You sensed a lack of respect from the first date with this disrespectful man but you went with it anyway and made him a part of your love life. Still, to have a healthy relationship with such a man, you have to make him stop his disrespectful behavior. If you are in an abusive relationship, and deal with physical or emotional abuse, break up for good; there is no need for you to be with a narcissist who only cares about his own needs. You don’t have to take his bad behavior anymore.
Mutual respect is necessary for a healthy relationship so if he shows signs of being a disrespectful man, you must react. You have to take care of your mental health and self-esteem. A sign of disrespect on the first date is a major red flag, so don’t ignore it. You don’t want to end up in a bad relationship and take emotional abuse from a disrespectful man. There may be many reasons why a person feels disrespected and taking a person’s feelings into consideration is what could stop disrespectful behavior.
17 signs of a disrespectful man (and why you deserve better)
Why do men disrespect women? This is a question as old as time but let’s first make it clear that not all men are disrespectful. The thing is, disrespectful men are often those who have low self-esteem and some of them also had bad past experiences with women, which made them this way. In other cases, it could be that a disrespectful man is just inexperienced with women so he doesn’t know how to act appropriately. However, if your boyfriend is a narcissist who only cares about his own needs, read more about what to do. Be sure that he will always put his own needs first, and that is why you feel disrespected.
A lot of things can reveal that you’re dealing with a disrespectful person so pay attention to the signs of disrespect in a relationship. I will give you some tips on how to handle a disrespectful man but still, you have to preserve your mental health and know that you deserve a good guy so if your boyfriend isn’t willing to put effort into changing his disrespectful behavior, a break-up is inevitable. After all, you have to have mutual respect in your love life.
Read on to find out all the signs of a disrespectful man. If it turns out that your boyfriend is disrespecting you, keep reading because as I said, I will give you some tips about how to deal with a disrespectful man.
Signs of a disrespectful man
1. He makes you doubt your potential
Your disrespectful man probably disregards your opinions and thoughts, doesn’t he? This is why you doubt your potential. That lack of respect is exactly the reason why you are always questioning your future, your dreams, and your life. Every human being deserves to have support from their partner so, when he is instead making you doubt your potential, this is a sign of disrespect. It is almost impossible to achieve something when you are in a relationship with a disrespectful man so, he has to stop that bad behavior right away before you end up in an abusive relationship.
2. He doesn’t pay attention when you talk
You would expect a good guy to carefully listen to you when you are talking but your disrespectful man is always distracted when you want to talk to him. It doesn’t matter how important what you are saying is to you; he is either texting while you talk or looking across the room for something more interesting. Disrespectful men are incapable of taking another person’s feelings into consideration but there is no room for such disrespectful behavior in a healthy relationship. If he is texting while you talk, he is showing a huge lack of respect and no human being deserves that. He is simply not interested in you, and that has to stop if he wants to avoid a break-up.
3. He never keeps his promises
If you are in a relationship with a disrespectful man, be prepared for a lot of disappointment. Just like it’s not enough that he disrespects you in other ways, he won’t keep his promises either, which is a clear sign of disrespect in a relationship. His word isn’t worth anything because he will always break it. He keeps forgetting what you ask him to do or to call you back and he will disappoint you over and over again. You simply can’t depend on him, and that should be clear to you by now. It seems like you aren’t really that important to him. Disrespectful men are simply incapable of keeping their promises.
4. He makes fun of your career and goals in life
A disrespectful person might start making fun of your career and goals in life but you need to understand something… No matter how absurd your goals might be, your partner should be your biggest support and encourage you. By not doing so, and even laughing at you, he is showing a huge lack of respect. Any relationship where your partner doesn’t inspire you to chase your dreams is a bad relationship. Sometimes, the answer to why men disrespect women is that they don’t consider them capable of achieving things. You have to end this lack of respect by breaking up or by learning how to handle a disrespectful man. Do it for your future.
5. He doesn’t give you any personal space or time
It’s perfectly fine when your boyfriend surprises you by coming to see you at your office. It is even okay if he shows up unexpectedly when you’re hanging out with your friends. But when this happens too often, and you notice him keeping tabs on you, it’s one of the signs of a disrespectful man. A disrespectful person won’t give you any personal space or time and by not trusting you enough, he is disrespecting you. Everyone knows that relationships are built on trust so your relationship won’t work if he continues this disrespectful behavior. Such a lack of respect is unacceptable, so read on for how to deal with a disrespectful man.
6. He shows some narcissistic traits
It’s understood that his wishes, needs, and desires come first. They are his top priorities, and he will do anything to get what he wants. He is the center of his universe, and he doesn’t care how that reflects on you. Maybe he even thinks of you as inferior to him, which is one of the signs of a disrespectful man but it is also a sign that your boyfriend might have a narcissistic personality disorder, which shouldn’t be ignored. Read our articles about narcissists to see what I am talking about. If your guy has this problem, your relationship might not be salvageable because you will never be happy with such a disrespectful man who always puts himself first. You deserve to be a priority to your boyfriend.
7. He never apologizes
A disrespectful man is incapable of apologizing for the mistakes he makes. He is very stubborn and places the blame on you instead. He will do anything he can to avoid your criticism, so be prepared for a lot of lame excuses. He just can’t be wrong and will never admit it. Such a lack of respect will cause you to always be the one who apologizes and that disrespectful behavior has to stop right away, even if you have to talk to his family members about it. Both partners should share an equal amount of blame for what is wrong in their relationship and apologizing is the first step to solving those problems.
8. He keeps secrets from you
Honesty is one of the most important factors that make a relationship happy. It simply can’t be called a relationship if one partner is constantly lying to the other. Is your boyfriend keeping secrets from you? Does he become secretive around you? Have you caught him lying to you yet? All of that is very disrespectful behavior, and you should confront him about it. A relationship can be healthy only if both partners are honest with each other. Without honesty, there is no trust, and without trust, there is no relationship. You have to try to fix things or let him go.
9. He has forced you to completely change
It’s one thing to change a little to ensure compatibility with your partner but when he forces you to transform yourself, you have a big problem. Of course, you should fix certain things about you that really bother your partner and he should do the same as well… but if you have forgotten who you really are, you have gone too far. You shouldn’t have to transform yourself for anyone. After all, your partner should love and respect you for who you are. Your boyfriend doesn’t value you, and that is why you are disregarding yourself but some things shouldn’t be negotiable; he is the one who should change, since he is a disrespectful man.
10. He looks down on you in public
When you are with other people, he doesn’t notice you or looks down on you. You might find him even portraying you as a stupid person or acting embarrassed to be seen with you, which are huge red flags and massive disrespect that you shouldn’t tolerate. Let me tell you how things are supposed to work: Your boyfriend should be proud of you and be happy to present you as his girlfriend. He should make sure that only positive things about you are highlighted when you are in public. A normal boyfriend would portray you as the best woman in the world in front of other people so if he is doing the opposite, you have a problem on your hands.
11. He isn’t good at communicating
There is a certain lack of communication from his side. You feel like you are giving your all for this relationship to work, and he is doing only the bare minimum. He isn’t good at communicating, and when problems arise, you’re the only one who tries to solve them. A good boyfriend would put effort into communicating about the problems in your relationship; after all, you both have the same goal of solving them. But with this guy, it doesn’t seem that way. You feel like you have to fight alone for your relationship, and it seems like he doesn’t even care. Maybe it would be good to talk to his family members about it and see if they can get through to him. In any case, this disrespectful behavior has to stop.
12. He gives you the silent treatment
He doesn’t respect you enough to tell you the cause of any resentment and deal with it; instead, he will give you the silent treatment to manipulate you and he won’t allow you to clear things up. This is just one of the ways in which he disrespects you. Problems never go away when we ignore them. You two have to stop these unhealthy ways and have an honest talk about everything. If he keeps giving you the silent treatment every time something’s wrong, you will never be able to fix it. That is the kind of lack of communication from his side that we discussed earlier and it has to change.
13. He flirts with other women in front of you
The most obvious sign that your boyfriend doesn’t respect you is when he flirts with others in front of you. Even if he is just joking about being attracted to another woman, it’s a huge sign of disrespect. When a man really loves a woman, she is the only one for him and it would never cross his mind to look at other women if he truly loved you. You deserve to be the only woman in your partner’s life. If you think that you’re not, it’s time to leave him. Maybe he is just flirting for now, but if he is able to do that, what’s stopping him from cheating as well?
14. Household chores are always your job
A woman’s role is to stay in the kitchen. I get the creeps from that sentence, don’t you? Still, you have found yourself in such a situation. If you two live together, he doesn’t do anything around the house. Washing the dishes, cleaning up, and cooking are considered to be your jobs. What age do we live in? Thinking that a woman’s place is in the kitchen is terrible and really disrespectful. Stop taking care of the household chores right away, it isn’t your responsibility! He should be doing things around the house as well. If he isn’t willing to, there are plenty of guys who are. You are not his maid, nor his mother.
15. He makes important decisions without you
A man who doesn’t respect you won’t care about your opinion and that is why he will make all the important decisions without you. He acts as if he thinks that you won’t agree with him even though he hasn’t bothered to ask you. When you are in a couple, decisions should be made together so, if he doesn’t consider your point of view, you have a problem. It might even be that he doesn’t consider you intelligent enough to make good decisions, which is unacceptable. You should have an equal say in anything that regards you both.
16. He treats you like you are a child
When you don’t understand something, he treats you like a child. Don’t feel stupid about not knowing everything about everything. Just because you don’t know something he does doesn’t make you any less capable than him. He always treats you like you are beneath him. If he even tries talking to you like you are a child, it’s very disrespectful. You are a grown woman who is capable of anything. If he can’t see it, there’s someone who will. You don’t deserve to have him always looking down on you. In fact, he is the one who is immature; a mature person knows how to treat their partner with respect when they are in a serious relationship.
17. He is selfish in bed
Read our article about the signs of a selfish boyfriend if he also shows signs of selfishness. The truth is, disrespectful guys tend to be selfish in bed. His satisfaction is much more important than yours and the only thing he cares about is for him to get what he wants. It doesn’t bother him if he leaves you unsatisfied, as long as he is satisfied. It doesn’t matter to him that you are too tired or simply not in the mood; he has to get what he wants, even if you don’t.
How to deal with a disrespectful man
1. Discover the root of the problem
If you want to learn to deal with a disrespectful man, you have to first investigate the cause of such behavior. Question his reasoning for his actions as well as his words. Sometimes a man will intentionally use such language as a form of teasing, so he might not mean to hurt you but if he actually tries to control you by criticizing you, confront him about it. There is no excuse for deliberately hurting your feelings. Find an objective third person who can help you voice your concerns, as they might be able to help you both set some boundaries. You have to stop this disrespect in your relationship right away.
2. Confront him about the problem
You should be assertive when your boyfriend disrespects you. Show him that you are not going to allow such behavior to keep happening. Stand up for yourself and say enough to all the disrespect. Say things like, “I am not comfortable with the way you have been behaving,” or, “It hurts me when you speak to me in such a way.” The point is to assertively communicate what you expect from him from now on. It’s important to set boundaries, so make a list of the things you aren’t going to tolerate. Explain to him exactly what words and actions you aren’t comfortable with but the most important thing to remember is to stay calm when you confront him. Don’t raise your voice at him even if he does. Instead, try saying that you’re sorry he feels that way, but you won’t tolerate disrespect.
3. Take care of yourself
It’s essential that you nurture your own well-being. Start by taking a deep breath and keep breathing slowly to calm yourself down. It will be easier for you to control your reactions if you take care of your own health. Avoid lashing out and reacting in the same disrespectful manner as him. It’s important for your peace of mind that you think about how your reactions may affect it. Pick your battles and think about how his disrespect affects you. We must accept the things that we cannot change. You can tell him that he has to change if he wants to stay with you and try suggesting therapy as well but if nothing works, you have to accept that you can’t change those who don’t want to change.
All in all, if you have a disrespectful boyfriend, you shouldn’t tolerate that sort of behavior. Try confronting him about it and see if you can make things work. However, if he refuses to change, there is no option left but for you to let go. Understand that you deserve to be treated with respect and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. You will find a man who will love you and respect you like this guy never could. Good luck!