her that he was with his girlfriend.
This was the first time we had ever gone out and I hadn’t even talked much to him before. He was so eager to start a relationship that he didn’t understand my fury when he ended the call.
He was genuinely confused because he thought that this was it. We’d only had one conversation prior (a very awkward one, might I add) and then he believed that I was his girlfriend.
Now that’s a big red flag that lets you know instantly that a guy has never been in a relationship before.
He doesn’t know that there’s a certain timeline he has to follow, nor does he understand that many other needs have to be met first.
You may think it’s cute at first but it’s actually not that fun at all.
How do you date a guy who’s never had a girlfriend?
There’s only one word of advice that I have for you – patience!
You can’t expect him to be the perfect boyfriend without you helping him out a bit. If you really do believe that he’s the one for you and he’s nice, considerate, kind, and treats you well, you’ll have to be patient.
You’ll probably have to teach him how to be a good boyfriend and how to communicate with you and you’ll have to tell him what is and isn’t acceptable.
With that being said, if you believe that it’s too much work for you, instead tell him that right away rather than waiting for him to fall in love with you even more. You need to be fair by voicing your opinion on this.
It won’t be easy but if you believe that he’s worth it, you’ll work through it. If it’s too much for you, then let him find someone who’ll be better for him.
