Think aloud
Escaping forced relationships and breaking free from the hellhole can be an intimidating thought.
Many people don’t even realize that they’re in a forced relationship. They think that it’s the biggest sign of love if their partner stays by their side through everything.
However, this is extremely detrimental to both of you. You may want to stay with him, but forcing things to work out when it’s actually not working in your favor is nothing more than abuse.
There are two potential reasons why you’re in this relationship. The first is that your partner has made you believe that no one will ever love you the way he does. You believe that leaving him will be detrimental to your life, so you stay and force yourself to love him.
The other reason is that you’re the toxic one. No one wants to hear that, but you genuinely need to understand this.
Sometimes, without even knowing, you’re forcing your boyfriend to stay by your side. He may want out of the relationship, but you’re the one telling him that you’ll work things out or that you’ll be devastated if he left.
In both of these scenarios, it’s not healthy. A healthy relationship should be between two people who want to be there. Love should be your main focus, but keeping your partner around for the sake of it isn’t doing anyone any good.
Breaking free: Escaping forced relationships
I know that it can be hard to even contemplate escaping forced relationships. This doesn’t just have to be a romantic relationship, but rather any type of relationship where you feel like it’s just not working out the way you wanted it to.
However, you need to realize that leaving is the best option here. Escaping this relationship will help you understand the world better, and it’ll help you find the best possible solution for yourself.
This is why we’ve compiled a list of things that you need to do in order to escape. I know that it’s hard, and it seems impossible right now, but we’ll help you get through this.
1. Find a good support system
Before escaping a forced relationship, the first thing you need to do is find a good support system. The keyword here is “good”!
There are so many toxic people out there who will want you to suffer just as much as they are. They don’t want to see you happy at all, which means that they won’t give you the support you need.
If you have a good relationship with your family, then you can confide in them about your problems. Tell them what you’ve been going through and what you’ve been thinking about.
I can promise you that they’ll stick by your side, and they’ll give you the extra push you need right now.
Some of your closest friends should be within this circle as well. I can tell you with certainty that I wouldn’t have made it out of the forced relationship I was in if I hadn’t had my best friend tell me: “I can’t believe you’re staying with him after everything!”
Those people will support you on your journey, and they’ll hold your hand through the tough times. They’ll help you find the love and trust that you’ve always had for yourself.
2. Stop thinking that you’re worthless
Easier said than done, right? It’s like telling someone to stop worrying or stop being nervous. It only makes them more worried and nervous.
Nonetheless, this is your perfect weapon against this type of relationship. Escaping forced relationships when you feel worthless is almost impossible.
Your partner has made you believe that no one will ever love you as much as he does. He told you that life without him would be catastrophic and meaningless.
He said these things so many times that it genuinely made you believe them. You believe that you’re worthless and even when you feel your best, there’s still a little voice in your head humbling you.
Do affirmations, journal, and realize that you have so much to offer. You’re an amazing partner and a great friend. You’re devoted, loyal, and affectionate. And you have so much to offer in a romantic relationship. One day, someone will come around who’ll know how to cherish those things.
3. Understand that you will find a partner when you’re ready
“No one will love you as much as I do!”
“You’ll never find someone! Who’d put up with you? You’re lucky I’m patient.”
It’s hard to hear those things come out of the mouth of the person you love and adore. Nonetheless, you need to understand that those words are toxic and manipulative.
Sentences like these make this type of relationship so forced. They make you believe that you should be lucky that anyone is in your life because you don’t deserve love.
But that’s not true.
Escaping forced relationships is a tough quest. You feel like you’ll never be lovable again, or that you’ll never love again. But there are so many wonderful people out there who will love and cherish you unconditionally.
This new person will show you what healthy love is like, and you won’t have to beg them to stay. They’ll want to be there regardless of the ups and downs.
However, you can’t get true love if you’re the one who’s blocking your blessings.
4. Place your own wants and needs above anything and anyone
You only have one life to live. If you don’t choose to live it in a way that’s fulfilling to you (mentally, physically, and emotionally), then one day, you’ll look back at your life with bucketloads of regret.
You shouldn’t do that! Don’t be one of those who come to a point where they ask themselves why they married the person they did. After a while, you’ll start to realize that you could’ve left because it was quite easy.
Please, put your own wants and needs first. I know that it’s hard to leave someone who tells you that you’re the light of their life, but they should learn how to enjoy life by themselves.
Just because your partner is desperately forcing you to stay with him, doesn’t mean that he won’t thrive once he’s single.
Oh, and don’t believe his threats. He may threaten to take his life or hurt someone, but just stand your ground. Remember, you’re not responsible for the actions of other people.
5. Make a list of reasons why you’re leaving the relationship
Escaping forced relationships can create a huge mess in your head. You feel like your thoughts will never fall into place.
This is why you should make a list of all the reasons you’re leaving the relationship. To be honest, this is the point where you already know that you should leave. You’re just making sure that you can communicate that properly.
Once you make that list and come face-to-face with your partner, you’ll be able to give him all the reasons and arguments why this relationship isn’t going to work. These reasons are very authentic to your relationship, and you can probably name 10 from the top of your head.
6. Don’t be selfish
You’re probably thinking that I’m going crazy, aren’t you? I just told you to put your needs above anyone else’s, and now I’m telling you to not be selfish.
Well, let me explain. Don’t be selfish in the sense that you become the person who’s forcing this relationship.
When you’re in love, you can easily become flooded with the fear of abandonment. You want your partner to stay by your side no matter what! But what if he’s the one who needs to escape?
This is hard to hear, I know. But sit down and talk to him. Ask him if he even wants to be in a relationship with you. Ask him what he thinks about your dynamic.
And, most importantly, don’t judge him or take things personally. Once he opens up about all of this, try to understand where he’s coming from, and then let go.
You can’t just keep him around because it’s easier for you. It’ll hurt, sure, but it’s better than being selfish.
7. Find adequate professional help
There’s a stigma going around about going to therapy. Even though it’s becoming normalized, many people are still against it. But I’m here to tell you to seek professional help!
I’m not saying that you’re nuts, I’m telling you that escaping a forced relationship can take a serious toll on your mental health. It’s better to find someone who will have an unbiased opinion and give you great coping strategies to handle the situation.
A therapist will understand your point of view. They’ll tell you that you have a right to your emotions, but they’ll give you a push in the right direction.
It’s never been easier to go to therapy, so please use this as a sign. Your mental health needs it, desperately. Your future needs this.