Think aloud
What are some signs he pretends to love you? I mean, that would be hard to guess, especially when someone is trying to hide their actual feelings the entire time.
At this point, you probably don’t even know what is and isn’t true.
You don’t want to believe that he’s able to do this. You genuinely want to trust him and the relationship that you have. However, it’s not easy to do so when something in your gut is telling you otherwise.
Something deep within you is giving you a reason to doubt him. That’s why you’re here, and you want someone to give you an answer.
I genuinely hope that this is nothing more than a deep-seated insecurity, but you deserve to know if he’s just playing you.
11 signs he pretends to love you
1. He brushes issues aside
One of the first signs he pretends to love you is when he brushes issues aside. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and it’s unrealistic to expect everything to be perfect.
The most important thing in this situation is to be open about those problems and to communicate about things. You can’t sweep things under the rug and expect them to magically get better.
However, it seems that he doesn’t want to talk about anything. Whenever you come to him about a problem, he seems annoyed at you, he looks like he’s just waiting for the conversation to end, and when you become persistent he starts avoiding you altogether.
In a healthy relationship, where you’re both in love with each other, you feel respected and seen whenever you feel any type of unease in your relationship.
2. He’s vague about his plans for the future
You probably know that a man who loves you will see a future with you. He’ll want to spend the rest of his life next to you. Nonetheless, your boyfriend doesn’t seem to fit into that.
You thought that it was because you just started dating, but now that you’ve been together for a while, it seems crazy to think that he wouldn’t want to plan your future together. Whenever you ask him anything, he just avoids the question or answers vaguely.
3. He’s looking at other women and often flirts with them
So, let me see if I’m right: you go out, you’re having an amazing time. However, at one point, your boyfriend starts talking to one of your friends and he becomes overly flirty. I mean, he starts complimenting that friend of yours, he starts hugging her and completely disregards your existence.
This isn’t the first time it’s happened, either. When you try to tell him that his behavior isn’t okay, he tells you that you’re insecure. He says that he’s in a relationship with you and that he could be with anyone, but he chose to be with you.
Do you genuinely believe that a guy who says this does so because he loves you?!
4. He’s big on physical intimacy, but affection isn’t his favorite thing
There’s a huge difference between physical intimacy and affection. Affection is so innocent, it’s about those shared moments of closeness and comfort. However, all he wants is to fulfill his physical needs, and he couldn’t care less about any type of aftercare.
Whenever you try to cuddle with him, he actually seems annoyed with you. You can feel that he would rather be anywhere else but in your arms right now.
A man who genuinely loves you would be all over you, not because he wants something inappropriate, but rather because he wants to stay close to you.
5. He gets aggressive
When a guy becomes aggressive, it’s one of the signs he pretends to love you. Aggression isn’t always obvious. Sometimes, it’s just about the way he moves or talks. He doesn’t have to touch you to be considered aggressive.
When you try to touch him, he moves his hand away. When you try to kiss him, he looks disgusted and makes a puffing sound. All of those things are aggressive, even if they seem passive. These moments make you scared of every reaction he may have, and that fear is a clear sign of abuse.
6. He doesn’t want to introduce you to his family and friends
One of the signs he pretends to love you is when he avoids introducing you to his family and friends. I mean, you’ve already told your family everything about him, and your friends know that you’re smitten with this man.
However, whenever you bring up the idea of meeting the people who are closest to him, he simply finds a way to avoid the topic. A man who genuinely loves you would be proud to introduce you as his girlfriend to the people who mean the world to him.
This man in particular couldn’t care less. I would guess that he doesn’t intend to stay in your life for a long time, but rather he doesn’t want to explain to everyone why you’ve broken up, once the time comes.
7. He doesn’t hold space for difficult conversations
It doesn’t matter if you want to talk to him about the fact that you haven’t met his family, or that he’s not involved in any plans that you make for the future. He just ignores your need for a conversation and tells you that you’ve been dramatic.
More often than not, this man would tell you to stop nagging him and to be reasonable. That’s manipulation, to be completely honest with you. In the simplest way possible, let me tell you this: a man who loves you would never make you feel like your problems aren’t worth talking about.
8. Somehow, it’s always your fault
Even though he’s the reason you feel terrible every single day, whenever you try to talk to him about it, he turns things around on you, and he makes you feel like you’re the problem. Somehow, every conversation ends the same. It’s always your fault.
Do you think that this would happen with a man who genuinely loves you? His biggest priority would be to make you feel heard and to show you that he cares enough to change his behavior. Only a man who pretends to love you, for whatever reason, would act unbothered and turn everything back on you.
9. He’s on the defense about everything
This goes hand in hand with the previous thing we’ve talked about. I mean, would a man who loves you genuinely always be defensive about the things that you tell him are wrong in your relationship?
“Why am I always the bad guy?”
“Can I do anything right in this relationship?”
All of these sentences are just his way to avoid the actual conflict at hand. He won’t be the first one to start a fight, but once you tell him that something is wrong, he’ll automatically go out of his way to recount every single time that he was mad at you, and he didn’t say anything.
This is one of the signs he pretends to love you. Of course, a man who loves you could also have issues when it comes to communication, so he becomes defensive when you mention something. However, when this keeps happening even after you’ve asked him to be direct with you – then you have a problem.
10. He doesn’t care about things that are special to you
I know what that feels like. You’re in a relationship with someone who couldn’t care less about the things that are important to you because he doesn’t care about you in general. Do you like art? Well, he thinks it’s stupid. Do you like sports? Well, that must be because you follow some stupid sport that he doesn’t even consider to be serious.
Even if it’s simple things like learning languages. You care about that more than anything because you’re passionate about it. But this man doesn’t even want to listen to what you have to say.
However, he gets extremely agitated when you don’t show interest in the things that he likes. He even goes as far as to call you disrespectful.
If you try telling him that he doesn’t care about your interests either, then he gets defensive again and says that the things you like are stupid. He says that he would probably care more if it was something more intelligent.
11. You’re confused
One of the main signs he pretends to love you is when you’re always confused. You wouldn’t feel like this if it was different because you’d be completely sure about his feelings for you.
When a man loves you, he does everything in his power to prove that his emotions are real. You don’t have to second guess his emotions because all he’s doing is showing you love, appreciation, and affection.
If you have to be here, then he pretends to love you.